


Home Is Where The Heart Is

by TiredOfBeingNice



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009, AU (kind of), Abuse, Abusive Father, Alcohol, Angst, Cliche, Dan/OC - Freeform, Drinking, F/M, Flashbacks, Gun Violence, Past Abuse, Romance, Stalker, Violence, bad past, bromantic phan ;), drunk, eventual get together yo, slow burn (i know im sorry), train rescue, whoops :')
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-14 23:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 109,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5763220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiredOfBeingNice/pseuds/TiredOfBeingNice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan brings a broken girl home one day in 2013, after saving her locket from train tracks. She promises she'll leave, but home is where the heart is, and her heart is with Dan. Dan/OC story; Rating for swearing, and mature themes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not Like She'll Get It Back Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A girl drops her locket on the train tracks, and Dan is kind of a big idiot. A good idiot, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This is my first Phandom story on AO3, which I am very excited for. I mean, seriously. 
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go under the same name. 
> 
> I am kind of sorry that there are six chapters straight away; I decided about a week ago that I would post this story on AO3 as well for your enjoyment, so I will be updating this story every time the story on Fanfiction.net updates, so I just decided to post them all now so they could be on the same schedule. Dates from chapters 1-6 were taken place in 2015 because that's when I wrote them. Everything after is 2016, I promise. Just...gahh, it's more complicated when I tell you guys :P 
> 
> Forgive any spelling mistakes; I'm writing this without a beta, so no shaming me for the wrong punctuation/spelling, etc. 
> 
> This will probably be the longest author's note in the story (I'm trying to limit my notes with YouTube stories ;D) so I hope you do whatever you do on this website - I have yet to figure out how this thing works :P
> 
> Enjoy ;)

_**Chapter 1: Not Like She'll Get It Back Now** _

_2013_

Dan Howell rushed through the underground, hoping to catch the train back to his flat. He had just came back from getting his parents a gift for Christmas, and Phil had somehow convinced him that 'now is better than ever!' - when was he going to decide to  _ignore_ Phil for once? That boy was so persuasive...

He looked at his phone, and he had about three minutes until the train came. He blew a sigh of relief.

Dan began to play a few phone games when he heard a shriek. He looked up, and saw that a girl - about 5'8"with brown hair in a tight ponytail hidden underneath a dirty grey hoodie - leaning over the edge of the train tracks. His eyes widened, and he heard the mumbles of 'my dad gave it to me' from the girl.

"What happened?" Dan heard a few people ask from beside him.

"Apparently, that girl dropped her  _beloved_ " - The sarcasm in the man's voice made Dan hate humanity even more than he already did - "locket down the train tracks." Dan looked over at the girl in some sort of pity as the woman shook her head.

"Not like she'll get it back now."

Dan hated physical activity more than anything, nor is he actually  _good_ at exercising. But for some good reason, he felt like he needed to be the hero at least  _once -_ it wasn't like he was doing much with himself nowadays.

He didn't now what possessed him, to be honest.

Dan dropped the bag and dashed to the girl side, towards the train tracks, and leaning in to see something gold sparkle. The girl looked at Dan with some sort of fear in her eyes, and Dan's conscious was starting to tell him to leave.

He jumped down.

The girl shrieked - so did some other people. Dan could hear the train coming as well.

"What the hell?!"

"He jumped!"

"He must be one of those suicide kids."

"Someone help him!"

As soon as Dan's knees hit the metal tracks, and his face scraped against the floor, he froze.

 _'What am I doing?'_ Dan thought frantically.  _'It's just a locket! Goddammit, it's an inanimate object!'_

Composing himself, his ashy hands scramble to grab the locket, throwing it around his fingers. He heard two bells, and his eyes widened as he saw a miracle in front of his eyes when he looked up from his desperate position.

The girl held her hand out.

Panting, with all the strength he had left, Dan grabbed the hand and tried to become lighter. He heard the girl grunt, and he felt himself get pulled up from the train tracks and thrown onto the yellow line that was painted along the edge of the track.

The train came running after, about two seconds after Dan reached safety.

Dan gasped for a breath, on the ground as people clapped around them. Dan just looked around frantically - the white light he had saw before he felt the hand was gone, so he must be alive. He turned around to see the brown haired girl panting beside him.

"A  _bloody hero._ " More sarcasm. Dan hated it.

"Jesus Christ, he's alive."

"A fucking miracle, if you ask me."

"Isn't that the British guy from YouTube? The one with the cat whiskers, I mean."

Dan stood up, brushed himself off, and didn't bother when he missed his train, or that everyone was staring at him like he just won the lottery. He, instead, turned to the girl, smiling tiredly. "I believe this is yours."

The girl silently stood in front of him, and Dan saw that even if she didn't jump down the tracks, there were dirt marks on her face. She grabbed the necklace from Dan's hands, and their fingers' touch lingered a while. She didn't meet his gaze.

"You know, a simple 'thank you' would be nice. I almost  _died_ for that."

"You didn't have to do that." Her voice was raspy, but Dan could identify the British accent.

"Well  _I did,_ " Dan gritted his teeth, trying not to sound angry, "but whatever."

Dan turned to walk away, mad that he saved someone's butt for nothing, and mad that he missed the train. He then felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned around to see the smaller girl turn to him with hazel eyes.

"I said you didn't have to do that, but never said I didn't thank you for it." Dan nodded, but he didn't tear his glance away from the tears that were in her eyes. He looked down at her and rubbed her shoulder reassuringly.

"Why are you crying? You didn't see the inevitable end."

"It's just that no one would do that for me." She mumbled. Dan frowned, and ushered her to the bench to wait for the next train, which, conveniently, arrived in another agonizing ten minutes. He faced his attention to the girl, who wiped the tears from her dirty face.

"I ran away from home." she murmured, looking down. Her back was slumped forward, and her forearms were on her knees. "My dad gave this locket to me when I was fifteen, and he told me to always be a good girl. And I never listened." Dan looked at her in shock, but never asked what she did.

She shook her head. "The least I could've done was keep the necklace. To remind me that I never actually did become a good girl."

Dan erased the thought of 'why don't you just sell it for money? It looks expensive.' and looked at her with sympathy.

"How long have you been on the run?" Dan paused. "If you don't mind me asking."

She shrugged. "My parents lived up north. I did as well. I got a job at Tesco, two months before I planned to run away. Things were getting worse, but I scraped through. I got enough pounds to get a flight down to London about a two months ago. I had enough money for a little food that I ration to last a long time. It's December now...so that means I've been on the run for about a month or two"

Dan's eyes widened. " _A month?_ "

She nodded, looking down. "I lived, hadn't I?"

Dan tried not to let his big mouth say anything else.

"What are you?" she asked, and Dan chuckled.

"I'm a YouTuber." He tried not to sound cocky. "I'm 'danisnotonfire'. I live in a flat with my best friend, 'AmazingPhil'. We've been living in London for a while, mainly because of a radio show we have with BBC Radio 1. We make a living. I'm also pretty clumsy and awkward - I don't do things like that often."

The girl's eyes widened. "I've heard of you. When I was at home, I used to watch some of your videos. They helped. They're pretty good. I'm surprised I never recognized you. Sorry."

Dan laughed. "You don't have to be sorry. It's been a while since you've been on the internet."

The girl shook her head, and pulled out what seemed to be an IPhone 4. "This is mine. I kept it, and brought the charger. I honestly can't last a day without social media, and I knew I would barely survive without it, so I brought it along with the money."

Dan shook his head, standing up and grabbing her hand as he saw the train come. "You are staying at my place until you secure yourself."

She laughed. "Now you are just an idiot. I might be a serial killer or something."

"Are you?"

"...No."

"Then come on."

The girl paused before they got on. "Aren't you gonna ask my name?"

Dan paused. "That depends if you actually want to."

"...Abigail Woods."

"And as you know, Dan Howell."

They both smiled, and Dan hadn't noticed that even if she had been on the streets for nearly a month, her teeth somehow sparkled like pearls against the ocean shore.

He snapped out of his daze as he helped her onto the train. She grabbed her brown, tattered, leather satchel, slung it around her body, and climbed onto the train with him. Dan smiled at her as Abigail looked at him after a moment of silence of standing on the train.

"I hate my name, you know?"

Dan nodded, not looking up from his phone. "Abi it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	2. Twenty Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abi remembers when Dan took her home that fateful day in 2013

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_**Chapter 2: Twenty Questions** _

_2015_

Abigail Woods sat in Phil's room, listening to  _Mr. Brightside_ on full blast as she flipped through a Stephan King book. It was Saturday, and although she had a day off work today, she really wished she could be doing something productive.

Dan and Phil, her flatmates, had went to Tesco, and had texted her that they were on a cab going home. She told them that she misses them, and Phil - being the ball of sunshine he is - promised that he'd bring home a chocolate bar for her.

As if on cue, the door unlocks from downstairs, and Abi lowers the music, closing the book and walking to the door in her slippers and pajamas. She smiles a little when she sees Dan and Phil at the top of the stairs, holding Tesco bags and - as promised - a large Hershey's bar in Phil's hand.

"Can't that smile grow a little bigger?" Phil asks jokingly, placing a friendly kiss on Abi's cheek. "I bought your favorite kind of chocolate bar - Hershey's Cookie n' Creme."

Abigail shrugs. "You know how I am, Lester."

Dan nods as he walks back into the hallway, taking the Tesco bags out of Phil's hands to take them to the kitchen himself. Phil mumbles his thanks, and the two British adults go to the lounge, in which they set up a three way Mario Kart game.

"I might actually beat you, Woods." Phil smirks, turning on the TV as Abigail placed herself on the couch. "I've been practicing."

Abigail rolls her eyes. "You know, Lester, although you are the oldest in the household, you still have the dreams of a four year old."

Dan laughs, bringing in chips and coke into the lounge as he sat himself beside Abigail, taking a controller as Phil pouts, punching Abigail in the arm teasingly. Abigail just laughs bitterly, unwrapping her chocolate bar, and offering Dan a piece. He just bites the bar, leaving a sharp, cut curve on the edge of the candy bar. She narrows her eyes, and Dan smiles cheekily through chewing.

"Sorry, Phil." Abigail chews the Hershey's bar. "I promise I'll leave tomorrow. Get out of your hair."

Dan scoffs as Mario's voice rings through their ears. "Yeah. Okay."

His voice was sarcastic, and Abigail knew it. Phil, surprisingly, remained silent as the three chose their characters and go-karts. Dan lets Phil choose the course as Abigail looks at Dan with a frown on her face.

"Seriously, Dan. I don't want you guys to deal with me. I have enough money. I can live. I'll find my own flat, and I promise I'll be okay -"

Dan cuts off Abi's rants by pressing an index finger on her lips bluntly. "Shut up and play, Abi."

And Abigail obliged immediately, watching as the timer went to three, and on one, she sped past Phil and Dan, and smirked at their reactions.

* * *

_2013_

"Where have you been?!" Phil asked as soon as Dan walked up the stairs and into their flat. "You're nearly an hour late, and haven't answered my texts! I thought every fanfiction came true and you got ran over! I swear, Daniel Howell, I feel like your mother sometimes when you do stuff like this -"

Phil's rants were cut off when he watched in awe as a girl trailed behind Dan. She had short, spiky brown hair, and hazel eyes. She was a bit shorter than him, and she wore a dirty, grey hoodie, a scowl on her face.

"Who are you?" Phil questioned quizzically, trying not to sound rude. Abigail lowered her head, facing the door.

"Someone who shouldn't be here." she mumbled, and was about to walk out when Dan pulled lightly on her hoodie, sending her back to where she was. She silently groaned, and Phil just looked at the girl and Dan back and forth.

"This is Abigail Woods," Dan stated, "and she will be staying with us for a while."

Phil rose an eyebrow, and Dan just brushed Abigail to the lounge.

When they were sure she was out of sight, Phil pulled Dan to the corner and looked at him intensely.

"Dan," he started off, "you know I am one for helping others." Dan nodded.

"That's why I knew you would be okay with giving this girl a chance." he pressed, and Phil sighed.

"Daniel James Howell, you can't just  _bring a girl to our flat._ " Phil went straight to the point. "I know it's the holiday season, but she might be a serial killer, or someone who is obsessed with us. This might just be another phangirl, you know?"

Dan grit his teeth, curling his hands into a fist. He was slowly getting ticked. "She is not another phangirl, _Phil."_ He growled. "She is someone who has been on the run for a month, and I just jumped into railway tracks to get her locket back."

Phil groaned. "You're an idiot."

"You're usually never like this, Phil!" Dan protested, and Phil just sighed.

"I am just be rational, Dan." Dan nearly turned his back on his friend. Phil groaned. "I am the older one here, and I need to make the decisions here. And I am saying that I am not sure about letting a girl, who was out on the streets, into our house."

Dan growled. "She is more than that, Phil. And if you don't accept my decisions,  _you can leave._ "

The words came out faster than they were supposed to, and Phil felt hurt. "Are you threatening to kick me out of  _our_ flat? Do you know the consequences to that, Dan -"

"I'm sorry." Dan blurted out. "I didn't mean it. I was being stupid."

Dan slumped against the wall, fighting off tears as he saw a glimpse of Abi pacing the floor in the lounge. She was probably listening to all of this, and she was probably hating on both of them at the moment. Dan winced at the thought.

"I don't want her to be alone." Dan murmured. "Not on Christmas. There's something about her, I'm telling you, Phil..."

Phil sat beside him, and Dan looked at him seriously. "I think she is... _a game changer._ "

Phil didn't bother to ask what that meant, but instead, he just caved in with a sigh.

"Alright." Dan grinned. He won. Phil seemed to notice the glint of victory in Dan's eyes, and he just pointed a stubborn finger at him. "Just for the holidays, at least. Then we can figure out what to do." Phil added.

Dan smiled. "Perfect."

X~*~X

"I don't think your flatmate likes me," Abigail stated as Dan walked into the lounge. He frowned, looking over to his black haired friend, who sat on their sofa, munching on chips while staring quietly at Abigail - almost like he is observing him.

Dan groaned, but ignored the comment. "Let's play twenty questions."

Abigail rose an eyebrow, but didn't dare speak a word as she crawled onto the ground, crossing her legs and leaning against the bottom of the chair. Dan looked over at Phil, and Phil nodded solemnly, rolling off the sofa and onto the floor beside Abigail. She smiled her best. Surprisingly, Phil warmed up, and smiled as well.

"Before we begin," Phil said, "I want to apologize."

Abi smirked. "What for, Phil? You've done nothing wrong, except for letting a stranger in the house."

Phil laughed, and Dan grinned upon seeing them so happy.

 _'This might actually work.'_ Dan thought happily, and Phil started them off.

"Okay, do we all answer the question?"

"Might as well," Dan answered absentmindedly, and Abigail folded her hands in her lap. Phil nodded.

"Alright, first question - state your name."

Abigail giggled, and Dan rolled his eyes. "Really, Phil? We all know each other."

Phil grinned, and Abigail saw his internet personality shine through. "I am Phillip Michael Lester."

Dan shook his head, but answered anyway. "Daniel James Howell."

Everyone faced Abigail, and she blushed, wishing she could just hide in her hoodie. "I'm Abigail. Call me Abi."

Phil rose an eyebrow. Abigail sighed. " _Abigail Elizabeth Woods._ "

Dan nodded, clearly interested, and things began to lighten up. He could feel it.

"Age?" Dan asked, and Abigail knew this question was more towards her than them. Phil answered anyway. "I am 25." He replied happily, and Abigail smiled - he certainly had a more joyous spirit than the average 25 year old.

"I am 21," Dan said, "which might as well be called the 'golden year'."

Dan was surprised his lame joke caught on, because Abi laughed. "I cannot wait. I am 20."

The brown haired Brit rose his eyebrow, curious. "You lived -"

Abi looked away. " _Don't_."

Dan could hear the tensity in her voice, and he knew that she had stressed out that she didn't want to talk about it. Dan tried to find words, but things have fallen silent, and any knowledge - or at least a damn apology - escaped his mind.

Phil cleared his voice. "Favorite color?"

* * *

_2015_

They finish their Mario game an hour later, after Dan nearly threw the controller at Phil in a joking way, and Phil almost cussed. They all had a laugh about it, and as Dan made some stir fry per request, Phil and Abigail watch TV in the lounge.

"I'm really sorry, Phil." Abi suddenly spoke out.

Phil looked at her as if she were a wild animal. "What could you possibly be sorry about?"

"Today," she takes a breath, "marks the second official year that I've stayed here."

Phil avoided her glance. "December 11th, 2013. The day I convinced Dan that buying his parent's Christmas gifts were better than nothing. And I guess I was right in some way, if you know what I mean, Abi."

Seeing Phil's smile made it harder for Abi to fight back tears. "I'm moving out."

"You always say that," Phil said almost immediately, but a small part in him worried.

Abi shook her head. "No. For real. I am moving."

Phil looked at her instantly, trying to fight back his own tears. "Abigail Woods, I know I was on the fence about it the first day I met you, but dammit, Abigail Woods, Dan was right - you are a game changer. The good one as well."

Abigail sniffled. "I am just a hobo living in your house."

Phil could hear the pain that was masked in her voice as he crawled over to hug Abigail tightly, and Abi just caved in and hugged him as well, coincidently in the hoodie that she wore on the very first day they met.

"Okay." she whispered.

Phil gave his best smile. "You are always welcome here."

Abigail nuzzled in the crook of Phil's neck, and as their TV blared on, Abigail sighed.

"I like him." she said softly. "That's one of the main reasons why I stay."

Phil understood, because this conversation had happened way too many times to count. "Of course."

X~*~X

Dan hummed in the kitchen, and he heard Abigail and Phil whispering, then laughing. He caught a glimpse of Abigail leaning on Phil.

His heart did a little fall, but with pain, he picked it back up, along with the soy sauce for the stir fry.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	3. Eyes Like Christmas Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abi can't imagine how Christmas would be any other way if it wasn't the "Dan and Phil" way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_**Chapter 3: Eyes Like Christmas Lights** _

Abigail sat down on one of the bar chairs in the Starbucks cafe, shivering because of the cold air the door opened up into the shop. Phil was right beside her, playing an intense game of Crossy Road, and Dan on her left, scrolling through Tumblr.

"One grande peppermint mocha latte for Abi?" A barista calls out, and Abi smiles a little, awkwardly raising her hand. The barista gives her a warm smile, and Abi just takes her latte with one hand and hops off her chair to get a cap.

"I wish they'd just put the caps on for you." Dan remarks as Abi returns to her seat. "It would be so convenient."

Abi giggles. "Good baristas are hard to find, Daniel."

Dan rolls his eyes, and Phil looks at both of them with a smile, thoughts whizzing faster than the snow outside.

"So what's the plan for the holidays?" Phil asks, sipping his hot chocolate as Dan shrugs nonchalantly.

"I don't know," Dan says, not really paying attention. "I kind of want to stay home for Christmas Eve. You know how I feel about travelling during the snowy times; something that takes way too much effort to even bother."

Abi nods. "Where would we go, anyway?"

"Space?"

"Shut up, Lester."

Phil pouts, and Dan snickers. Abigail looks at them with a smirk, sipping her latte as she watched a guy and a girl, who seems to be his daughter, walk into the cafe. The girl was probably eight, and she was tugging on her father's jacket. Her smile falters as she watches the father's focus go from his phone, down to the little girl.

"You're such a pest, y'know, Gale?" Abi hears him say, and the little girl - Gale is a beautiful name - smile, hugging her father's leg.

"Love you, papa."

"Love you too, G."

This makes Gale smile, and it makes Abi smile as well, before it faltered, and made her bite her lip before she started crying her eyes out in the middle of the cafe. She continues to watch though; the dad slips his phone in his pocket and picks Gale up, spinning her around and kissing her forehead, making her squeal. Her blond locks flew past her face, and she kissed her dad on the cheek.

"Abi?" Dan asks, snapping Abi out of her semi-trance and looking at the brown headed Brit.

"Yes?" she replies, sickly sweet as well.

Dan narrows her eyes at her suspiciously. "Are you okay? Have you even listened to anything we have said?"

Abigail blushes a bit, hiding it behind her cup.

"Sorry, can you repeat?" she squeaks in a tiny voice, and Phil just frowned, as if studying her in some way.

"Dan and I were just discussing what we are going to do for our holiday radio special. I say we do a festive hashtag like '#cookingfails' or '#weirdchristmastraditions'?" Phil suggests, and Abi purses her lips a bit.

"Hashtag 'weird Christmas traditions' is long, but it sounds promising. I say go for that one." she responds absentmindedly, and Phil smiled, clueless to her attention span, and types down the hashtag in his notes. Abigail's eyes travel to the father and the daughter again.

"I wanna a pony for Christmas, daddy!" she squeals again, and it tugs at Abigail's heart.

"Do you think that'll even fit in Santa's sack of toys?" The father replies, staring into her big, brown eyes.

"Maybe I'll ask for a reindeer, and he'll just add it to his reindeer squad!" she counterattacks, and Abigail grinned at the girl's remark. It seems as if the dad liked it as well, because he laughs, ruffling her hair and getting his coffee, holding his daughter's hand all the way out.

"You alright, Abi?" Dan asks again.

Abigail faces Dan with a sad smile. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

* * *

_2005_

A Christmas tree was centered in the middle of the room, and lights glowed vividly outside, but inside the house, the only light was the fireplace and the tree, due to the fact that the hope in thirteen year old Abi's heart was dimming.

She sat beside the Christmas tree, cross legged and looked at the presents. The shiny wrapping paper reflected in her hazel eyes, and she looked up, her hair dangling behind her as a smile grew on her face, showing dimples.

"Daddy?" Abi called out. "Are you coming?"

Not long later, her dad came shuffling down the stairs, his eyes baggy from lack of sleep, and red from crying. His hair was a mess, and all he wore was pajama pants, a white t-shirt, a red robe, and slippers.

"Merry Christmas, daddy." Abigail whispered, sliding her gift to her dad's feet. He frowned bitterly at it, but sat down beside her anyway. Abigail's eyes lit up like the tree as she watched her dad tear the wrapping paper apart, revealing a box, containing a white mug that said '#1 Dad'."

"I love it." he mumbled, giving her a quick hug and setting the mug aside. Abigail fought off tears.

"No you don't." she said bitterly, and her dad let go abruptly.

"I am sorry, Abigail," he replies just as snarkily. "but you know how things are going right now."

"It's  _Christmas_ , daddy." Abigail moaned, and her dad angrily stood up.

"Your mother is not here," he growls. "It's not Christmas unless she is right beside us, but  _she's not_. So fuck off, okay?!"

He stormed up the stairs, leaving Abigail to cry by the tree.

X~*~X

Her dad came back about two hours later, and comes back to see Abigail at their kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal silently. He shuffled past her, but not before slipping a small, wrapped box beside the milk. Abigail looked up, and her dad's eyes moved towards the box, telling her to open it.

Reluctantly, Abigail did as told, and revealed to herself a golden locket in the shape of a heart. The year '2005' was engraved on the surface.

"Be a good girl, Abi." Her dad murmured in her hear, kissing her forehead, and walking out of the house, leaving Abigail to stay in the house alone, where she realized that the locket her dad gave her had a picture of her dad, her mom, and herself in it, along with the words 'be a good girl, Abi' engraved in there as well.

She cried.

* * *

Abigail sits beside the tree, surrounded by pieces of wrapping paper. They had just finished opening presents, and now Abigail was going to clean up. When Dan walked into the lounge from the gaming room, Abigail smiles, and Dan sits down beside her.

"Hey," Dan says with a grin, and Abigail nods silently, holding onto her whisker-themed mug.

"Finished filming?" she asks, and Dan nods, eyes twinkling like stars.

"Yeah, I think it's good. We just finished filming the final 'Dilmas', and I think it is going to be a perfect way to end 'five days of Dilmas.'. All that's left to do is edit some stuff out, and we can post it by Christmas Eve."

Abigail smirks. "You're 24, and you're career is you living vicariously through your virtual son's life."

Dan sticks out his tongue, and rolls his eyes at her. She giggles in response.

"Jk," she says, pronouncing each letter, "I love your videos and you know that."

"You're right." Dan says with a wide grin. "You are, like, Dan and Phil trash #1"

Abi leans back, laughing as Phil walks into the lounge with a Christmas jumper and his phone in his hand, a wide smile on his face that pushed up his black-rimmed glasses. Abigail's eyes widened, covering her face.

" _Phiiiillll,"_ Abi moans, giving him that knowing look, and Phil laughs.

"Don't worry, Woods," he says with a smile, "It's just for us."

Abi nods in satisfaction, and Phil waves the IPhone camera in front of Dan, who gives his best 'festive smile'. Abigail, however, just smirks at how ridiculous he looks, and Dan seems to see this because he just punches her lightly on the arm.

"You know, Abi," Dan says, avoiding her glance and searching through gifts, "you are going to have to show your face one day."

Abigail grimaces. "Don't remind me. I don't think I am ready to ruin any chance of 'Phan' and get trampled by a bunch of fangirls in order to protect their beloved 'internet leaders', if you know what I mean."

Phil nods. "Fair enough. Can you imagine how many subscribers we'd lose?"

Abigail's eyes widen with a smile, and Dan just laughs hysterically.

"Just get us some food, Lester." Abigail hisses, but the smile never leaves her face. Phil's eyes light up, and he looks at his flatmates with the widest smile he could muster.

"Christmas cereal?" he suggests happily.

Abigail didn't know how to turn down a face like Phil's. "Sure, why not."

With that, Phil ventured into the kitchen, leaving Dan and Abi alone.

"Speaking of which, I forgot to give you a gift." Dan says quickly, and Abigail looked at him incredulously.

"You forgot to give me a gift?" she asks curiously, and Dan nods happily.

"Close your eyes first, Abi." he commands, and Abi giggled.

"I don't like where this is going," she says, half joking.

Dan rolls his eyes. "Just do it, please. Or I'll do it for you."

Abi quickly closes her eyes, biting the bottom of her lip nervously as Dan pulled two things out of his pocket. They glistened in the moonlight, and he slipped them into Abigail's open hand, placing her fingers over them

"It feels metal-y." Abi says, and she opens her eyes when Dan draws his arms back.

"Ta-da!" he exclaims, and Abigail looks down to see what was lying in her hands.

It was a silver charm in the shape of a heart that read '2013', and and a bronze one in a shape of a heart as well that had '2009' engraved in it.

"What are these?" Abigail asks curiously. Dan smiles.

"It is charms of the most important years of our life." he explains. "Open them."

Abigail starts off with the charm that read '2009'. She popped it open, and saw a derpy photo of Dan and Phil, which Abi recognized from the first 'Phil Is Not On Fire'. Small words were engraved on the other side of the locket.

"'This was the most fun I've ever had. '" Abigail reads aloud, and Dan blushes.

"I gave one to Phil as well, but as a key chain." Dan explains, embarrassed. "It resembles an important year in our lives, if you know what I mean. I just want you to be a part of it, if it makes you happy."

Abigail smiles, saying nothing as she looks at the silver charm/locket that read '2013', kind of knowing what was going to be inside.

It was a photo of Dan and herself, at the beach one summer. Phil had taken the picture; Abigail clearly remembered. She wore a bright pink bikini that Dan had helped her buy, and Dan was wearing a black t-shirt and blue shorts. He wore sunglasses, and Dan had the 'hobbit hair' everyone loved. Abigail's brown hair flew back, and they both were laughing.

On the other side, likewise to the '2009' one, it had the words 'I believe this is yours' written in cursive.

Abigail was on the verge of tears. "These were the first words you said to me."

Dan nods. "Right after I risked my life to get your locket."

"How'd you remember?"

"I'll always remember, Abi. That was important."

"You never remember to send texts anymore. Aren't those important?" Abigail says snarkily.

Dan rolls his eyes. "Besides the point, Abigail."

Abigail watches in awe as Dan moves his hand towards her chest, lifting up the familiar golden locket that was a bit rusted at the edges. He took it off her neck in a swift motion, and slipped the two lockets onto the chain.

"Now you'll always have us right in your heart," Dan mumbles, and Abigail quickly pulls Dan into a hug.

"Dammit, Howell, you are so cheesy."

"Those make for good nachos, you know?"

Abigail laughs, and when Dan begins to help her clean up, she touches the charms were her fingers, looking at the pattern - the gold on the left, the bronze in the middle, and the silver on the right. 2005, 2009, and 2013.

Abigail smiles; this totally beats the jumper she got Dan.

X~*~X

Phil looks into the lounge, carefully holding three bowls of cereal, and watches the scene unfold before his blue eyes. He smiles widely, and tries not to make any squealing that would ruin the moment in an instant.

_'They're oblivious.'_ Phil thinks, and when he makes sure they're done, he goes into the lounge, and smiles when Dan and Abi exchange glances that glistened with happiness.

Phil suddenly, in that moment, realized how all the 'Phan shippers' felt when watching their videos; absolutely frustrated.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	4. Curses - You Get Beaten Up By A Teenager

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knew Boxing Day could be so brutal?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_**Chapter 4: Curses - You Get Beaten Up By A Teenager** _

_2015_

"Okay, Abi, come on! I want a good spot! Life is brutal on boxing day, and you know that!" Phil yells from the bottom of the stairs, and Dan is leaning against the wall, in the middle of an intense game of  _Crossy Road_. Dan takes a second and smirks at Phil, which is responded when Phil just shuts hip up with a joking smile, as if trying to be a little stern with the younger man.

"Coming, coming." Abi moans, coming into view. Dan looks up, and smiles, seeing his flatmate in a red hoodie and jeans.

"Nice hoodie," Dan remarks with a smirk. "It is actually a colour of the rainbow, and as an ambassador of darkness, I am very proud of you."

Abi actually giggles and runs down the stairs to punch Dan in the arm. "Shut up, it was a gift from my friend who works at Starbucks."

Dan smirks. "You have friends other than us?"

"She knows my order by heart now, so I guess it's appropriate to say she is my friend." Abi looks at him with a Cheshire cat grin. "And you can't say anything, Howell, because the only friends you have is me, Phil, and maybe Chris and Pj."

Dan blushes. "Shut up, Abi."

The two just laughed, walking ahead, and Phil looked at them with a star-struck awe, that just leaves him smirking - if they had the guts to leave him in the dust, he was pretty sure this proves that they were soulmates after all.

Phil jogged up to catch up to them, and they went towards the nearest Starbucks, grabbed some lattes, and then to the Underground.

Waiting for the tube was taking a while, so Phil retired all hopes of conversation to play on his phone, and Dan and Abi started a conversation.

"I see you're wearing the charms." Dan says, looking down at Abi's necklace, and she blushed, brushing the necklace to be buried underneath her shirt. Attempting to cover up her embarrassment, she smirks instead.

"Looking at my chest, are we, Mr. Howell?" she says, and it's Dan's turn to blush.

"I-I didn't mean -" Abi laughs, her head hanging back.

"It's alright, I was joking, Dan; you should know that by now."

Dan just chuckled nervously, and Abi just looks at her phone, groaning.

"Wow, this is taking a while," she complains, and Dan rolls his eyes, leaning forward to look at his friend.

"Phil," Phil looked up and nodded at Dan's direction, "remind me why we are at the Underground at seven a.m to catch a train to the department store on Boxing Day, when we have this thing called, oh, what's it called again, oh right; the  _internet."_

Phil rolls his eyes, but Abi finds it quite amusing, as she stifles her laughs behind her phone.

"I just think you both need to get out a little bit more." Phil jokes, and both Dan and Abi look up from their phones with a roll of they eyes. Phil smiles, and pulls out his own phone, flashing the screen towards his friends.

"Also, Chris had this hilarious game called  _'Curses!'_ and since it is boxing day, it should be pretty cheap."

"Oh Phil, as always, looking for the bargain." Dan laughs, and hunches his back like an old man. " _Oi! What's cheap, dew droppers?_ "

Phil looks at Dan incredulously, while smiling. "What on earth is a dew dropper?"

"I'm pretty sure that is 1920's slang for a slacker." Abi says nonchalantly, not paying attention to her goofy friends and more attention to her phone game.

"Aye, now you're on a trolley!" Dan says with as much of an accent as possible, making Abi snicker, and sending her bird to death against green pipes.

"So what is ' _Curses!'_ , Phil?" Abi finally says, losing interest in  _Flappy Bird._

Phil smiles like a child. "It's this game where you get a card, and a situation, such as 'demonstrate a scene in which you are about to battle a rogue racoon', and you are supposed to reenact that scene.  _B_ _ut," -_ Phil throws his index finger up - "there's a twist!"

"Exciting." Dan says in a monotone voice, and Phil just gives him a sarcastic look.

"There will be this 'curse' you'll have, like 'your fingers are chopped up, so your hands have to be in fists the whole time', so while trying to demonstrate a scene when you're fighting a raccoon, you have to keep your hands in a fist."

Dan's eyes widen. "I think I heard of this game. I saw a video on it, and one of the suggestions were to be Captain Hook, therefore saying things in a pirate accent, and that is the curse. Then the challenge is to do something while doing that, like trying to convince someone to buy something. If you slip up, then you ring a bell or something. Is that right, Phil?"

Phil beams. "Yeah! That's the one. They just get wackier and wackier, and I played it with Chris once, so we need that for our next party."

Abi smiles. "That actually sounds like fun, Lester."

Dan nods with a sarcastic grin. "Which is perfect, because we are going to have a party with a limited amount of people on New Year's Eve, so we can play that."

Abi snorts, to which she also adds, "Are you guys actually holding a New Year's Party?"

"We actually are! A bunch of YouTubers are coming." Phil pauses. "And by 'a bunch of YouTubers', I mean Louise, Chris, and Pj."

Abi nods. "A little more realistic."

"I guess that means we should probably buy some wine and beer, huh?" Dan adds, watching the train arrive as they stand up to wait for the doors to open. "I think we need to run and get some more. Can't have a New Year's party without some alcohol."

"Gonna get hammered, huh, Howell?" Abi says with a smirk, and Dan just whoops, catching glances, and he ducks his head, blushing.

"Don't get your head stuck -"

"Shut up, Phil."

Abi laughs, beating them both to a seat, forcing the two British giants to stand on the train.

"You guys are a bunch of doofuses." she ends up saying, leaving Dan and Phil to laugh along with her.

* * *

"I can't believe we actually got to the front of the line!" Dan exclaims with a smile, looking at the people gathering behind them.

"I told you!" Phil proclaims proudly. "I knew that waking up would be worth it."

Abi rolls her eyes, sipping her latte. "This isn't a very popular department store, Phil. Not that impressive"

Phil pouts, and Abi smiles, ruffling his black hair. Dan awkwardly digs his hands in his pockets as he watches an employee walk to the front of the line, a worried look written on his face. Dan feels a bit of pity for this guy - he has to deal with such a stampede of mad shoppers in a few minutes.

"Poor employee is going to get trampled." Abi says, as if reading Dan's mind. Dan gives her a look, but says nothing as Phil determinedly narrows his eyes.

"Okay, as soon as he opens those doors, we storm in and try to find the game section. We are getting this game, and letting nothing stop us - not even crazed shoppers. We are not to fail, do you guys understand?" Phil's voice intensifies, and Dan looks at him as if he was from another planet.

"Who are you and what happened to 'I-wouldn't-kill-a-moth-for-my-best-friend' Phil?" Dan sneers jokingly, and Phil shrugs.

"I really want this game." Phil replies, and Abi nods with a smile of diamonds.

"Okay, I'll go get the beer and alcohol since I have the best taste in beverages" - Phil and Abi exchange looks - "and you and Phil go and get that board game. I think it'll be easy, don't you think?"

Phil is the first to reject the idea. "I think you and Abi should go get the board game. I can get the beer."

"You always get girly drinks." Dan huffs, trying to steer away from going alone with  _Abi;_ his heart won't be able to handle that, and he definitely knows it.

"I won't, I swear." Phil puffs his chest proudly. "I am a man now."

Abi laughs. "I guess we can do that, huh, Danny?"

Dan blushes. "I guess."

"Try and get some other stuff for the party, 'kay?" Phil suddenly says, realizing this is a perfect way to start the two getting together as soon as possible. "I think we might need to freshen up our food sources and our entertainment stuff."

Abi is about to protest, but feeling a little braver, Dan smiles. "Maybe I can find some CDs for the party."

Abi looks like she is going to blush until her cheeks bust, but she smiles anyway. "There might be some mixtape with cool music and what not. I think that'd be perfect, right, Phil? Do you think that'll be good?"

Phil knows Abi - when she rambles like that, he knows she's embarrassed.

Instead of calling her out for it, he smiles. "That'd be awesome."

"Alright people," The frightened employee stammers loud enough to catch the crowd's attention. "I would like to say to come in an orderly fashion. We open in 3,"

People had determined faces, and Abi was shell shocked at how competitive people were on boxing day. She was actually quite frightened herself - she hated crowds from when she was a child, so when Dan sees the flicker of fear in her eyes, he squeezes her hand.

"Don't let go." Abi blushes, and Dan blushes when the words come out of his mouth.

"I-I mean so you don't get lost."

"Yeah, of course, I knew that."

Phil just snickers as the employee shakily calls out that the store was opened, and people were welcome to go in.

People didn't even wait to hear the specials from the poor guy. In a hurry, shoppers dash into the school, and the poor employee threw himself to the side.

Phil quickly told them to meet him in the front when they were done, and they were separated by crowds as soon as possible.

Dan and Abi made their way to the games section, not letting go of each other. Dan was surprisingly fast for a guy who claims he hates running, and Abi is dragged along the aisles of busy people. She gulped at the people literally fighting and getting torn apart before they could start a fight on who gets the laptop - people take boxing day seriously.

"I think I see it!" Dan says, and Abi squints and sees a yellow box with ' _Curses!'_ sprawled across the box in blue font.

Abi also sees some girl go towards it as well, and that was when she realizes that it was the last box there.

"Dan, I think someone is going to get it if we don't hurry." Abi says quickly, and Dan narrows his eyes, letting out a battle roar that makes Abi scream in laughter. He bolts towards it, and triumphantly grabs the box before the teenage girl could grab it.

" _Yes!_ " Dan yells in victory. He doubles over to take a fake breath, and Abi laughs, grabbing the board game and tucking it under her arm.

"Okay, let's go because things get dirty -"

"Hey,  _assholes!"_ The teenager suddenly screams.

Dan and Abi are astonished at the language, and turn around to take a closer look at this girl. The girl had snakebites on her lips, and her hair was jet black with an electrifying green streak in her hair. She wore neon clothes, and she narrowed her almond like eyes.

"I need that game, so I suggest giving it up." she growls, and Abi is astonished on how much of an action movie and boxing day are so similar.

"We got this game first, so please don't mind us - we don't want things to get dirty." Abi squeaks, oddly afraid, and Dan starts to feel a bit defensive. A bravery blossoms in him, and he looks at the girl sternly.

"Just scram, girl. We got in fair and square" he hisses. The girl seems to be taken back, and so does Abi; since when did

"Dan, let's go." Abi mutters, and Dan just nods.

As soon as they turn their backs, Dan feels a hand at his shoulders.

"Wha -" Dan murmurs, and both of them turn around before the unexpected happens.

The teenage girl socks Dan in the eye, and he exclaims in pain before collapsing on the ground.

"Dan!" Abi screams, and the girl growls as she goes on her knees, right above Dan, and continuously punches Dan in the face. A cut is formed on his lip, and his eye is starting to form a bruise. The girl smiles evilly, punching him one last time, and with a pained grunt, Dan Howell was knocked unconscious.

"Oh my god." Abi mumbles, and nearly drops the game. Before the girl could lunge at Abigail to get the game, security grabs the teenager away, who was thrashing and screaming like a maniac.

Conveniently, Phil comes with bottles of wine and packs of beer, and he gasps at the blood on the floor.

As paramedics surrounded the brown-headed Brit, Abigail managed to sneak a tear, thinking Phil didn't see.

But he did, so he wrapped his arms around her securely, and they were all escorted out.

* * *

Dan blinks, and he finds himself lying on the lounge couch. He groans - he doesn't remember much from what happened, other than some psychopath that they ran into at the department store.

He looks over, and sees Abi watching TV, cross-legged on the carpet.

"A-Ab-" he croaks, then realizes how bad his voice sounded. Abi turns around, and her eyes widen, but she tries not to look like she is about to vomit at his condition, or cry at the fact he is actually speaking to her.

"A cut lip, sore throat from punches to the neck, and a bruised eye." Abi says shakily, looking over her shoulder to see Dan awake. "Dan Howell, I am astonished."

Abi smirks - though she is sincerely worried - as she sits beside Dan on the lounge couch. She offers him an ice pack, and he moaning at the cool touch of the ice that as on his head. Phil rushes into the lounge at the sound of Dan's voice, holding a mug of coffee.

"I didn't know you were awake." Phil remarks, and he grins at Dan.

"We got the stuff free because of you, so thanks for that, bud."

Abi punches Phil in the arm jokingly, biting her lip at Dan's strained smile. "Shut up, you spork."

Phil sighs as he looks at Dan. "Are you actually good?"

"Yeah, of course." Dan says, slowly sitting up. "Wanna watch some Netflix?"

Abi and Phil exchange looks before the brown haired girl speaks up. "Dan, you seem to be taking this a lot better than it is. You just got beat up by a teenage girl for a board game, and you are taking it as you got a paper cut."

Dan closes his eyes, trying to fight off recurring memories and the headache.

" _I'm fine._ " he hisses, and Phil is slightly taken back at the intensity in his voice. Abi is just confused.

Dan sighs, mutters an apology, and Abi and Phil are astonished when Dan stands, ice pack still to his head. He heads for his room without muttering a single word.

"Is something wrong?" Abi asks.

Phil frowns. "I don't exactly know."

* * *

Dan is in his room, and he is shivering. Night dawned, and he could hear Phil and Abi watching Game Of Thrones on the television. He wants to watch, but looking at himself in the mirror - with his bruises and swollen lip - makes him want to throw up.

 _'It wasn't him,'_ Dan reassures himself.  _'It was some nasty teen girl, and it wasn't_ him  _who beat you up.'_

Dan looks at himself in the mirror, pulling up his shirt to reveal a dark scar that was still lining his stomach. He looks at it with some sort of wonder and star-struck gaze, but sighs before closing the lights of his room and falling on his bed. Sleep.

...

Abi listens from the other side of the door. She heard pacing and sighing, but when she saw those lights flicker off and a thump on Dan's bed, she opened the door slightly to see Dan had already fallen asleep.

She fights the urge, but she sits beside him, and before she knows it, she's fallen asleep, and Phil is smiling at the door; thinking of how much he'd want to get them together as much as the phan shippers wanted Dan and Phil to make out in the recording room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	5. Literally Falling For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She should be astonished; the fact that Dan Howell doesn't even know which song the infamous 'G' note belongs to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_**Chapter 5: Literally Falling For You** _

_2009_

The first time she thought about running was in 2009, on December 31st.

"Dad, I think you've had too much to drink." 17 year old Abigail Woods said to her stumbling drunk that she called her father.

It was New Year's Eve, and, at the moment, she was escorting her dad out of the house they were visiting for a party. Her dad started reminiscing about the past year, and began drinking heavily before eventually becoming as helpful as a pebble.

"Come on, lift your legs; your heavy." Abi grumbled, and her dad swung his arm off Abi's shoulder, catching her by surprise. Her dad nearly tumbled back. Abigail yelped, and reached out to grab him before he'd fall on the wet ground. Luckily, he didn't fall, but Abi was more than worried.

"Get off me,  _Abi._ " he hissed like a snake.

Abi shook her head, attempting to grab him again. "Dad, you are drunk, and you need to calm the fuck down."

She liked being able to swear around her dad when he was drunk because he'd never remember. She took her anger on him when he was drunk, and it usually worked, but Abi was astonished at his reaction his dad presented this time.

"Don't you swear at me,  _young girl._ " Her dad pushed Abi back, and she was sent tumbling backwards, onto the ground.

"I am not  _drunk!_ " he roared, and slapped Abi on the ground.

Abi was shocked; her dad never slapped her before. Yeah, there were the occasional times he'd lightly punch her during tough times, but he'd promised her that he wouldn't do it. He promised her, when her mom...left, that he'd be  _okay._ He wouldn't be an alcoholic, or he would never lay a finger on her.

But he broke both promises, and as much as she hated him for it, he was in a dark place; Abi constantly reminded herself of that.

"Come on, dad," Abi said, getting up and grabbing her dad. He seemed to have given up, and was more like a puddle of bones now. She led him to the car, and placed him in the backseat. She took the wheel, and drove all the way home.

Looking in the rear view mirror to make sure her dad was asleep - well, more like passed out, but not conscious, nonetheless - and Abi's vision began to blur with tears. She wanted to run. She wanted to leave before it was too late, and things would get worse.

But she looked at her dad in the backseat again, and she heard his snores. He wouldn't be okay alone. She had to stick with him.

She had to stay.

...but not for long.

When they went home, her dad was able to stumble into the house and pass out on the couch. Abi went to her room and opened her laptop, closing her door and plopping on her bed. She started to go on different websites, before finding the job registration for Tesco.

Her mouse lingered on the link, before she shook her head, closing the tab - but not before saving the link.

She suddenly went to YouTube, where she saw a new face pop up on the home screen.

It was this video called 'How To Use A Gimp' by some guy named 'danisnotonfire.'

Abi's eyebrows knitted together - she never exactly heard of a gimp, and it looked quite comedic, so she clicked on it out of curiosity, and saw that it was posted on December 9th of this year, and was his most recent video at the moment.

After a funny five minutes or so, Abi smiled, liked the video, and clicked on the guy's account.

There were a few brown stars, and small drawn picture of what seemed like the guy, and she found out his name was Dan Howell. Apparently, he was taking a gap year off university to 'pursue this whole YouTuber thing', and that the video she just watched was his fifth one. She clicked on a previous one, and it was of him, talking about how to become friends with their internet stars, and was introduced to some guy she found out was called 'AmazingPhil'.

The two were pretty weird looking guys who had fringes and British accents, but they were certainly memorable.

Shaking her head, Abi closed her laptop and fell asleep with her lights on, not bothering to tuck herself in, or check on her dad.

* * *

_2015_

Five days after "the-emo-girl-board-game-boxer" incident - as Phil liked to call it - it was finally New Year's Eve; the very last day of 2015.

Abi couldn't believe it happened - she had survived yet another year, and it had been nearly two years since she had seen her dad. She shuddered when she thinks of the memory of her dad, and she always felt so selfish and guilty for what happened. She still remembered the New Year's incident of 2009...

"Abi!" Phil calls out from the lounge, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Are you done changing yet? I need some help with the streamers."

Abi perks up at the words, and she rolls off her bed, nearly knocking some bright red pillows off. She goes to her full-length mirror, that was hung prominently on her door, and examines how she looked as quickly as she could.

As it was a New Year's party, and Phil was unbelievably persuasive, Abigail had bought a dress. Or rather, Phil helped her buy a dress, while Dad geeked out at the nearest video game store. It was nothing special, in Abi's opinion, but it was certainly something - it was a cheetah print dress that was silver and grey, and sleeveless; which was new to Abi, because it seemed a bit risque, but Phil, of course, convinced her that it was nice.

Along with that, Abi wore the three charmed necklace she loved, despite the memories it brought - particularly the 2005 one. She had black flats, and her spiky brown hair was up in a messy bun with a silver flower pin, instead of her usual ponytail.

Abi complained that it was a bit showy for a New Year's party at their flat, along with the fact it was definitely fancy, but Phil had told Abi that their theme - their small New Year's get together had a  _theme_ for goodness sake - was 'black and white, or silver and grey, fancy-dancy and sophisticated New Year's party', so Abi was practically forced to comply.

When she walks into the lounge, she was astonished at the decorations.

They seemed to think the decorations thoroughly, and they certainly have went with their theme of silver and grey, along with the fact that it was certainly fancy. The streamers were silver, and they shone against the dimmed lights. Dan had found this cool disco ball, and they hung that in the lounge's ceiling. Silver and grey confetti littered the carpet, and she saw a glimpse of the kitchen, which had a small table with wine glasses and bottles of wine and beer. The New Year's party in New York was playing on the TV, and she saw Phil, in the middle of it all, on a small step stool, hanging a silver 'Happy 2016!' sign.

"Hey, handsome." Abi purrs, and Phil turns around with a wide grin, hopping off the stool with his eyes widened.

Phil was wearing a stunning silver blazer, that shone against the disco lights, with a white shirt and a black tie in the middle of the open suit jacket. He wore black jeans, and had a little silver top hat rested on his head, askew, which was probably a headband. He also wore his best black sneakers.

"Thanks, Abi!" Phil bubbles. "You look awesome."

Abi blushes. "And you look  _amazing._ "

Phil rolls his eyes, and helps Phil with the sign until Dan walks in, and they freeze.

Dan hadn't talked to them much for the past five days or so, and he had been strangely quiet. The purple bruise on his eye seemed to have dimmed a little, though it was still visible. His lip was certainly better, however, but that didn't distract Abi from what he was wearing.

He was wearing a subtle grey blazer, with a white dress shirt and a black tie in the middle. He and Phil almost looked identical, but Dan looked a bit more calmer, like he wanted to blend in a little more than the other two.

"Hi." Phil says awkwardly, getting off the stool and walking towards Dan. Abi follows, a bit worried at what Dan's reaction would be.

Instead, Dan fiddles with his thumbs, looking down at his black shoes. He doesn't respond, but he looks like he wants to.

Abi doesn't know what to do, and she desperately wants to - Dan looked so uncomfortable; and it isn't in his usual comedy way.

Without warning, Phil tackled Dan into a hug, something Abi or Dan was not expecting. Sure, Phil was always the perky "sunshine" one out of the three friends, but they never expected Phil to just... _solve things._

Abi, however, isn't sure if Phil had solved...whatever Dan's problem was. But it seemed to do the trick for now, because Abi saw that half-smirk that she always knew, and Dan reluctantly hugged back, chuckling a little.

"Thanks, Phil." His voice is raspy, like he has never used it for a long while. Phil doesn't let go, despite hearing how bad Dan's voice sounds, and, eventually, Abi decides to join in their hug, a small smile on her face.

She doesn't think it matters until she feels an arm around her waist, and her own hand brushes against it for a while. When a hand squeezes hers, she knows right away it's Dan's hand, and she smiles. It's soft, and Abi doesn't want to let go.

But she does before she could get carried away, and Dan smiles at his two friends.

"I-I'm sorry." he stammers, and Phil or Abi feel like they don't even have to ask why he was sorry. Instead, Phil just pats Dan's shoulder, and walks off to get the food on the table in the kitchen, and put a playlist on his phone, once again leaving Dan and Abi alone.

"Are you alright?" Abi suddenly squeaks, her accent thick with worry.

Dan nods silently. "Yeah, thanks."

"What happened, Dan?" Abi feels brave enough to ask. "You really scared me -  _us._ "

Dan closes his eyes for a brief second, and he opens his mouth to speak when he is interrupted by a knock on the door. Abi winces, biting her lip in disappointment, and Dan silently blows a sigh of relief to himself. He was safe. For now.

"I'll get it!" Phil yells, and dashes down their infamous flights of stairs to greet everyone that was at the door.

"Who's coming, anyway?" Abi asks, trying to forget the rather serious moment that she and Dan had.

Dan shrugs nonchalantly, trying to fix a few pillows.

"Chris and PJ are definitely coming," he pauses, before adding, "and maybe Carrie, along with Louise."

"Cool." Abi says awkwardly, because that is all she knew what to her say. Her big vocabulary have seemed to be escaping her, and it seems like Dan felt the same way too. Both stood in an awkward silence before they heard cheery voices come from the bottom of the stairs.

"Hello, hello, hello!" A feminine voice with a thick accent rang in Abi's ears, and Abi grinned.

"Louise? Is that you?" she calls out, and Dan smiles a little.

"Yes, it's me!" Abi sees two familiar faces appear from the top of the staircase, and she squeals when she sees the familiar curly haired girl trailing behind the girl with a pink streak in her hair. Abi's smile broadens at the sight.

"Oh my god, Carrie? Louise?" Abi tries to keep her excitement; the two girls were like sisters to her, and she had to at least feel a little excited.

"Abigail, dear!" Louise hugs Abi tightly, and nearly tackles her down. Abi squeezes Louise with a wide smile, and then moves on to hug Carrie.

"I am so glad you can make it, guys!" Abi smiles, and Carrie reels back when the hug is done, fluffing her hair a bit with a wide grin on her face. Dan looked at the three girls in some sort of amusement, but the three girls didn't care.

"Of course we made it, Abi!" Carrie gushes.

Louise smirks, dusting off her dress. "And, of course, we couldn't leave you alone with the 'fantastic foursome', am I right?"

"Ugh, stop it." Dan mutters with a grin, before briefly hugging the two British girls, before Louise gasps.

"Oh my god, Dan!" Dan frowns, looking down at his clothes.

"Should I change?" Abi hates how Dan played dumb, but said nothing as she heard the voices of Chris and PJ from down the stairs, and decided to say hi.

"No!" Carrie says suddenly. "It's just...your eye."

Dan's eyes widened, and his hand instinctively moved up to touch the bruise. He simply laughed it off, telling them about that "the-emo-girl-board-game-boxer" incident, keeping it mostly vague, and interspersed with multiple "um's" and "uh's". Carrie and Louise two just expressed their concerns and left it alone.

"Hey-o, the party starts  _now!_ " Chris hollers, bouncing into the room, with PJ and Phil trailing behind them. Abi chuckles, and she hugs Chris and PJ tightly, smiling widely.

"I haven't seen you guys in...forever." Abi says with a grin, and PJ ruffles Abi's hair softly, careful not to ruin it.

"Missed you a bunch, B-bug." Abi pouts at the nickname, but grins anyway, leading everyone to the lounge.

Everyone has complied with the black and white theme quite nicely, if Abi had to say anything about it. Carrie was wearing a white dress and silver heels, and her curly hair was bouncy and free, but still quite tame. Louise wore a shiny black and white dress, with black flats, and a small clip in her hair. PJ and Chris looked like opposites - while PJ was wearing a black tux and dress shoes, Chris was wearing a white suit.

"It's because PJ and I clearly came as one costume; black  _and_ white." Chris jokes a little later, and it earns a good laugh.

Midnight has come, and the New Year is rung through, and while Phil entertains his friends with his constant throwing of confetti and attempts at playing 'The Weakest Link', Abi can't help but realize that Dan was basically alone.

Dan, however, didn't mind. He silently cleaned up a little, picking up beer bottles and sweeping up confetti. If it wasn't for Chris, who drunkenly asked Dan to come and play with them, Dan may have had no fun whatsoever.

The Weakest Link has ended - to Abi's relief - and the rest of the time was just them dancing and socializing. Carrie busted a few notes on their new karaoke machine, and Louise joined her, a bit buzzed, but still a bit sober.

Even as PJ started a Mario Kart game a short after, Dan still didn't seem fully relaxed, tensely holding the beer bottle in his hand. It was 2 am, and Abi finally grew tired of it.

"Daniel James Howell," Abi hisses quietly, walking up to Dan, who was quite bewildered. "I know you aren't complete  _healed,_ but at least look like you are trying to have a little bit of fun. For Phil's sake, even. Poor guy has been doing everything he could, and you are being a stubborn  _twat._ "

The words came out faster than Abi expected, and she knew it wasn't the alcohol talking, considering she only had one glass of red wine, and wasn't even done yet. Dan, however, looked a little hurt at the statement, and Abi cowered back.

"I'm sorry, Dan." Abi whispers, about to ramble when Dan shuts her down.

"S'fine." Abi looks confused, but Dan walks to the kitchen before she could say anything.

Abi sighs, but wanders back to the Mario Kart game, in which she watches in amusement as her friends play. Louise complains on not knowing the controls, Carrie surprisingly does quite well, Chris just basically twisting his fingers at the controller, and the only two who seem to be really into it were Phil and PJ.

"Damn you, last place person with your frickin' blue shell always targeting the first place!" Phil almost curses, and Abi raises her eyebrows.

"Phil, watch your language." Abi giggles, and Phil blushes as PJ speeds past him.

"That might've been me, sorry!" Louise bubbles, still in last place, and everyone laughs.

Phil manages to sneak back into first place, and finish first place as well. Carrie was in second - in which everyone was a bit surprised, but Carrie just played it off with a smirk - and PJ was in third. Chris somehow earns fourth place, but Louise, however, was in sixth, in which everyone has a laugh about that after.

"You should play, Abi!" Phil prompts, and Abi cowers in her seat, sipping a bit of her wine before setting it aside - she had no plans in getting hammered tonight. Hopefully.

"Sure." she mumbles, and Louise offers her gaming control and letting Abi choose the course.

They go on the Animal Crossing course, and Abi totally dominates it. At the end, Abi earned her rightful place at first.

"Dammit, Abi!" PJ yells, and Abi just barks in laughter.

Phil punches Abi in the arm lightly. "I shouldn't be surprised. You probably lived as Princess Peach in your past life."

Abi blushes, and just laughs alongside Phil. People animatedly talk with Abi, stirring conversation.

However, Dan just watched from afar, gripping the bottle of beer in his hand. He hadn't planned on drinking a lot, but the stress of the week and Abi - oh, most certainly Abi - was slowly getting to him. Slowly, but surely.

Pushing everything aside, he pops open the cap and takes a swig of the beer, the bitter taste lingering before Dan smiles in resignation.

He mans up and goes towards his friends. "May I have a go?"

Everyone looks at him in an astonished silence before Carrie gives up her controller to Dan and he chooses the course.

Abi loses, but not because she wanted to. Dan was distracting her; the sudden attitude change that he expressed, and more importantly, how Dan looked at her every now and then, followed by taking a sip from his beer bottle.

It concerned Abi even more when Dan had asked Abi to get him another glass prior to him winning for a second time.

* * *

Carrie, Louise, Chris and PJ leave at around 3 in the morning, and Dan had wandered off somewhere, most likely his room, with a bunch of beer bottles at 2:45 am. He had told Abi that he would be practicing some piano, but Abi knew that wasn't the case.

"That was a wild night." Phil breathes out, helping Abi clean up some stray plates and glasses.

Abi throws out some garbage and massages the bridge of her nose. "It was. Almost everyone got drunk."

Phil nods, smiling a little. "Be honest, that is basically what New Year is all about. Even I drank a little, and I hardly drink. That's just how life is, if you know what I mean. Life is basically drinking on New Year's without any care."

"Cheers." Abi says jokingly, and Phil laughs.

"By the way, how is Dan?" Phil suddenly asks after a little silence, and Abi looks at Phil as if he were from another planet, swiftly sweeping up some confetti of the ground.

"What about him?" she prompts, but she knows exactly what Phil meant. Phil knows that she knew as well.

"He was quiet the whole time. You know, except when he grabbed those beer bottles and dominated every game of Mario Kart until he couldn't hold a controller properly. I'm almost a hundred percent sure that he was taking a swig every time he won." Abi half smirks, hoping Phil was joking and Dan wasn't that bad.

But Phil looked utterly serious, so Abi sighs. "You want me to check on him, don't you."

"You are probably the only person he'd open up to."

"Shut up, Lester." Abi manages to avoid his gaze so he wouldn't see her blush.

He does.

"Just go on, young padawan." Phil ushers her away. "I can clean up. Go and be the Princess Leia to Dan's Hans Solo."

"I knew it was a mistake to watch Phantom Menace before people left!" Abi yells, hearing Phil's laugh from the hallway, and made her way to Dan's room.

She didn't know how she couldn't hear it before, but it was Dan playing sloppy notes on the piano. Abi notices how every single piece started with the infamous emo G note, followed by what Abi thinks is a F#. The rest is just screwed up notes that sound out of place.

"Dan?" Abi asks, opening the door to see Dan at his piano, beer bottles surrounding him. He growls when he messes up.

" _Goddammit!_ " Dan curses, slamming the piano keys as he leans back and takes another drink. He is using his butt chair, so his back just slouches against it. Abi's eyes widen, and she goes to his side, pulling the beer bottle back.

"Um, Dan, I think you've had enough today." Abi says gently, but Dan spits at the carpet.

" _Puh-lease_ ," he slurs. "that's what practically everyone in the  _world_ says."

His hands explode open, throwing his arms to both his sides, and Abi somehow avoids getting hit. Abi was about to cut him off, because what he is saying doesn't make much sense, but Dan starts ranting about the same thing.

"Everyone in the wor-world say that," - Dan hiccups at the word 'world' - "but no one means it. And you or I never hear it, because there are just so many damn people in the world, Aba- whatchamacallit. Er, Abbey...maybe Ally? Or is it Abi-something." Abi is shocked; Dan was so drunk he couldn't even remember her name.

"It's Abi!" Dan snaps his fingers, and his voice startles Abi. "Your name is  _Abi!"_

Dan claps his hands like a three year old, his accent distinguished through his laugh, and Abi rolls her eyes.

Dan pats Abi's back. "Abi, Abi, Abi, my  _bestest_  friend in the  _whole entire world!_ "

"Dan, I hope you know that you're drunk."

" _Your mum's drunk._ "

"Dan, go lie down." Abi says bluntly, knowing she should probably get him to sleep before he does something stupid, but Dan shoves her away.

"I twyin' to learn Yellow Parade." Dan blows a raspberry, and Abi giggles.

"It's  _Black Parade_ ," she corrects him. Dan frowns.

"I think it should be yellow parade." He crinkles his brow. "Or maybe rainbow parade! Rainbow parade sounds just  _grand._ "

Abi can't stifle her laughs any more. "Dan, if you must know, it starts with the G note,"

Abi plays the G note. "Then F#," - She plays the note - "followed B E D," Dan watches in amazement at the notes Abi was playing. "then G C B, E A and D." She smiles and then motions Dan to do the same. He sloppily presses the keys in some indecipherable way, and squeals at the noise it makes.

"It worked! I hit that G note hard! And the fucking F# was fucking perfect!" Dan exclaims, and in excitement, he leans too far back and topples onto his back, his butt chair nearly falling on top of him as well. Abi's eyes widen.

"Dan!" Abi exclaims, and kneels beside Dan.

Dan's eyes flutter open and he guffaws at the sight of Abi.

"I fell and bumped my head! Like the old man in that rain song! Abi, did you see? I can be the next old man in that rain song!" Dan squeals, and Abi just finds this incredibly stupid, and it reminds her of Dan's 'drunk liveshow' a few years back.

"What number are you on the drunk scale, Daniel?" Abi felt obliged to ask.

"Obviously a four." He holds up three fingers, looks at them with a lopsided grin and his eyes widen, smile fading. "Shit, I'm missing a finger."

"You're definitely more than four, Dan. You could probably be a ten. Or whatever place 'not-knowing-what-the-title-is-to-the-emo-anthem-and-forgetting-that-you-have-five-fingers' falls under." Abi says with a smirk.

Dan ignores this and just giggles, like it's a joke. Abi groans.

"Come on, Dan, let's get to bed." Abi says, getting annoyed.

To add to Abi's night, Phil began to blare  _The Killers_ on his iPhone, something he does regularly when cleaning up the house. Dan seemed to hear the music, and his eyes widen. Abi groaned; there is no way this could get possibly worse.

Unfortunately for Abi, it does.

"Let's dance, Abi!" Dan shouts, getting up in a stumble and grabbing Abi by the wrist. "This is your favorite song, and you fucking know it!"

 _'Dan is quite the potty mouth when drunk,'_ Abi thinks to herself as she watches Dan bob his head.

"Jealousy, turning saints into the sea!" Dan screams at the top of his lungs, sing widely. "Swimming through sick lullabies! Choking on your alibis!"

Abi watches as Dan thrashes his head all around, playing some sort of air guitar as his hair flies around his face and everything. Dan is literally jumping all over the place, rocking out to Mr. Brightside very enthusiastically.

"Come on, Abi, sing with me!" Dan bellows over the music. Abi bobs her head, throwing her hair out of her bun and singing along with Dan.

"But that's just the price I pay!" Abi closes her eyes, pretending her hand is a microphone. She tries to convince herself that it is just to amuse drunk Dan, but she knows herself that she is having a little fun, even if it is unintentional.

"Destiny is calling me!" Dan answers back, his eyes blown wide with excitement. He twirls Abi around, and it catches her by surprise.

"Open up my eager eyes!" Dan screams, and he literally rips off his shirt. Abi's eyes widen, and she stares at Dan's bare chest longer than she should be.

"'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside!" he sings, and then a guitar solo erupts in Abi's ears, followed by a chorus of 'I never!'s.

A drunk smirk was tugging at Dan's pale face. He pulled Abi into an embrace, moaning a little. Abi was shocked, but didn't do much to stop him. In fact - she didn't know if this was the alcohol lowering her inhibitions, or if this was her own conscious - she ran her hands down Dan's bare chest.

"For someone who claims they ' _aren't fit',"_ Abi smiles, "you sure have quite the form, Mr. Howell."

 _'Am I drunk?_ ' Abi hears herself think. Unfortunately, the thought is scratched out, as Abi looks at Dan's chest again. She crinkles her brow and sees something that wasn't noticed minutes ago.

"Dan," she asks, "what is that on your chest? Wait, is that a... _scar?_ "

Dan frowns, his mind hazy and not able to think. Abi doesn't let him answer, and brushes her finger against the dark line that drew across Dan's skin.

"Agh,  _fuck!_ " Dan hisses at the touch. Abi's eyes widen, snapping her out of her stupor as Dan falls back onto his bed.

"Bloody hell, Dan!" Abi curses, attempting to grab Dan's wrist to catch him. Unfortunately, things don't turn out well, and Abi falls right on top of Dan.

"Shit," Abi swears. "I mean... _shit_."

"Um, should I leave you two alone?" A voice from the door asks, and Abi squeaks, looking down at Dan, who was below her. To Abi's luck, as soon as drunk Dan hit the pillow, he passed out.

Abi scrambles off the bed, hearing Dan's snores.

"Oh my gosh  _Phil._ " Abi exclaims. "I-It isn't -"

Phil says nothing as he smirks at her. "You know, when it came to you and Dan, I always wondered who'd bottom and who'd top."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	6. Unforgettable Sounds And Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of the piano matched the sound of Dan's misery; quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_2002_

Ten-year old Abigail was at the top of the stairs, watching her parents argue in the middle of the night. Their screams woke her up, and she held her stuffed bunny even tighter when she heard words that she never heard before. Words that rhyme with 'duck' and 'sit'. Words that if even uttered in her class, the teacher would send the person down to the principal's.

"She is just a girl, Ben, she needs her mother!" Abigail heard her mother wail through tears.

She peeked through the rails again, and saw her dad's red face. "Well, her  _mother_ doesn't understand!" Abigail thinks that her dad was talking in third person, like they learned in class. "Her  _mother_  doesn't understand that it's not working out, and that she needs to  _fucking leave_ before I murder her alive."

Her mother paled. "B-Ben."

"YOU KNOW I CAN!" Her dad slammed his fist in her mother's chest. She gasped, doubling over."YOU KNOW WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF, AND I PROMISE YOU I AM NOT AFRAID TO PULL THAT GUN OUT AND SHOOT YOU IN THE FUCKING HEART! THE HEART THAT HOLDS NO LOVE FOR ME, OR MY DAUGHTER!"

Abigail sucked in a sharp breath, throwing herself to the wall where the spaces between the rails stopped. She heard things she should have not heard, and she knows that. Her mind raced and when she dared to sneak a glance again, she watches her mother grab her jacket and her white beret. Tears stained her cheeks, and she grabbed her hat and ran out the door.

"I didn't mean it, Elizabeth!" Her father screamed, tears down his eyes. The scream wasn't angry though; the scream was scared. Hopeless. Sad, even. "I didn't mean it, I swear, I was just mad...!"

Abigail then heard the most horrifying scream she ever heard in her life. One that pierced her ears and left an imprint in her mind forever. The scream was followed by metal and screeching of tires, and her father yelled as well.

Abi cradled at the staircase as she watched her dad run out the door, after grabbing out of the drawer; something slick, long, and black. She heard a click, and watched her dad storm out the door, face still red. She heard the startled mumbles of her dad, and then the most terrifying 'click' and 'BANG' she had ever heard. She didn't know what it was, but she knew it couldn't be good.

When her dad came back, he slammed the door and he took off his gloves silently, not counting the heavy breaths he took and the sobs. His hands were red, and his hair was filled with leaves. His eyes were bloodshot and wet with tears, cheeks flushed and sticky. In his red hands was the familiar hat that her mother had worn, but it was smothered in red, sticky blood.

She watched as he collapsed on his knees, crying as he held the hat close to his face, blood rubbing against his cheek.

"E-Elizabeth," he sobbed. "I am s-sorry...s-so s-s-sorry." Abi had never seen her dad so distraught.

He continued to cry. "I had t-to. F-For you. I-I swear."

Abigail gasped, covering her mouth.

 _'_ _YOU KNOW WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF, AND I PROMISE YOU I AM NOT AFRAID TO PULL THAT GUN OUT AND SHOOT YOU IN THE FUCKING HEART! THE HEART THAT HOLDS NO LOVE FOR ME, OR MY DAUGHTER!'_

The words echoed in her mind.

' _YOU KNOW WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF'_ Abi choked on her sobs, tears running down her face at the words. ' _THE HEART THAT HOLDS NO LOVE FOR ME, OR MY DAUGHTER!'_

"D-Daddy?" Abigail whispered, barely audible. Her dad, however, heard her mumbles, and when he looked up at his daughter, whose hair was riddled from sleep, and her eyes were wet from tears, he started to cry even more.

"G-Go..." he murmured, voice growing scarily quiet.

"D-Daddy, please." Abi pleaded one more time.

" _I SAID GO!_ " The roar would forever be in her memory, and Abi squeaked, scrambling backwards and dashing to her room, not being able to let the sounds that was echoing in her mind escape her memory.

Sleep was almost impossible.

* * *

_2015_

Abi could never forget the sounds she heard this morning.

She woke up with a small headache; nothing as bad as Dan might have been experiencing, may she add. She woke up this morning, a frown on her face, and her hair was a mess. She was still in her PJ's, and before she asked herself 'why', she remembered changing. After...

She shook it off, and went to the kitchen, where the sounds of a kettle screaming and cereal falling echoed in her tired ears.

"Morning, sunshine." A sleepy voice says wearily. Phil's.

Abi manages a smile as she walks towards the entrance of the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. She is about to respond, but, of course, she ends up slamming her face onto the stupid glass door, and bonking her forehead with a 'bang.'

"Bloody hell." she groans, rubbing her forehead. Phil rushes up to open the glass door, and Abi blinks.

"You should've told me you didn't open the door." she grumbles.

Phil nods tiredly. "Yeah, I know, I probably should've. Sorry."

Abigail hears the traces of guilt in Phil's voice, and she shifts nervously.

"I'm sorry, Phil," she sighs. "it wasn't your fault. I am just really cranky because I am suffering from a mild hangover. I swear, even if I drink a glass or two of red wine, my brain still decides to bang against my skull like a drum."

"Same." Phil replies. He pauses before adding, "Want an Advil?"

Abi shakes her head, shuffling into the kitchen to grab a cup. "No, I'll just take a cup of tea or something."

"Tea?"

"It's that kind of morning, Phil," Abi says. "don't judge."

Phil has the guts to smile, and he prepares a cup of green tea for Abi; her favorite.

"Thanks, Philly." she says, kissing Phil's cheek. Phil blushes, and he just nods in respond, going back to pour milk in his cereal. He pushed his glasses up, and he made his way to the lounge, seeing a glimpse of the red logo for 'Netflix' flashing on the TV screen.

"What do you want to watch?" Abi says, scrolling through the options.

"Attack on Titan." he answers almost instantly, and Abi grins wearily.

"Haven't you finished that?"

"...no."

Abi doesn't know if he was lying or not, but she couldn't bring herself to care as she just clicked the icon and played an episode Phil had requested. He smiled, thanking Abi, and about ten minutes into the show, Abi hears something falling, making a loud thump on the ground.

"What the hell was that?" she mumbles, lowering the volume.

They then heard a loud groan, something they were both familiar of. Phil and Abi exchange knowing glances, and Phil crosses his legs on the couch.

"Well, looks like Sleeping Beauty is awake." he says with a wide grin, and Abi sighs, abandoning her cup of tea on the table and heading towards the kitchen. The sound of water falling into a glass and the sound of rattling pills was heard in the kitchen, along with the ruffle of what seemed to be Malteasers.

Abi walks out of the kitchen and to Dan's room, where she sees Dan, still shirtless, and half his body on the ground. His hair was messier than hers, and his eyes were barely open. Abi could still see the scar she distinctly remembered pointing out the night before on his chest.

"Dan," Her accent wavered through her speech. "are you alright?"

" _Uuuuugggghhhh,"_ Dan groans. "my head is killing me."

His speech is slightly slurred, but definitely not as bad as it was before. Abi smiles sympathetically, and she pulls Dan onto the bed with a loud thud. When his head hits the pillow, he groans even louder, leaving Abi to just help him sit up.

"Take an Advil, Dan." she says, concerned. "You had a lot to drink last night, so I think you should take it. Maybe two."

"Not three?"

"No, you still have to suffer the consequences."

"What consequences even happened last night?" Dan frowns, then corrects himself. "That doesn't make sense, I mean what happened last night?"

"You got wasted, if you want the short story." Dan lets his head fall back.

"Is that why my head feels like it might explode in my skull?"

"At least you can form sentences." Abi pauses, before smirking. "And I am glad you only get headaches, and you're not having the 'throwing up' kind of hangover. That would be quite catastrophic, don't you think?"

Dan musters energy to lightly punch her on the arm. "Shut up, you spork."

Abi giggles. "To be honest, even if I didn't have much to drink, I have a slight headache. Nothing as bad as yours, though, I assume?"

"If 'not as bad' is classified by the fact I don't want you to turn on the lights," Dan says wearily. "then I probably have a headache worse than yours."

"Eeks." Abi says with remorse. "It's your fault, really. That last bottle wasn't necessary."

"What was I like?" Dan asks. "I mean, I always classified myself as the silly drunk, or the sexy one..."

"Mostly...uh..." Abi didn't know how to put this lightly. "You took your shirt off, and thought 'Black Parade' was 'Yellow Parade.'. Even 'Rainbow Parade'. Then you danced with me while singing Mr. Brightside off key. And I'll try not to forget your name, like you did to me."

"Shit, was I that bad?" Dan whimpers.

Abi nods, avoiding his gaze. "You also thought you were 'four' on the drunk scale, when you were obviously a 9 or 10, and you even put up three fingers because you didn't know how many fingers you had. It was funny."

Dan groans, nearly banging his head on his wall. "You have to be fucking kidding me..."

"I wish." Abi laughs nervously.

Dan finally took the pills, popped them in his mouth, but frowned. The pills were clearly still not swallowed, and he looked at the glass of water nervously, looking down at his black and white bed sheets.

"Er...by eh-ny shance you ha food?" Dan asks, words muffled by his tongue, which was holding the pills.

Abi pops out a fresh bag of Malteasers. "Yeah, I got some."

Dan grins and he opens the package and pops a Malteaser in his mouth. He chews the chocolate, and swallows it, along with the pills. Abi takes one as well, as her eyes traveled to Dan's bare chest, where a glimpse of the dark scar peeked out of the blankets.

"Dan, we need to talk." Abi went up to close the door as she said this.

Dan paled. "Did I do something wrong as well? Did I...shit, did I do anything  _to you?"_

Abi chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed again. "Not anything you could avoid, no."

Dan looked at her curiously, and Abi tried to drown away the sounds of Phil munching on cereal in the other room, along with sounds of Titans and anime warriors slashing the flesh of monsters alive. Abi sighs.

"When you took your shirt off," Abi starts off slowly. "I...I couldn't help but noticing this."

Dan frowns again, and he watches Abi pull down the sheets to show Dan the full scar. It was purple-ish, and the area around it was slightly pale. Dan just blinked, and Abi could see that Dan's face was scrunched up, as if he were thinking.

"E-Explain, please, D-Dan." Abi tried not to cry in front of him. "I-I know this wasn't because of the 'emo-girl-board-game-boxer-incident', or whatever we called it. This cut wasn't made with someone's hands, this was made by...b-by something else."

Dan couldn't take it. He wearily shot up, standing shakily. The room spun, and he was able to stumble all the way to his butt chair, that was still in front of his piano. Abi stood up as well, fully alert, only to hear the gut-wrenching sob coming from Dan.

He slammed his fists into the piano keys, making an off key noise, head slumped.

"Dan." Abi sternly says, pulling up a computer chair in his room and sitting besides him. "P-Please tell me what happened."

"Go away, Abi." he growls, not showing his face.

"Dan." she says again.

"Please, I'm begging you,  _go._ "

"Dan, I'm not leaving you -"

"I SAID GO!"

The familiar words echoed in Abi's mind.

 _'I SAID GO!'_ Her dad's voice screamed.

' _I SAID GO!'_

_'GO!'_

Abi managed to stand up, and stumble out of the room. Dan finally looked up, and Abi was still an inch out the door. Abi turned around to see Dan's wet brown eyes and his paled expression. His hair was still messy, but his cheeks were sticky.

"A-Abi, did I-I -"

"Shut up, Howell." Abi growled, going up to his face fast enough to actually knock him down on the ground. "You said it, you can't take it back. You may not know what you said, but you fucking said it. I'll leave you the fuck alone, 'kay?!"

Dan knew Abi's angry rants happened when she was anxious. He said nothing, though; just managed a nod.

Abi didn't help him up when she stormed out, and Dan didn't even bother to get up from his place on the rug.

* * *

"Abi?" Phil asks after an uncomfortable hour of silence between the two in the lounge. "What happened with Dan?"

Abi looks at Phil with steely eyes. "Nothing, Phil."

"It's obviously something if we spent two Deathnote episodes in absolute silence. What's bothering you?"

Abi sighs, and lowers the volume of Light talking on the TV. "Dan and I...we had an  _interesting_  conversation in his room."

Phil takes his eyes of the screen and looks at Abi, tilting his head curiously. "What do you mean by 'interesting'? I am pretty sure that 'interesting' does not classify as astronomy or what movie to watch, or who is going to cook dinner...?"

Phil's voice squeaks higher at the last suggestion, and Abi can tell what he was trying to tell her.

She, however, does manage a laugh "No, Phil, it wasn't that kind of conversation." She pauses. "And you are cooking tonight. It's your turn, stop being lazy."

"Pizza delivery it is." he retorts, and Abi smiles, leaning on Phil's shoulder.

"Thanks so much, Phil," Abi says with a smile. "you always know how to cheer me up."

"That's why I am so  _amazing._ "

"Shut up, you spork."

Abi's phone buzzes, along with Phil's, and both exchange glances at once. They open their phones, and they see a Twitter notification, a Tumblr notification, and a YouTube notification. It was from Dan's channel, and it said 'New Video'.

"Dan made a video?" Abi asks airily. "I didn't even know he was filming at all this week."

"Maybe this is the video he was working on." Phil prompts. "He did ask me about some editing software updates and some confirmations on how to use the new program we are trying out. He might have filmed it last week..."

"Do you think it is..." Abi didn't know what to say, but Phil seemed to understand.

"It's called 'Regret'." Phil says nervously.

Abi looked down, but the two turned off the TV and reluctantly watched it.

"Do you think it means anything..."

Abi shakes her head. "N-No. Probably not. I know Dan. He tends to say what's on his mind, but his channel is for entertainment, not any sappy drama that other people do. That's why Dan's different. It -"

"Stop rambling." Phil cuts her off. "I know you're anxious when you ramble, so calm down."

Abi takes a breath, and shakily smiles. "Alright. Thank you, Phil."

Phil moves his thumb to press 'play' on the screen, and the screen came to life as Dan's face showed up. His fringe was swept to the side, and Abi remembered Dan wearing that shirt he wore when they went to the department store for boxing day. The most profound thing on the screen was the purple-ish bruise circling Dan's eye, and the small cut on his lip.

He looked at the camera for a brief second, and then sighed, waving his hands wildly. "Okay, calm your tits, lemme explain."

Abi smiles and Phil stifles his laughs; they sometimes forgot that they lived with a famous - and very funny - YouTuber.

A jumpcut, and Dan did his usual greeting with his two fingers to his forehead.

"Hello internet, today I am going to talk about regret."

The screen turned black and white, and Dan leaned to the right a little.

"But Dan, what could you possibly regret? You have a great life, you're on YouTube, and you have friends, food, a house to live in, and other things that are essential in life!" The mocking tone of his voice made Abi remember the Dan that didn't yell at her, and didn't get drunk.

The screen was back to his regular color, and Dan looked at the camera with a sarcastic look that made Phil giggle.

After about five seconds of silence, Dan leaned forward. "Have you actually ever  _watched_ any of my videos?"

"Basically," Phil laughs. "I honestly don't know what fraction of his videos were about fails."

Abi, however, remained quiet, and continued to watch.

Another jumpcut. "But to be honest, this video is probably going to be a little serious. So," - He points his index finger at the camera - "warning!" Abi and Phil exchange looks, and they watch Dan lowers his eyes.

"First of all, this," He pointed to his bruise. "is a long story."

Abi closes her eyes; the more she thinks about what had happened, the more she wishes she could've done something. Like stop the person, or going all Mortal Kombat on the emo girl's ass. Phil looks at Abi, but says nothing.

"Long story short, we call it the 'emo-girl-board-game-boxer' incident," He puts two air quotations above his head. "and it consists of the fact that some emo girl - who was actually very emo before you in the comments say anything about it -  _beat me up.._ for a  _board game."_

He pauses, before grinning. "Perfect title for it, huh?"

Abi chuckles, and another jumpcut appears. Dan waves his hands again, rolling his eyes.

"But before you guys go all ape shit in the comments screaming 'DAN, IS YOU OKAY?'," - Fire erupted on the screen and the background turned a tainted red. The picture vibrated, and Abi laughed at the effect - "I am fine. I am actually okay, and there were no hospitals involved. Just a few bruises -"

Dan was then wearing a muscle shirt, and Abi pales a little. Phil smirks at the reaction.

"I'm a big boy! I can handle it!" His voice is octaves lower, and he flexes his "muscles.". It makes Abi smile.

Jumpcut. Dan coughs awkwardly, before flashing his thumbs in the next jumpcut."At least we got everything for free though!"

Abi and Phil listen carefully to the next words.

"But in all seriousness, I am going to explain to you why I chose," - He swiped his hands on the screen - "regret."

The word, in white, flashed on the screen, and Abi gulped.

Dan leaned back in his chair a little. "You see, there are a bunch of things I regret. There are things from my deep,  _deep_ past," - His face is zoomed in - "that I regret  _a lot._ For example, the time I pulled the string off a girl's bikini, or even the time I talked to Nick Jonas after the People's Choice Awards,"

The screen turned black and white, and his fists were curled in front of his face. "So much regret."

The screen was normal again, and Dan continued his rant.

"But there are things, even now, that I regret. Not like it's any bad, definitely not - I love where I am now, don't get me wrong." Abi watches him sigh. "It's just...sometimes, I don't make the best choices, and I mean, that's okay."

Dan bit his lip. "If we are going to be specific, sometimes I do things that are dumb. Like..."

Abi could see Dan was nervous. "Like fighting back."

Abi and Phil exchange looks.

"Fighting back, saying some rude stuff to dickheads, etc, etc."

"What does he mean by that?" Phil questions. Abi shushes him in the most nicest way possible.

Dan took a sharp breath. "Enough of that, I do have some great things. Things I don't regret. I don't regret taking the leap of fate and posting my first video, even if it was absolutely cringe-worthy. I don't regret moving to London, with my best friend, Phil, and I certainly don't regret giving a home to my roomie - hey roomie, by the way, if you're watching this, which you probably are!"

Abi almost forgot that Dan and Phil had mentioned her in a couple of videos, even if they never showed her face on camera. During live shows, she watched them on her laptop using earbuds, and she stayed in her room. Still, she had never heard Dan say 'roomie' in a while, for the fact he hardly mentions her. She frowns a little in confusion.

"The moral is that if you are have a little regret in your life,  _it's totally normal._ " Dan smiles. "I'm going through it, which should be normal, right?"

Crickets sounded, and the serious part was over in a jumpcut.

"But yes, that's that. Whatever you are regretting, regret it and move on. That's all I have to say! Seeya next time." He saluted the camera, and the camera flashed to his subscribe page.

The video ended promptly. Phil and Abi exchange looks, and Abi stands up immediately, making her way to Dan's room.

* * *

Dan could hear his voice from the lounge; they were watching the video.

He joked in his mind about 'regretting making the video', which was ironic, but he still thought of it seriously. His life was on a slant at the moment, and he was desperately trying to push it up. It took his whole effort to try and be funny during the process of filming it, but seriousness always shone through it.

He wished, however, he filmed it after he got drunk. At least he would have another story to tell.

Comments were what he expected. People wanted to kill the emo girl, give him hugs, find out who Abi was, etc, etc. Dan got sick of reading the comments - none of them were about the video itself, the quality, or any helpful tips. But, to be fair, none of the comments on his videos ever consisted of that, so he didn't mind at all.

"Dan?" A voice whispers at the door.

Dan turns around, and he knows that it was Abi. He sighs.

"Come in." His voice sounds groggy, and he wishes it didn't sound as annoyed as he wanted it to be.

But the door opened anyway, slowly but surely, and Abi's brown hair peeks a little through the cracks of the door. His mouth curves into a small smile at the sight of her face, and he motions her to his old piano.

"Hey." Dan says quietly.

"Hi." she replies, a bit hesitant, Dan could tell.

They stayed in silence as Dan sighs.

"You know, I remember you teaching me the opening to 'Black Parade'." Abi raises an eyebrow, and he shrugs. "I...I just remembered. Thanks, by the way, I don't know why I didn't Google it earlier, but drunk people don't have a conscious."

Abi laughs nervously. "No problem."

Silence crept in again, and Dan blinks.

"I-I'm sorry, if I offended you with what I said. I-I swear I didn't know, and I might never know -"

"It's fine, Dan," Abi interjects. "I shouldn't have flipped. I..."

She bites her lip. "I just want to know."

Dan starts to play a tune on his piano, and Abi doesn't recognize it.

"I composed this song about seven years ago. I was eighteen, I think?" Dan doesn't stop playing, and Abi listens closely. "I didn't know what I was doing with it, but what I felt was a big part of the piece itself. I knew I was never Mozart. I never showed anyone the piece. I am quite astonished that I actually remembered how it went."

Abi stays silent, even if she doesn't want to.

"It was, I don't know, my last year of high school, and there were these groups of bullies. They were a dickheads, don't get me wrong," - The piece started to intensify, and Abi could never forget the sound. Dan must've worked so hard on this to be able to play it while speaking. - "but no one ever...did anything about it."

The piece suddenly softened gradually. "Except me."

"I was getting annoyed, and I thought if I stood up for myself, they'd stop. Which they did..." He sighs. "Just to other people."

Abi's eyes widen. "Wait, Dan -"

Dan didn't let her finish, and the sounds of the piano were seared into her mind.

"They bullied me constantly, before, one day," - The piano briefly stopped. "they went too far."

Abi pales, and the piano piece resumes.

"They brought me to the back of the school and told me to give them money. 500 pounds, I think. I don't know exactly. But I said no, and they went as far as to throw me onto the wall and beat me up. I don't know how I survived."

Abi was close to tears. She didn't know that the story would intensify.

"They stabbed me." he says bluntly, and Abi's hand flies to her mouth.

"They dragged the knife across my stomach, and, I'll admit, it was a scary moment for me."

Dan couldn't play anymore; he was done. Abi sobs, and hugs Dan.

"D-Dan, I am so sorry." she says, but Dan pulls away.

"Some freshman saw them, and called the police. They were arrested, and I went to hospital. I was fine, but the scar remains."

They sit in silence. "D-Dan, have you ever talked to anyone about this?"

Dan shrugs, looking away. "It hasn't been mentioned for a while. I...the 'incident' triggered the memory."

Abi shakes his head. "Unbelievable. I-I -"

"It's fine." Dan cuts her off again. "I-I have been through so many mentions of regret, just...leave it."

Dan stands up, and sighs. "I'll cook tonight. Tell Phil it's fine."

"He's ordering pizza."

Dan walks out without turning back. "I don't care."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	7. Bright Lights That Cast A Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're just one big phanabily; Dan, Phil, Abi, and Striker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> *Happy Birthday Phil Lester; thank you for being the bright light in my otherwise dark life. *

_**Chapter 7: Bright Lights That Cast A Shadow** _

Phil Lester wakes up a new man.

_'29 at last,'_ he thinks. ' _I am literally the oldest person in the world.'_

He uploads a video - pre-filmed and already edited - onto his channel straight away, putting in a funny and intriguing title. He was quite happy about his video; in which he talked about his year so far, and his plans for today, even if he has no idea what to think. The video already earns its thousands of views, along with comments and greetings start flooding in.

Phil smiles, and he gets dressed. He doesn't want to wear his contacts today; he wears the black rimmed glasses that he - and a lot more people - love very much. He looks in the mirror, and smiles.

_'A new man.'_ he thinks proudly, and walks out of his room with a wide smile, ready to cease the day. A day where he is important to others, a day in which -

"Morning, Phil." Abi mutters, flipping through channels. Phil looks at Abi curiously.

"What are you planning, Abi?" Phil asks, going straight to the important questions. "Will it one of those film cliches in which you try and forget it's my birthday, and I feel all bad, but you are actually planning to have a pancake party?"

Abi stands up, and Phil realizes there was a gift in her hand the whole time. Phil grins, and Abi shakes her head.

"No cliches, Phil." she says bluntly, smiling. "You know I'm not about that life."

"Fair enough." Phil laughs, before adding, "That pancake party might be worth it, you know."

Abi hands the wrapped box to Phil, rolling her eyes. "Just open your present, spork."

"Hey, no insulting the birthday boy."

"Don't ever say that again, Phil."

When Phil opens the present, he realizes it's a bunch of dog booklets, and some dog toys. Phil looks at Abi, a frown on his face, before he sees Abi's glance travel to her room's door. It's not until then when Phil hears something barking. He looks at Abi with wide, child-like eyes.

"You didn't..." Phil says, trailing off.

"Maybe I did?" Abi prompts, and Phil dashes all the way to Abi's room, flinging it open to see it.

Among the white walls and blood red furniture of Abi's room, was a small pug, lying down on Abi's velvet duvets. It was brown and tan, with a white marking running across its belly. It was currently playing with a tug-a-war toy, but when Phil walked in, its head perking up a little. Phil's eyes widened.

"Abi?!" Phil literally _squeals._

Abi comes bouncing back into the room, a huge smile playing on her face.

"It's a boy, first of all," Abi states, "and he is about ten months old. His mom was a Boston terrier, and his dad is a pug. He was saved from his original owner because he was abused at the age of five months, but now, after some therapy with him, this boy is perfectly fine. He is a calm one, but can get anxious sometimes..."

"He's so tiny." Phil murmurs, reaching his hand out to pet the dog. The dog looks at him, tilting his head, and Phil melts in his spot. He whimpers a little, and Phil frowns, stroking his fur with a smile. The dog eventually softens to Phil's touch, and licks his hand. Phil is startled, but then laughs.

"He's also all yours." Phil's eyes snap towards Abi.

"Dan -" he starts off hesitantly, but Abi cuts him off.

"- is okay with it." Abi says with a smile. "He actually picked the dog. He said he'd be perfect for a family like us."

The words flew out faster than Abi wants them too, and her eyes widen in realization. Phil's grin grow even wider, and he starts to hug Abi, spinning her around in absolute excitement.

"Phil, don't let it get to your head, alright?" Abi mutters, smiling a little. "I only said that because it's your birthday."

"A _family!_ " Phil squeals, twirling her in the air. "We're a family! I knew it! I knew you thought of me as your brother! We are one big family! Or even better - a _phamily!_ And if you want to add your name as well, we can be...a... _phanabily_? A phanabily! One, big _phanabily!_ "

"No."

"Yeah, I know, that kind of sucked."

Abi laughs and goes on her tip toes to kiss Phil's cheek. "I love you, Philly. Happy birthday, you old man."

"Thanks, kid" Phil teases back, and - as Phil picks up his new dog - they both head for the lounge.

As Abi prepared some pancakes, Phil played around with the dog. Abi tells Phil where Dan was - getting a cake, of course - when Phil asks, and says nothing more. Phil is curious, and Abi just brushes it off as nothing.

"What are you going to call him?" she asks, switching topics. "Dan and I agreed you'd get to name him, since he is technically yours."

"First of all, _Striker_ is _ours._ " Phil says proudly, ruffling the dog's head. "Striker is _our_ puppy, and I think that he'll make a great addition to the phanabily that is Dan, Phil, _and Abi._ "

Abi raises an eyebrow, trying not to show any emotion - Phil Lester just changed their brand name so that Abi's name would be included. She knew it wasn't permanent, and was definitely not legal, but _Phil Lester_ \- AmazingPhil, Phil Lester - _had said her name as well,_ and Abi can't help but squeal.

"Striker?" Abi says, instead of thanking him. " _Striker._ "

Phil nods, clueless. "Yes. Striker. Why? I think it is a very good name."

"It's just that...don't you think Dan might... _eat him?"_

Abi covers her eyes dramatically, running all over the lounge - to which Striker happily trotted behind her - and Phil rolls his eyes. Abi is screaming playfully, "It burns! The memory, the thought - why did I bring it up - _it burns!"_

"If that is about the hat fic or whatever it's called -"

"We don't _mention_ the name of the dreaded fic, _Phillip_."

Phil smiles, ruffling Abi's spiky, brown hair. "You are a kid, y'know?"

"And your scolding me like an old man."

"We're never going to let go of that one, are we?"

"As long as you don't name our dog _Striker._ Why can't we use Winston, if you're going to use your name references from PINOF?"

"Because, _Abigail,"_ Phil says formally, grabbing the pancakes from the pan. "the 'fic that shall not be named' is just a fic, aka _fiction._ Calm down, will you? We are naming the dog Striker, and that is that. It suits him." The dog - Striker - licks Phil, and Phil's look says "Told you so." all over it.

"Alright," Abi says, stealing a pancake from Phil. "but you just wait until Dan hears that you've named our dog _Striker._ "

"Please, Dan will think it's the next meme." Phil says with a laugh.

"Dan will _know_ about its origins." Abi pauses, then adds, "He won't even remember the 'Phil Striker' thing. He'll just think 'hamsters', and he'll throw out his llama hat."

"Oh, shut it," Phil winks. "you wish it was you."

Abi's eyes widen, and she's tempted to throw her pancake at Phil. Instead, she just shrugs it off with a weary smile, and pokes at her pancake with her fork and sighs.

"Stop, Phil." she mutters. "Not helping us."

Phil raises an eyebrow, but is cut off before he can ask, by the door. Phil's eyes widen, and the dog perks up, before barking loudly, running down the stairs to see Dan, holding a cake box in his hands, along with a present. He smiles down at the dog, and Phil runs down the stairs just to hug Dan.

"Wow, careful there, old man," Dan smirks. "you might trip and fall."

Phil punches his arm playfully, but he really just wants to hug him as tight as he could.

"I can't believe you wouldn't buy me a hamster," Phil mumbles in Dan's chest, "but you buy me a _dog._ "

Dan blushes. "It was Abi's idea."

Phil looks at Abi, who shakes her head. Phil looks accusingly at Dan, who rolls his eyes, and stares at Abi in disbelief.

"Wow, thanks, Abi. Way to blow the cover." he mumbles, and Abi sticks out her tongue. Phil thinks it's another sarcastic Dan Howell remark, and another snarky retort by Abi.

It's not; Abi _and_ Dan both know it isn't.

Abi says nothing else, but wears a smirk, and walks back into the lounge.

Phil talks to Dan as he helps him unload the stuff. "So how did you convince the landlord to get us a dog? Isn't that breaking our tendency agreement?"

Dan looks at Phil, and then he smiles. "I'll save that surprise for Valentine's Day."

Phil looks a bit awestruck when Dan walks off; Valentine's Day was the day the landlord was coming to visit.

And Abi's birthday.

...

"PHIL?!" Dan yells. "YOU DID NOT NAME OUR DOG STRIKER, DID YOU?!"

Phil giggles like a school girl in his room, Striker on his chest.

* * *

Abi is sitting in her own room, scrolling on her laptop. She had tears in her eyes, but she looked over at her small money jar she kept under her bed, that was filled with tips from people in the restaurant, and continued to scroll.

The words were blurred by her tears:

_"GREAT FLAT AT A LOW PRICE: IN LONDON!"_

_"One bedroom flat in London for a low monthly rent!"_

_"Perfect for single people; one bedroom, one kitchen, one bathroom, one -"_

Abi shuts her laptop quickly, and flops on her pillow, crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	8. I Walk Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abi hates birthdays, and she's had 24 of them. And sometimes, sharing a birthday with Cupid can be quite a hassle; especially when you live with the one and only Dan Howell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> Happy Lonely Hearts Day, my dear single people. We have each other. And buckets of ice cream.

_**Chapter 8: I Walk Alone** _

Abi  _hates_ birthdays, and she has had  _twenty four_ of them.

She also hates that she has to share her birthday with Cupid, as her birthday was the same day as Valentine's Day. Now while she knew that there were advantages - "Oh, at least people will remember it!" - she didn't like it much; her birthday was filled with romance and kisses, which was everything Abi was against.

But, alas, when you are part of a  _phanabily -_ they were still trying to put Striker in there somewhere - birthdays are extremely hard to forget.

...

"Phil, shut up."

Abi enters the lounge with messy hair, that was tied up in a bun. She didn't feel like putting on her contacts, so she decided to wear her black rimmed glasses. While Striker quietly walks around her, licking her legs, Phil double flips a pancake.

"I can't shut up," Phil kisses Abi's cheek, "because it's your twenty fourth birthday!"

Even if Abi hates birthdays - Phil definitely knew that - this birthday was one she was dreading for quite a while. To be exact, she was dreading this since about two weeks ago. Although she couldn't say anything to Phil; she had wanted to talk to Dan first.

"Um, is Dan up?" Abi tries to act discreet, but accent rises another octave, and Phil smirks, sliding the pancake onto a plate that already had a pancake on it, and drenching it in maple syrup. He places a berry on it, and hands it to Abi, who walks into the kitchen without hitting her head.

"Waiting for your lovebird? Am I not good enough?" Phil teases, and Abi punches his arm lightly.

" _Phiiiiiiillll..._ " Abi moans, and Phil just laughs, joining Abi as she heads to the couch. Phil takes a fork and digs it into his own pancake, and eats it. Striker stands up on his back legs, panting, and trying to get his own bite. Abi smiles, and grabs a bag of treats on the table beside her, and throws it, leaving Striker to dash all the way to get it.

"We're probably going to get kicked out," Abi says after a while. "if the landlord finds out that we have a dog trotting around here."

"Don't worry," Phil's eyes flicker in excitement. "Dan said that he has a surprise for us anyway, and he promised that we wouldn't get kicked out. To be honest, I believe him; he said that it's against our tendency agreement to get any pets, especially hamsters."

Phil puts another mouthful of pancakes in his mouth. "And at least I have a dog named Striker."

Abi moans. "I will throw up on you."

They finish watching their anime, and Dan wakes up. Dan and Abi exchange a glance, and Dan just smiles widely.

"Morning, Abi!" Dan hugs her tightly, literally dragging her up. "Happy Birthday!"

Abi will admit that she was pretty confused; they weren't on the best terms, or at least, they weren't on best terms ever since Dan had told her about his 'scarring' incident. But it has seemed as if Dan had let go of all those grudges and turned back into his regular self.

Unless he was hiding something, of course.

"You're quite peppy today, Howell." Abi says, faking a smile. "And thank you."

"There's pancakes on the table!" Phil winks. "But don't eat a lot, Dan; we have a busy day ahead of us."

Abi looks at him incredulously, looking intrigued, but ignores it, figuring it was some surprise that Dan and Phil had planned. Dan smiles, and he throws three tickets onto Abi's lap. Abi looks at it with some sort of childlike wonder, and Dan grins.

"First of all, we are taking you to see  _Mamma Mia_  at a drive-in movie tonight!" Abi grins;  _Mamma Mia_ had always been her favorite musical of all time, and she still stands by the fact that Meryl Streep was one of the best actresses ever.

"Oh my god, that is awesome!" Abi squeals, hugging Dan again. "Thank you!"

"That's tonight though," Phil reminds Abi, "for now, put Striker on a leash; we are taking you out to your favorite place in the whole entire world!"

Abi grins. "The London Eye?"

Phil grins. "The London Eye."

* * *

" _Do you remember the time,_ " Abi sings softly. " _when you kissed me on the Manchester Eye?_ "

"Oh be quiet, Abi." Dan says as they show their tickets to the guy. "I can't believe you are singing a Phan song."

"Okay, one," Abi smirks, "I ship Phan as much as the next girl. And two, it is a very catchy song. The singer is very good, and you should be proud you have fans that will write you songs about your supposed Phan moments. Besides, you  _did_ kiss him on the Manchester Eye, didn't you? Phil even said it in the Val -"

"We don't speak of the dreaded video, Abi." Dan complains.

Phil nods, holding tightly on Striker's leash. "It was an April Fools joke!"

"More like April  _Phools_ with a 'p' and an 'h'." Abi says, and Phil just rolls his eyes.

Before Phil could hand in his ticket, Abi swears she sees Phil smirk as he accidentally drops his ticket.

"Shit!" Dan hisses, trying to grab Phil's ticket.

"Do something!" Abi says at Phil, a tad frustrated. But Phil does nothing as he just watches the ticket fly off into the distance. He looks apologetically at Dan and Abi, and then steps out of the line with a slight frown on his face.

"Sorry, guys." Phil says, biting his lip. "Seems like my ticket has flown off."

"Well, we'll buy you another one." Abi is about to step out of line, but Phil's voice stops her.

"Don't!" Everyone looks at him, and Phil blushes. "I-I'll just wait for you."

"But Phi -"

" _Abi,"_ Phil stresses her name out. "it's fine. I'll wait. You guys shouldn't take too long, anyway. And maybe I will just keep Striker company."

Dan is about to protest, but Abi tells him not to; there is no point arguing with Phil Lester.

As the two brunettes walk onto their little booth, Phil grabs Abi's shoulder and whispers in her ear, "Here's your  _actual_ birthday present, if you know what I mean. Use it wisely, and do everything you'll probably regret tomorrow."

Abi's eyes widen, but she is just pulled into the booth by Dan, wearing his grey "emo Pikachu" sweater. The last thing Abi sees is Phil's playful smirk, before she is lifted up in the bright, blue sky, whisked away with the one boy she wouldn't want to be with in an enclosed place.

The few seconds were a bit awkward, before Dan spoke up.

"Phil is hilarious, huh?" Dan chuckles, scratching the back of his neck. Abi blushes.

"Yeah, he is." she mumbles, and Dan nods.

Abi fidgets in her seat before she smiles. "Did you and Phil  _actually_ kiss on the Manchester Eye -"

"Shut up, Abi!" Dan laughs, "I will push you off the London Eye."

Abi giggles, and Dan just leans back in his seat, slowly putting his arm around Abi - who seemingly doesn't want to blush any more than she is already - and admiring the view from all the way up, swearing he saw the glimpse of a flash coming from a boy with a black fringe. He rolls his eyes.

"Look, Dan, about your scar -"

"Abi, please, I don't want to talk about it." Dan pleads, looking at Abi with wide eyes. "I told you my story, and I would appreciate if you just leave it at that."

"It's just that you sounded so torn up about it," Abi says, "and on Phil's birthday, we seemed to hate each other. I don't hate you, Dan, and I hope you feel the same way about me. I hate being mad at you, because you are a stubborn twat."

The last part was a joke, and Dan grins. "Alright. I'm sorry. It's just today I have something special for you, and I don't want to ruin it with my crappy behaviour that I have been presented throughout the week. I just don't want you to think that just because it's your birthday, that I've decided to let go of all grudges. "

Dan pauses, before adding, "I just...want to fix things."

They reach the peak, and the ferris wheel stops to let people down.

Dan wants to do it now, but he decides to wait; this  _was_ Phil's present, after all. Not his.

Abi wants to tell him now and get it over with, but Dan seemed so happy - it wasn't in her place to ruin it.

* * *

Phil takes Striker on another walk near the end of Mamma Mia, and Dan isn't ready to give his present. Not yet.

They rent a car for Abi's birthday, and they go see Mamma Mia, as promised. They are at the part where Meryl Streep is singing 'Slipping Through My Fingers', and Dan's hand was brushing against Abi's in the almost empty popcorn bucket.

Abi felt anxious. "I-I can get more popcorn. I mean, if you want me to. In that case, I'll stay and wait for Phil. But I can always go. Do you like butter with that popcorn, well, counting that I am still getting it -"

"Relax, Abi." Dan whispers. "More of your anxious rants, and you might explode."

Abi giggles nervously. "Alright. I-I just...I'm just excited for your surprise, I guess."

"That's not it," Dan reads right through her, and Abi hates it. "you have been anxious this whole movie. Is there something you want to tell me?"

"We say it at the same time, Howell?" Abi whispers.

She hopes that Dan's surprise was just as terrible as hers. She hates to do this, but she has no choice - it's been too long, and she has been nothing but a burden they had to take care of. She wanted this to be over as soon as she could. She was actually hoping that they'd  _hate her_ for what she was about to say; it would make things more easier.

"A-Alright." Dan mumbles. Abi has never heard Dan stutter; it must be serious.

"1," Abi counts them in. "2...3!"

"I bought us a house." Dan exclaims.

"I'm moving out of the flat." Abi says at the same time, seeming louder than she thinks she is as the tears beginning to run down her cheeks.

They swear they interrupted the movie, but both of them are as shellshocked as the other. Phil stands away from the car, about to drop Striker's leash.

"Well that was a lot in a Meryl Streep movie, was it, Striker?" Phil whispers. Striker just whines.

"Y-You b-bought us a h-house?" Abi couldn't even say the last word without crying. Dan looked as if he was about to tear up as well.

"I-I did." Dan stammers. "I-I already told the landlord. It's here, in London. That's the only reason I decided that a dog was okay. I-It was supposed to be a teaser about w-what your birthday present was, A-Abi. I-I didn't..."

Dan tries to recollect himself. It doesn't work, and Abi is on the verge of bursting to sobs.

"T-That's amazing." Abi says quietly. "N-No pun intended."

"I-It is."

Silence fills the car, before Dan could finally say it.

"B-But there is no point, is there?" He laughs, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes, wiping the tears before they could fall. "It's almost ironic. I guess you love me, because you know how much I love irony."

"D-Dan -" Dan cuts her off.

"You're moving out!" he says between chuckles. "I am stupid. I'm so  _fucking_ stupid."

"Dan, that's not true -"

"But it is!" Dan's faked humour is cut off by a snarl. "This wasn't enough.  _I_ was enough for you to stay, and now you are moving."

"Dan, please, don't make this harder for me than it already is -"

Dan pulls her shoulders towards her, and brings her towards him, reeling her into a kiss.

Abi's eyes are wide open - she could see Phil's jaw drop from all the way here - and Dan's lips are soft. She had never kissed a boy for a long while, and she never knew that it would be Dan out of all the boys she could think of.

Dan is the first to pull back, and his eyes are glazed with tears and wider than the sun. Abi is grasping for words.

"D-Dan...I-I...b-but -"

Abi wishes that she could say something, but all the words seemed to have disappeared. Dan looks like a different person to her as he opens the car door and bolts off, dashing past Phil and running faster than he has ever ran in his life.

People around Abi start to clap, but Abi feels as if they were clapping because of the "show" they pulled off. The last five minutes were surreal, and she wants to take them, back more than anything in the whole world.

But Phil is clapping for her. "Jesus Christ, you guys were better than Meryl Streep."

"Phil," Abi wails between sobs, as Striker climbs onto her lap. The credits roll on, and Phil sits beside her. "I'm so fucking screwed"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	9. And Smile Even Though You're Sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, Phil never preferred boxes lining the walls to be a good decoration style; ironically, it could scratch more than the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

**_Chapter 9: And Smile Even Though You're Sad_ **

It had been two weeks since Abi's birthday, and things were going downhill.

Dan and Phil had told their subscribers they were moving to a new house in London, and most of them - to Abi's disappointment - were quite excited. The Phan shippers were certainly buzzing about it -  _"Omigod Phan is real they're moving in together icantevenhalpmeyoutubesenpais!" -_ and it seemed as if everyone  _but_ Abi were happy about the next step the two British boys were about to take.

But as Dan is doing a live show and Abi slips into her room, throwing her earbuds on to listen to Dan's show, she can't help but sneak a peek at the chat and read a few of the comments in the "shitstorm" happening off the live show.

**_Emily Saran_ **

_"Um, not to be invasive, but how about your roomie? Is she coming along?"_

**_Phan4Eva_ **

_"+Emily Saran I honestly don't care if she is coming alone. More Phan proof, am I right?"_

**_Dilcakes39_ **

_"+Phan4Eva i think you are absolutely right dan and phil deserve better than some girl who is too much of a pussy to show her face to the camera._

**_Gels0_-_ **

_"+Dilcakes39 i think u r wrong. roomie, to me, is an intriguing mystery. if she would prefer to stay secret, i think we should respect that. i would rather see what Dan has to say about it. is your roommate coming along? and why are your eyes so puffy? i dunno i just noticed._

_**3.14159265359** _

_"+Gels0_- omigod i can see what you're saying.. dan have you been crying? is it because of roomie leaving? is she leaving?_

**_phangirlinginacorner_ **

_"WTF WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?! I SO CONFUSED. "_

**_endtheroomie_ **

_"OMIGOD DAN I LUV U SO MUCH PLS MARRY ME ASAP I DONT CARE ABOUT PHIL OR YOUR STUPID ROOMIE I JUST WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU I WANNA BE YOUR ROOMIE BECAUSE ID PROBABLY BE BETTER THAN THE ROOMIE TODAY PLS TELL ME WHERE U LIVE OR I WILL DO IT MASELF LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL"_

Abi watches as Dan looks down, as if scrolling through the screen. He then smiles awkwardly.

"Are my eyes puffy?" Dan chuckled, biting his knuckle nervously. "I-I honestly didn't notice. I think I may be coming down with something, t-b-h." he says, biting his lip as he pronounces each letter loudly.

People are shouting in the comments; _"Liar! What a liar."_  explodes on the chat.  _"He's crying. Did Phil break his heart?"_  says another one.  _"But...how about roomie?"_

"Um, roomie has found her own flat." Dan states flatly. "It was the best three-or-so years of our lives, living together, but sometimes, things just don't go to plan..."

He trails off here, looking away from the camera. Abi knows nobody knows where or what he was looking at, but she did; he was looking in the direction of her room, and not anywhere else. She knows that he was trying not to make it too obvious, but it wasn't.

He shakes his head, and blinks. "Sorry, I was feeling a little nostalgic there, haven't I? I do that all the time, honestly." Abi watches as he smoothly runs into another subkectm Speaking of which, do you guys ever flashback to your past? For me, it is pretty common. Actually, the day before, I was -"

Abi closes her laptop right away, tears streaming down her face. She doesn't want to watch the live show anymore, so, instead, she cries into her pillow for who knows how long. She continues this until she hears the door to their flat close, and the door to her room open.

She looks over to the door and sees Phil, standing at the doorway, with Striker in his arms.

"Hey guys." she mumbles. Phil tries his best to smile, and Striker just trots into the room, letting Abi pick him up. He squeaks a little, and Abi smiles, wiping the tears from her eyes. Striker licks her face, and Phil crawls onto Abi's bed.

"You watched the live show?" Phil knows she did, but the statement is asked like a question.

Abi nods silently. "I did. The people were crazy, huh?"

"Did you see the house?" Phil whispers, and Abi nods.

"Yeah, Dan sent me some pictures. I..." She trails off, and Phil seems as if he was reading her mind.

"You didn't want to go see it for real?"

"No, not really." Abi finally caves in, and Phil rubs her shoulder.

"I honestly don't know what to say, you know?" Phil says after a while. "I mean, I always try to help you and Dan, but it seems as if you guys are missing me as well. As much as I love you and your decisions, Abi, I just...I feel like you're running away from your problems."

"What do you mean?" she asks nervously. "I-I'm not running away from anything. Not physically, not mentally, I'm just simply moving on, in a way that requires no running whatsoever, if you know what I mean, which I know you know what I mean, wow did I say 'know' too many times, didn't I -"

Phil cocks an eyebrow at Abi, who then buries her face into her hands.

"Okay, I'll admit, I am a bit anxious." she says quietly.

"And you admit it, I'm right." Phil says. "I hate to see you run again. You're always running, and I don't understand why you run."

"I don't run from things, Phil," Abi snaps. "I just...avoid it."

"By what," Phil's voice begins to rise. " _procrastinating_ when you should be solving your problem, until it comes back again? Why are you so hellbent on leaving us, Abi? I don't understand,  _I want to understand!"_

"Look, Phil," Abi cuts him off with a sob. "I've been running away all my life from the things I can't handle. I ran away when my dad..."

Abi can't finish. Phil sighs.

"What ever happened to your dad, anyway, Abi?" Phil asks quietly. "I know you hate to talk about it, but I think I can help you -"

"You can't help me!" Abi screams, shooting up. "I'm fucking broken, so I'm moving out! Now you can either help me pack my stuff, or  _leave!"_

Striker whimpers, hopping off the bed and running off. Tears stream down Abi's face, and Phil backs away slowly, before silently walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. Abi just sighs, flopping back down on the bed in tears once again.

* * *

Apparently, Dan had left to arrange the final details with the people selling him the house. He had sent Abi photos, but Abi had deleted every single one. She got a phone call later on, and she realized it was from the landlord who was helping her with her new flat.

It was a nice flat, Abi will say the least. It was a one bedroom flat, with a kitchen, a lounge, two bathrooms and a small room, where she'd probably set up as an office. It reminded Abi so much of their flat at the moment, which was mainly why she bought it. It was at a surprisingly good price as well - she believed she got lucky.

The door opens, cutting her phone call short. She hangs up, and sees that it's Dan, who walks in with a hoodie on his face.

"Where'd you go?" Abi asks quietly, holding a mug of coffee. Dan just shrugs.

"I went to the house." He says the last word with so much venom, it hurts Abi like a sting to the heart. Dan heads to his room, and Abi follows, trying not to burst in flames, or break down in tears in front of him.

"Stop following me." Dan mutters.

"We need to talk, Dan, I'm worried about you." she says back. "I watched your live show, but then you sent me pictures of the house as if nothing happened. I just want to know how you feel about all of this, Dan, I just -"

"I feel  _nothing,_ Abi!" Dan yells at her, surprising her. He continues his rant.

"I feel nothing! I feel  _empty!_ Here I was, thinking that this,  _all of this,_ was good enough, and I  _fucking loved you._ I thought that was good enough for you, but it isn't, and I swear to all heavens above, I just want  _you_ to tell me  _why?!_ Why are you leaving me, Abi?!"

"I'm leaving because I feel the same way, Dan!" Abi's words are tumbling out of her mouth faster than she can speak. "I'm leaving because I am just... _infecting_ you with who I am! I am  _poison,_ Dan, someone you should've never picked up in the first place!"

"Take it back!" Dan yells, tearing up as he stumbles onto his piano. He banged against the keys, nearly breaking another one.  _"Please,_ take it back."

"I can't because it's  _true!"_ Abi cries.

They sit in silence before Abi can't even look at Dan anymore.

"Let me go, Dan." she whispers now. "I...I'm just another phangirl, who got a lucky break."

Abi smile sadly at the floor. "There were so many people there, Dan, in the underground on that December night. I saw a girl take a picture, and I saw people whispering 'danisnotonfire', and people squealing. I wasn't the only fan, I just happened to be someone you pitied."

"I never pitied you, Abi." Dan says quietly. "I told Phil this, and I'll tell you;  _I thought you were a game changer."_

Abi can't find words anymore, so she decides to stand up.

"Leave, Dan," - She can't even muster the courage to say this without tears. "or -"

She breaks down in tears, and Dan can't even handle it anymore. He doesn't want Abi to finish - he doesn't want what they have to  _end._

So he does what she asks; he leaves.

He goes to his room, gets a bag, packs his charger and laptop, and a few pounds. He is out the door, hastily giving Phil the words of "I'll just be out for the night," and "I am going to check on the house, I will be back tomorrow morning."

But he wasn't.

Phil texted him, but he never came back. Abi had started packing, placing boxes on the side of her naked bedroom wall. There were no longer any polaroids of Dan and Phil and herself, but there were just empty, white walls.

Phil had started packing as well, walls now lined with cardboard boxes filled with their stuff. But Dan's room had just remained untouched, as if no one had even stepped in there in the longest while.

Phil asked their friends, family, even their neighbours, if they had seen Dan.

But Dan...he was just  _gone._

* * *

It had been three days. Phil was pacing the lounge, questioning silently to himself if he should call the police, or if he should just go look for him on his own. He had a vague recollection of what Abi and Dan had exchanged three nights ago, but all he knew was that they were screaming and it had just...stopped.

"Abi!" Phil yells, making his decision. "I'm going out to find Dan."

He keeps it short and blunt. Striker whines, as if he knew this was a bad idea, but Phil just shakes his head, kneeling down to rub his fur.

"I know, buddy, but I have to." Phil says quietly.

The reaction was something Abi wasn't quite expecting. He didn't know if this was a selfish move on her, or just a peace treaty. But when he saw her, with her bedhead and her puffy eyes, he couldn't help but feel something would happen. Something that would change everything.

"Phil?" Abi whimpers quietly. "Can...can you please sit down with me? I want to talk about my dad."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	10. Good Riddance (And Good Coffee)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a searing pain to hear his voice. Especially in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_**Chapter 10: Good Riddance (And Good Coffee)** _

"You want to talk about your dad?" Phil asks in utter shock. Abi nods, sitting down on the chair. Her eyes were puffy, and her hair was a mess. She has her glasses on, which he hardly ever sees; like him, Abi wore contacts, but hardly wore her dark red glasses.

"Why?" Phil blurts out.

Abi raises an eyebrow, and Phil blushes, sitting down with Striker in his lap. "I mean, I'm happy, but I'm kind of confused. What made you want to talk about your dad? I know you are really secretive about your past...I don't want you to do something you'll regret."

Abi shakes her head, looking away. "I want to tell you, Phil. You need to know. You need to know so you can let me go."

"Is that what it's about?" Phil's voice rises. Abi never sees Phil angry. "Abi, I don't need to know about your past to not feel terrible that you're leaving. I'm going to miss you, but I don't think you'll..."

His face scrunches up, biting his lip as if he were determining something.

After a moment of silence, he seemed to make up his mind.

"After what happened, I don't want you to leave. If you don't want me to feel like I'll miss you, fine, I won't. But, Abi, Dan will be miserable. He loves you; whether it be platonic or romantically, and if you are going to leave just like that," He snaps his fingers. "I don't know how he'd manage."

Abi sighs. "Fine. Don't let me go. I want to tell you so...so I at least leave you with the truth."

Phil raises an eyebrow, and Striker whines; he's hungry.

He lets Striker walk to his food bowl, and as he is munching on food, he looks at Abi with sad eyes.

"If it makes you feel better, I guess you can tell me. I won't promise you that I will ever let you go, but I promise I'll accept your story. No matter what it is."

Abi smiles sadly. "Alright."

She takes a breath.

"So it started in -"

Her phone suddenly buzzes beside her. Phil frowns, and Abi does as well. She wanted to ignore it, but Phil had different plans; he grabs the phone and looks at the screen. His eyes widen, and they flicker across the screen.

"What?" Abi is suddenly curious, and she scoots closer to him, pushing her glasses up.

"I-It's...oh my god." Phil mumbles.

"What is it?"

"I-It's... _Dan._ "

Abi feels as if the air was knocked out of her.

It was Dan.  _Her_ Dan. He was okay, and he was safe.

But she didn't know where he was.

She struggles to find the words to speak, but Phil just shakes his head, handing Abi the phone. She grabs it, and shakily opens it. Tears stain her glasses - though she is trying not to show it - and she reads the text out loud to Phil.

_3:08 pm_

_from: Dan-Bear xx_

_i know you might not care, but i'm at starbucks. you know which one. please come as soon as you can. i want to talk to you._

Two more texts popped up when she finished.

_3:09 pm_

_from: Dan-Bear xx_

_and i love you._

_3:09 pm_

_from: Dan-Bear xx_

_and i'm sorry for that._

It's short and vague. Nothing at all what Abi had expected. Her mind had wandered to dangerous places, so she was glad it wasn't a bad text. She was glad he was safe. But she was more confused than she was happy.

"He's at Starbucks?" Phil chuckles. "Typical Dan."

Striker nuzzles against Phil's foot, and Phil picks him up, cradling him. He whimpers softly, and closes his eyes, sleeping. Abi shakes her head, and she puts the phone back on the couch. Phil looks mildly concerned.

"So you're going to get him." Abi says quietly. It's not a question.

"He texted you!" Phil retorts.

"Yeah, I'm sure he texted you the same thing."

"No he didn't, you can even check."

Phil pulls out his phone, and, to Abi's disappointment, there was no text from Dan.

Abi sighs. "I'm not going."

"You have to go, Abi." Phil says. "He is the one that texted you, and he probably wants to talk to you. I'm his best friend; he'll tell me when he wants to. But he loves you in a romantic way. He loves me platonically. It's more important that you go. I have to take care of Striker anyway."

"I'll take care of Striker, just please don't make me go." Abi hates to admit it, but she is really fulfilling the nickname 'kid'.

"Abi, please." Phil whines. "I know you are mad, but -"

"You can't make me!" Abi screams, startling Striker, and making him jump out of Phil's lap, and onto his bed. Abi regrets it now; she knew that Striker was abused before becoming part of their family, so loud noises were a bad idea.

Phil seems upset at her as well.

"I'm sorry." she squeaks.

"It's okay."

"No it's not."

"It is, I swear."

"It will be if you don't make me go." Abi ends ups saying, and Phil sighs.

"Abi, just go. I think it would be good for Dan. If you're mad at him, sing 'Good Riddance' and leave. At least put him out of his misery. Seem him for one last time if you want, and at least talk it out like adults. You and I know Dan the most; he likes closure, whether it ends well or not."

Abi still looked hesitant. Phil could tell.

"He said it himself, Abi. He loves you. And you do too. Don't break his heart. Not yet."

Phil thinks he won that one, because Abi just quietly nods, gets up, and walks out. Phil doesn't care about a jacket; it's not that cold out. But she looked like shit; he'll admit that. He didn't have much courage to say that to her.

When the door shuts, Phil walks over to Striker to pat his head. He flinches, but softens into Phil's touch.

"Sorry 'bout that, buddy." Phil whispers, his Northern accent showing a bit. "Dan and Abi were always conflicting people."

* * *

"Yes, I'm sure." Abi says into her phone, walking on the wet sidewalk. "Yes, I know it's last minute. But I changed my mind. I'm really sorry, but I think I need to embark on this  _with them._  I'm not ready to go on my own."

A few more mumbles, and she stops in front of the Starbucks. Her eyes widen; Dan's looking at her at the window. She closes her eyes.

"I'm sorry again for the inconvenience." Abi whispers. "I'll talk again to you soon."

She hangs up, and walks into the warm environment. She orders a caramel macchiato, and sits down in the small booth where Dan is at. They are facing each other, but both their heads are down, as if they were ashamed of showing their faces to each other.

After awkward sips of coffee, Dan finally lifted his face. Abi took a peek.

His eyes were dead. The caramel swirls that were once there were gone. He looked lifeless. He had the same grey hoodie he left with; the 'emo Pikachu' sweater. There were rings of purple around his eyes, and his hobbit hair peeked out of the hood of his jumper.

"Who were you talking to?" Dan's voice was scratchy and sounded unused.

Abi sips her drink. "Landlord."

Dan nods, and sips his drink as well.

"Caramel macchiato?"

Dan nods silently.

"Me too." Abi says, and then they sit in an uncomfortable silence. The room felt heated, as if tension was literally rising.

"You're in your pyjamas."

"I came as soon as you texted." Abi hated to lie to Dan, but, to be fair, it was a white lie. It wasn't too far from the truth.

"Why did you text me?" Abi finally asks, and Dan sucks in a breath, taking in the caramel smell of his drink.

"You're the only one I thought of."

"Not even Phil?"

"I needed closure. And I am not fighting with Phil. I'm fighting with you."

"Yeah, no shit." Abi tries her hardest to keep her anger hidden, but it shows through her voice. Dan looks sad when she says that, closing his eyes as if he were trying to keep himself from getting frustrated at her.

"Please, Abi," he says after a while. "I just want to talk."

"About what, Dan?" Abi snaps. "You left for three days, and Phil was worried sick. He was going to call the police today, and your mom was crying when I talked to her. Your friends are worried about you, and -"

"And how about you?" Dan retorts. Abi is taken back. "Everyone cares, Abi, but do  _you_ care? Is this some sort of thing when you try and convince me to come back for everyone who loves me. But I love  _you._ And I've loved you since your locket got tangled in the  _fucking train tracks._ "

He takes a breath, calming himself down. "Do you even care if I leave? You're going anyway."

Abi is crying. Dan leans back in his chair, head back against the cushions, laughing bitterly.

"Might as well get it over with, Abi!" he chuckles darkly. "Tell me you don't care! You're the only one who is keeping this going! So tell me,  _Abigail_ , that you are going to leave in a week, and you never loved me. Then I promise that I'll never speak to you again, and I'll  _let you go._ "

Abi's in hysterics. She open her mouth, but shuts it again; she can't handle saying that she didn't love him. She wasn't that bad of a liar.

"I fucking love you, Howell."

" _Dammit, Woods!_ " Dan screams, loud enough for the whole Starbucks to hear him. He shoots up, hitting his knee under the table. His macchiato spilled, dripping onto the ground. Abi was crying harder than she had ever.

" _You always ruin everything!_ " Dan cries. "It's not fair! I'm letting you go, but you love me, and that's all I wanted! Make it easier for yourself and  _me,_ and  _stopping loving me!_ I am not worth it, and you're leaving anyway, so take it back! Say you  _fucking hate me,_ because leaving us, " He wipes his tears angrily. "because leaving  _me_ is nearly the equivalent of hating me!"

"You don't mean that!" Abi's voice raises up. " _Tell me you don't mean it!"_

The employees consider kicking them out, but they recognize Dan. They don't dare say a word, but they make the girl filming the whole thing turn off her camera. The girl agrees, and deletes the video as soon as possible. Some people leave because of the disruption.

"If you won't say it, then by all means, let me say it!" Dan yells. Abi shakes her head, but Dan is lost in his anger.

"I hate you, Abigail Woods." Dan grits out angrily through his teeth. "I hate everything you do to me, and I hate how you make me feel. You make me love you, but you make me look like a  _fucking_ monster. I hate that  _I love you!"_

Abi can't hear Dan anymore. She heard her dad, screaming insults at her, beating her so hard.

Dan heaves a breath, and then sees the distraught in her eyes. He failed. He was supposed to make amends, but he failed. And now she was crying.

"A-Abi," he croaks, leaning forward to stoke her head. Abi screams, and pulls back, flinching.

"Don't hurt me!" she screams. "Please!  _Enough!"_

It finally clicks. Dan realized what mistake he had made.

"A-Abi...p-p-please don't tell me someone h-hurt -"

Abi can't take it anymore.

"I hope you have the time of your life, Howell."

She runs out of the Starbucks, spilling her drink on the table. Dan runs after her, into the rain.

"Abi, I'm sorry, please!" Dan yells, losing her to the rain.

Abi runs, the rain blocking her view. She didn't even notice she was on the road before she saw headlights and heard the loudest horn that ever blared in her ears.

"ABI!"

Abi felt numb. Something collided into her side, and she heard screeches and the cracks of her bones. She winces at the pain; it was unbearable. She thinks she let out a screech of pain, but her pounding head was blocking the sound. She heard the slurs of the driver, and the rain surrounded her. She was on the ground. She could feel the wet pavement, and someone leaning over her.

"Abi, Abi, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." The voice repeated that, and she could hear sirens.

She placed a shaky hand on her chest, and looked at her hand.

It was wet, sticky, and  _red._

Blood.

Her head throbs, as her eyes flutter close, the world dimming out of view.

Blackness.

The last thing she heard was a familiar voice, heavy with sobs.

_"I take it back, Abigail. I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone catch that Green Day reference?
> 
> Reviews are love *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	11. For All The Ghosts That Will Never Ever Catch Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Winnie the Pooh' was always Abi's favorite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This is my first Phandom story on AO3, which I am very excited for. I mean, seriously.
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go under the same name.

_**Chapter 11: For All The Ghosts That'll Never Ever Catch Me** _

Phil paces the floor, Striker trotting behind him. Abi has been out for hours, and he hasn't gotten a call from her or Dan. He was determining whether he should wait it out - Dan was always one for long confrontations anyway - or if he should try and see what they're up to.

After a long battle with his conscious, he decided against going, and, instead, re-watches some _Friends_ episodes to cheer him up. Striker settles himself at Phil's feet, as Phil munches on some cereal he had prepared half an hour ago.

Halfway through a joke that Chandler cracked at Ross, his phone rings. Phil perks up out of his daze, and quickly picks it up.

He manages to sneak a peek at the caller ID, and, to his surprise, it's Dan.

"Dan?" Phil says.

"Phil?" Dan's voice is muffled by sirens and people's screams. " _Phil._ Oh my goodness, I can't believe it's you. You picked up. Jesus Christ, Phil, something terrible happened, and I need you right now, as cheesy as it sounds, because I can't handle this on my own -"

Phil stands up, already beginning to dash to his room and change out of his PJ's. He puts the phone on speaker.

"Dan! First of all, what the hell, you have been missing for _three days,_ and Abi and I were worried sick! Where were you? Why didn't you pick up when I called you countless times? The fans are worried; you haven't tweeted anything for days -"

"Look, Phil, I promise I'll explain everything, just please get down here as soon as you can. Just ask Louise if she can come over or something; she knows where the spare keys are, and she could bring Darcy if she wants to -"

"Okay, Dan, you need to stop panicking." Phil says as he slips on his t-shirt. "What's happening? Where are you? I can barely here over the sirens. And, just out of curiosity, tell me exactly _why_ I can even hear sirens in the first place."

"That's the thing, Phil," Dan sobs loudly. "It's _Abi._ "

Phil feels as if he skipped a breath.

_'Surely it can't be bad,'_ Phil thinks worryingly to himself. _'Maybe she's taking selfies with the hot police guys to make Dan jealous? Nothing happened to Abi. Oh my god, what if something did happen to her, and I wasn't there? But it can't be bad...'_

The panicked dialogue in his head can barely come out, and he ends up sputtering, "A-Abi? She's with you."

Phil mentally slaps himself; of course she was with him. Why is he such an idiot?

"I-I know," Dan says shakily. "We were t-talking, a-and then -"

"Dan, just calm down, you're making me stressed and I am not even there yet."

"Please call Louise and meet me at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital ***** now, alright?"

"Why do I need to call Louise?"

"Striker, remember?"

Phil looks over at Striker, who tilts his head, as if he was curious to know what was going on. Phil sighs, slipping on his socks - they're mismatched; who cares?

"Alright, I will be there as soon as Louise comes."

"...okay."

The phone hangs up, and Phil is forced to sit on the couch and call Louise.

* * *

"Thank you so much for coming, Lou," Phil says in a rush, kissing her on the cheek. She smiles, and Darcy hugs Phil. Louise ushers her off to the lounge, and, as Phil slips on his space jacket, Louise looks at him worryingly.

"Any time, Phil, but what is the rush?" she asks. "You were a mess on the phone."

"Apparently, something happened between Abi and Dan, and they were talking, and I don't even know the rest of the story because Dan won't even tell me, and it's been half an hour, and he's at the hospital for some reason that I still don't know of, and - "

"Phil, you're hyperventilating, calm down." Louise says, and Phil takes a few breaths.

"I just need to go. There's food in the cupboard for Striker; he has to eat in about an hour. Please stay out of the bedrooms, since there are boxes, but that message is primarily for Darcy. And feel free to order a pizza and watch a movie or something, 'right?"

"We'll be fine," Louise reassures, rushing him out of the flat. "Just please make sure she's alright, okay?"

Phil smiles wearily at Louise. "Alright. Thanks again, Louise!"

He dashes out of the flat, scrambling to get his phone and call Dan. He gets no response, and he doesn't care; he tries calling Abi, and when she doesn't respond, he begins to get a little worried.

It's raining when it gets out, and it's a bit dark. He watches as a taxi rolls beside him, and he raises his hand. The taxi pulls over, and Phil climbs in, already wet.

"Where to, bud?" The driver asks.

"Queen Elizabeth Hospital. ***** " Phil replies hastily. "And please make this quick."

The driver nods, and, in the middle of their journey through loud horns and traffic, the guy looks at Phil through the rear view mirror and smiles sadly.

"Whatever the problem is, sir, you'll be okay." He hesitates, before smiling and adding, "Oh, and can I have an autograph in exchange for a free drive? My daughter watches your videos; AmazingPhil, yeah?"

"Yeah," Phil mumbles, hardly paying attention as he scribbles his signature onto a tissue the driver hands him. "Though I'm not sure I feel so amazing right now."

* * *

He enters the hospital, and hates it immediately. He always felt uneasy when walking into hospitals, and this time it was no different; the people who were trying not to cry, the people reassuring others with whispers, or the typing of the receptionist who didn't want to be there - they always made him miserable.

As much as he didn't want to, he goes to the receptionist.

"Um, I'm here for Abigail Woods?" he asks timidly. "Admitted today, actually."

The women's expression didn't change when she looked at his cheeks, that were dried with tears.

"Name?"

"Phillip Lester."

"What relationship do you have with Abigail Woods?"

"I'm her best friend, m'am."

She shuffles papers. "I'm sorry, sir, but the man who admitted Abigail in had requested only family be allowed in. You can sit here and wait."

Phil's eyes widen, and all of the sudden, he is done with waiting.

"Look, miss, the man who admitted Abigail was Dan Howell, correct?"

"...yes."

"Well that man was the one who called me." Phil says, quite annoyed. "He told me to come as soon as I could."

"She was admitted quite some time ago; you're late, unless you consider 'as soon as I can' with two or three hours."

Phil just about had it with the receptionists snarky attitude.

"Listen, _lady,_ you let me in right now, or I will happily storm right past you and find her, even if I have to tear down doors to do so. I suggest you tell me where her room is, or at least call Dan Howell, because the attitude your are showing me doesn't belong in a place that is responsible for the life of humanity, _especially_ if you aren't acting very humane right now. So, I ask you again, _where is Abigail Woods?_ "

His rant ends, and, admittingly, he's proud of it. The women looks baffled, and, for a minute, Phil is afraid that she'll kick him out, or call security.

"...Abigail Woods is in Room 32B; go straight, take a left, and it should be the room on the right."

He sighs in relief.

"Thank you." he squeaks.

The women raises an eyebrow, and Phil coughs, standing straighter with his hands on his hips.

"I mean, that's what I thought." he says, with a confident nod.

She just rolls her eyes, and Phil marches past the receptionist's desk, following the directions that the women had told him.

Eventually, after ordering a coffee - he was definitely going to need it, he figured - he finally reaches room 32B.

He walks in, not wanting to see what had happened, but when he does, it's even worse than he thought.

Abi lies on the bed. Her fragile breathing worries Phil, but not only that; the paleness of her skin, and the bags around her eyes make it worse. Her cheeks were sticky, and Phil comes to the conclusion that something happened to Abi and Dan.

Her hair laid over her face, and the steady heart beat on the monitor reassured him a little more.

When he turns to face the other side of the room, he smiles a little.

Dan sits there, sleeping, with his back slumped against the small couch. His face looked serene; the most peaceful he's seen on his face in days. His cheeks are stained as well, but with fresh tears, as if he has been crying all day.

Phil walks slowly to Abi, touching her cheek. He tries his best not to let a tear run down his face, but he can't help it.

"Oh, Abi," Phil whispers. "I should've listened to you. I should've went. It would've been me, not you. I'm so sorry..."

"Phil, stop blaming yourself."

Phil turns around and sees that Dan's awake. He shakily stands up, and Phil rushes to hug him tightly. Dan is a bit startled, but hugs him back, smiling a little through fresh tears that roll down his cheeks once more.

"D-Dan...I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Phil." Dan says, smiling sadly. "The wall doesn't give too many jokes, and the flies don't have good bants."

Phil smiles, before looking at Abi.

"Car smashed into her," Dan says, noticing how Phil looked at Abi, as if he wanted answers. Phil hates the way Dan says it - as if it was just a mistake, or a one time thing. "She didn't see it coming. It was my fault; I got her angry, she said 'good riddance' and, as she was leaving, she walked onto the road a-and..."

Dan can't say anymore without breaking into sobs again. Phil rubs his back.

"It's okay," Phil reassures. "You don't have to finish if you don't want to."

Dan nods, but continues to talk anyway.

"She's fine; surgery went well. They fixed a few broken bones, and she'll be coming home with a cast. But other than that, she was fine. Doctors said it was a miracle that she only needs a cast, but they want to keep her here overnight to make sure everything is okay. She lost a lot of blood, so they're giving her that, and she's just sleeping for a while."

Phil bites his lip. "Good."

Dan plops back onto the chair, running his hand through his hair.

"Dammit, this is the worst." Dan mutters. "I'm the worst."

"Dan, don't say that." Phil says. "You're not a terrible person."

"I am, Phil!" Dan says, a little louder than he intended. "You won't believe it. If you were one of the people that saw, you'd hate me. Heck, if you were a fan, you're sure as hell not now! It was like I got possessed, and when I snapped out of it, she's walking out the door and onto the road."

"Dan -"

"She _flinched,_ Phil." Dan says, exasperated. "She thought I was going to hurt her!"

"Dan, she'd never -"

"But I _did_ hurt her!" Dan buries his face in his hands, letting out a loud sob. "I'll never forgive myself."

"You have to understand, Dan, that Abi is in a dark place right now. She's losing us to a house, she has something to do with her dad she was going to tell me about, and you have to realize that this is not your fault!"

"It's my fault she even _knows_ me!" Dan bolts straight up, and Phil steps back a bit.

"It's my fault she knows my name, and it's my fault her room was filled with her things! I took her in, and I was the one who was selfish enough to keep her like a fucking pet! She could've had a different life, one where she didn't love me. But she doesn't, and now, even when she wakes up, she's going to have to live with the things I said to her. Even if I was her, I'd hate me, if that even makes any sense."

Phil sighs. "Dan, you can't possibly mean that."

"I'm a _monster,_ Phil!" he nearly screams. "I don't deserve love, or _her!"_

He sniffles. "She probably doesn't even feel the same way. Or, at least, not anymore."

_"You don't spell love, you feel it."_ Phil says logically.

"Did you just indirectly quote Winnie the Pooh?"

"I felt like that's what you needed to hear right now."

Dan laughs bitterly. "I hate myself so much."

Phil shakes his head. "Dan, don't ever say that again. It was bad enough when you said it before, but that was a long time ago. Dan, you're amazing, and don't you ever let yourself repeat what you felt when you were younger, or even in 2012 for God's sake."

"Aren't you the amazing one." Dan mutters, and Phil rolls his eyes.

"Ayyy," he says quietly, and sits down in a chair besides him.

"I'm too lucky to have both of you in my life." Dan murmurs, resting his head against Phil's shoulder.

"You're never too lucky, Dan." Phil says thoughtfully.

They looked at Abi sleeping, watching as her chest rose up and down, and how her breathing was steady. Moments of silence occurs, and Dan finally speaks up, after what seems to be an hour of watching Abi. He looks at Phil sincerely.

"I love her, Phil."

"I know you do."

Dan hesitates, before hastily adding,"...I love you, Phil."

Phil smiles, not looking up from his phone.

"I know you do."

...

Phil comes back from his coffee run, and stops at the door when he sees what's happening.

Dan's holding Abi's hand softly, as he flips through a tattered copy of an old 'Winnie the Pooh' book. It appears to be his, but when he squints, he sees the letters 'A.W' on the front page of the book. Phil smiles fondly; Dan's reading Abi her favorite book, now that he remembers it.

Dan's voice is quiet, but is strong and meaningful. Phil loves it when he reads books aloud; whether it be by himself, or when Darcy comes over. He can see why Darcy loves him so much.

" _'When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,' said Piglet at last, 'what's the first thing you say to yourself?'_ "

Phil smiles; Dan's voice rises a bit for Piglet's voice. He smiles even more when Dan deepens his voice for Pooh's, but doesn't have to much; his voice sounds as articulate as Pooh anyway, so it didn't even matter.

" _'What's for breakfast?' said Pooh. "What do_ you _say, Piglet?'_ "

Dan rubs Abi's hand a bit, and Phil realizes that this is her favorite part, knowing that after Dan read that story countless times to Darcy.

" _'I say, 'I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?' said Piglet._ "

Dan wipes a tear from his cheek, watching as Abi's expression doesn't change, like it usually does when he read the story.

" _'Pooh nodded thoughtfully.'_ " Dan read slowly, smiling a little. " _'It's the same thing' he said._ "

* * *

Abi opens her eyes wearily, and she sees a note by her feet.

It takes her a while to reach for it, due to the cast on her arm, but, using her good hand, she grabs it. She also notices that her old copy of 'Winnie the Pooh' was sitting besides it. Abi could swear she heard a voice read her favorite part while she was sleeping; maybe it was Dan.

She shakes her head wearily, clearing the blurred lines, and holding it to her eye level.

_'We went to get some Chinese takeout. We know you want noodles and wings, so we'll remember to get you a large quantity of both. Hopefully you're reading this. We'll be back soon. We love you so much, and we hope we get to see your eyes (that was Dan, by the way). - Dan and Phil xx'_

Abi smiles, and folds the note, tossing it on her desk.

Suddenly, the door opens, and Abi looks up to see a nurse pop her head through the door.

"You're awake!" she says happily. Abi nods, reaching for her glasses and puts them on with one hand.

"Yeah. I am." She doesn't want to be; she'd rather be dead if she could be honest. She stays silent.

"Well, I know it's a bit inconvenient for you, since you just woke up, but there's a visitor here for you. I told him he should wait, but he claims it's urgent. I can send him in with your consent. Is it okay if I tell him to come in, or do you want me to tell him to wait outside."

"He can come in, no worries." Abi mutters, not caring who it was; it was probably Phil or Dan, or maybe even PJ or Chris.

"Alright-y." The nurse says, smiling as she closes the door.

Abi waits a few minutes, before the door opens. She saw two policemen, and her face scrunches up in confusion.

"Come in." One of them say gruffly, and Abi knows they aren't talking to her.

Suddenly, Abi sees the person. Her eyes widen, and she adjusts her glasses to make sure she was seeing right.

She is. There, in his orange jumpsuit and silver handcuffs, was the man Abi never wanted to see again. Memories flashed through her head, and her throat went dry. The man squints at Abi, and she could see visible tears.

She isn't sure whether she should cry or scream.

"Hey, Abi." says the man at last.

Abi gulps, trying to find words to speak.

"Dad?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	12. They're These Terrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And who knew Phil had it in him, to punch a guy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_**Chapter 12: They're These Terrors** _

_2013, Two Months Before Meeting Dan_

"...Mr. Woods, you are being accused of first degree murder and abusive towards your wife, Elizabeth Woods, that led to her death in 2002. How do you plead?"

The judge tapped her fingers against her desk, and the sound echoed through the room. Abi hated to even have to  _be here,_ since she wanted nothing to do with the situation anymore. She hated being in fancy clothes, beside her dad in fucking  _court,_ and she hated being the 20 year old who was trying to "defend" her dad in front of a jury.

It stayed silent for a few seconds, before Benjamin Woods - someone she couldn't even look as "dad" anymore - and cleared his throat and spoke.

"I plead guilty, Your Honor."

Abi's eyes widened. He wasn't even going to try and use the lawyer she paid for. Even after all the hard work that she went to prove his innocence, her dad is selfish enough to just let everything go, and to abandon every last hope. She was furious.

The judge faced the counsel. "Counsel, have your reached your settlement?"

"Yes, Your Honor." The district attorney says. "The people have agreed to time served and probation, as long as Mr. Woods completes an approved anger management course."

The judge looked at Mr. Woods, whose head was bowed down in what Abi hoped was shame.

"Mr. Woods, do you know that by pleading guilty you lose the right to a jury trial?"

"Yes, Your Honor." He sounded defeated.

"Do you give up that right?"

"Yes, Your Honor." Like all hope was given up.

"Do you understand what giving up that right means?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Do you know that you are waiving the right to cross-examine your accusers?"

"Yes."

"Do you know that you are waiving your privilege against self-incrimination?"

"Yes."

"Did anyone force you into accepting this settlement?"

Her dad looked at Abi, before responding, "No."

"Are you pleading guilty because you in fact killed the victim without legal provocation?"

He sighed, and Abi knew it was over. "Yes."

The judge sighed, as if disappointed by the answer.

"Mr. Woods, you are hereby sentenced to 10 years in jail, and to two years' probation, on condition that you complete a court-approved anger management course after you serve your time in prison."

Abi looked as if she were to cry.

Ten years.

She'd practically be a women when he comes out of there.

"Your honor, there is one thing I ask of you."

The judge widened her eyes, but Abi kept hers shut. She knew what her dad was going to ask; he had told her this when they were selling the house, and he had told her before he entered the courtroom. She was afraid of it, but she had to face it.

"Granted opportunity." It sounded like that wasn't a normal request, but she must have a good heart.

He cleared his throat. "I want to talk to my daughter. Everyday."

The judge looked at Abi, and she awkwardly shuffled in her seat. The judge frowned, looking through files.

"Though this depends on your good behavior, Mr. Woods, this request can only be fulfilled by the permission of Abigail Elizabeth Woods, your daughter. It is completely fine with me, but the permission has to be granted by your daughter. If she says yes, we will arrange a meeting every afternoon for you and your daughter to meet. If she says no, you are not to force her to, or else you'd be granted with extra years for bad behavior. Do you agree with these terms?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"So you may speak to her now, in front of everyone."

It was like the whole room was focused on her. Her dad looked at her, with purple bags under his eyes, and sighed.

"Abigail, please." he pleaded. "I-I want to be able to see you. And even if things aren't going to be normal anymore, I ask you as if I was dying,  _please take care of your daddy,_ and show him sympathy. P-Please, Abigail. B-Be a good girl to daddy and say yes."

Abi had tears down her face, but stayed strong to her response.

"Daddy." Abi said quietly. "I never thought this would be the case, but..."

She sighs quietly. "I deny the permission to allow you to see me everyday. I can't ever forgive you for what you did, and if it takes you ten years, or even  _forever_ to understand that, I don't care. I don't want to see your face unless I am ran over by a goddamn car."

Her dad widened her eyes.

"A-Abi, honey -"

"Case closed." The judge said, as if sensing a bad scenario if she hadn't ended the case. "Please take Mr. Woods to his jail cell."

"I HATE YOU!" Her dad suddenly yelled, making Abi jump a bit in shock, and the lawyer comforted Abi as she cried. "I HATE YOU! I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE TO SPEND FIFTY FUCKING YEARS HERE, AND I DON'T CARE IF I ROT IN HERE! I JUST HOPE YOU KNOW IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE OF _YOU!_ I'M LIKE THIS BECAUSE OF  _YOU!"_

The police yanked him away, sternly telling him to be quiet, and whisked him behind the doors, slamming it, and leading him to his cell.

_"I hate you."_ echoed in her mind.  _"Because of you."_

"The jury is thanked and excused." is the final words the judge said that day, and the sound of the gavel echoed the room. "Court is adjourned."

* * *

Dan walks out of the hospital into the dimly lit sky, and he doesn't even know if it is early in the morning, or late at night, because, frankly,  _he doesn't care anymore._ His only concern and number one priority at the moment is the girl laying on that hospital bed, and he knows that it's all his fault.

_I'm such a selfish twat,_ Dan thinks bitterly to himself, sitting on a rock that was beside the hospital garden.  _Always making things five times harder by saying stupid things you don't mean, and ruining your chances at a relationship forever._

He doesn't even realize that he's crying until a tear falls on his lap. He sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

_After all of this, we're done._ Dan thinks.  _After all of this, it'll be for nothing. We'll both have to leave with the permanent scars, and we'll have to deal with it separately, like we don't even know each other. And that's how it's going to be until we eventually forget about each other._

Dan tries his best to wipe himself of the memories that has been plaguing him for days. He tries to tweet something funny, but finds no strength to. Instead, he writes  _'sorry, no liveshow for a while, or vids. been tough, but i'm scraping through. ttyl'_

He hates to be so disloyal, but smiles as some people express their compassion towards his situation, even if they have no clue of what's happening.

Dan suddenly feels his phone buzz, and when he scrolls to see what it is, he realizes it's a text message. He frowns and reads the ID, only to find  _none,_ and figures out that it was some unknown person with no return number or address.

He knows he shouldn't, but in his bad mood, he opens it anyway.

_HEY DANYUL JUST WANNA SAY I FINALLY FOUND UR NUMBER. IF YOU ARENT GONNA TEXT ME BACK OR MARRY ME (I PREFER MARRIAGE) THEN I GUESS ILL HAV ETO PUT MATTERS IN MY OWN HANDS LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I HATE ROOMIE BTW YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER LIKE ME 4 EXMPLE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ALRIGHT BYEEEEE XOXOXOXOXOXO OKAY BYE 4 REAL NOW :3 -endtheroomie._

Dan's a bit freaked out, he'll admit. In his defensive, it was only right to be a bit paranoid; a random (and quite stalker-ish) phangirl has seemed to find his number. And left a lot of threats in there; including hating on Abi, and - the worst crime of all, in Dan's opinion - the amount of typos in the message was beyond belief.

He blocks the anonymous person, and sighs, walking back into the hospital, even more stressed than he was before.

* * *

"May I ask you to wait outside?" Abi squeaks to the police officers who stood behind her father. Her father looks at them, as if pleading them silently, and they exchange looks, contemplating silently. After a while, they nod, and then walk out the door, waiting outside.

Abi could hear their hollow footsteps and their voices through the door - "Hey, don't wanna be stereotypical, but do you wanna get some coffee and donuts?" one asks the other - but they disappear soon, and all that can be heard is the breathes of both people.

They stay silent for a while, but Abi is observing her dad carefully.

Her dad has grown in the past three years since she's seen him, she decides. His hair grown a bit, and is grey on the sides, but he has the same scowling face, and he has the same clothes as she seen him in three years ago; an orange jumpsuit and hand-cuffs.

"Why are you here." She says it as a statement, already knowing the answer.

She hates it when her dad smirks, so he does. "Because you got ran over by a 'goddamn car', therefore granting me permission to see you. Thank you, by the way, for getting hit with that car, Abigail. I never thought I could see you again."

Abi sighs in her bed, watching as the heart monitor beside her beeps rapidly. She's nervous, and now her dad can tell. She hates hospital for this reason; they make you seem vulnerable and weak, even though you are trying not to be.

"Are you saying you're glad I got hurt?" Abi grits out. "You know everything you say can be held against you,  _dad_."

The words sound foreign on her tongue. Her dad chuckles.

"Always a sarcastic girl. You never change."

"Still a murderer." Abi says darkly. "Still a selfish, abusive, spiller of blood."

"Abi, that isn't what I want to talk about." he says. "Please, hear me out. This is not about me, this is about you, and what the hell has happened. I was shocked when I heard you were in the hospital for a car crash, and judging by the tears, something happened to you mentally as well."

"It's none of your concern." she says, stubborn.

"It is my concern, Abigail," her dad retorts. "I am your  _father."_

"Some fucking father." Abi swears. "You go and abuse your wife so much 'till she runs and gets hit by a car, you kill the guy who did it, and you hid it for three years, raising me through blurred memories, because, wait a minute, I don't think you remember because of all that booze."

Abi is cold, and she doesn't care. She doesn't care if her dad is staring daggers at her, or that the police may be outside the door.

"And you were going to run when the police tracked you down. You sold the only house we knew for so little, almost ran, got caught, didn't use the lawyer I  _paid_ for with the leftover money, and tried to get me to  _see you."_

Abi is crying more waterfalls. "I've had my disappointments, but I have to say, none of them are close to being  _your daughter._ "

"What's on your fucking chest, Abigail?!"

She looks at the gold charm, shining beside the silver and bronze. She knows what it says, and she doesn't want to open it. Instead, she stays quiet.

"It says to be a good girl." Abi's dad grits out. "And can you for once?!"

"You are supposed to be out of my life, dad." Abi growls. "I got hit by a fucking car, so why do you care?"

"I thought you were dead!" he yells. "I thought you ended up just like your mother!"

Her dad wipes angry tears. "I thought I'd have to kill him as well. Actually, scratch that, I  _am_ going to kill him. That son of a bitch is going to the same jail I am, and I am going to pound him 'till his mouth screams for bloody mercy."

Abi's eyes widen. "Dad, don't threaten him. You spent three years in jail where I assume you've been good -"

"How would  _you_ know?!" her dad interrupts. "You denied me the privilege to see my fucking daughter!"

" - and you only have seven years left. I didn't see your face for three years, and I don't want to have to go back to the courtroom to see you get put in jail for life just because you murdered the guy who didn't even kill me!"

She's crying so hard, and she tries to stop, because she feels pathetic.

"Leave, dad." Abi whispers fragilely.

"I'LL NEVER LEAVE!" he yells.

All of the sudden, he leaps over the hospital bed and begins to strangle her. His hands clasp around Abi's neck. Abi's eyes widen, croaking for help. His eyes are wide and remind her of a maniac. She can no longer see the dad that tucked her in after her nightmares; she saw the psycho from those nightmares.

"I told you t-to...leave." Abi manages to get out, air knocked out of her. There is a glint of insanity in her dad's eyes, and he  _smiles_.

"Whatcha say,  _honey_?" her dad growled.

"L-Lea-"

Abi's vision grew dark, and spots of black appeared in view.

_"Night, good girl."_

Just when she was about to let go and let darkness consume her, and just as she was about to accept the fact that her death would belong in the hands of her father, she heard a voice that she never thought she would hear in situations like this.

"She said to get the fuck out,  _sadist."_

Her dad lets go of her neck, and she gasps for breath, struggling to keep her eyes open so that she could see who it was.

"Young man, I hope you know that I am her father." he grits out, and Abi keeps trying to speak, but her neck is killing her, and her lungs feel like they would collapse on her.

Phil Lester steps in front of the man.

"Father or not, your hands were on your daughter. And you  _smiled_. I hope you were fucking possessed, but I swear to God, if you don't get out in the next five seconds, I will get you out myself."

Her father tosses his chained hands up, hitting Phil in the jaw with both hands, smirking as if he felt good watching him suffer. Abi muffles her screams, and Phil growls, spitting at the floor and throws an unexpected punch at her dad's eye.

The police come after, holding their donuts, before dropping them to take in the surroundings. Phil yelps, shaking his fist in pain.

"What the hell happened here?!" the police demanded.

"The motherfucker hit me!" her dad yelled, and Abi tried to speak through strangled sobs.

"Well if it wasn't for 'this motherfucker'," Phil grits out angrily, still holding his fist. "his daughter would be dead by his hands. Take a fucking DNA sample; you'd find his dirty fingerprints all over her bruised neck."

"YOU'LL NEVER BE HAPPY!" her dad yelled as the police yanks him away, mumbling "three more years", and Abi is crying. "NO ONE WILL MAKE YOU FUCKING HAPPY! I TRY TO KILL THE GUY WHO BROUGHT YOU HERE, BUT YOU ARE A SELFISH ASS WHO DOESN'T ACCEPT HELP!"

His screams drown away when the door slams closed, and Phil cries in pain as he clutches his hand.

"Y-You okay?" Abi finally finds her voice, and Phil squeezes his eyes, before focusing them on Abi's bruised neck.

"I should be asking you the same thing." he manages to say.

Abi tiredly smiles. "I don't think I ever heard you swear so much at one time."

Phil blushes. "I was a bit...angered. It was like I blacked out, and the next thing I saw was your dad with a black eye, screaming, and my hand really hurt. For a guy with handcuffs, your dad is a pretty tough guy, huh?"

Abi nods quietly. "Yeah."

A moment of silence passes, and Phil reaches to hold Abi's hand. She flinches, and Phil recoils.

"I heard everything." he says quietly.

"I don't know what I was expecting." Abi says meekly. "It wasn't the quietest conversation."

The old, tattered copy of Winnie the Pooh falls onto the ground, and it was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

"I think you need to tell me what the hell is going on."

"It's not simple, Phillip." Abi says with a broken smile. "You see, they are these terrors...I've lived with them for so long."

"You need to let it out, Abi." Phil says. "What happened is not your fault, and I think all you need to do is let it out."

He stays quiet, before adding, "And your promised, remember?"

Abi nods quietly.

"Okay, Phil." Abi manages a small smile. "You were always the persuasive one."

"If I wasn't, I guess you wouldn't be here, would you?" Phil replies.

"Let's get on with the story, shall we?"

Phil nods, and Abi begins to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	13. Thanks For The Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abi spins the tale of her past in Phil's hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?

_**Chapter 13: Thanks for the Memories** _

"There were two people." Abi says, fiddling with Phil's hands that rested on the bed. "Their names were Elizabeth Thompson and Benjamin Woods. They fell in love in college, I think, and they were inseparable. It was no surprise to their friends when they tied the knot in 1990, and they got married in a small church up north. Benjamin was proud to say that Elizabeth Thompson was now Elizabeth Woods."

...

_She remembers the stories her mom told about their perfect wedding. Her mom showed her pictures of her ivory dress, and the thin veil that laid over her brown hair. She also told her that her father looked amazing. He had a white tuxedo, and his teeth matched his suit. They were happy, she had told her. They were so happy._

_..._

"In the month of May, 1991, my mother found out that she was pregnant. And, as my dad very much liked to say to me, it was a complete accident. They went to some crappy hotel after getting wasted, and had some unprotected sex. And I assume you know how a baby is born, and that's how I turned into a fetus."

Phil didn't want to, but he laughs anyway, thinking it would make Abi feel a bit lighthearted.

Of course, Abi said nothing, and Phil just awkwardly lowered his laugh to a cough.

...

_Her mom said she was a beautiful child. A brown fluff of hair, and hazel eyes. She said that, even if it was "painful as hell", that she loved the feeling of holding her in her arms, and this made Abi very happy. She was wrapped in a pink blanket, and her mom had chosen the name "Abigail" because it had meant "the Father's joy", and she had told her that she would mean a lot, bring joy and happiness to everyone who touched her._

_..._

"Little did she know, she was very wrong."

Phil felt Abi tremble, and he squeezed her hand tightly.

"You don't have to tell me anything else. No one is forcing you to."

Abi sniffles a bit, using her free hand to wipe away tears.

"You need to know. You need to know because it's getting too much to hold it all in. If you want me to stop, go ahead and tell me, but I think this is right. This  _is_ right, right? I mean, you're okay with me telling you all this -"

Abi is shaking now, and Phil strokes her arm gently.

"Calm down, Abi." Phil reassures. "Of course I want to know. I just want you to know that it's aright to take a break and stop. I don't want you to get hurt just thinking about it, alright? The last thing I want is for you to start crying again."

Abi smiles through her tears.

"Because I look ugly when I cry?"

"Well, you feel ugly when you cry, and that just makes it hard for me to look at you without crying either."

Abi grins a bit, and then continues her story.

"During the ten years of me being alive, my dad began to get angry towards my mom. I don't remember much, to be honest, but I would remember my mom walking into my room in tears and bruises, rubbing my forehead and telling me it would be okay, even if I didn't know a thing that was happening."

...

_She didn't like when they yelled, and she had told her mom that whenever she'd come into her room, with walls peeling off slightly. Her mom had to explain to her that it was completely normal for parents to argue sometimes. Although Abi didn't really understand, her mom always liked to tell her things would be alright._

_"Remember what I said, Abigail?" she told her in a sweet voice. "You will bring joy to all you touched."_

_The last part was muttered a bit quieter, "And trust me when I say that some need that joy right now."_

_..._

Abi laid silently after that part, staring at the ceiling, not making eye contact with Phil. He nervously played with her hands, which was still holding his in a tight grasp. He felt as if he was being watched, but ignores it as Abi takes a breath, and says the next part.

"It was in 2002 when it happened. Late at night, I was awoken by screaming. They were swearing so loudly, and I tried my best to ignore like I always had, but I felt like I had to go downstairs to see what they were doing."

She sobs a bit, and Phil rubs her shoulder, whispering, "It's okay, Abi; I'll be here to take care of you."

"My dad had yelled loudly, telling her that it was a mistake. That their relationship was doomed from the beginning.  _That I should've never happened at all."_

"Abi -"

"Phil, I'm the one telling the story here, 'right?" she snaps, and Phil nods quietly. Abi felt like she didn't need to apologize, since Phil looked at her in an understanding way.

"And it was when he threw a punch to my mom's stomach and said some...things that I don't really need to repeat. That was when my mom grabbed her jacket and her lucky white hat and stormed out the door. My dad pleaded for her to come back, saying sorry."

Abi sucks a breath. "That was when I heard tires and metal, slamming into my mom's side and crushing her bones."

Phil stays silent. He's shocked, but he won't say anything. Not yet, at least.

"I remember my dad's eyes widening as he slipped on black gloves and took something long and slick out of the drawer he'd never let me touch. I didn't understand what it was until I watched him go out the door. I heard a click, and I heard a large 'bang!'."

Abi cries a little.

"When he came back inside, slamming the door with the blood on my mom's white beret...that's when I knew someone was dead."

...

_The funeral was the most depressing thing ever. Her dad was crying, and so were so many family members. Abi remembers the black satin dress she wore - a dress that was supposed to be for a school play - and she watched as she heard her dad speak a eulogy in her honor._

_"I loved Elizabeth." he said through tears. "So much."_

_That was the first lie that Abi ever heard her dad say._

_..._

"Things just went downhill from there. I grew up; thirteen he gave me this necklace, and seventeen - the same year I started watching your videos and looking for places to move to - he got more drunk and abusive. I grew up with scars, and people at school would ask me where they came from. Eventually, things got worse."

...

_"We're moving out," her dad had told her frantically, packing things into bags as Abi stood at the door, dumbfounded._

_"Us?" she squeaked. "Moving?"_

_"Yes, you airhead, we're moving." he muttered soon after, "How fucked up are you?"_

_"Why, if I may ask?"_

_"Because they're coming!" Her dad screamed at her. "They're going to take everything away from me - from us! I've sold the house, we'll move, and I'll get you a fucking pony if you want to. Makes you feel better? Good. Get your ass up and start packing. Don't take too much; you can leave whatever you want. The people won't mind."_

_"Oh yeah," Abi snapped at her. "The new people will enjoy my happiness lingering in this place, since I will be so far away from it."_

_..._

"But that was two months before they got him. The police found the evidence that could send my dad to prison."

Abi heaves a breath. "It did."

"I used the money from the crappy house to pay for a lawyer, even if I knew what happened. My dad had abused my mom, and he had shot the guy who ended up smashing his car into her. He was being charged for abuse and murder, and the only thing I could do was watch as he didn't even use the lawyer I paid half our money for. He pleaded guilty, and, after denying the right to ever see me unless I got hit by 'a goddamn car', I never saw what happened beyond those bars."

...

_"Abigail Woods?" someone asked me over the phone. "It's your father. He wishes to speak to you."_

_Abi sat on the bench, nothing in her hands but a phone and some money._

_"What does he want? He knows what the agreements were..."_

_"He wants to say some final words. This may be his last day of communication."_

_Abi thought about it for a while, and, tears mixed with the rain, she said one simple word._

_"Denied."_

_..._

"Since we spent almost all we had on the lawyer and getting my dad a fair shot in court - which he didn't use - I was left with a couple of bucks. I sold all my belongings - aside from the necklace - since it was the only thing I could do to get money. It was true that I worked in Tesco for a few months, had a crappy job, quit, and then flew to London. I thought I could start a new life."

Abi sighs. "Of course, I was, like, twenty, and I didn't have too many plans. Which is how I ended up on the run for a few months, with no clothes other than the ones I started with, a few bucks for food and drinks, but not enough for my own flat."

Abi finally looks at Phil.

"And that's my story. The rest's history."

Silence fills the room, and Phil watches as Abi breaks down in tears. He reaches to touch her, but she flinches, the memories too strong for her.

"A-Abi, I love you."

Abi looks up at Phil, and wipes away tears from her face.

"You do? Even after all of that?"

Phil kisses Abi's forehead.

"I will always love you."

Abi smiles a bit, squeezing his hand before they both heard a cough from the door. Their eyes travel to see a tear-struck Dan, who was looking directly at Abi. She groans, her head hitting the pillow, and Phil sheepishly stands up and goes to Dan. Abi already knew what he was doing.

The two boys exit the room momentarily. Phil pulls Dan aside.

"Please don't break her." Phil whispers in Dan's ears, kissing his cheek too, and Dan just blushes.

"Why'd you kiss my cheek?" Dan asks quietly. "You never did that since 2009."

"Because then and now, it doesn't matter anymore." Phil says with a small smile. "I love you nonetheless, and I think you needed it."

He pauses, and then adds feebly, "Was it wrong? I mean, I know 'Phan' is not a thing and all, and I don't love you - romantically, that is - but it wasn't weird, right?"

"I missed that." Dan interrupts him. "Those platonic kisses. They remind me of how simple life was."

"Well, try and not screw up your opportunity, Dan." Phil says, and they both look at the door.

"...I love you, Phil." Dan then adds, "Platonically, I mean."

"Love you too, Bear." Phil says, ruffling the younger boy's hair.

"Now go and get her, while I go and get some Starbucks."

Dan grins, and then Phil goes the other direction. Dan takes a breath, and opens the door.

The first thing he sees is Abi's hazel eyes, teary and wet, but waiting in anticipation.

He silently walks to the side of her bed, pulls up a chair, and picks up the Winnie the Pooh book. He places it on her chest.

"I believe this is yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	14. I'll Always Wait For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She doesn't think she's ever seen Dan so confused in her whole life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_**Chapter 14: I'll Always Wait For You** _

Silence fills the room after Dan says those five words. Abi's hand manages to drift to the charm lying on her chest, that is covered with faded bruises from where her dad tried to strangle her. She can't really talk - or, at least, that is the excuse she tries to tell herself - but maybe that's because she is speechless.

"What?" Dan finally asks. "Just because I didn't almost die for it, you could at least say 'thank you'."

"You didn't have to do that." Abi smiles, despite of everything.

"Well I did," Dan says, quoting the words that both somehow remembered very clearly. "but whatever."

"I said you didn't have to do that," Abi recites, as if their whole meeting was a play, "but never said I didn't thank you for it."

Abi's crying now, and she doesn't know why anymore. She thinks that it may have something to do with how ridiculous this whole thing was, or maybe - just maybe - it was because she  _fucking loved Dan Howell so much that it hurts._

"Why are you crying?" Dan feels himself smirk. "You didn't see the inevitable end."

"You didn't either!"

"Stick to the script, Abigail."

"It's just nobody would do that for me." Abi says, tears welling up in her eyes; she doesn't know if they are happy tears from the memory, or painful tears from...the memory as well, now that she thought about it. "Nobody would save a girl's necklace from train tracks, or memorize the very first words we ever exchanged to each other."

"Maybe it's because your accent is annoying as fuck."

And Abi laughs; something she or Dan never heard in a while. Dan smiles, which is also something Abi hasn't seen in forever, and she loves it; she fell in love with those dimples and that pearly smile, but, somehow, it never really occurred to her that it could be all hers if she just did something to get it.

"I can't believe you remembered. I never knew." Abi whispers, but Dan shakes his head.

"You knew I remembered it." Dan says confidently. "And, even if you didn't, I know  _you_ will always remember it."

Abi blushes. "You're right."

Silence again. Abi manages to tear her gaze from Dan's hypnotizing brown eyes.

"...you have an annoying accent as well."

Dan lightly punches her arm.

"I'll have you know that people love my accent!"

"Yeah, and ninety percent of them love it, while the other ten percent want to steal it and have Phil get it back by sucking face!"

"That doesn't make sense!"

"It makes for a great phanfiction though." Abi says, pretending to think. "Maybe  _I_ should make an account. I do always have the front row seats to all that phan action."

"Stop it!" Dan says, blushing, though he doesn't know why. He keeps thinking of what Phil said, and, even worse, what that stalker said.

"Are you okay?" Abi says, and Dan realizes that he had zoned out for a solid three minutes. "Was it something I said?"

"No, no." Dan said at last. "That was all me. You know me and my deep thinking."

"I-I see." Abi says, her accent squeaking at the stutter.

More silence. Too much silence, in Abi's opinion.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Dan whispers quietly, and that's when Abi knew that their conversation wasn't going to be light and fluffy anymore.

"Can I be honest?" Abi asks, and Dan nods. "I hoped that I could avoid it. Kind of like your scar."

"Were you really abused?" Dan jumps to the next question. He could see the change of expression in Abi's face, and he meekly adds, "If you don't mind me asking. I am quite the curious soul, if you know what I mean. Sorry."

"No, it's alright." Abi says quietly.

And then, after yet another moment of silence, Abi speaks up again.

"I was abused." Abi admits. "After my mom died, my dad became a few things; an alcoholic, an abusive father, a maniac, a criminal, a psychopath,  _a murderer."_

Abi couldn't say the last words without gagging.

"I want to throw up, every time I think of the fact that my dad murdered someone with his own hands, even if my mom's blood was on him already. It's like he was using my mom to murder someone, if it makes sense. The thought makes me absolutely sick, and, sometimes, it makes me want to go insane."

"I-I'm so sorry, Abi." Dan says. "I should've...it's my fault he even came back. It's my fault you're even here."

"It's not your fault, Dan." Abi reassures. "I am kind of glad we saw each other again. As you probably heard, I denied the privilege of seeing my dad, and I guess i can say that it was a good decision that I should definitely not regret."

"I'm sorry." he repeats, despite everything Abi said. "Nobody should ever have to go through that."

"Now that I think of it, I think it was the direction he was going to from the very beginning." Abi says, fiddling her thumbs as she adjusted herself on the hospital bed.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Abi says with a small smile. "It feels good to say it aloud. I think he was always a little crazy, and always a little abusive. I think it's something that he always had. My mom and I didn't have the chance to see that before it was too late."

Dan frowns, but tries not to break down in tears.

"I hate that you ever had to go through that." he decides to say.

"Me too." Abi says quietly, fiddling her thumbs. "And the worse thing is that I don't even feel bad. I always think that 'it could've been so much worse', or that some people have it harder than I do. I can never feel that bad for what's happened to me. Maybe that's why I didn't tell anyone; I thought I was being selfish or something. Plus, this was on me as much as it was his fault -"

"Abi, what happened to you was not your fault." Dan cuts through. "I know it's cliched to say, but it is never your fault for being hurt by someone else."

"You're right." Abi admits. "Everyone who ever said that to me is always right."

Dan plays with the strings of his hoodie, and Abi stares at the ceiling.

"Am I forgiven?"

"You always are, Dan. Always."

"Good," Dan grabs her hands and squeezes them. "because I love you."

Abi blushes, but her mind is turning to puddles. Dan Howell -  _danisnotonfire; internet personality -_ loves her.

"Dan, I love you too." Abi whispers. "But I'm not really ready for a committed relationship. I know you'd probably hate me, but I...I want to wait it out. I want to start over again, and I want to start over  _with you guys."_

She stretches out the last three words, hoping Dan would get it. Unfortunately, Dan is a bit confused.

"Abigail Woods, I'll always wait for you; even if distance do us apart."

"Ew, English nerd. That sounds so old." Abi crinkles her nose, and Dan rolls his eyes.

"I am sad to see you go." Dan says with a sigh. "I mean, I would love to be your friend, but it's going to be hard to love you from miles away..."

"Dan, I said I wanted to start over with you guys."

"Yeah, so?"

Abi chuckles. "You really don't hear it, do you?"

Dan shakes his head, clearly confused. It's weird for Dan to be this way, but Abi understood completely.

_"I want to start over with you guys."_

"Why do you keep repeating that -" Dan starts, before Abi raises an eyebrow, and it clicks.

"Y-You're..." Dan stammers, but Abi just smiles.

"Remember when I was talking with my landlord at the Starbucks?" Dan nods. Abi smiles.

"I was telling him that I wasn't taking the apartment."

The words absorb into Dan. He feels the air being knocked out of him.

"Y-You're...y-you're s-staying?" Dan manages to stutter out.

"Yup." Abi says with a grin. "As soon as I get out of here, then it's to the new house, with three bathrooms for each of us, and a whole extra guest bedroom for Striker."

Dan wants to hug her, but can't, since the hospital bed was there. Instead, he squeezes her hand tightly.

"You won't regret this, Abi, I promise -"

"YOU'RE STAYING?!"

Dan and Abi turn around to see Phil, holding a tray of two caramel frappes, and a vanilla one for him. Abi grins widely as Dan runs up to bear hug Phil, almost knocking him over and spilling all the drinks. Luckily, Phil managed to get them both on a table before they could spill, but the force was big enough to knock him off his feet.

"You really took my advice, huh?" Phil says, hugging Dan as well.

"That hug's from me as well, Phil!" Abi says, and Phil nods.

"Man, I wish I can tweet this." Dan says after their celebration was over, sipping his caramel frappe.

"Wow, Dan, real sentimental, huh?" Abi smirks.

"Sorry for being on top of today's society, Abi." Dan retorts, sticking his tongue out. "Today, celebrations are happening on Twitter, not real life."

She knows he's joking, but she's ready to pull the final surprise on the two British boys.

"Then tweet it."

Phil nearly chokes on his frappe. Dan actually spits his on the floor by accident. Abi laughs a little at their reactions, though the serious atmosphere was in the air.

"Y-You...that'll involve you being on our twitter page." Phil manages to say.

"That won't matter." Abi says with a smile. "I mean, it's good to know your roommate is still alive before filming a roommate tag video with them, huh?"

* * *

She sits in her room, her electronics the only thing illuminating their screen. She's giggling under the covers, scrolling on Tumblr on one computer. The other laptop had tabs open to each and every social media account - including their YouTube channels - that Dan and Phil have. Every 5.5 seconds, she'd refresh every single one.

Beside the laptop was her phone. It was on a Google Maps. She had three phones - one for following Dan, one for following Phil, and one for her fan account - and every phone was on Google Maps, showing three different locations; an apartment building, a house, and a hospital.

As she scrolls through Tumblr, while simultaneously refreshing the social media accounts, she sees that Dan just tweeted something. Before she can like it, she reads to tweet.

**Dan Howell danisnotonfire  
** _April 28th; 10:07pm_

_Excited for a new video with a special someone. Get ready, Danosaurs, 'cuz she's coming *sparkle emoji*_

The girl growls and doesn't like the tweet; she knows who she is. 'She' is the person she's be dreading.

_'I'll find you,'_ she thinks,  _'and I'll destroy you'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	15. The Roomate Tag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They learned a lot, to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_**Chapter 15: The Roommate Tag** _

Abi comes home a week later, and, as promised by Dan, only comes home with a cast. Medication comes as well for the pain, and she promises Phil that she will go to some therapy sessions to help her get through with everything that has happened. Of course, Dan and Phil are the first to sign her cast, and Abi even grants them permission to tweet the photo of her cast. There's questions, but all will be answered soon.

When Abi comes home, Striker happily licks her. Eventually, he gets to sign the cast too - or at least, dip his paw in some paint that Phil left lying around for a future challenge, and stick his wet paw onto her cast. Even if Dan was worried that Striker would lick the paint and die of poison - "Dan, you really need to stop freaking out." Phil said to him earlier in the day. "It can be fixed with something called water. No harm done." - things in Abi's life have been going well.

Days come and go, and they prepare to move out. They move out in two weeks, and they are taking advantage of the time they had left. This was mostly done by Phil hugging a houseplant pot, wailing, and Dan cleaning the carpet so that the outline of his body in the hallway would be taken care of - "Stupid existential crises," Dan mutters as he desperately tries to level the small indent of the outline he left, lying down on the floor for all those late nights. Abi laughs at him, despite everything.

Abi looks around as she cleans out her room. The once scarlet-red room was now lined up with boxes, each one labelled. She didn't have much, other than Christmas gifts from friends and little mini-gifts she got for herself occasionally, but it was enough to fill a few boxes, since she refused to mix her stuff up in the same box. She had a box for her albums - Origin of Symmetry, Black Parade, American Idiot, Blurryface, etc - a box filled with all her clothes - "I dare you to steal her bra," Abi hears Phil whisper to Dan while they were helping her back, followed by a blush and a soft punch from the younger boy - a box filled with books - mostly YouTuber books, including TABINOF, but also Rainbow Rowell books, along with Stephan King books - a box filled with anime and DVDs she's collected - "Or stole!" Dan interjected during the packing. "I was looking for this everywhere!" - furniture stuff, and miscellaneous crap that she had collected over the years - including multiple Tortoro stuffies from Phil over the years.

Looking at all the stuff makes her smile; she doesn't have much that she bought for herself, since she only had one job in a small store in London for a while before she quit, but she had enough to get through boring times. She had been scrolling through jobs in the area they're going to move into, and had small success. It was fine though; she would find something eventually.

And they're having so much fun, Abi nearly forgets that a certain day is coming up soon.

* * *

"Are you ready to film yet, Abi? Dan? 'Cause I got all the equipment ready; I just need my roommates!" Phil yells from Dan's bedroom.

Abi fixes her hair in the mirror in her box, deciding to tie it in a messy bun. She decided to wear a deep red hoodie, with a bunch of bands she liked on it - a present from Tyler when he came to visit earlier in the year - and black skinny jeans.

"You ready, Abi?" A voice from her door asked. She looked up to see Dan, holding Striker in his hands, wearing a Tortoro shirt and black skinny jeans. She smiles shyly, and nods without saying a word.

"You have no need to be worried, Abi." Dan says with a small smile. "They'll love you. And even if they don't, who gives a crap? They're people on the internet."

Abi laughs, and she thinks that's exactly what she needed.

"Thanks, Dan."

"C'mon, guys!" Striker leapt out of Dan's arms at the sound of Phil's voice, and trotted to Dan's room. "Will I have to do a roommate tag with Striker? Because we haven't gotten that intimate yet to be able to finish the first three questions."

Abi laughs. "Alright! Coming!"

Dan smiles as Abi stands up and walks to Dan's room, taking one last look at the boxes in Abi's room, and turning around to follow her.

Phil's wearing a blue and green checkered polo, and blue skinny jeans. He is also wearing his glasses, which is a look that Abi liked whenever she could see him wear them.

"Let's do this before I regret it." Abi jokes, though she doesn't exactly know if the joke was actually meant to be a tease.

They decide to post the video on Dan's channel, just in case there are cusses, and because Phil knew it would be a good idea. Abi blushed at the idea, but Dan just smiled as if it was nothing.

"So hide out of the frame, and I'll introduce you guys." Dan explains as he closes his bedroom door, holding the cards with the questions written on it. Abi nods as she steps to the left, out of the camera's view, Phil opposite to them.

Abi watches in awe as Dan sets up; the filming process was amazing, and Dan and Phil knew how to do it just fine.

Dan finally pressed record, and Abi took a deep breath; here it goes.

"Hello internet!" Dan says, a smile on his face. "Today, it's a different type of video. Not like the usual danisnotonfire video of being a sarcastic twat -"

Abi laughs at that, and Dan rolls his eyes, looking at her.

"Shush, I'm filming!"

"You can edit it out, doofus." Abi retorts.

"Perhaps I won't!"

"I better be there for that process."

"I say keep it." Phil says from the right of Dan. "You can put that TV glitch screen with the loud beep. Everyone does that."

Dan rolls his eyes, and continues talking.

"Hello internet," he repeats, "today will be a different video. A video I kind of should've done a long time ago?" His voice went higher, and Abi tries dos stifle her laughs; Dan and his procrastination habits.

"Maybe I was trying to wait for the whole gang to come." Dan thinks, and Abi rolls his eyes. "Or maybe I was making sure there wouldn't be any other train-wreck girls that I end up befriending. Literally train-wreck."

"Hey!" Abi exclaims through giggles, and Dan breaks down laughing.

"Another TV glitch screen is what we need." Phil says, rolling his eyes as he kneels to pet Striker. "This whole video will be filled of 'em."

"Anyway, I am doing the roommate tag!" He swipes his hands in front of him, reminding himself to add the text later.

"Add fireworks!" Phil says.

Dan turns to face Phil, rolling his eyes. "Oh god, Phil, we all know you spent good money, and I think we used it enough, don't you?"

Abi bites her lip, smiling, and Phil fakes an angry huff.

"And as promised on Twitter, I have a special guest, which has been a longtime coming." Abi smiles, and Dan snaps his fingers. "First of all, I guess I have to introduce my first roommate, my bestie, AmazingPhil!"

Phil jumped on the bed, tackling Dan. Abi falls into hysterics, and Dan just playfully punches him off.

"Oh my god, who would've guessed it?" Phil says with a smirk, pushing up his glasses. "Hey guys! Glad I can be here. Like every other video of Dan's - "

"Moving on to more exciting people!" Dan says, covering Phil's face with his hand.

"I convinced her, and I got her, introducing for the first time on the internet..."

Abi takes a breath.  _'No bailing now, Abi. No bailing now -'_

"Roomie!"

Abi slides into frame, looking at the camera. It was weird seeing herself on the laptop as footage rolled on. Instead of pointing it out, however, she waves.

"Hey internet!" she says with a confident smile she didn't know she had.

Dan and Phil exchange looks, and Abi blushes.

"A hybrid between 'hey guys' and 'hello internet'?"

"Acceptable!" Dan says, clasping his hands together, and Abi rolls her eyes.

"Sorry it's been so long." Abi says with a sly smirk. "Didn't want to ruin the phan moments you always point out, so, like a fellow phangirl, I let them have all the romantic day-our-lives and suggestive baking videos."

"Shut up!" Dan exclaims, and Abi grins.

"I am Abigail Elizabeth Woods, and I am twenty four. Call me Abi, Roomie, or dickhead, whatever you prefer, 'cuz I'm all of them."

"It's true!" Dan says. Abi laughs, and Phil interrupts the two.

"We are all roommates, as you probably guessed it." Dan says. "And we are going to do the roommate tag!"

"Simple enough." Abi says, shrugging. "Shall we take turn answering questions?"

"Yeah, sounds good." Dan answers. "I'll say the answers, since I have them right here!"

He shows the cards at the camera, and Abi snorts.

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Whatever, Miss. Sarcasm."

"Enough with the pet names!"

"Sorry for the cast, by the way." Abi says. "Long story, but it wasn't my preferred fashion choice."

Dan's smile falters, but he continues.

"First question!" he exclaims. "Did you guys know each other before you became roommates?"

"So I'll answer this one first, since it may be less obvious than the other two." Abi says. "I actually never knew Dan and Phil personally before moving in with them when Dan saved my necklace from the train tracks in 2013, but I did watch their videos. I was a bit of a fangirl."

"What, Dan, you did physical activity?" Phil says in a sarcastic tone. "Amazing!"

"Shut up." Dan says, blushing. "She was a game changer, I promised you."

Silence followed.

"Can we edit that one out?" Dan and Abi ask at the same time.

"Not a chance." Phil smirks.

"As for Phil and I," Dan says, "I think it is pretty explainable. Met in 2009, moved in to a flat in Manchester, moves to London in 2012, met Abi a year late. We knew each other before moving in, as most of you know, but met in person in 2009."

"Do we really need a recap for that?" Abi asks with a wink. "Most phangirls can write a whole biography about your history as 'Phan'."

"Did we mention Abi is an annoying phangirl?"

"Shut up." Abi says, and Phil rolls his eyes.

"Too much shutting up for one video. Drinking game for every time says 'shut up' in this video."

"Later." Dan winks.

"Next question!" Abi whines. Dan laughs, and throws the first card beside him, and reads out question number 2.

"What did you guys initially think of each other when you first met?" Dan asks. "Phil first."

"Well, meeting Dan at the train station in 2009," Phil starts off. "First thing I thought was 'wow, what a small guy'."

"Who happens to be 6'3 now!"

"Hey, I'm 6'2.9!"

"Hurry, Phil!"

"And when I met Abi, I was kind of reluctant of letting her stay, if I could be honest." Phil admits. "I mean, she knows that I was a bit hesitant of letting a stranger move in with us. Of course, later on, when she cooked delicious food for us, I was good."

Abi rolls her eyes. Again.

"When I met Phil, I thought 'oh my god, he's real!' since, as most of you know, I am Phil Trash #1." Dan says with a smirk. "When I met Abi, it was kind of weird. I was the tall emo guy who jumped on train tracks to get her necklace, and it was awkward to get on the tube with her, so we kind of just stayed quiet. I thought you were...interesting, to say the least."

"When you say someone's interesting, that means they're weird!" Abi says, crossing her arms. "Offensive."

"Adorable."

"Shut up - "

"Take a shot, viewers!" Phil interrupts, and Abi reaches across Dan to punch Phil in the leg. Phil laughs.

"When I met Dan and Phil, I was kind of hesitant to talk to them, since I am a socially awkward beanbag, but they were nice, so I was glad my YouTube idols weren't annoying divas that asked for tea every six seconds."

"Hey!" Phil says with a grin. "Stereotypical."

"Question number 3; how long did it take until you became friends?" Dan asks from the card.

"Dan and Phil were friends as soon as they made out at the train station as far as we know - "

"Not true!" Dan interrupted.

" - but I can say on behalf of everyone it took a week for them to get used to me."

"Well, what can I say?" Dan says with a sly grin. "It's hard to not befriend someone when they are equally better at Mario Kart then Phil is."

"Shut up!" Phil says, blushing.

"Take a shot!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Take another one!"

The three are laughing now, and Dan wipes the tears from his eyes as he reads the next question.

"What do you guys usually argue about?" Dan reads, and Phil raises his hand.

"Phil, it's not a schoolroom." Dan says, chuckling.

"Gah, Dan, stop!" Abi says, holding her heart. "Flashbacks."

"Remind me to add a school bell in the background." Dan says with a laugh, and Phil rolls his eyes.

"I speak on behalf of everyone that it is definitely what TV show to watch while eating dinner." Phil says, and Dan and Abi nod vigorously.

"This is so true, you have no idea." Dan agrees.

"I dunno, I think a conflicting one is what to have for dinner. These boys are always for Asian food, which I have nothing against, but Chinese takeout and pizza every night can get a bit worrisome, don't you think?"

"At least we're not vegan." Dan points out.

"True." Abi says with a giggle.

"Number five!" Dan wiggles his five fingers. "What is one that really bothers your roommate that you do? Abi, go first?"

"Sure." Abi thinks about it, before answering, "I think it's blaring my music at really late hours."

"That is true!" Phil exclaims. "As much as I love Muse, I don't need to hear Megalomania blaring at 2 in the morning."

"That bothers you?" Dan asks. "I dunno, I like listening to Matt Bellamy at the late hours of dawn."

"Whatever, now you're Muse trash #1." Abi snorts, and Dan answers next.

"I think it's my singing in the shower. They are all incredibly blunt about it, but I find it to be a gift to them."

"If a gift is bleaching out my ears." Phil mutters, and Dan just tackles him playfully.

"Mine is -"

"Eating our cereal!" Dan and Abi interrupt Phil at the same time, and Phil buries his face behind his hands.

"I was going to say socks. Or leaving cabinets open." Phil grins cheekily. "There's a bunch of them, to be honest."

"I second that." Dan says, and Phil laughs. Abi does as well, not regretting her choice at all.

"Question number six," Dan reads, "What does he/she think of your YouTube?"

Dan bites his lip, thinking of an answer before answering, "Well I think my YouTube is great, you should totally subscribe, get this to 10 000 likes and I'll give all of you a free hug from the internet..."

Abi snorts. "Yeah, they're okay. Not that good though, calm down."

"You better be kidding!"

"Am I?"

"I will slap you."

"Domestic violence!"

"Stop it, you too!" Phil says - barely though, since he is in hysterics himself.

"Phil's YouTube channel is the only reason I joined YouTube, and Abi, you don't have a YouTube channel, do you?" Dan pauses, accusingly pointing his finger at her, "Unless you are secretly the person controlling Pewdiepie's robot and mind-wiping everyone into subscribing."

Abi laughs. "No YouTube here, but in all honesty, Dan and Phil's YouTube videos are great. Hashtag not sponsored."

Phil smiles at that. "Why thank you, Abigail."

"Shut -" Abi stops herself and grins. "Be quiet, Lester."

Phil snaps his fingers in annoyance, and Dan reads out the next question.

"Who spends most of the time getting ready in the morning?"

"Dan." Abi and Phil answered at once.

Dan groans. "Moving on -"

"No, not moving on!" Abi says, reaching across from Dan to block his face. "Dan wakes up super late before he has to go to some BBC thing, and I know Phil is screaming at him, telling him to get ready and stuff, but Dan is taking too long to fix his hair -"

"I hate my hobbit hair!" Dan protests, pushing Abi off their laps. Abi just smirks.

"I know a bunch of people who like it."

"Yeah, surprised."

"Hey, shut up!"

"Take a shot, ladies and gentlemen!"

"Phil, you're getting the audience wasted." Dan says between laughs. "By now, they'll forget to even subscribe and like."

Phil winks. "I'll brain wipe them to subscribe to mine!"

All of them are in hysterics now, and Dan just carries on.

"What is something you didn't notice about each other until you became roommates?" Before anyone could answer, Dan added, "And let's try to aim for more positivity this time, alright, you immature rats?"

Abi smiles. "I didn't know Dan was a great piano player. I mean, I knew that he played the piano, but I never thought he was that good in real life. I also didn't know that he plays when he is sad and stuff, so in the middle of some nights, I just hear him playing, and that's how I know I need to comfort him with Malteasers."

Dan stays quiet. Phil shyly smiles.

"So is that positive enough?"

"Yeah, it is." Dan says, blushing, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I also didn't know that Phil was a terrific singer." Abi says cheekily. "Like, he can sing. And not in the joking way, but he can actually sing. You should try out for the X-Factors or something, Phil!"

"Aw, thanks, Abi!" Phil says, beaming. "I am quite the singer."

"What was something you didn't know about Phil, Dan?" Abi asks sweetly, and Dan is a bit too stunned to even process a thought. The new information was certainly...something, but he just shook it off for a while and answered.

"I didn't know Phil could be as understanding as he was on Skype."

Phil blushes for the umpteenth time in the video. "Uh, thanks, Dan."

"I also didn't know that Abi could play the ukulele until I overheard her one night." Dan admits, and Abi raises an eyebrow quizzically.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think it was the same night Phil blew up a popcorn bag."

"Hey, that was an accident!" Phil retorts, but Abi ignores it.

"You are really good at playing the ukulele."

Abi shrugs. "Used to play the guitar, but then thought that the ukulele would make me feel like Tyler Joseph."

"Of course!" Phil laughs.

"You?" Dan asks Phil.

"Um...I didn't know Abi was so good at Mario Kart until I cried for hours after she totally dominated me. I also didn't know that Dan has a lot of habits. Like how he fiddles with end of his fringe when he is nervous, or how he always taps his feet every second when he is impatient for something."

"I do?" Dan asks, his voice airing higher.

"Yeah, you do." Abi says, rolling her eyes. "Every time you wait for a video to buffer, I have to get earplugs."

Dan laughs, and asks the next question.

"Do you guys sometimes get fed up with each other from seeing each other too often?"

"I think I can speak for everyone that sometimes." Phil answers smoothly, all three of them trying to forget the past month or so. "I mean, when Dan or I am stressed from YouTube stuff, we tend to snap at each other. When Abi is stressed, she snaps at us. So if we get fed up with seeing each other too often, we kind of just space out from each other for until we are good. We don't normally get fed up from seeing each other too often. I just think we snap sometimes."

Abi gulps, and shakily laughs. "Well said."

"How do you avoid tension while living together?" Dan asks, and laughs.

"It's obviously by watching anime and playing video games." Abi answers promptly.

"But playing video games usually causes tension." Dan points out. Abi shrugs.

"It depends on how bad you are. Me, I'm fantastic. You too? It's questionable."

"You suck!" Phil says jokingly, hitting her with a pillow. Abi grins.

"And you swallow."

"And you have the maturity of an sixth grader!" Phil retorts, and Abi laughs hysterically.

"She's laughing because it's true." Dan says at the camera, smirking.

"Next question, doofus!" Abi says, and Dan just shrugs.

"What is the one rule you guys have while living together?"

"Always talk." Abi answers, smiling. "Always talk to each other, because we'll understand."

"That's actually a rule Phil and I made back in...what, 2010?" Dan asks, looking at Phil. Phil just smiles, and replies, "Yeah, I think. We made that rule just so we don't have to hire a therapy session for all the bad things life throws at us."

"Couldn't have said it any better." Abi says, beaming.

"How do you deal with sharing a bathroom?" Dan asks, already smiling because he knew the answer.

"Well, to put it simply, we don't." Dan answers, and Phil nods vigorously.

"It's hard to share a bathroom with a girl, since Dan and I usually use the same stuff, but Abi has this whole deep conditioning thing I will never understand, along with a few trays of makeup in random places, so I don't know if I am using toothpaste, or another makeup thing."

"Too soon, Phil." Abi shudders. "Maybe we should start labels."

"Do you make two separate dinners at night?" Dan asks, before wrinkling his nose. "Do we actually  _have_ dinner?"

"Not really," Abi says after some thought. "We kind of just eat whenever while watching TV. But if the boys are at work, I will happily cook some stir fry for when they're done. I might eat if they take a long time, but we usually eat together on the sofa, ruining our spines."

"Couldn't have said it better." Phil beams. "And your stir fry is amazing, Abi."

"Thank you! Maybe I'll be on the Great British Bakeoff one day."

"As long as you don't burn down the flat again -"

"Moving on!" Abi squeaks, her accent rising an octave. Dan stifles his laugh as he continues on.

"Nationalities?"

"We're all British." Abi answers.

"Lemme check, just to be sure." Phil straightens up, and begins to talk in an overdramatic accent. "Tip top! Lovely day for some tea and crumpets, governor!"

"I still find that offensive, and I am British." Dan says, and Phil laughs, covering his mouth.

"Do you use your roommates' things without asking?" Dan says, tilting his head. "Interesting question. I think Phil can answer this one."

"Well, we fall under the British stereotype of saying 'sorry' a lot and being overly polite, so we usually ask. If it is really important, we know not to betray the other's trust, if that makes sense? We don't try to be rude to others."

"That being said," Abi adds, "this rule doesn't necessarily mean for food."

"We should move on!" Phil squeaks, and Dan just looks at him accusingly.

"Whatever Mr. Cereal Killer, with a 'C'." Dan says flatly. Phil stifles his blush behind his hands, and Abi just smirks.

"What are your favorite things to do with each other?"

Dan raises his eyebrows suggestively at the camera, quietly reminding himself to put the Lenny face or something, but Abi just pushes him off the bed, resulting into more laughter from everyone else.

"Video games and eating." Phil answers bluntly. "Let's move on before anyone gets ideas."

Dan wipes the tears of laughter from his eyes, and continues.

"What happens when one person gets sick?" Dan asks, and faces Abi.

"Wear masks." Abi answers, and Dan rolls his eyes.

"Shut up, you." he replies. "Actually."

"Wear masks and drive to the nearest pharmacy to pick up medicine for the other that doesn't do shit, and make them drink loads of tea?"

"Now that's more accurate." Phil says. "Though we do ask Dan to play piano."

"Why you ask?" Abi says. She grins, leaning against Dan. "Because it's fun to embarrass Danny boy over here."

Dan blushes madly, and asks the next question without any hesitation.

"Have you thought about having pets?" Dan asks.

"Well this is where Striker comes into the picture!" Phil says proudly, holding up Striker in his hands. "As you may have seen through all the photos, we have a dog! Since we are moving into an actual house in London, we can actually have a pet now, so he's loads of fun."

"Though Phil's always wanted a hamster."

"But we never buy one for...certain reasons." Dan says, shuddering.

"Please tell me you added a hat and a hamster animation or something."

"I will, don't worry. Cut into our editing time."

"It'll be worth it for the lols." Phil says, and Dan shrugs.

"True point."

"Number nineteen!" Dan exclaims. "What is the funniest thing you've done together?"

"I think it is living together." Abi answers, and Phil laughs, clapping.

"That is definitely the answer. Let's not add anymore!" Dan grins.

"Last question; has being roommates helped or hurt your relationship?"

All three are silent - this is where Dan would've put the crickets sound effect - before Dan clears his throat and smiles.

"A little bit of both, that's for sure." he says honestly, and they all chuckle a bit.

"It's made me love and hate these boys a little more, if I can be honest." Abi answers.

"And I think it's made us learn new things, to steal something from LessAmazingPhil." Phil winks, and Dan smiles, knowing that the memories they repressed were out in a secret way. Before anyone could go on, he decided to stop.

He says some last words and thanks, and adds the subscribe page.

"You can subscribe to me by clicking on my face!" Dan says, waving his hands around his head. "And you can subscribe to Phil by clicking on his face right here! Abi, do you have any social media you want to hashtag-shameless-self-promo before we leave?"

Abi fiddles with her thumbs. "I have a Tumblr account, where I review music and stuff like that. The username is this -"

So she spills her secret Tumblr with no regrets (kind of) and they end the video, all of them breaking out in smiles.

* * *

Her Tumblr account hits 1.3 million at the end of the day.

It's astonishing because half of them are phandom members, congratulating her for coming out of the shadows, but half of them - to her relief - actually followed because of the content, saying it was brilliant and what not.

The comments on the posted video were great; most of them were supporting of Abi, and hardly none of them insulted Abi. If they did, Dan would just block them or ignore them, leaving the phangirls to go and defend them. At the end of the night, there is already a page for Abi in the Dan and Phil wikia, which she finds amazing.

As she scrolls through comments with Dan and Phil, eating popcorn, one comment stands out above the rest.

_**endtheroomie** _

_decided to show your face, huh, roomie? bad choice. now i know everything i need._

Dan deletes the comment right away, blocking and reporting the user. Phil raises an eyebrow.

"Why did you do that so quickly? Those things don't bother you much." Abi asks quizzically as Striker sat at their legs.

Dan sighs. "When I was at the hospital, waiting for Abi, I got this text from a girl who goes by the name 'endtheroomie'. She got my personal number, and she threatened Abi, and she sounds like a nuthouse. She is basically a phangirl gone wrong, and it freaks me out that she found my number."

"Dan, if this happened before, shouldn't you call the police?" Abi asks worryingly, not liking the sound of anything Dan said.

"I will if it gets worse, but she can't do anything...right?"

Phil and Abi exchange looks, before deciding to ignore it and read through more nicer comments as the video played on.

_'She's just another phangirl,'_ Dan thinks as he pops another piece of popcorn into his mouth, chewing it slowly.  _'Nothing big.'_

* * *

_The girl pulls up a location on Google Maps of a house in London. She grins as she saves the address; now that wasn't hard, and they haven't even moved in yet. She was excited to tell her friends, but remembered that half of them won't care, so she shrugs and continues._

_She frowns when she sees that Dan had reported her,_ _blocked her, and deleted her account._

_'Oh well.' she thinks. 'We can play it that way as well'._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	16. It's Out With The Old, And In With The New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's out with the old, and in with the new; goodbye skies of grey, hello skies of blue."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_**Chapter 16: It's Out With The Old, And In With The New** _

A few weeks later, Abi's cast is removed, and they begin hauling boxes into moving trucks. This time, they got to keep all the furniture they love, so they took advantage of that; they brought the sofa - with the infamous sofa crease - they brought their paintings, their pictures, the TV they had bought, and even the wardrobe. Even if they still had to buy a bit more furniture, they were content with what they have.

As Abi carried yet another box down the long flight of stairs, she felt a nudge from behind her. She turned around, and - surprise, surprise - it was Dan.

"Stop it, you spork." Abi says, looking at him over his shoulder, adjusting her messy bun. "You keep that up, you might lose me, and then there will be one person less to pay the rent for our next place."

"Oh shut up." Dan snickers. "We make so much money, we are basically bathing in it."

"But your social skills?" Abi retorts.

"Oi!"

Abi laughs, and Dan cuts through her, dashing in front of her.

"Last one down is a rotten egg!"

"Alright, two year old! You're on!" Abi grins, running down the stairs. Dan is on the second platform before another set of stairs, and Abi is running down with the box covering her view. This is how she forgets there's another step, and begins to lose balance.

"Shit!" Abi exclaimed, attempting to grab onto the railing, twisting her body to grab it. Unfortunately, she fails, and the box of clothes falls on her. She falls back, and Dan turns around to see everything occur. Eyes wide, he extends his arms out and catches Abi in his arms.

"You good?" Dan asks, suddenly worried. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made your run down stairs, especially since you were carrying a box of clothes. That was stupid. I am stupid. But are you okay? No broken arms -"

"Daniel James Howell, I'm fine." Abi says, looking up at him. She realized that he was carrying her bridal style, and the box of clothes were right beside them. "It was my fault, anyway; I should've been more aware. And maybe should've lost the competitive streak."

Dan hesitates, nodding, before adding with a smirk, "Well, I forgot you couldn't see over the box, since you are, like, an elf."

"At least I am not a towering giant!" Abi smirks, and Dan just laughs. Abi wiggles in Dan's arms. "Put me down, you oaf."

"Never!" Dan growls jokingly, spinning Abi around. She squeals.

"Careful! You might drop all of us!" Abi said between giggles, and Dan just grinned.

It feels like an eternity, staring at each other in the eye. They still have goofy smiles on their face, and Abi's hair is brushing against Dan's arm. They look at each other, not saying a word, and standing still for a very long time before -

_Click._

Dan and Abi's eyes go wide, both of them breaking eye contact and looking at the top of the staircase. It's Phil, holding his phone in his hand, Striker right at his feet. They both look at Phil, smiling embarrassingly.

"Did you just take a picture of us?" Abi squeaks, a bit more nervously than she intended.

Phil grins as he sends the photo to both Dan and Abi. "Well, you guys were staring at it each other for so long; a picture would last you guys longer."

Dan and Abi blush as Dan gently drops Abi to her feet.

"Surprise you carried me for that long," Abi mutters quietly.

"Shut up." Dan replies.

Phil laughs, and he carries cans of paint down with them. Abi grabs the box again, and Dan picks up the lamp he was carrying as he goes down more flights of stairs.

"This is getting scarily close to exercise." Dan groans when they get to the bottom of the stairs, letting the moving guys carry them over to the moving trucks.

"Lazy ass." Abi smiles, and they know things are no longer awkward, because they share a very real and non-embarrassed laugh as they go back up with Striker.

When they go upstairs, they stop at the front of the lounge, sucking breaths as they take in the atmosphere.

It's surprisingly tidy and plain. The once colourful space was taken up with bare walls and scratched floors. There was almost nothing in the room, and it looked slightly more emptier than it once was. When they got the place, they saw potential. Now, when they left it, they saw memories they have to give away.

"I just realized," Phil murmurs, breaking the silence. "Those boxes were the last of them."

They stay silent, as if mourning a loss. Dan bites his lip and Abi looks at where the couch used to be. She remembers falling asleep on the shoulder of the two British boys, and finding cereal bits and Striker's kibble in between cushions. She remembered the lounge as her first hope of a family, when playing twenty questions with Dan and Phil. Now, in the space that was once that couch, was an empty wall with the faint outline of one.

"So that's it, huh." Dan says quietly. "We're leaving."

"Not for a while." Abi says. "The landlord said he's coming at five. We have thirty minutes."

Phil smiles. "Thank god. I need to sit down."

"There's no couch, Phil." Dan points out.

"There's a floor." Phil grins. "Not good enough?"

"Well, Daniel here needs a nest for his bird ass." Abi smirks, and Dan just rolls his eyes at the two, getting to where the couch used to be and sat down, leaning on the bare wall. Striker trotted beside him, spinning in a circle before curling up in a ball. Phil smiles, and sits right beside Dan. Abi does the same, and it isn't until then that they realize they've been in this position before.

"Deja vu much?" Abi whispers, barely audible.

Phil grins. "Yeah. I remember this."

"December 11th, I think. 2013." Dan continues. "It was the day that I brought a 5'8" hobo into our house with messy hair and a golden necklace. It was the day where I saw Phil be responsible and me be reckless."

Phil laughs, his head leaning back on the bare walls. "It's kind of like you bought a dog without me knowing. Complete opposite of what the subscribers would think. Usually, it'd be me stuffing the pets in my closet."

"I'm right here you know!" Abi says, giggling. "The closet you stuffed me in was a spare room."

"True." Dan responds. "I think that was the best metaphor ever."

They all share a laugh, and as Dan pets Striker on the head, watching his ears flop back. Dan smiles.

"We went from being two dorks in front of a camera in 2009, to being roommates, proper YouTubers with over ten million subscribers to each channel we have, and a best girl who is a friend. We go outside, we have a dog, and we are going on a US tour in a month."

"Dan, stop it, or you'll make everybody cry, including me." Phil says shakily, his voice cracking as a tear rolled down his cheek. He wipes it before it can dribble down, but Abi leans on Phil's shoulder when she sees it.

"It has been a crazy three years or so." Abi says, looking at the room. "I can't believe I'm lucky enough to have spend it with you, dorks."

"You too, nerd." Dan says, poking Abi's arm. She smiles.

They continue to reminisce about memories; when they announced their book, when they went on the UK tour, when they lost a bunch of Brit Award speeches, and where they filmed the most important videos they ever made in their lives. It was where they reached their one million subscribers, and achieved even more. They laughed, remembering the first day Abi came into their lives, and when they made DanAndPhilCRAFTS, and DanAndPhilGAMES. It was where they met most of their friends, and hanged out with some more. They recounted the times they got Striker, and when they made pancakes that almost burnt down the house. They even remembered the best and worst times in their friendship.

"It's a new beginning." Abi whispers. "A brand new beginning."

"I know, but personally, I just hope our new house brings more achievements." Phil dreamily sighs.

"DanAndPhilCRAFTS hits 1 000 000 subscribers?" Dan asks, and Abi laughs.

"The Vegas video will finally be released." she adds.

"Maybe it'll be the place where we pack for our The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire in space." Phil laughs.

"Let's aim for Europe first, Phil; I don't think I am ready for that much exercise."

They laugh, and when they remain silent for five minutes, quietly taking in the atmosphere, Abi looks at the two boys.

"This place was always so colourful." she says quietly. "Now it's a white and brown void."

"Just like I want it to be." Dan smirks.

"Can we paint our house?" Phil asks. "I bought paint cans not only for a video challenge, but for an actual paint-down of the house. I can buy more, but I feel like this house is where we'll stay for a few years, or maybe forever."

"I'd like to paint my room green." Abi muses. "I know I have a velvet red going on in my room, but mint green sounds nice."

"I'd say black because it'd match my aesthetic, but I would want mine black so I can paint stars or something. I want to see a night sky, since I don't go outside much, and it is my favorite kind of time."

"I want to paint my room blue." Phil shrugs. "Just 'cause."

Abi smiles. "We can do that."

A knock comes from the door, and they all exchange looks; it's time.

Phil carries Striker, and the three stand up and go to the top of the staircase. They look back at the lounge one last time, and walk down, one after the other. They look at the empty bathroom door with no One Direction poster, and they smile to themselves all the way down.

The landlord stands there, his hand extended. Phil fishes through his pocket and pulls out the keys. With a sad smile, Dan and Abi watch as Phil single handedly places the key in the landlord's hand.

"Thanks for everything." Abi gushes. "We really appreciate it."

"Good luck in your new home." The landlord says in a monotone voice with very little sincerity, but enough for them.

"Please make sure the person who comes into our apartment next will treat this place with care." Dan says. "And let them know that there aren't too many damages; just don't move the houseplants."

The landlord raises an eyebrow, and Abi elbows Dan. He winces, and rolls his eyes.

"Seeya." Phil says quickly, exchanging a small smile, and walked out the door. Dan and Abi follow.

Abi sobs a bit as they climb into a taxi.

"It's out with the old and in with the new." Abi whispers quietly as they made the car ride home.

"Fabulous." Dan replies just as quietly, and Phil grins, holding Striker in his hands and looking outside the window.

Abi does as well, watching cars and building zooming past her sight.

Dan looks behind him as the apartment building gets smaller and smaller, until it's no longer in view anymore.

After thirty minutes, they reach the new house. Dan fishes for the new keys, and unlocks the door to their new house.

When they step into a new atmosphere, with wooden floors and windows and yet more stairs, they all smile.

"Welcome home." Abi murmurs with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I can update next week, since the week after is when I am going to Ottawa for a week, but no promises. This chapter was a tad short, and so will the next one probs, so maybe I can. Who knows ;) If I can't update before next week, sorry this is so short :P
> 
> Anyway, review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	17. Someone Can Love You More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pizza, Elvis (which they all can dig) and Phil's bubble-gum-chewing-pink-dress-American princess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_**Chapter 17: Someone Can Love You More** _

Abi rolls on her sheet-less bed as she stares at the ceiling.

Her new room was big, and, as much of a 12 year old she was, it made her excited. As soon as she looked at the room, she immediately saw the potential in it; where a desk would go, where she would put her bookshelf, and where her old record player that her grandpa gave her would go.

Her clothes are all in boxes, along with her stuff, but, of course, her laptop is already resting right beside her. She goes on Tumblr for a while, logging in to see that a few more people had followed her blog. She smiles, and scrolls down a bit.

Ever since Abi had introduced her music review blog to Dan and Phil's audience, her followers have multiplied by millions. And the good thing was that every single one of them loved her for her content, and not because she was related to Dan and Phil's franchise. It felt good to have a following; was this what Dan and Phil feel every day?

She begins to start an album review on Halsey's album 'Badlands,' since she listened to it tons of times, and as she types down the first few words in a document, her bedroom door opens with a wide swing.

Abi jumps, shutting her laptop quickly. She looked up to see familiar brown eyes.

"Dan, Jesus Christ, please knock." Abi says with a small smile. "Honestly, I could've been naked or something."

"That's something I'd love to see." Dan replies with a smirk.

"Oi!" Abi growled. "You are bloody horny now, aren't ya?"

"Nope, just a bad friend."

"Whatever, perv." Abi says, rolling off the bed and onto her feet. She stands at the doorframe, leaning against it.

"So what gives you the reason to intrude my personal space?"

"Well," Dan says with a smile, pushing her aside to sit on her bed. "we have plans tonight."

"We?" Abi questions. "We actually have plans? With actual  _people_?"

"C'mon, Abi, don't be so surprised."

"You think that becoming friends with YouTubers with get me more friends."

"Shut up."

"Are you guys coming or what?" Phil's voice echoes from the lounge. "You know how I don't like to be late to things, and I'd very much want to avoid traffic today. Besides, we don't even know where this place is, so we need to call a taxi or something and get on a move."

"Can you at least tell me where I'm going?" Abi says, rushing out of the room. She nearly trips on stairs she forgot weren't at the entrance of the house - "Dammit, I still need to get used to the layout of this house." "Whatever your excuse is, klutz." Dan retorts - and runs down the staircase. She gets to the living room and smiles.

It's a bit empty, but not too empty, considering they already had most of their furniture. They had the same couch with the exception of a black loveseat that came with the place, and the same red, pixel like mirror hanging on the wall above a fireplace. They had their paintings lined up on the walls, and a huge TV in front of the couch, with their tangled consoles. There were big windows, and the wooden floors were newly placed and shiny. Phil was near the kitchen, which was completely open to the living room.

"PJ and Sophie invited us for dinner at a 50's pizzeria near his place." Phil says, pouring some food into Striker's bowl, which was next to the kitchen island. "He said it was to celebrate the new house, the new roommate, the new dog, and TATINOF in America. It's supposed to be really cool."

"Phil, you can't just pour this on us." Abi groans. "I still haven't unpacked my clothes yet."

"Like you have nice ones." Dan says behind her.

"Hey, I let you stuff some of my old tees in your chest for videos, so I think I have great taste. And so does your chest, if you know what I mean."

Dan blushes, and Phil just laughs.

"You argue like an old couple," Phil complains, throwing a pillow at Dan's head.

It bounces off Dan's chest, and he smirks.

"Don't start a pillow fight with me, Lester." Dan growls with a grin.

Abi crosses her arms, and steps between the crossfire. Dan holds the thrown pillow in his hands, and Phil blocks Striker protectively with two pillows in each hand.

"Look, you immature rats." she says with a smile. "I never wanted to start a war. Now come on, nerds, because all of us need to get dressed." Phil opens his mouth to try and respond, but Abi cuts him off with a blunt, "Now!" and walks to her room to change.

Dan and Phil exchange looks, Phil's knees digging into the couch.

"Truce?" Dan asks.

Phil shrugs, and Dan nods, turning his head to walk back, but feels a pillow collide at the back of his head. He turns around slowly to see Phil cheekily smiling behind him with his hand extended forwards. Dan gives him a look, and Phil just grins.

"She's not looking."

Dan grins as he chasing Phil back, hopping onto a couch with a pillow in his hand.

"You're on, Lester!" Dan yells, hopping to the black loveseat while dodging a pillow Phil swings over his head. "Let's see how amazing you really are behind that camera! Because you are about to feel the wrath that appears when Dan Howell  _is_ on fire!"

"You're going to pay for that pun!" Phil screams, letting out a battle cry, and rolling off the couch to the ground to land a hit on Dan's knee, knocking him to his back onto the couch. Dan laughs, wrestling Phil onto his back. Dan, on top, was hitting Phil with the pillow lightly. Phil squeals and flips him off. He is about to land a hit when they hear a camera snap.

They turn around to see Abi, already dressed in a white summer dress with red cherries, and her hair up in a messy bun. She held a phone in her hand, and the remains of a flash blur in their eyes. Striker trots towards Abi, nuzzling at her feet. She grins.

"Five minutes, boys, or this goes on Twitter for the Phandom to debate. I've already sent it to you."

Dan and Phil scramble to their feet and up the stairs, slamming their doors in unison. Abi smiles, and she flops on the couch, fixing the cushions and pillows.

Seconds after Dan and Phil come down, Abi hears her phone buzz to see that Dan posted it on Twitter anyway. She opens it up and sees that Phil retweeted and replied to his tweet.

**_danisnotonfire | Dan Howell_ **

_roomie just snapped a photo of amazingphil and I having a pillow fight. what happened before is up to you._

She smiles at the picture, then scrolls down to see Phil's tweet.

_**AmazingPhil | Phil Lester** _

_what happens in the new living room stays in the new living room._

* * *

They arrive at seven sharp at the pizzeria. When they walk in, they look around in awe.

Just as PJ promised, it was just liked a 50's diner, with aqua coloured walls, and sliver, bumpy edges around the tables. Soft, cushioned, yellow chairs circled the tables, and the floor was covered in black and white square tiles. A jukebox stood in the corner, and there are people dancing around it to Elvis. Hung on the walls were vinyl cases that Abi secretly fangirled for, and black and white pictures.

A waitress on roller-skates whizzed past Abi, dressed in a pink and white dress with poodles.

"This place is sick." Abi says.

"Please never say 'sick' again. We are nerds, not gangsters." Dan replies, not taking his eyes off the place.

"Okay, stop with the bants you two." Phil says with a smirk. "I think I see PJ and Sophie in the corner there. We should go before one of these roller-skating waitresses decide to roll over my brand new shoes."

Phil points to the corner, and, just as he said, Abi sees PJ and Sophie in a booth in the corner, which was connected to an old car. Abi smiles, and motions for Dan and Phil to follow. They walk to their table, dodging roller-blading waiters and waitresses, and PJ stands up.

"If it isn't the secret threesome!" he greets, hugging them all at once. Abi rolls her eyes.

"You wish, Mr. Smooth." Abi replies, ruffling his hair. "I miss you so much! Haven't seen you since New Year's!"

"Miss you too, b-Bug." PJ grins.

"And Sophie, oh my god, it's been too long!" Abi says with a smile. "I haven't seen you since that Christmas you went to Dan and Phil's! Man, it's been a while. And I love your scarf! Looks pretty on you." Abi then adds with a cheeky smile, "I hope you remember me"

"Of course I remember you!" Sophie giggles. "You are the one who almost knocked into the Christmas tree, then broke a wine glass. And thank you!"

"Yeah, that happened." Abi says with a blush.

"Come, sit; I've already ordered your favourites, so they should be coming soon. Then we can actually dance." PJ says with a smile, scooting over for Phil to sit beside him. Dan and Abi sat across from them, and, as if on cue, a waiter rolled up with their pizza.

"So I got pepperoni, meat special, and veggie pizza!" Sophie says with a smile as the three pizzas are laid in front of them. "And don't worry, Dan, you can take some home. Just please save some for us."

"Oh, come on, it can't be that bad." Dan says, before jokingly hugging all the three pizzas, to which everyone laughed.

They ate some pizza, laughing and exchanging funny stories. Eventually, it's been an hour, and they are done as much as they could finish. PJ looks towards the jukebox with a smile, lazily flipping a quarter in his hand, winking at Sophie.

"I got 25 cents, darling," he says with a sly grin. "Wanna dance?"

Sophie giggles. "Let's do it, Peej."

PJ goes to the jukebox, pops in his quarter, and chooses  _Jailhouse Rock_. He motions for Abi, Dan and Phil to come over and dance, and when Dan refuses, Abi just rolls his eyes and drags him to the dance floor, and they both dance.

Phil, still at the booth, stands to go and join them, but then realizes the bill still had to be paid. And, if he could be honest, he knew he wasn't a very good dancer.

For some reason, he felt sad that night as well; maybe it was because they just moved into a new house, or maybe it was because he was going on an American tour, and was pondering of how far he went - were these the crises that Dan had on a weekly basis?

It might've been because he saw Dan and Abi.

The two were dancing to the beat, and Dan attempted to do some sort of Elvis dance move. Abi begs him to stop thrusting, and they all laugh. Phil flops back in the booth seat, watching as their noses almost touched, and their smiles looked as if they could last forever...

"Excuse me, sir?"

Phil looks up, snapping out of his semi-trance to see a girl wearing a pink dress and white apron. She had red hair, and freckles. She was not that tall, but it didn't really matter to Phil. She looked young, however; maybe 25 or 24.

"Yes?" Phil asks sweetly, just like he always did.

The girl smiles. "Your bill?"

Phil sadly smiles, thanking her by a nod, and pays for it as the music transitions to  _Love Me Tender,_  and as Elvis' quiet voice allows all couples - including Dan, Abi, Sophie and PJ - to slow dance for a while. The girl sits beside Phil, and the sudden movement is a bit odd. She looks at him quietly, as if observing him.

"Hey, I'm giving you a good tip, don't worry." Phil chuckles.

The girl just puts her chin in her hand. "You're a cute fella, aren't ya? Shouldn't you be dancin' with ya girl?"

Her voice is accented, but it's not British; Phil can't really determine what accent she had, but knew she was from America. He smiles anyway, fiddling with the collar of his blue and green checkered polo shirt. He shyly looks up at the red-head.

"I-I..." Phil wonders why he is so nervous, but manages to speak. "I'm single."

 _Real smooth, Phil._ he thinks bitterly,  _Real smooth._

"Well, ain't it my lucky day." she says with a smile, extending her hand while chewing bubble gum. "I'm Rosalina Sals. But you can call me Rosa. Or your girlfriend, if you want to do either, which is fine with me."

She has a lot of confidence, Phil will give her that. When she winks at him, he blushes, shaking her hand while pushing up his black glasses.

"I'm Phil Lester." he says, praying she wouldn't recognize him -

"Oh, you're AmazingPhil!" she says, and Phil's face almost falls. "Yeah, my cousin watches your videos."

"How sweet." Phil says, keeping up his happy demeanour.

"But I don't care if you're famous or anything." Rosalina says with a grin. "I just care that you are attractive and that you are one of the most loneliest things that could be in this very diner. No nice boy like you should be all alone. I think you deserve someone."

Elvis' silky voice sings about love, and it reminds Phil of his longing for a new face, and a new romance. He braves a smile.

"Yeah, I shouldn't be lonely." Phil says with a confident smile. Rosa's mouth grows into a smile almost as big as his.

When he sees his friends come back, he stands and smiles.

"Thanks, Rosa. Hope I can see you again soon." he says, hugging her briefly. He heard her breath hitch, but he ignores that with a smile; he's a bit too happy to care about of that. He feels Rosa nuzzle against his back, and they pull apart when Dan, Abi, PJ and Sophie get into their view. They say their goodbyes.

As the four leave the diner, Rosa calls after Phil for the receipt, which he takes with a smile.

His smile grows when he looks at the bottom of the paper.

_someone can love you better ~rosa xx_

On the bottom is her number, and Phil pockets it with a small grin.

* * *

When they get home, Phil and Abi go straight to their rooms, but just as Dan leaves to his, he hears a knock from the door. Sighing, he trudges to the door, and opens it to find a package lying on the front of their steps. He looks down the street and sees the silhouette of someone walking away. He shrugs, closing the door, locking it, and opens the package.

He manages to pry it open, and sees a small note and a plastic bag. He can hear rain as he holds the note into the light.

_little snippet of how much i love you ~endtheroomie_

He holds up the plastic bag, his eyes widening.

A small locket of blackish hair shone in the light. There were streaks of ginger, and that's when it hits Dan.

It's Phil's hair.

Thunder roars when Dan gasps, covering his mouth before he can scream. He opens a window and frantically throws the package out the window, watching in terror as it is dissolved into water. He shuts the window with a soft bang, and stumbles up the stairs.

His vision is blurring, and his heartbeat raced.

 _Someone knows where we live._ he thinks in panic.  _Not even a few days in this house, and someone already knows the address. Someone has touched Phil and snipped off his hair. Someone knows where we are going. **Someone knows everything.**_

As he stumbles to his room in the hallway, he hears a camera click.

He stops immediately, and everything fades to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	18. Carry-On Luggage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Go and pack, tour roomie." Dan says with a small grin. "Or I'll consider stuffing you in a suitcase for the whole flight."
> 
> "Dan, don't say that!" Phil says with a grin. "Carry-on costs money!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> Thank you for all your kinds words; the amount of feedback I get on this story is absolutely incredible. You don't know how happy I feel to hear all your positive things about the story, and how I can make it better, so thank you so much. I love each and every one of you (I can't even name you all now, so here is a general shoutout :P)
> 
> This is short as well. Sorry not sorry :P
> 
> Side note: I added AU to the summary, since I guess this is considered an AU for the fact that they have a dog, have a house, have a roommate, and are still going on tour at the same time? So...AU now! Woo :P

_**Chapter 18: Carry-On Luggage** _

"Guys, for the last time, I am okay." Dan moans while watching Phil pack. "It was just one time, and that's it. I was feeling a bit dizzy last night anyway from all the dancing, so maybe that's why. Plus, I need to stop procrastinating and start packing, so don't pester me 'bout it."

"Dan, you'll never stop procrastinating." Phil says while folding one of his shirts, looking up at him. "And as much as I know you are a toughie, seeing you on the floor at midnight while unconscious is quite distressing. So please tell me if there is anything wrong, because you might actually be sick. And I don't want to get it. Oh my god, what if you end up fainting at the show?"

"Stop panicking, Phil, I won't faint at the show." Dan says, crossing his arms. "You'll fall, but I won't faint."

"Dan, please listen to Phil." Abi pleads. "I'll pack for you, just don't push yourself. Go lie down and rest; seeing you on the floor last night really scared me. I thought you've been abducted, or some crazy stalker kidnapped you."

Hearing the last six words made Dan stumble a bit. He let himself fall on Phil's bed. His face was a bit pale, and Abi was the first to notice.

"Dan, you look like you just seen a ghost." Abi mutters, sitting down beside him. She feels his forehead, and gasps. "I knew it! You are sick. Dan, you're literally boiling."

Dan shakes his head. "No I'm not. It's just...last night."

_phil's hair._

_black, streaks of ginger._

_someone knows where they live._

_someone knows everything._

_someone knows._

_"little snippet of how much i love you"_

"Dan?" Phil says, and Dan snaps out of his semi-trance. "You good?"

It was then when Dan realized that Phil had stopped packing and his head was pounding. Abi and Phil were sitting at both his sides now, and he just shakily smiles.

"Sorry, just got...l-lost in thought." Dan stutters a little.

Before Abi and Phil could say anything, Dan stands up quickly.

"I-I think I'm going to go pack now." he says hastily.

He opens his mouth to say something else, but instead, he closes it and walks out of Phil's room. Abi and Phil watch him go down the hall and into his room, almost bumping into Striker, and walking into his room. He closes the door with a small slam.

Abi and Phil exchange looks, and Abi shrugs.

"Do you want to help me run some lines for the last time?" Phil asks.

Abi cheekily smiles. "Alright. Don't expect any phan chemistry though."

* * *

As Dan packs his suitcase while listening to  _Origin of Symmetry_ for the umpteenth time, he hears a big crash and Abi screaming.

He shoots up quickly, paranoia shooting through him.

 _It could be them._ Dan think timidly, his worries racing.  _It could be them. They could be breaking in right now, kidnapping him, and stealing everything we own._

Dan drops the shirt he was folding and slams his door open. He runs down the hall, hopping over Striker and sliding across the wooden floors. He nearly tumbles down to the first floor of stairs when he sees it.

Phil's suitcase was open on the floor, with Phil looking at Dan with guilt in his eyes. Abi covers her mouth when she turns around.

"Uh, did I scream too loud?" Abi asks, rubbing the back of her neck. "Er, sorry. Phil just dropped his suitcase down the stairs."

Dan silently blows out a sigh of relief.

"Well, isn't that something new." he says sarcastically, covering up his fears with a smile.

"Hey! It's a heavy suitcase!" Phil defends. "Plus, Abi refused to help me, so you can blame her if you see scratches on our new wooden floors."

"It's dark wood, Phil, nobody will see any scratches." Abi says with a sigh as she runs down the spiral staircase. "Plus, if they do, they will know that it was probably one of us, and will ignore it. We are  _that_  predictable."

Phil huffs as he puts back all his clothes in the suitcase, folding them once more. As he folds the shirt he wore the night before, a small piece of paper slips out of the shirt pocket. Before he could pick it up, Abi beats him to it, grabbing it off the floor.

"What's this?" Abi says with a smirk. Dan's eyes widen, clearly intrigued, and he runs down the stairs. Phil chases Abi around the lounge to grab the piece of paper, but Abi climbs on the couch, ready to read the note aloud.

"It's just a receipt from the pizzeria we went to last night!" Phil whines, jumping a bit to try and grab it. "Now give it back before you lose it -"

"Why would it matter if you lost a receipt, Philly?" Dan teases.

"It is important to keep document of all your purchases." Phil defends himself, crossing his arms. "Besides, it was a...a very nice receipt?"

But Phil knew he lost when Abi unfolded the receipt and saw scribbled pen written across the bottom.

"Someone can love you better?" Abi reads aloud. "Rosa?"

"Say what?" Dan exclaims, and Phil flops on the loveseat, muttering as Striker hops on the couch alongside Dan. He peers at the receipt and shows it to Phil, the bold writing making Phil wince at the memory.

"There's a cell phone number on this!" Dan says loudly.

Phil groans in his hands. "No, Dan, it's just a random arrangement of numbers."

"That's not the point!" Abi says, hopping off the couch. "This is the waitress from last night, isn't it? The one that you were talking to before we left? The one that served us and stuff?"

"How do you know that?" Phil asks.

Abi scoffs. "It was on her name tag, dummy."

Phil sighs. "Okay, you're right. I got the waitress' number. But she gave it to me, so it wasn't much effort on my part. I just had to...be there and look cute, I guess."

Abi squeals, and Dan pretends to faint on the couch. Striker howls, which Phil thinks was the most offensive one out of the three.

"Oh my god, you player!" Abi says with a gleam in her eyes. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because I knew you'd make a big deal out of it!" Phil says with a meek smile. "Plus...I wanted to surprise you and stuff."

"Are you going to call her is the real question here." Dan says. "When you gonna put that number in your phone and save it is as 'my amazing sugar cupcake' or something?"

"My amazing sugar cupcake?" Phil repeats with a laugh. "That should've been my second channel name."

"Call her!" Abi says. "This Rosa chick seems really nice and stuff."

Phil contemplates on it for a while, and just sighs, walking to the bottom of the stairs throwing it into his suitcase.

"I'll call her later." Phil decides.

Everyone - including Striker - starts whining.

"Stop being such a procrastinator, Phil!" Dan exclaims. "Don't take it from me!"

"Whatever." Phil says with a chuckle. "Don't tell a soul."

* * *

Dan and Phil stand at the door with their suitcases as Abi carries her laptop under her arm. Striker sits at her feet, looking up at them.

"Alright, guys, have a great time in America!" Abi says, trying not to show any emotion when she adds, "And I'll miss you both. Striker and I will definitely miss you both. You guys have a great time."

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Phil asks. "You do know that we can get a friend to house sit."

"It's fine, guys." Abi reassures. "I already saw all your UK shows, so I think that is good enough for me. To be honest, your show gets boring after seeing it more than five times, and your jokes get a bit repetitive."

"Hey!" Dan exclaims.

Abi laughs, ruffling his hair. "Kidding, you spoon."

"Speaking of spoons, one should be appearing any time now..." Phil says, checking his watch. Abi raises her eyebrow when it happens.

The doorbell rings, and Striker barks a little. Abi holds him in his arms and Phil swings the door open to introduce two familiar faces.

"What the hell?" Abi says, gently dropping Striker to run around Chris and PJ.

"Ello, ello, love!" Chris announces. "Kickthestickz here, takin' over the Dan and Phil flat for three months!"

"Guys, are you being serious?" Abi says, smiling a bit. "You guys are letting Chris and PJ house sit for three whole months with me? That's not fair! I can't handle their annoying-ness."

"Annoying-ness isn't a word, B-Bug." PJ says. "And I thought you were going with them?"

Abi's eyes widen and Dan and Phil do some jazz hands.

"Surprise!" they sing-song. Abi covers her mouth, nearly crying. Phil smiles.

"Chris and PJ are taking care of Striker and the house for a while, and you are coming with us! You will be at every show -"

"Backstage, of course!" Dan breaks in. "Just in case you get abducted or something."

" - and you will go on the tour bus with us!"

"Guys I'm flattered, but aren't you a bit worried about someone seeing me? They might go all phan psycho." Abi reasons out. "There is no problem in me staying at home with Striker, and I was kidding about Chris and PJ... "

"I mean, that's hard when I already have an extra ticket." Dan says, tossing a ticket towards Abi. Her eyes widen, and there it is; a one way ticket to Florida for TATINOF: USA. She smiles widely as Chris pats her back.

"Can't you see?" he says with a teasing smile. "Danny boy wants to make out with you on the bus."

Abi and Dan blush, but Abi frowns.

"Isn't there one room in that tour bus?" Abi asks. "And only one with a TV?"

Dan and Phil exchange looks. PJ grins.

"So one of you are going to have to room together." PJ says. "I for one think it should be Abi and Dan."

"No, no." Dan says with a sheepish grin. "Phil and I can room together, since Abi is our guest. She can get the room with the TV and stuff..."

"Or you guys can room together and I let you have the TV as a reward?" Phil suggests. "Plus, Dan already won the room with the TV in a bet, and I...I kick in my sleep. So Dan will have to room with Abi."

Dan opens his mouth to protest, but Abi just shrugs.

"I'm cool with that, considering Dan is cool with that?" Abi says cooly, looking at the brunette.

He sighs, closing his eyes.

"Go and pack,  _tour_ _roomie._ " Dan says with a small grin. "Or I'll consider stuffing you in a suitcase for the whole flight."

"Dan, don't say that!" Phil says with a grin. "Carry-on costs money!"

Abi laughs and races up the stairs gleefully.

 _This may be the best three months of my life._ Abi says as she throws some clothes in a suitcase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	19. The Start of a Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of TATINOF comes and goes, and with it, comes the downfall of Abi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> Wowza, it's been like a month since I updated this story. Sorry about that; I've been writing for the Phandom Big Bang and the Phandom Little Pop. and it's been an eventful couple of days with trying to catch up - mainly for the Phandom Big Bang. (casual spon :P) But I am back, so hopefully I can be a little more consistent with chapters from now on. Thank you for your patience, and enjoy this fluffy chapter!

_**Chapter 19: The Start of a Journey** _

After Abi fixes her suitcase and says goodbye to PJ, Chris, and Striker, she joins Dan and Phil outside, where they take a cab to get on their plane. The ride is quiet for the most part, with Phil in the passenger seat and Dan and Abi in the back. Abi squeezes Dan's hand.

"I can't believe you're going to America for your tour," she says. Dan nods.

"It does feel surreal, that's for sure," Dan says, "I was dreaming of having a YouTube career from when I was in high school, and now I'm a internet cult leader with two best friends, a London flat, a dog, a book, and a tour. It makes me want to cry."

"Don't cry, Dan," Phil says from the front, " _craft._ "

Abi groans. "Shut up, Phil; the phandom references don't start until the you get on that stage and start performing in front of the phandom itself."

"I can't believe we have a fan-base!" Dan exclaims. "Abi, hold me before I start bawling."

"Here come the tears of a crisis," Abi mutters. "There, there, little boy. You'll be fine."

"Stop stroking me!" Dan laughs in Abi's shoulder.

"Behave yourself, you two," Phil says with a chuckle, "I don't want you guys to be like that for the whole plane ride, or I think I'll just throw myself off the plane and sky-dive all the way to the United States."

"Where is the first show?" Abi asks. Dan shrugs.

"I think it's at Playlist," Phil answers for him. "Hopefully it won't go terrible, and hopefully people will like it. Oh, and let's not forget if Dan accidentally swears, or if I fall off the stage, and then what if Abi falls _onto_ the stage and gets mobbed by thousands of fangirls -"

"Calm down, Phil," Abi says as the taxi cab stops at the airport. They get off to get their suitcases, and Abi just pats Phil's back. "You guys worked so hard for this; I'm witness to all of that. You and Dan made something absolutely incredible. And even when I watched every show, I just became so proud of how far you guys have come."

Phil blushes. "Thanks, Abi. That means a lot."

Dan fakes a sob, wiping imaginary tears from his eyes. Phil and Abi roll their eyes.

"Do you want to make me cry?" Dan says, dabbing a fake handkerchief at his eye. Phil smirks, and pays the taxi driver, as Abi and Dan unload the trunk, grabbing their suitcases and places it beside them. Abi smiles as she looks at her watch, tucking all their information for the security under her arm.

"So we have three hours until our flight, which will probably be spent going through airplane security," Abi says. "Hurry up, you guys!"

Dan groans. "I hate airplane security!"

Phil shrugs. "Suck it up, buttercup."

"Did you just call Dan _buttercup?_ " Abi asks incredulously, thanking the taxi driver and watching the guy speed off. Phil looks at Dan, and then at Abi, and blushes furiously. Dan laughs, and Abi rolls her eyes as she counts her luggage.

"Alright, we got my suitcase, Dan's suitcase, and Phil has his suitcase - "

"No I don't." Phil interrupts. Abi frowns.

"What do you mean you don't have your suitcase?" Abi asks. "I thought you unloaded it after paying the taxi driver?"

Phil shakes his head. "I thought _you_ unloaded my suitcase after paying the the taxi driver? I was busy trying to figure out how much I tip the guy after nearly sending us flying off the road and stopping for a bathroom break in a bush?"

Dan looks at the credit card in Phil's hand and snatches it out of his palm.

"Dude, is this _my_ credit card?" he asks. Phil just takes it back with a shrug.

"I forgot mine at home! It wasn't like I was going to use it anyway."

"So wait," Abi says slowly, "if _you_ don't have your suitcase, and _we_ don't have your suitcase..."

"Where is your suitcase?"

A loud honk from the taxi driver snaps them out of their thoughts, the man honking at the slow cars as he exited the airport drop-off zone. They all exchange nervous looks and Phil takes off running, Abi alongside him, as Dan drags his and Abi's suitcases.

"Wait up, taxi man!" Phil yells, his voice drowning out in the traffic. "You have my suitcase!"

* * *

"I can't believe that guy made us tip him twenty pounds!" Phil says, huffing as the three enter the airport. "Like, I forgot my suitcase! I don't have to tip you just because you almost crashed into a car! You're just a bad driver! Besides, it wasn't like _he_ was running along the road trying to get his attention."

"Give it a rest, Phil," Dan says, shaking his head as he collapsed on a seat. "Jesus Christ, I think my lungs are going to dribble out of my body!"

"I've never run so much in my life!" Abi pants, pulling Dan up. "But that doesn't mean we have to stop! We wasted fifteen minutes trying to catch that crazy bastard; you guys can tweet about it on the way to our final destination."

Dan sighs, giving in, and they dragged their suitcases all the way to the check-in, and then to airport security.

"I hate airport security," Dan mutters as Abi hands out their respective passports. "It always makes me feel uneasy. I know I am completely innocent, but what if I don't come off as innocent? What if I make a stupid joke like in that one deleted scene in _Friends_ when Chandler joked about bombs? I am a Chandler, Abi! _I am a Chandler!_ "

"But you're as annoying as Janice," Phil mutters, and Dan just smacks Phil in the arm as the wait in line.

They pass off conversation before they finally go into the security check.

Abi and Phil pass just fine, but then when it got to Dan, things got a little bit rough.

As he walked threw the full body security check, the signed beeped red. Dan looked horrified.

"Wait, what -"

To Abi and Phil's shock, three policemen pulled Dan aside and started scanning his body. Phil snickers, but Abi elbows him.

"What could he have been hiding?" Phil asks Abi quietly.

A policeman pulls out something silver, and Dan winces visibly. Abi frowns.

"Whatever that is, apparently," she mutters.

"Sir, what is this?" a security guard asks. Abi watches as Dan's face goes red.

"T-That's...a charm bracelet." he murmurs quietly.

"Why didn't you take it out before going through the security check?"

"I forgot that it was there, sir, and I...I was trying to hide it." Dan answers. Abi raises an eyebrow, and Phil bites his lip nervously, exchanging a small glance with Dan. Abi looks at Phil and frowns, turning towards him.

"Did you know about this, Phil?" Abi asks. Phil blushes.

"I may have something to do with this," he answers.

"Why were you trying to hide a charm bracelet? Is there something embedded inside it?" another guard growls.

Dan shakes his head. "N-No! I...It's for somebody. I didn't want to put it in my bag because I knew it'd lose it, so...so I put it in my pocket. But I totally forgot it was there, I swear, I wasn't trying to do any harm -"

"Why can't he stop talking?" Abi mutters, shaking her head. Phil just smiles.

"Who's it for?" the third guard asks.

Dan snatches it back. "None of your business!"

Abi nearly face-palms. Phil sighs. The three guards look at Dan, and his moment of bravery is over

"My friend over there," Dan mumbles, pointing towards Abi.

Abi frowns, and Phil hides a smile behind his passport.

"You got me a charm bracelet?" she asks. "What for?"

Dan looks at Abi and hands it to her.

"Well, before the whole car thing, and our big outburst, and before I knew you were still going to live with us, I wanted to get you a going-away present, to show that there were no hard feelings and everything. So I bought you this so you wouldn't forget us. Since that never happened, I figured I could give it to you to thank you for your decision and stuff."

Abi takes the charm bracelet slowly and examines it. There were three hearts - one gold, one bronze, and one silver - with cat whiskers engraved in each of them. Abi smiles, hugging Dan tightly as some people around them cooed and awed.

"Dan, this is beautiful. Thank you so much!" she gushes.

"So you don't have any bombs?" the third guard asks. Dan chuckles, facing the three.

"You don't have to worry about me, sir; I take my bombs _very_ seriously," Dan jokes nervously, to be met with stares from everyone. Dan looks at Abi, and then at a snickering Phil, and then just blushes, saying "I didn't say it; Chandler did," and taking his suitcase and rolling it out.

"I pulled a Chandler," he mutters as they make their way to the boarding area. "I told you I'd pull a Chandler!"

"That's exactly what he said too..." Phil says with a smirk as they sit down.

"I have a feeling we all need coffee," Abi says, glancing at a local Starbucks. "Caramel macchiatos all around?"

Dan and Phil nod, and as Abi leaves, two Twitter notifications pop up from her screen.

_**Phil Lester; AmazingPhil  
8:09 AM** _

_I forgot my suitcase in a taxi and had to pay twenty pounds as a tip for pestering him about it :/_

_**Dan Howell; danisnotonfire  
8:12 AM** _

_i pulled a chandler at the airport security and nearly got arrested. why do i always make it so much harder for myself?_

Abi chuckles, pocketing her phone and ordering their coffees with a small smile.

* * *

After waiting for an hour, they finally get on the plane. They show their boarding tickets to the flight attendant and make their way to their seats, which were three seats at the edge of the middle row. They put their suitcases in the overhead compartment, and when they finally settle down, Abi puts on the charm bracelet.

"What a piece of eye candy, am I right?" Dan smirks as he pulls his earbuds out of his pocket and plugging it into his phone.

"Don't get full of yourself, Dan," she smirks. "It is quite beautiful though. And it's sweet you were going to give me a going away present. Maybe I should've went away to see what you would've said when you gave it to me."

Dan blushes. "I would've not been able to."

Abi looks at Dan with a small smile, and the two share a silent moment of just looking into each other's eyes.

A loud 'thump!' snaps them out of their daze, and Phil sits beside Dan with a smile. Abi turns to look at Phil with a look of disbelief, and Dan just rolls his eyes. Phil, oblivious to this all, beams at them with a grin.

"So everything's good? You guys have everything and what not? Can I pull up my _Muse_ album with no disturbances?" Phil asks.

Abi sneaks another smile at Dan, who is busy choosing a song on his phone.

"Yeah," Abi says, "we're good."

* * *

The flight remained uneventful, and they finally get off the plane at the late hours of night. They had booked a hotel for the night, and pretty much passed out the rest of the night.

When morning came about, they woke up bright and early to meet Martyn and Cornelia at their tour bus. They packed up, checked out, and went outside to see it. They all stopped and Abi covered her mouth in shock.

The tour bus stood in front of them, with Martyn and Cornelia waving at them at the front. They drag their suitcases to them and exchange hugs.

"Man, this looks great!" Abi says in amazement. "I can't believe you guys actually have a tour bus!"

"I can't believe you actually have a tour," Martyn smirks, rubbing Phil's shoulder. "It was like it was only yesterday when you were filming videos in your room with a black and white camera and boring everyone about your English tests."

Phil rolls his eyes, and Dan claps his hands.

"Alright then! Let's see what this place is made of!"

"I hope it isn't too small," Dan says as he hauls the suitcases into the storage compartment on the side of the bus. "As pretty tall people, I don't want to be bumping my head on all of the light fixtures and what not..."

Abi looks at Dan, and he just shrugs.

"I mean, I am very thankful," he says hastily. "Thanks so much, Martyn and Cornelia."

"Better," Abi says with a smile. "Now get on the bus and put this bag in our room."

She tosses him a backpack, and he manages to catch it by the strap. He rolls his eyes, saying, "Whatever, mom," and walking up the stairs into the bus before Abi could protest. Cornelia crosses her arms.

"Mom? More like wife," she says with a sly grin. "You guys tie the not yet?"

Abi scoffs. She disappears into the tour bus, and Martyn and Cornelia climb into the front seats.

"Well, get ready quickly, guys!" Martyn calls from the top. "Next stop, Playlist Live!"

* * *

Playlist Live was filled with dozens of people for the first performance of TATINOF. When Dan and Phil went on stage, the crowd screamed. Abi watches from backstage, grinning at every single moment. Along with Dan and Phil, she practically memorized the whole thing, so she was enjoying every little improvisation that the boys came up with.

The show went on without many interruptions - aside from when Phil fell off the stage, but that wasn't a surprise to anyone, and Phil laughed it off when it was done - and when the show was done, everyone was on their feet.

Dan and Phil jog backstage, and Abi greets them with open arms.

"Great show, guys!" Abi says, squeezing them tightly. Dan smirks.

"Guys? Who let a phangirl backstage?" he calls out, to which Abi just nudges him.

"I can't believe I fell offstage!" Phil says when they get pull out of the hug. "That must've been the most humiliating moment of my entire lifetime! And I could've seriously hurt someone down there...or myself!"

Dan pats Phil's back. "Don't worry, Phil; they probably thought it was part of the show."

"Thanks, Dan," Phil says sarcastically.

"Do you guys have any meetups or other shows?" Abi asks. "I kind of want to take you guys out for dinner. You know, just as a 'congrats on TATINOF's first show' and stuff. We can go to a sushi place I saw on the way here."

Phil shakes his head. "I can't. I have to on a panel at 6, and then have to help Martyn book hotel rooms for when we're on the road. Plus, I want to edit a video, so my night is pretty much packed with chores."

"Since when is helping your brother and pleasing your fans are considered 'chores'?" Abi says with a smirk.

"You don't know the pressure of being AmazingPhil," Phil retorts, to which Abi sticks out her tongue.

"Well Phil made a big effort of coming up with excuses to not go with me," Abi says, before turning to look at Dan. "You aren't busy, are you, Dan? I mean, if you don't want to go, that's fine, but if you want to go -"

"That'd be great." Dan finishes the sentence for her. Phil squeals.

"It's a date!" he says, clapping and jumping up and down. Abi rolls her eyes.

"Come on, Dan; I think I can convince Drake the security guard to lend us his car."

* * *

They go to a sushi place about fifteen minutes away from Playlist, and to their relief, it's mostly empty. They get a booth near a window, and order. When the waitress leaves, Dan looks at Abi with a small smile.

"This is a nice place," he says, breaking the ice. Abi nods, self-consciously fixing her hair.

"This isn't too weird for you, is it?" Abi asks quietly. "If you don't feel comfortable, I can just ask for take-out. I don't want to seem like I'm leading you on or anything; especially since what I said before still stands."

Dan looks at Abi, and she blushes, adding, "And I mean that in the nicest way possible."

Dan chuckles. "It's fine, Abi. I actually think this is what we needed."

Abi smiles, and they continue to talk for a while. Abi asks Dan questions about their show earlier, and he animatedly talks about the experience of performing live and the anxiety he was feeling before the show that cleared out when all the fans were cheering them on.

When their order comes, Abi raises her glass towards Dan.

"To TATINOF?" Abi asks, proposing a toast. Dan clinks her glass with his own.

"To us being just _fine_ ," Dan says, and Abi blushes behind her drink.

After their meal, Abi excuses herself to the washroom. As she washes her hands, her phone buzzes. She pulls it out of her pocket, she realizes it's yet another tweet from Dan. She reads it with curiosity bubbling inside of her.

**_Dan Howell; danisnotonfire  
_ ** _**9:47 PM** _

_i hate how my mind works sometimes; i'm fine with someone's opinion and respect their decisions, and before you know it, i want to pull them into a tight hug and never let them go._

* * *

Phil's fast asleep when Abi and Dan sneak back onto the tour bus, giggling about the weird fish guy at the restaurant.

They go to their room and Dan wipes a tear from his eye.

"What the hell was up with that man?" Dan laughs. "I mean, who orders five different kinds of fish platters, then say that he was allergic to fish, and then sets them free in the aquarium? What a lunatic."

"I don't know what he was expecting when they kicked him out," Abi replies, "He seemed so surprised for getting kicked out by people claiming he was 'being inappropriate and destructive in the restaurant."

Dan nods, taking off his shirt without warning. Abi turns around from when she takes off her sweater and her eyes widen.

Dan's chest is the first thing she sees, along with that purple-ish scar that lined his stomach. She gulps, and Dan realizes that Abi is staring. He blushes, and uses his t-shirt to cover his chest in embarrassment.

"Sorry," he murmurs. "I'm so used to sleeping shirtless that I forgot that a very nice girl is sleeping right beside me, and I wish I would stop talking."

Abi shakily laughs. "It's fine, Dan. As long as you aren't sleeping naked, I'm fine."

Dan shakes his head as he climbs into bed.

"Man, it was so much more easier with Phil. He'd let me strip to the boxers."

Abi's eyes widen. Dan rolls his eyes, punching her arm softly.

"Kidding, obviously."

"Whatever; you know I don't mind if you guys do whatever it is you do."

"Shut up!" Dan says, and Abi rolls her eyes as she climbs into the bed beside Dan.

"Do you mind if I sleep naked?"

Dan looks shell-shocked. Abi laughs.

"Kidding, obviously."

Dan huffs at Abi's joke, and reaches over to turn off the lamp beside him. Enveloped in darkness, he can't help himself but to snuggle beside Abi. A bit shocked at first, Abi tries to shake him off, but then feels Dan's breath against her neck.

"G'night, Abi," he murmurs sleepily into her neck.

Abi smiles softly, wrapping her arm around Dan's chest, trying not to freak out.

"Good night, Dan," Abi whispers. "Good night."

Abi closes her eyes, listening to Dan's breathing.

_'How the hell am I going to survive three months?'_ Abi thinks to herself later in the night, when she realizes an hour has past, and she's tugging Dan's arm a bit tighter than a normal friend would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (what a fluffy and boring chapter for someone who hasn't updated in a month :P)


	20. Cotton Candy Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlocked: Advance your relationship ever so slightly in three hours and two sticks of cotton candy. (a fluffy chapter that isn't too good, but still goes somewhere :P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> Now I know my fellow Toronto readers know that the CNE is actually in August and wouldn't be around the same time Dan and Phil went to Toronto in May, but for the sake of plot, looks like the CNE is coming to town early :P As well as I don't think this story will have an Australian TATINOF, but if it does, it will probably be briefly mentioned. Sorry, Australians; too much plot for me to handle :P It's an AU now for a reason, folks :P
> 
> Enjoy and ignore how insanely inaccurate this timeline now is :)
> 
> Side note to all my England readers: Do they have Tim Hortons in the UK? You should all have Tim Hortons. I mean, it's like a Canadian Starbucks, but still.

_**Chapter 20: Cotton Candy Fluff** _

Their tour went state to state after that, but Abi also remembers that the boys were making a pit stop in Toronto - "Add a little diversity!" Phil says when Abi asks why they decide to go everywhere in the US _and_ Toronto. "We'll have a Canadian tour eventually, but Toronto is closeby anyway."

When they cross the border and got to Canada, the first thing Dan did was search up what kind of events were happening around the places they'd be, especially Toronto. Abi was on Tumblr as usual, when Dan spoke up.

"We should go to Niagara Falls. It's a good hour and a half from Toronto anyway, and we can get wet."

Abi raises an eyebrow. Dan smirks. "On the boat the goes into the falls, Abi. Jesus Christ."

"Whatever, the innuendo you were going for was obviously implied," Abi replies, not looking up, and Phil just chuckles.

"I don't even know how you guys manage staying in a room together," Phil says. "It was hard enough to live with Dan for all these years, but now that you have come along, Abi, it feels like there are two Dan's and I can't handle it."

"That's a weird thing to say, Phil," Abi giggles.

Dan grins. "What else is new?"

They continue their small talk for another few minutes. Martyn takes over the driving for the next stretch of their journey, and Cornelia walks over into the little lounge area and sits besides Abi with a smile.

"Hello, Mrs. Lester," Phil smirks. Cornelia rolls her eyes.

"Shut up, Phil, your brother hasn't proposed _yet,"_ Cornelia says, "and saying my name like that makes me sound like an English teacher."

"What are you here for?" Phil continues to tease. "Here to see that you chose the wrong Lester?"

Martyn laughs from the driver's seat, and so does Dan.

"I don't think we can be Dan and Martyn as a brand, Phil," Dan says. "No offence, Martyn."

"AmazingMartyn," Phil laughs. "Maybe you should replace me, bro."

"Phil, we don't call each other bro," Martyn says from the driver's seat. "There is no way that you can convince me to start calling you 'bro'; not even if you have me a million pounds."

"Really?" Abi asks. "For one million pounds, _I_ would call Phil 'bro'. I'll even throw in a 'D-Slice' if I can get five hundred thousand pounds extra."

"No way in hell are we bringing back 'D-Slice'," Cornelia giggles. "I was scrolling through my Twitter and someone asked me, 'Cornelia, what do you think about your brother dating a guy called D-Slice?' and Martyn had to help me get off the ground."

"I really hope you were ironically writing that fanfiction, Phil," Dan laughs. "I mean, you have an English degree for goodness sake."

"Hey!" Phil says, mock-offended. "I'll have you know that The Hand is basically what inspired the fanfiction community to write weird and oddly amazing stories. I am the fanfiction overlord."

"I dunno, I liked Dan's better," Martyn says.

"Shut up, Martyn!" Phil yells back, and Abi rolls her eyes.

"Oh my god, I can't take it. If anyone else starts this debate on fanfiction and D-Slice, I am throwing myself off the bus and living on the streets. _Again."_

Dan laughs. "I bet that's your master plan. Get yourself on the channel and be introduced to our audience, and using your connections with us to live a rich and powerful life. I bet that was the reason behind the roommate tag video. Forget danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil; it's RoomieAbi, who will make a YouTube channel heavily based off spilling our secrets and stealing our subscribers."

"She's secretly an evil mastermind!" Phil cries, and everyone bursts into laughter, including Abi.

"I don't even know how we got to this point of a conversation," Cornelia giggles.

"I live with those two; every conversation we have is turned into some sort of giggle-fest," Abi replies.

When the laughter dies down, they realize that in the time they spent so much time talking and laughing, Martyn was already parking the car in a parking lot in Niagara Falls. They get off the tour bus and Abi stretches her arms.

"Man, that tour bus certainly takes the life out of someone's muscles," she huffs.

"Mmmm," Phil says, standing on his tippy-toes. "I can't believe we're in Canada. I can already smell the maple syrups. And I think I just saw a herd of meese riding the Niagara Falls on bags of milk."

"For the last time, Phil; 'meese' is not the plural form of moose." Dan says, throwing on his sunglasses.

"Then what is?"

"I don't know; ask a Canadian!" he replies. Phil shakes his head with a smile.

As Cornelia and Martyn pay for tickets on the boat across Niagara Falls for the five of them, Abi looks at Dan/

"Can we get Beaver Tails?" Abi asks. Dan nods.

"Sure. I'll pay. But this is only if I can take a picture with Phil near the Niagara Falls and use the caption 'getting incredibly moist with AmazingPhil' just to see if the phandom will go totally insane and if I can have a 'break the internet Kim Kardashian moment'."

"I'm going to unfollow if I see that," Abi says with a roll of her eyes, and when Martyn and Cornelia hand everyone their rain jackets and tickets, Abi is forced to take the picture that will drive the internet insane once again.

* * *

"Hey, the CNE is in town," Martyn points out as he brings everyone their drinks from Tim Hortons. Phil ignores the comment and eagerly grabs his cup. He takes a sip from the drink, and smiling at the taste.

"I can't believe you got a maple-flavoured iced capp," Abi chuckles.

"I can't believe you _didn't_ get a maple-flavoured iced capp and stuck to the regular one," Phil counter-attacks. "I mean, we are in Canada, Abi. A maple-flavoured iced capp is literally the only drink a foreigner like us should have when crossing over to the country that are friends with the Queen."

"Speaking of the Queen, why doesn't she get a Tim Hortons in England?" Dan asks, taking more sips of his own maple-flavoured drink. "I mean, she is basically besties with Canada; I don't think I can live without this kind of maple syrup fix."

"Stop getting high off maple syrup," Abi says.

"You _wish_ you were high off maple syrup," Dan retorts. "We should get as many bottles of maple syrup from the duty free shop before we leave."

"What about the CNE?" Abi says, ignoring the rest of Dan's dying argument. Dan and Phil face Martyn, and the older Lester shrugs.

"It's the Canadian National Exhibition," Martyn explains, "or best known as the CNE, or 'The Ex'."

"Wow, the Ex sounds like a superhero hideout," Phil remarks. Cornelia giggles, and Dan is already on his phone, searching up the event.

"Apparently it has been running for 137 years," he says, clearly intrigued. "We must go to this weird Canadian ritual."

"I don't think it's a ritual, Dan," Abi says. Dan ignores her.

"Well, our last Toronto show is on May 8th, which is Sunday. We can't go after that show, so do you want to go after our first Toronto show?" Martyn asks. "I have to buy tickets now, so we don't forget later."

"After the first Toronto show is fine with me," Phil says. Everyone else nods in agreement, and Martyn books the tickets.

They leave the Tim Hortons, and by the time they exit, it's already dark. Everyone says goodnight, and they get their rest before the first show in Toronto.

* * *

"Great show, guys!" Abi says, patting her friends' back as they enter backstage, handing them bottles of water. "Got to say, your facts about Toronto were questionable, Phil, but I could really feel your stage presence improving out there. You're driving Canadian fans nuts. Good bit about the bags of milk by the way, Dan; you slipped that one in perfectly."

"Thanks for the review, Mrs. Woods," Dan says sarcastically, taking the bottle and sipping it. "Is there anything else we need to improve? Our posture? Our jokes?"

"Your jokes _always_ need improvement."

"Obviously, we're doing it right. We have a frickin' show for god's sake," Dan retorts, and Phil chuckles. Abi looks at Phil as he drank the water, and fished in her pocket to pull what seemed to be a piece of paper up to view. She waves it in front of Phil's face.

"By the way, Phil, I found this while taking out the trash," Abi says, "care to explain?"

Phil grabs the paper and stares at it, before blushing madly, crumpling it in his hands.

"You took Dan out?" he squeaks, trying to cover his embarrassment with a joke. Dan points a finger accusingly at him, sneaking a glance at the piece of paper in Phil's hand.

"Don't try to change the subject, Philly-boy," Dan singsongs. "Did you throw away the girl's number?"

Phil sighs. "Yeah."

"Why?" Abi asks, going a bit serious for a minute. "I mean, no offence, but this is one of the first phone numbers you got from a girl who is interested in you, and she is not under the age of twelve."

Phil rolls his eyes. Dan pats his back.

"No pressure, dude, but I really think you should take a shot at it. You deserve this."

Phil shrugs quietly. "I don't think I will call her. I mean, she is the exact opposite of me, and she has a cousin who watches my videos. For all I know, she could be playing me for her sake. Plus, I don't know if I have time for a relationship that everyone will probably know about. The phangirls might go nuts if they find out I'm dating someone. Not gonna lie, but I am kind of on a lot of people's love radar."

Abi rolls her eyes. "Don't be so full of yourself, Lester. I haven't fallen for you yet."

Phil pops his collar anyway, and Dan looks at Phil.

"Call her," he says, "right now."

" _Now?_ " Phil squeaks. "Are you sure? I mean, we're on tour. Our date won't happen until late July."

"Just do it," Abi says. "No harm in planning ahead. Plus, we'll be here the whole time."

Phil opens his clenched fist and slowly unfolds the piece of paper. He sighs, giving in, and pulls out his phone. Abi and Dan squeal a bit, hi-fiving each other in victory. Phil does his best to ignore them and focus on not screwing up.

He dials, Abi and Dan intensely watching, and before he could hang up, she finally picks up the phone on the last ring.

_"Hello, you reached Rosa Sals. Whatcha need?"_ she answers, and Phil imagines her red hair and the popping of bubblegum. Abi could hear the voice quietly, and Phil is stuttering already. Dan reassuringly gives him a thumbs up, and he closes his eyes.

"Rosa? Hi. It's me. Phil. You know, from the pizza place?" he stammers. Abi nearly face-palms, but acts supportive anyway.

It was if Phil could _hear_ her smile. _"Phil! Glad ya called. Hopefully you callin' for a date?"_

Phil decides she has a Texan accent. He hasn't actually met a person from Texas before, so he doesn't know if he could really determine that, but for now, it lets his curiosity subside.

He snaps out of his small daze, realizing he has been quiet for at least thirty seconds. He coughs awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

"I am," - Abi and Dan exchange grins - "but I should tell you I am out of England completely."

_"Toronto, right?"_

Phil frowns. "Yeah. How did you know?"

_"My cousin practically screamed at me over the phone saying that you and Dan were getting 'incredibly moist'. You probably caused her a heart attack, you know that? The photo of you two at Niagara Falls was probably the end of her life."_

Phil laughs. "Well, you can blame Dan for that one."

"Hey!" Dan protests. Abi puts a hand on his mouth to shut his muffled words out.

_"You know, it's your lucky day, Lester,"_ She says Lester like it was 'Lest-a' and it made Phil smile softly. _"I so happen to be in Toronto to see my uncle. Crazy bitch, that one is, but I have to love him. Though I can ditch giving his heart medicine for tonight and meet you at the CNE?"_

Phil's eyes widen. "What?!"

Rosa's laugh rings in his ears. _"I hope to see you there, Lester."_

Phil barely manages a "yes" and Rosa hangs up. He faces Dan and Abi with a dazed grin, and he can't tell if he is excited, nervous, or ready to explode.

"So?" Abi asks. "You got a date?"

Phil avoids the question. "She never did say whether she was joking about her uncle or not."

* * *

Apparently she wasn't.

Or maybe she was, Phil thinks, and her uncle's heart problems was actually just another twisted joke she liked to pull. But nonetheless, she was here, at the entrance of the carnival, with her red hair in a pixie cut - she must've cut it since the last time he's seen her - and, of course, she's chewing _another stick of gum._

"Hiya, Phil," Rosa says, kissing his cheek as he got close enough to greet her. Phil blushes, and Dan and Abi smirk.

"H-Hi, Rosa," he stutters, "these are my friends, Dan and Abi. There is my brother, Martyn, and his girlfriend, Cornelia. Guys? Rosalina Sals. But you can call her Rosa, as she told me the first day I met her."

Dan is the first to extend a hand.

"Hey, Rosa," he says slyly. "I see you charmed my friend Phil. Congratulations; you have achieved the dreams of every twelve year old across the world."

Phil playfully punches Dan on the shoulder. "Dan, actually shut up."

Rosa giggles, twirling her red necklace, the charm in a shape of a circle, with three blooming flowers inside of it.

"Your chemistry is the same as it is onstage," Rosa says. "You guys are just adorable."

"How do you know what we are like onstage?" Phil asks, slightly confused.

Rosa's eyes twinkle. "I went to your show earlier."

"Really?" Phil asks. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask until now," she says as if it were obvious. Phil seems astonished. Abi smirks at his reaction, and she looks at Rosa with an ernest smile.

"I suppose you know who I am, then," Abi says.

Rosa looks at Abi up and down and smiles a bit too widely for her taste.

"Ah, yes. Roomie, is it? Nice to meet you," she says, briefly shaking her hand, before facing Phil once more and grabbing his hand. Phil visibly stiffens, but Abi flashes a thumbs up behind Rosa's back, and he calms down.

"Well come on, pumpkin," Rosa says, "let's get started!"

She drags Phil into the crowd, and the only thing Martyn says is, "Turn on your cellphone, _bro_ ; see you in three hours."

* * *

"I haven't seen much of Phil this whole time," Abi says, picking up their cotton candy from the man. Dan hands the guy money, and shrug, tearing a piece of fluff and sticking it in Abi's mouth by surprise. She yelps, but chews it anyway.

"What the hell was that for?" Abi squeaks. Dan shrugs.

"I dunno, I just couldn't stand the fact that you were talking about Phil again as if he was a five year old. He's on a date; he's probably really focused on being cute and adorable than worrying where his roommate is."

"That boy is embarrassed of us," Abi giggles. "It's kind of like we're embarrassing parents who humiliate Phil in front of his girlfriend."

"Besides," Dan says, tearing his own piece of cotton candy. "we are on our own date."

Abi nearly chokes on her cotton candy. Dan's eyes widen.

"I-I mean, hypothetically. Like, it's kind of like we are on our own date. We're not really on our own date, as we are not dating." Dan stammers, but Abi shuts him up by stuffing cotton candy in his mouth. Dan catches a glimpse of the charm bracelet he gave her dangling in front of his face before she lowered her arm.

"Do you want to be on a date?"

Dan seems lost for words. "I-I thought you weren't ready yet."

Abi shrugs. "I had a lot of time to think about it."

"So...do you want to go on a date, Abigail Woods?" Dan asks shyly, feeling a bit awkward, which leads him to raise his cotton candy up to her as if it was a rose. Abi giggles, and takes a piece of his cotton candy, as if it was to make a final decision.

"Sure," she says quietly. "I mean, if you don't mind, I would want to start slow. I feel like dating is a good start. A couple of dates."

"You're rambling, Abi," Dan says. "Of course we'll go slowly. We don't have to be official yet. We can still be friends."

Abi looks down. "Well, if you are my friend, can you buy us tickets to the Sky Ride? It looks pretty at night."

Dan laughs. "Of course."

* * *

And that's where they end up. They end up on the Sky Ride at the closing hours of the festival, watching the carnival slowly move under their feet. Dan finishes his cotton candy, and Abi isn't finished hers yet, so he is nibbling off hers despite her protests.

"Dan, you should've not finished yours so fast! I was saving mine." Abi pulls her stick away. Dan grins.

"Hey, sharing is caring," Dan retorts.

Abi gives up, handing him the cotton candy, and Dan grins, mumbling his gratitude as he stuffed his face with the fluffs of candy. Abi looks at the stars.

"I was totally right; it is so nice at this kind of time," Abi says quietly.

Dan nods. "All the lights are so pretty."

He faces Abi, and realizes that the lights are illuminating onto her, and he can see all the details of her face; every strand of hair pulled back into a ponytail, her dimple when she smiled, _her eyes;_ Dan can get lost in those eyes.

Abi then does what Dan really wanted to do, but had no courage to try; _she kisses him._

It catches him by surprise, but he moves into the kiss, cupping her cheek and pulling her closer. She tastes like candy floss, and the taste explodes in his mouth like a bomb. Her lips curve into a smile when they pull back.

"How long has it been since you kissed someone like that?" Dan whispers, his lips barely grazing hers.

"It's been a while since I ever kissed someone, but -"

"I mean, when you really wanted to."

Abi's eyes glisten. "In that case, _this is my first._ "

* * *

"How was your date with Rosa?" Dan asks as they walk back into the tour bus. Phil smiles.

"She's really nice," Phil gushes. "I mean, we are polar opposites, but I think we click. She is such a confident person; she basically dominated the ball toss and won me the biggest bear in the whole fair."

He points to the stuffed toy in the corner. Abi grins.

"Aren't you supposed to be the one who wins her the gifts?" she asks, sitting on the couch as the bus starts driving out of the carnival parking lot and into the streets.

"Besides the point," Phil says with a roll of his eyes, "I had a great time. We might go on another date when we get back. She said she was willing to wait that long, and I told her it would be as soon as I come back."

"You really like this girl, huh?" Dan says with a degree of confidence. "Did you kiss?"

Abi blushes as the word, and Phil's cheeks go red as well.

"M-Maybe," Phil says, and then calls it a night, speeding off to his room. Abi grins.

"You got him totally flustered," Abi giggles. Dan smirks.

"I got you flustered too. I saw the way you blushed."

Abi's cheeks flash red again. Dan smiles.

"Had a great night, Abi," Dan says, and stands up to go to their room. "I'll see you tomorrow. Go in quietly if you decide to go late."

When Dan leaves, Abi finds herself speechless, and she goes into the room after hours of thinking, and slips into bed beside a smiling Dan, who, in his slumber, somehow puts his arm around Abi's waist.

She doesn't fight off her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	21. What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas (Right?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan - unfortunate as it is - comes to the conclusion that his birthday was the basically 'Our Awkward Fancy Dinner 2.0'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> Hope you are having a nice day, reader! Thanks for dropping by and literally checking me out :P
> 
> P.S- Do you know Dodie Clark? She is literally the cutest person ever. I love her so much. Gahhhh :)
> 
> P.P.S- For the sake of fiction, please pretend that there are such strict dress codes at restaurant. I've wanted to do this bit for so long, and I am not prepared to let it be taken down by the hands of realism *shakes fist at the sky*

_**Chapter 21: What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas (Right?)** _

Their show continued on, and Abi stood behind the scenes the whole time, watching people with dreams of meeting their internet idols finally being granted the wish of meeting them in real life. She was always happy to see the smiles that her friends make on some people.

Eventually, they were hitting the road again, but this time, their minds were filled with something far more exciting than just another regular show of The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire. In fact, it was something that was a bit more important to them than their live stage show.

Yes, on June 11th, it was Dan's birthday.

...and he didn't remember much at all.

* * *

_**Before** _

"Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Abi exclaims, hopping into their bedroom. Dan was half awake under bedsheets, pulling them halfway up his face. His smile peeked out from under the bedsheets. Abi grinned, pulling him out of bed.

"Good morning, birthday boy!" she says happily, literally on the tips of her toes. Dan fought the urge to smile at her appearance.

If Dan didn't know who she was, he would've assumed she was either an angel or a literal ball of sunshine. Her hair flopped on her shoulders, and she was wearing the new glasses they had got her on the way to Washington - the rounded, brown ones with the lighter shade of brown stripes circling the frame. She was wearing a denim jumper over a white t-shirt, and her _smile -_ Dan could throw up rainbows looking at that smile.

She was perfect.

She _is_ perfect.

"Er, Dan?" Abi's voice snaps him out of his daydream, and his eyes dart back to meet hers. "You've been quiet for quite a while now, and I can't tell if you are attempting to sleep with your eyes open, or you are just a total dickhead."

"I am a dickhead," Dan muses, and Abi grins, pulling his arm to get him out of bed and wrapping him in a tight embrace.

"A twenty five year old dickhead!" Abi squeals. "Happy birthday, Dan!"

"Man, if you keep saying that, you'll use up all the happy birthday's a person can say in a year, Jesus Christ," Dan mutters, a smile still etched on his face. Abi grins and just squeezes him tighter. The height difference made Abi's face dig into the crook of his neck, and his cheeks blazed when she nuzzled her nose into his skin.

"I can't believe you're twenty five," Abi says when they pull apart. "I mean, you literally have the facial hair of a prepubescent man-child," Abi then adds, giggling. Dan rolls his eyes, turning around to fix the bed as they continued to talk.

"Well, your giggling reminds me of a six year old girl on the playground who's screaming 'cooties!' to every boy she meets."

"Dan, do you want cake or not?"

Dan's eyes glisten. "Alright, you win; I'll take my cootie shot and get my birthday on!"

"I've already started with the birthday tweet by the way!" A voice rang out from outside their room. "Are you ready to get #HappyBirthdayDan trending on Twitter, and to have the most Dan-tastic birthday in the history of birthdays?!"

Dan groans. "Please, no."

Phil's head pops out of the door frame, and his smile is almost as wide as Abi's. He is holding a stack of pancakes with twenty five burning candles on top of them, and was wearing his infamous 'abs' apron. Dan smirks.

"Nice apron, Mrs. Lester."

Abi grins, looking Phil up and down. "Your mum wishes she had abs like that."

Phil shoots them a mock-hurt look. "Hey! I'm telling my mom you said that."

Abi's eyes widen. "Please don't tell Mrs. Lester I said that! She cooks the best food in the whole entire world, and has the best Christmas sweaters just waiting for me when we go visit in the winter! You can't take her away, please!"

A few seconds of silence and Abi cuts out of her over-dramatic scene and breaks into small giggles. Phil laughs as well, and Dan just takes a big step in Phil's direction, eyeing the stack of pancakes in his hand.

"So I know I was promised a cake, but I do want to know when I can eat these pancakes," Dan says, licking his lips. Phil pulls the plate back

"There are twenty five pancakes on this plate, and you are going to share," Phil says. Dan puts his hands on his hips.

"I bet you twenty pounds I can finish all these by myself," Dan says.

Abi shakes her head. "No way. Plus, shouldn't it be dollars?"

Phil rolls his eyes. "Nice try, Dan. As much as I'd like to see you fail miserably, we are going to share. Plus, you know that I am the only one who can beat you in a pancake eating session. Any day, man. Any day."

"Try me, Lester," Dan says, shoving his nose in Phil's face with a small smile. Abi bites her lip with a smile.

"This is it. The end of Dan and Phil. Who knew it would come down to pancakes," Abi jokes.

"Can we _please_ just go eat pancakes now? You're killing me, guys. You're killing me," Dan says, putting a hand to his heart. Phil nods, blowing out all the candles and ripping them out with a wide grin.

"I wanted to stuff these in my face once I made them. Forget making a wish; let's eat!"

The three share a laugh, and race to the kitchen with smiles on their faces.

Phil takes three pancakes and plops them on his plate, grabbing the cup of maple syrup and pours a bunch on. Abi chuckles and did the same, the thick liquid drizzling down her stack. Dan takes the most, and they all sit down around the small kitchen table.

"Sho," Dan says through a mouth full of food, "what'sh da phlan tho-day?"

"I can't speak mumble talk, you know that," Abi jokes, and Dan rolls his eyes, swallowing the food down and sipping from his orange juice.

"What's the plan today? I mean, we have some time after the show today. I don't mind going out or anything, but if you guys aren't up for it, we can stay home," Dan says, digging his fork into his pancake and ate it, chewing it around before turning to Phil and asking, "And are these Delia Smith pancakes?"

Phil shrugs. "Dan, don't be so humble; we're _obviously_ going out to celebrate. You're a quarter way through your life; it's kind of special, you know? Martyn and Cornelia are going to this casino nearby, and while they are there, we can go to the really fancy dinner place that came with their 'bundle'."

Phil pauses, then smiles and adds, "And _of course_ I made Delia Smith pancakes. Why wouldn't I?"

Abi closes her eyes as she eats.

"Holy crap these are the best pancakes I've ever eaten...," Abi moans, "and I've been to iHOP."

Phil's eyes widen, and he pulls the plate closer to him.

"Don't ever say that about iHOP again, Abigail Woods, or I'll cut off your supply of these babies."

"You wouldn't!" Abi says dramatically, throwing the back of her hand on her forehead. Dan snickers, finishing another pancake and immediately putting more on his plate. Phil looks over at him and laughs.

"You know, Dan, you have to save some room for our big fancy dinner tonight."

Dan looks at Phil, his cheeks filled with pancake crumbs. "Were you being serious about that?"

"I don't see why I wouldn't be," Phil replies. Abi frowns.

"Well, I didn't pack any nice clothes...and this is a restaurant near a fancy casino," Abi points out. "Plus, don't Martyn and Cornelia want to spend their night at the restaurant? I mean, it _is_ their bundle...whatever that means..."

"They told me to go ahead and use it, as they will probably just stay at the casino and then go for room service," Phil explains. "Martyn even said to consider their gift to you, Dan; a fancy dinner."

"The clothes?" Abi repeats again. "This is a fancy place I assume?"

"Five stars," Phil says with a wink, "and do you think I didn't prepare for this moment?"

Dan's eyes widen in realization.

"Did...you planned this all along?!" he exclaims. Phil grins mischeviouly, rubbing his hands together.

"Yup! It was all part of my diabolical plan on making sure your birthday is one you shall never forget for next quarters of your life! How evil am I?" Phil says sarcastically. "I bet you didn't see this coming! The Amazing Phil strikes again! Mwhahahaa!"

Abi laughs. "So you're telling me you packed me a dress?"

"Yup!" Phil says happily.

"...I don't have any dresses other than the one from New Year's," Abi says, looking at Phil suspiciously. He winks.

"Consider that a gift from your good old pal Louise!" he answers.

"Me?" Dan asks. Phil shrugs.

"I just got Martyn to buy one while you were in that shop with the ridiculous hat. "

"Which one?" Abi smirks. "You do know that we are friends with _Mr. Gatorland_."

Dan looks at her, faking a stab to the heart. "Are you telling me you aren't in love with my snazzy hat? If you keep it up like that, I am planning on buying you one and permanently gluing it to your head."

Abi fakes a horrified look. Phil laughs.

"You know, the one I took a picture of and tweeted it out?"

"Oh, the one that looked like a poor farmer's hat?" Abi asks with a sly grin. Dan glares at her.

"You know that was the runner-up for my snazzy hat?"

"Thank god that you made the right decision," Abi says with a roll of her eyes. Dan chuckles and finishes his last pancake. Phil sits back in his chair, smiling.

"Well back on topic," he says, "I asked Martyn to get Dan to try on some clothes and just choose a nice blazer and dress shirt with some pants in the same size. It was a foolproof plan if I do say so myself."

"Why didn't you just ask me to try out the blazer and stuff?" Dan asks. "I would've not mind, you know, as I need a new blazer anyway."

"Wait, did this blazer happen to be grey with a few pinstripes of black?" Abi asks curiously.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, I think Martyn wore it to his date with Cornelia."

Phil's eyes widen, and he dashes to his room to dig through his clothes. He then goes to Martyn and Cornelia's room and searches frantically for the blazer, but can't find it. He comes back with a sheepish smile.

"Well, maybe I didn't specify it was for Dan _today..._ ," Phil says embarrassingly. Dan groans.

"Great, now I have to show up with a graphic t-shirt and skinny jeans," Dan says. "Typical. I don't even think that's allowed in that kind of restaurant; there has to be some sort of dress code I'm breaking or something..."

"Don't act so glum, Dan," Abi says. "It's the thought that counts, am I right?"

Phil suddenly snaps his fingers.

"You know, Dan, I think I can find you a last minute tux that will certainly make you the... _light_ of the room, if you know what I mean," Phil says, smirking. Dan frowns, and looks at him in confusion.

"What are you on about?" Abi, however, seemed to be getting the idea, and she broke out into a smile.

"You aren't even considering..."

* * *

"I will actually kill you, Phil Lester," Dan says, standing in his _gold, glittery TATINOF blazer,_ complete with a plain black shirt rather than the one with a ring on it, black jeans, and dress shoes."It's my birthday, and I can de-friend you if it will make me happy on the day I was conceived once again."

Phil smiles, adjusting his blue blazer as he looked in the mirror.

"Why do you want to kill me?" Phil asks. "To my defence, Martyn was the one who wore your birthday suit."

"...you're going to have to stop saying that," Dan says. "Plus, it's all sweaty." he adds, taking off the top hat and giving it a disgusted shake.

"Come on, you've done the dance thousands of times before. At this rate, you shouldn't even break a sweat. Plus, you seemed a lot more happier wearing it at the Las Vegas show today..."

"That's because it was part of the show, Phil!" Dan exclaims. "I can't go to a five star restaurant looking like this. I look like Willy Wonka who got a new wardrobe change at the Queen's gold mine."

"Dan, you have to wear this," Phil says. "It's literally the only fancy piece of clothing I can find. The people won't let you in if you are wearing a black, leather jacket and skinny jeans. Trust me; Dean said he got kicked out of the place for wearing a graphic t-shirt, despite wearing a bowtie with it."

"...are they _that_ strict?"

"I am pretty sure that's it," Phil says. "This is one of the most high-class restaurants in America. The chef was raised alongside royalty that could probably match up to the Queen. I am certain that they will kick you out if you aren't in the proper attire."

The last words were said through a heavy British accent, which made Dan laugh.

"Okay, Phil, you win, I'll wear the tux." Phil grins, pumping his fist in the air. "I just want to let you know that it's because you are my best friend, and I could never end Dan and Phil over a gold tux - the fans will never forgive me."

"You'd be a hated man," Phil rambles as Dan looks behind his shoulder with wide eyes. "You would probably be wanted for the most dangerous crime; de-friending the rich and famous Phil Lester. Maybe even worse, you'll never get a job again -"

Phil stops halfway through his joke to see Dan's wide eyes. He frowns.

"Why are you staring at me like that - _oh._ " Phil turns around and he realizes what Dan's staring at.

Abi stood there, her hair up in a messy bun with a gold pin in her hair. She wore a scarlet, strapless cocktail dress and it wrapped around her, fitting perfectly around her slim shape. She wore small, black heels, and she wore her brown, thin framed glasses from earlier in the morning. It seemed to go perfectly with the dark red dress, and Dan couldn't stop staring. He knew he had to say something before he made this more awkward.

Dan gulps. "No contacts today?"

Abi grins. "Nope."

"You look...nice," Dan ends ups saying. Abi bows her head shyly.

"You do as well." She masks her embarrassment with a sarcastic comment. " _Stay gold, ponyboy."_

Dan's nervous smile disappeared. "Actually, shut up. At least it's only the blazer. The rest of my attire is just fine. In fact, without the golden blazer, I'd say I looked pretty good with a gold bow-tie."

"Are you going to keep the top hat?" Abi asks with a pleading tone to her voice. "Please say you'll keep the top hat."

"I am not keeping the top hat!" Dan protests. Phil's shoulders sag, and he throws in puppy eyes to help sway Dan's mind.

"Come on, Dan, it looks so much better with the top hat!" he exclaims.

"I'm _not_ wearing the hat!"

"Would you rather go out in your hobbit hair?" Abi points out. Dan frowns, sneaking a peek at his wavy hair. He frowns, then shrugs.

"To be honest? I'd much rather do that," Dan says, fluffing his hair a bit. "You know, I've actually been starting to appreciate my curly hair. Maybe I'll wear it like this more often..."

Abi's eyes widen. "Did I walk into a world where Dan _embraces_ his curly hair?"

"Catch me now," Phil says, a hand on his forehead. "Forget the frickin' top hat; this is basically my birthday gift for the rest of my life."

"Seriously?" Dan chuckles, trying to shake out the shyness in his voice.

"Uh, obviously," Abi says. "#KillTheStraightners2k16."

Dan smiles. "Remind me to ask for a safe when we get home."

Phil laughs, checking the time before widening his eyes.

"Well, we better start going. We can hail a taxi and scoot our way to Las Vegas' grandest restaurant! We will be so posh, it would be the equivalent of every person in England - including the Queen."

As Phil walks out of the tour bus, Dan shyly smiles at Abi, not making eye contact.

"You do look stunning," Dan mumbles. Abi feels her cheeks her heat up.

"Well so do you, Dan," she says, "I think your golden blazer should be a daily thing."

"Moment over, asshole," Dan laughs, and he jogs out of the tour bus, Abi following him. Before she went out, she looked in the mirror and smiled a little; tonight, she played to _win_.

* * *

"Dan, you need to stop with the anxiety, alright?" Phil pleads, sitting at the table. "Can you _please_ ask for more butter? This bread roll can't be complete without butter being smeared all over it."

The candle flickers with every breath that hits it, and Dan shakes his head vigorously.

"Never in my life will I ask for more butter ever again," Dan says. "You know what happened at the last place! Do you really think I would ask to get butter ever again? I practically watched my self-esteem die that night, in the arms of the waiter that very much wanted to kick me out. The nerve of those people these days. Don't they know how to keep their mouth shut -"

"Dan?" Abi hisses, kicking him from under the table. He yelps, and then turns around to see a rather annoyed waiter standing in front of their table, holding a notepad in his hand. Dan's eyes widen and his blushes intensify.

"U-Uh, hiya," he says nervously, wanting to hide in his menu for the rest of his life. The waiter clears his throat.

"Sorry if I'm being _annoying,_ sir," - Dan scratches the back of his head nervously. "but I just wanted to ask if you are ready to order? Unless you want me to sew my mouth shut for a while..."

Dan visibly winces, but luckily, Phil jumps in with a string of words he didn't even know existed, let alone be the names of food. He ordered quickly, and Abi did the same. The guy was about to leave when Dan shyly pointed out that he needed to order. The man rolled his eyes, huffing and taking his order as well.

When he left, Dan buries his head on the table, groaning.

"Holy shit I am the worst person in the world, the guy must hate me!" Dan says, his words muffled from under his arms. Abi giggle slightly, holding it together and patting his back reassuringly.

"Oh, Dan, don't worry, it'll be alright," she says. "Maybe the waiter from the other restaurant will tell this one that you are a great customer and not a snobby, high-class, A plus twat..."

"I will hurt you so badly, Abi, and you will wish you never said that!" Dan exclaims loudly, saying it as a joke. Abi knew that - even if it did sting a little - but the reaction from other people is what bothered them more.

Dan's eyes widen when he realizes what he did, and he covers his mouth.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Abi, I didn't mean it, I promise I am not an abusive twat like your dad -"

People could be heard gasping in the background. Abi remains silent, and Phil tugs the collar of his shirt. Dan bites his lip.

"I-I mean...u-uh...," Dan stutters. Abi smiles quietly, shaking her head.

"It's fine, Dan," she says reassuringly. "I know what you mean."

Dan scrunches his face up in guilt, sneaking a glance at Phil. The black-haired boy frowns, and his eyes said it all. Dan bit his tongue from saying anything, throwing his glance to Abi and then back at him. Phil then understood, nodding, and launching into an animated conversation about the tour.

"I can't believe we are in Las Vegas again," Phil says after the awkward conversation from before passes and their food arrives. "I mean, I'm surprised we'd ever come back here again. I thought it would've gave Dan a traumatic flashback or something."

Abi laughs. "You guys did over-do it with the whole 'What Really Happened In Las Vegas' thing."

Dan swallows more of his fancy steak down and grins.

"Hey, it was true! Running from the FBI _and_ the mafia was hard work, and it was even harder to tell the story and publish it into a physical book! I kind of hope we aren't going to get arrested again, if you know what I mean -"

"Er, Dan?" Phil says, interrupting Dan's ramble.

"And don't even get me _started_ on Area 51 -"

People around them started to mutter amongst themselves, and Abi kicks Dan from under the seat again. He looks at her but then it clicks, and he turns around to see - to his luck - _the same annoyed waiter as before._

Dan heaves a sigh. "Oh boy."

"Care to explain, sir?" the waiter asks, tapping his foot impatiently.

"I-It was a joke, s-sir," Dan tries to explain. "I-I...my friend, Phil, and I wrote a book, and one of the things we did was tell the story of what actually happened in Vegas, as I was supposed to make a video about it, but we kind of twisted the truth a bit, and -"

"Are you telling me you lied to readers and joked about confidential areas such as Area 51 and being hunted down by terrorists?"

"Yes." Abi and Phil's eyes widen. Dan stiffens. "I-I mean n-no. That isn't what it was. I didn't lie. I mean, I did lie, but in a way in which my viewers would understand! You see, I am a pretty well known YouTuber who makes sarcastic jokes..."

"May we just have the bill, please?" Phil manages to say through a smile. The waiter sucks in a breath and nods, putting on a stretched smile, and leaving to get their bill. Dan closes his eyes as he listens to Abi laugh a bit.

"Not funny, Abi," Dan says. Abi shakes her head.

"You can definitely make a video about that. Your viewers will _die_ for that kind of content."

Dan continues to blush. Phil pats his back with a smile.

"Stay gold, ponyboy," Phil jokes.

"You actually have to stop using that sentence before I chop your head off -"

To his unfortunate luck, the words fly out of his mouth as the waiter comes back _again_ with the bill. Dan leans back in his seat, looking at the waiter with a tired and apologetic look on his face.

"You know, I won't even try anymore," Dan says, annoyed. "Enjoy your amazing tip."

When they paid, they quickly left, and Dan smiles when the cool, summer air hits him.

"I hope I never have to go to a fancy place ever again," he says. Phil looks down, a bit guilty.

"Sorry it was such a bust," Phil mutters. Dan grins.

"Are you kidding me?" Dan says, his voice going an octave higher, wrapping Phil into a hug. "Even if you dragged me out to the end of my self esteem in a golden blazer, that was the best fucking steak I've ever had."

Abi laughs. "Well, I think there is one more place I'd like to take you."

"And where is that?" Dan asks. Phil groans, knowing the answer.

"Abi, I told you I'm not going to do it -"

* * *

"I can't believe you made me do it," Phil mutters, sipping a bit from his cocktail, loud music blaring in the background. Abi smiles, bobbing her head to the music as people around them danced in flashing lights.

"Well Dan always complains that he never goes out to any clubs, so we are all going to sacrifice a bit for our friend on his wonderful birthday," Abi says happily, sipping a bit of her own beer. Dan grins, tapping his foot to the music.

"I want to get totally hammered!" Dan exclaims over the music. "This is a place where I can be awkward without no one even listening! Plus, we have a free day tomorrow, so I'm gonna use it to suffer a wicked hangover if I have to!"

Phil smiles a bit. "I guess I can put aside my differences to get a bit drunk. Especially after what happened at the most fanciest place in Las Vegas..."

"Don't even mention it, Phil!" Dan yells over the loud music, a smile painted on her face.

Suddenly, the music changes to a familiar _Muse_ song. Abi grins.

"Knights of Cydonia!" she exclaims. Dan hoots.

"Let's party!" he yells, pumping his fist in the air, and taking another swig of his drink. Abi raised her glass.

"To Dan, the best 25 year old out here on the dance floor tonight!" she exclaims. They all clink their glasses.

"To Dan!" they exclaim.

* * *

_**Now** _

Abi's eyes shoot open, her head pounding. She sits up, and her eyes widen.

She is naked,  
in _Phil's bed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	22. Make A Wish When Your Stage Show Dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of events in which two days tend to be just a little too much for the phanabily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> Lol, whoops; it's been almost a month :P But I swear, I'm trying; school just kind of hates me right now, and I'm more focused on the shit-storm of videos that Dan and Phil are pumping out. I have every right to be a little off-track. Hopefully I can update more regularly (which is kind of like Dan saying he'll upload danisnotinteresting videos, but hey, one can try, am I right?
> 
> P.S- Not gonna lie, I cried a little during this chapter, since it is focused on TATINOF ending, and with the documentary and tour trailers, I am just so frickin' proud to be part of the Phandom. What a time to be alive :) The title is obviously dramatized for the sake of making an MCR reference :P
> 
> P.P.S- Forget everything I said about Australian TATINOF not happening; it will happen, just not descriptively. I changed it for the sake of the plot; you’ll know in the next chapter ;)
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

_**Chapter 22: Make A Wish When Your Stage Show Dies** _

Abi's heart pounds in her chest; why is she in Phil's bed? Why was she naked? The questions seemed to bubble up in her mind, brewing some sort of an anxious rant that was ready to explode out of her.

She stands up shakily, a small shot of pain aching through her skull. She knew she was hungover; her head was hurting, her vision was blurry, and the lights were threatening to shine brighter than the sun.

She struggles to remember what happened last night; she can remember the fancy restaurant incident with Dan, and she can vaguely recall entering the nightclub. From there, it was blurry; flashing lights, music pounding on the speakers, shots, and dancing with some brunette she couldn't really remember.

Abi groggily looks around, feeling a bit uncomfortable that she was naked, as if someone was watching her. She walks slowly to Phil's closet, and pulls out his dark blue robe, wrapping it around her to cover her bare body. From there, she stares at the foot of the bed.

Clothes. It's the first thing she can see. Her clothes were scattered all over the ground, and _Phil's t-shirt._ Why was Phil's t-shirt on the ground?

Abi's heart begins racing; Phil's t-shirt was on the ground. It was his bright blue pixel-pop t-shirt. She didn't remember Phil wearing it; he wore his blue blazer last night, with a white dress-shirt. His pixel-pop t-shirt was what he wore to bed though…

Abi's head hurts from all the thinking. She goes towards the full-length mirror that was leaning on the wall, tripping over the lump that was her red cocktail dress. She shudders at the sight of it, and looks at herself in the mirror.

Her hair was still in a bun, but it was messier than it was. The golden pin must've fallen out somewhere, since it was obviously not there anymore. Her glasses were lopsided on her face; to be fair, she didn't even know she still had them on. Her black heels were beside the foot of the mirror.

"Abi?"

Abi jumps, turning around at the sound of the voice.

"P-Phil?" she stutters.

Phil was standing there, with his white dress-shirt buttoned down. He was wearing his black glasses, and they too were lopsided. He was wearing the pants from last night, but his blazer was nowhere to be seen. His hair was in layered flops, turning into some sort of quiff.

"When did you wake up?" His voice is raspy and quiet; he must be hungover as well. She shakes her head, walking through the battle-field of clothes and shoving past Phil, made her way to the kitchen. Phil follows.

"Just now," she says with a shrug, moving to the small counter and getting two glasses. She is about to reach for the Advil in the cupboard, but Phil beats her to it, swinging it open and grabbing the container.

"Same," Phil says, tapping out four capsules. "Martyn has been driving for quite some while; we should get to Hollywood in three more hours. The plan is to get over our hangovers for the day, grab some lunch this afternoon, and then just chill here 'till tomorrow. We're sleeping in the tour bus this time, by the way; they are taking the hotel."

Abi nods, and he takes the water Abi prepared, swallowing the two of them with a big gulp. He offers to pills to Abi, and she manages a small smile, drinking it quietly.

"Thanks," she says. Phil shrugs.

"No big deal."

They remain quiet for a few minutes, and Abi's eyes waver towards her and Dan's room with the door closed. Phil saw what she was looking at, and he sighs, grabbing a mug and preparing some coffee.

"We didn't have sex last night," Phil says, knowing what she was thinking. Abi's eyes shoot up.

"Are you serious?" Abi says with a small sigh of relief. "Thank goodness."

Phil frowns, and Abi blushes, adding, "I mean, not like I'd not want to have sex with you or anything, but -"

"No, no, don't worry; me neither," he says with a chuckle, placing his mug under the coffee machine.

"I wouldn't want to upset Mr. Golden Boy over in the other room, if you know what I mean. I need him, you know; I make money off of him."

Abi fights the urge to laugh and masks it with more curiosity.

"Your t-shirt was on the ground."

Phil bites his lip and faces Abi. "Dan told me he was digging through my closet last night to try and find some condoms."

She nearly chokes on nothing at all.

"D-Dan? C-Condoms? What do you mean?" Her words come out as panicked and stutters. "Don't tell me...don't tell me that I had sex with Dan. Did I fuck Dan? Why was it in you room? P-Phil, please tell me -"

Phil rushes over and pulls out a chair beside Abi, rubbing he shoulder reassuringly.

"I passed out in your room, so I guess you and Dan went to my room. I don't know what you did together, but I think that's something you should probably talk about to Dan, if you know what I mean."

Abi's eyes travel back to their enclosed room.

"Is he awake?"

Phil nods. "He was the first to get up, then woke me up five minutes before you woke up, I guess. He basically kicked me out."

It's meant to be a joke, but Abi somewhat believes it.

"Cornelia and Martyn?"

"Out."

"And we have a day off today?"

"Yeah, tomorrow's the last day."

The words almost come out as choked sobs. Phil took a breath and gave a shaky smile. Abi stands up and pulls Phil onto his feet, giving him a big hug. Phil smiles behind her back, giving her a soft squeeze.

"Congratulations, Phil," Abi whispers. "You did it."'

Phil pulls back with a small smile.

"I guess _we_ did," Phil says, ruffling her hair. "Anyway, I guess should you start talking to Dan, should you? Before I start crying and stuff."

Abi manages a smile. "I guess I have to."

Silence.

"Thanks, Phil," Abi adds feebly, halfway towards their bedroom.

Phil turns around and smiles. "Thank _you._ "

* * *

Abi opens the door slowly, letting it creak. Dan is the first thing she sees.

He's on the bed, sitting there as if nothing happened. Abi suddenly realizes she is still wearing a robe, and desperately wishes she could change into something more presentable.

To her defense, he didn't look too well either. His eyes were dazed and blown wide open, and he was wearing his golden blazer with nothing underneath, revealing slightly tanned chest. His hair was in frazzled curls - though that might be the only thing Abi really liked.

"Good morning," Dan says, his voice as raspy as Phil's. Abi folds her hands behind her back.

"Good morning," she says back, going over to sit beside him. Dan looks at Abi's choice of apparel, and smile softly.

"You're wearing Phil's robe." The sentence comes out as a dumbfounded statement. Abi finds herself blushing softly.

"I am," she says, "but only because I couldn't find anything else to wear."

"You could've just worn your dress from last night." Even Dan knew the reason, but he let Abi say it anyway. She sighs.

"Because it was on the floor of Phil's room, and I didn't want to put it back on."

Dan sucks in a breath. "W-Why was it on Phil's floor?"

She faces him and says, "Because we had sex in there."

Dan's eyes are wide, and silence passed.

One.

Two.

Three -

Dan collapses into hysterics, laughing and crying. Abi looks at him, shell-shocked, and fights the urge to smack the back of his head.

"What the hell, Dan?!" she yells angrily.

Dan doesn't answer. He's too busy wiping the tears from his face. Abi shakes her head in disbelief.

"Dan, this isn't funny!" Abi exclaims, trying not to sound like a child whining. "We had drunk sex in Phil's room! Why aren't you taking this as seriously as I am?!"

Dan shrugs and replies, "Maybe it's because I know we didn't have sex."

Abi's breath hitches. "W-What?"

Dan nods. "We didn't have sex, Abi. I mean, I don't remember much from last night - other than the fact that we drank a lot, resulting in this terrible hangover - but I know we didn't have sex."

"T-Then why did I wake up naked?" she stutters; things weren't matching up. "Why are my clothes on the ground? A-And Phil said you were looking for a con-"

"Yeah, I was," Dan says, blood rushing to his cheeks. "I mean, I think the intention _was_ to have sex, but we probably passed out before we could do anything other than stripping off our clothes.'

"How do you remember this?" Abi asks. "You were as drunk as I was. Or at least, I assume you were; I know you wouldn't try to do anything stupid -"

Dan shook his head. "Of course not."

"...so we didn't do anything."

"Yes."

Abi puffs out a sigh of relief, letting her back hit the surface of the bed. She stares at the ceiling.

"Thank god," she says with a small smile. She feels Dan fall flat on his back beside her. He turns his head and smiles at Abi.

"I know. It sucks that for the two times that I got blackout drunk with you, nothing happened. Just some stripping and that's it; not even a flimsy kiss or anything." Dan smiles, then adds, "Maybe third time's the charm."

Abi's cheeks go red. "Go eat breakfast, Dan. I think Phil's pouring us some cereal."

* * *

"How do you think Striker's doing?" Phil asks later that night, when they were all eating dinner. "It's been nearly three months since we've last seen him."

Dan replies through a mouth full of Chinese takeout, "Do you think Chris and PJ let him starve to death?"

Abi shudders at the thought. "Shut up, Dan!"

Martyn laughs, sneaking a glance at the sun setting over the horizon.

"Our free day comes and goes, my friends," he says. "Here ends the last free day of the whole entire tour."

"Last free day?" Cornelia echoes. Phil nods solemnly.

"Yup. Tomorrow's the last show, then we're going back."

Cornelia's eyes widen as she asks, "Is it actually the last show tomorrow? Is Hollywood the last show before we go home?"

Dan nods wordlessly. Abi leans back in her chair.

"I can't believe it's over," she says quietly. "It's been a really awesome three months. I mean, we've went absolutely everywhere; we even went to Canada…"

"A very small part of Canada, mind you," Dan says with a smile. "Maybe we can visit more of it in the future; perhaps after the tour and documentary come out."

The thought totally escaped her mind; she had forgotten that the whole thing was being filmed. There were camera people following their tour bus, but she made sure that she wasn't part of anything. Still, it was cool seeing Dan and Phil do all these different things for the tour; they never exercised so much in their life, to say the least.

"Speaking of which, are we still having the viewing party in October?" Phil asks as he stands up to start clearing the table. Martyn stands to do the same.

"I assume we're invited, right?" Martyn asks with a smirk. Phil fakes a smile.

"Of course," he says, then looks at Dan and whispers loudly, "Dan, put 'em on the list."

This earns some laughs from the group, and everyone helped clear dishes. When it's all done, Dan opens his calendar on his phone.

"On the day of release, right?" Dan asks.

Phil hums a "yes", and Dan mumbles his gratitude, typing out a reminder. Abi smiles, twirling around and grabbing the two Brits' shoulders.

"Well y'all should probably get some sleep!" Abi chirps. "You have a big day tomorrow."

Phil and Dan exchange looks, and they smile.

"We do, don't we?" Phil says with a small smile. They hear the door close; Cornelia and Martyn must've left for their hotel room.

As Abi washes the dishes, Dan ushers Phil over to the couch. He sets his phone beside him, and watches Phil sit down beside him.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Phil asks. Dan looks over to Abi to see if she's listening - he knows she is, but now he doesn't care - and looks at Phil.

"I just want to say thanks for the best almost-seven years I've ever had," Dan mumbles quietly. Phil looks at Dan with wide eyes.

"P-Pardon?" he asks. Dan shrugs.

"I just wanted to say thanks," Dan repeats. "You are the only reason I went this far. You...you are kind of my saviour."

Phil blushes. "Well, I wouldn't have made it without you as well, Dan. You always have to remember that you got yourself here too. Those extra three million people know that."

Now Dan feels himself go red, and he says, "It shouldn't be that way."

"No matter," Phil says with a shrug; "numbers don't matter to me anyway."

"Nonetheless, thank you, Phil," Dan says with a soft smile. "I'm so glad you answered those stalker-ish six years ago."

Phil leans back in his seat. "Has it really been that long?"

Dan laughs and replies, "Yeah, I know. We're almost hitting seven years since _Phil is not on fire,_ you know. It's shocking."

Phil squeezes Dan's hand. "Now look where we are."

Dan finds himself staring at Abi a bit, who he knew was smiling.

"Look where we are," Dan echoes quietly. Phil grins.

"I'm so glad I met you, Dan," Phil whispers. Dan looks at Phil, and flashes him a small smile, squeezing his hand back.

"I'm so glad I met you too."

They lock eyes for a while before Abi goes up to them with a grin. Dan felt his phone vibrating from beside him - it was a blocked number anyway; he can listen to the voicemail later - and moved so Abi could sit in the middle. His hand brushes against hers, and she reels back with a small blush. Dan notices and pulls his hand back softly with cheeks as red as hers.

"You too are the cutest things ever," Abi gushes, then adds a little more quieter, "I am glad I met you guys as well, by the way."

Phil squeezes her shoulder. "Us too."

Dan is now checking his voicemail, putting it on speaker and listening to the new message.

" _Hey, Daniel!"_

The voice sent shivers down his spine right away; it was deep and masked with some sort of voice-alteration machine.

Phil and Abi quiet down to listen to the message as well, and Dan, kind of anticipating who it was, listened with a fast-paced heart.

" _I heard it's your last show. Very happy for you as always! You've come so far from when I used to watch you from your apartment window. Is Roomie with you guys? I've seen you walking to and from your tour bus. She's not that cute, to be honest; someone can definitely love you more. And did you get my present? It wasn't hard to get; that boy is basically out when he's asleep."_

Abi's eyes dart towards Dan, whose hand was shaking. Phil leans in forward.

" _I look forward to finally stroking that lovely fringe of yours! Every phangirl's dream, huh? Only some try though - I am definitely one of them. Kisses from endtheroomie."_

Met with a dial-tone, the three exchange nervous glances.

"D-Dan," Abi says slowly, trying to mask her stutter; "who was that?"

Dan can't find words to speak. His breathing sped up, and he feels his heart pounding against his chest. He stutters a bit, nearly dropping his phone. Phil gently pushes him back on the chair.

"Dan, please talk," Phil says. "What is that person talking about?"

"S-Stalker," Dan manages to choke out. "It's a stalker. The first time I actually noticed them was at the hospital. I went out for a while and got a text from this person. I blocked them, thinking I wouldn't hear from them again. Then they commented on our roommate tag video - the one I deleted, remember?"

Abi nods. "You were freaked out. I was wondering why you deleted that."

Dan sighs. "I was. It was scary. This person knew our phone number, and the person threatened Abi. I wanted to go to the police about it, but I just figured it was going to pass. I reported and deleted her account later that night."

"Okay, but that doesn't explain much about how they were able to contact you in the first place," Phil says. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want to worry you guys," Dan says quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Is there anything else?" Abi asks.

Dan nods. "The night I fainted. It wasn't because I was tired or anything; this person - 'endtheroomie' or what their name is - sent a snippet of Phil's hair."

Phil's hand instinctively goes to his head, and Abi stifles her gasps in her hands.

"Holy crap," Abi whispers. Dan nods.

"This person knows my number, they know where we live, they _touched Phil…_ " Dan trails off, panic rising in his voice. Phil shakes his head.

"Dan, we need to go to the police about this."

"We can't!" Dan blurts out. "We can't draw this kind of attention to ourselves, Phil. If too many people know, then something bad can happen to any one of us; they already threatened Abi multiple times, a-and -"

Dan was cut off by choking on his own words. He didn't want to finish his sentence. Abi rubs Dan's shoulder.

"Although we're upset that you didn't tell us, we'll keep it secret for now," Abi says quietly, then faces Phil and says, "We're gonna keep this under the wraps for now. If anything turns up, then we go to the police."

Phil hesitates, looks at both his friends, and then sighs in defeat.

"Fine. We keep it a secret for now. But the moment something turns up -"

"We will tell the police. We can even tweet it out or something, to get the person to stop," Dan says firmly. "For now, I just want all accounts linked to 'endtheroomie' to be deleted and reported. Maybe we can stop this person," Dan says in a big rush. Abi sighs.

"Slow down, Dan; you're going to give yourself a heart attack." Abi coaxes Dan to take deep breaths, and then looks at the time; 9:00 pm.

"We should go to bed," Phil says quietly. "We're going to forget about it for now, and have a damn great show tomorrow."

"Preach," Dan says with a soft giggle, and in five seconds, the anxiety from before has been washed away by fatigue.

Too lazy and comfortable to go to their rooms, Phil gets a blanket and a few pillows and they all crash on the couch.

When Phil's fast asleep, and Dan is blinking in and out of consciousness, Abi tiredly snuggles into Dan's chest. Dan sleepily smiles.

"Love you," he mumbles. Abi looks up at him, and smiles softly.

"I...I think I love you too."

Abi closes her eyes, but Dan's stay open; he's going to run on coffee for the next twenty-four hours.

* * *

The crowd was absolutely insane. Despite Dan and Phil warning her, Abi was able to sneak into the crowd to watch the show from the crowd's perspective. Luckily, she was unrecognized, but it was amazing to see Dan and Phil perform live on-stage.

They were so animated. It was amazing - no pun intended. She knew the whole outline of the show by heart since she attended nearly every rehearsal and was at every show, but somehow they do this new "thing" every time that made her collapse in hysterics.

Dan was shining in that golden suit - _literally._ And while Phil was absolutely wonderful throughout the whole show as always, there was something about Dan that seemed... _right._

His smile was wider, his laughs were more real, and at the end of the show, something happened she wasn't expecting.

Dan looked straight at her.

Well, it might've not been right at her, since she was so lost in the whole crowd, but it seemed like his stare was burning into hers.

"Thank you, Hollywood!" Phil screams over the loud noise at the very end. "You made the ending of TATINOF: America the best one it could ever be!"

Eyes locked on Abi, Dan smiles and yells, "We love you! _I_ love you!"

It was directed to the crowd. It drives them nuts, and Abi would normally enjoy seeing them rile a crowd up like that. But this time, it felt like he was trying to make her go crazy.

She wasn't sure if she hated it as much as she should've.

* * *

When Abi met Dan and Phil in the parking lot late after the last show, Phil breaks down into tears when he runs into her arms.

"I-It's over," he chokes out. "We did it. We fucking did it."

Hearing Phil swear out of tears of happiness didn't really faze Abi. Dan hugs the two of them.

"I can't believe TATINOF is finished," Dan sniffles. "We have come so far. We went to so many places. I think this was the biggest adventure I've ever been on."

"It was definitely the most fun I've ever had," Abi says with a small smile. Phil wipes the tears from his eyes and they walk towards the tour bus.

"Me too," Phil gushes. "During the meet and greet, a fan literally reduced me to tears. She said that my videos saved her...that is literally the most rewarding thing at the end of the day."

Dan shrugs. "It wasn't the most fun I've ever had though."

Abi and Phil stop in their tracks. "What do you mean?"

Dan smiles fondly. "October 25th, 2009; _the most fun I've ever had."_

And now all of them are in tears in front of their tour bus, and in front of Drake the bodyguard, who just patted their back and let them be.

"I-I love you so much, guys," Phil says through tears. "Thank you so much."

They pull back a few moments later, and as they go in the tour bus, Dan smiles.

"At least we have Australia, am I right?" Dan says with a chuckle. Abi rolls her eyes.

"Way to ruin it, Dan," Abi chuckles.

Silence. Cornelia and Martyn were out getting some dinner. Dan looks at the dark sky.

"What now?"

Silence again. Abi smiles.

* * *

They eat ice-cream outside their tour bus, watching the stars glisten above the roof of the Dolby theater.

"Make a wish when your stage show dies," Abi says when they see a shooting star. Dan smiles at the reference.

"I wish we can be like this every night," Dan whispers.

Phil grins. "I do too, Dan. I do too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is coming out on October 5th [I hope :P]! Look forward to that, I guess. Though you are probably all going to be watching the TATINOF documentary, so read this after, okay? (And please find a way to show it to me :P) 
> 
> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	23. Party at the End of the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months later, after TATINOF ends, the phanabily decide to celebrate, not new jobs, or the end of an era, but new beginnings and open doors (and Dan and Abi share some "totally platonic" kisses, but that isn't that important, right?).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> P.S- I need to stop with the MCR references, but I just keep listening to The Black Parade/Living With Ghosts and I always cry :P

 

_**Chapter 23: Party at the End of the World** _

Lots of things happen in the next few months.

They go home after the Hollywood show and come back around mid-July. Phil uploaded a video after returning, and Dan filmed an Internet Support Group so he had a video to upload during the Australian leg of their tour.

Despite all their pleads, Abi decided not to join them on their Australian journey. She said that she needed to get some things done - it was all very vague, and eventually, Dan and Phil just let her stay home with Striker.

It wasn't a complete lie; she really did want to get things done. The thing she didn't mention to the two boys is that of those things involved getting a job.

She got an email when she came back from TATINOF: USA from a local record store not too far from their flat. It was a job offer to sort out records and recommend music to customers. She had been told that someone had found her music blog and really liked her opinions, so she wanted to prepare for her job interview in early-September and become more active on her blog to improve it.

And it worked; she gained more followers, more attention, and, most importantly, more experience. She listened to two or three new albums a day on repeat, and she would draft her opinions the following night to write a proper review the next day. It was a slow, but productive process. She also used the time alone to prioritize her resume, since she has a lot more experience than she did when she got a job at Tesco all those years ago.

Even if Striker was there to keep her company, she was still a bit lonely. Louise, PJ, Chris and Carrie came and went to hang out, but she still felt that the house was a bit empty without Dan and Phil. She realized that it wasn't the same without the two goofing around the house. They uploaded enough videos during the month of August to keep her satisfied, but it was weird watching their life unfold on a screen rather than experiencing it with them.

But she scraped through the days, and eventually they came back in September with gifts involving stuffed kangaroos and some weird shrimp-egg-thing Phil got and was determined to hatch. She ended up spilling the beans about her job the day the day before the interview, since they found her resume in the living room, and they celebrated by going to the same pizzeria that they went to with PJ and Sophie.

Speaking of pizzeria, Phil also reunited with Rosa once again the night they went to the place. After that night, they started becoming closer; it went from small dinner dates, to staying over for movies, to even staying the night at her place. Dan and Abi didn't mind; as long as they got all the info they wanted and was able to tease the hell out of him, they didn't care about Phil's recent absence, as it was mostly due to being happy, which is all the black-haired Brit really deserved.

And Dan and Abi had some more bonding to do anyway; with Phil being occupied with Rosa, it gave them more opportunities to become closer. Abi knew she wasn't ready to become a "thing" with Dan, but she was pretty sure she wanted to soon.

Dan seemed that way too; they went on casual dates they called "hang-outs" and shared a few "platonic" kisses, because according to Dan, "That's just what friends do".

It wasn't, but Abi didn't care.

So September came and went with its busy schedules and tight deadlines; they were preparing for the release of _Dan and Phil Go Outside,_ and the release of their two _YouTube Red_ original movies in the beginning of October. Abi had went to her interview, then was called back later in the month.

After all her hard work, in the beginning of October, she found out she got the job. Ecstatic, Dan, Phil, and Abi decide to celebrate all of their milestones; a new job, the end of a TATINOF-filled era, and new beginnings with new people.

And that's when their life hit breaking point.

* * *

All their friends sat around the TV in the lounge; Louise, Carrie, PJ, Sophie, Chris, Rosa, Felix, and Marzia. Phil's laptop was propped open on the coffee with a live-countdown to 7:00 PM. Abi comes into the lounge from the kitchen with three big bowls of popcorn balanced in her hands. Dan trails after her with a case of beer in one hand, along with party hats and party poppers in his other hand.

"Okay, guys; ten more minutes until TATINOF comes out on YouTube Red," Dan says, his voice giddy with excitement as he handed out drinks and party accessories. "Everyone put on your party hats and get ready to blow the party-poppers; you're always being filmed."

This gets a laugh out of Felix, who says, "Typical stalker-Dan!"

Dan laughs uneasily, his mind still on the recent stalker-like events, but brushes it off. Phil gets a handful of popcorn, which draws Striker's attention, and he gives him a small piece.

"We'll film the countdown finishing with the streamers everywhere, then we post it on Twitter, announcing the official release," Phil says through a mouth of popcorn. "Then the night is ours to watch...ourselves, I guess."

Abi laughs. "Wow, this event is kind of narcissistic; the fact you guys threw a party to watch and _admire_ yourself on the 'big screen'."

Dan rolls his eyes as Striker curls up beside Phil on the ground.

"I can't believe you are the first Brits to have a YouTube Red original series," Louise gushes. "Gahh, I'm so proud of you two!"

The closest person she can hug is Phil, who was sitting beside her on the floor, so she squeezes him and gives Striker a small pat on the head. Phil blushes.

"This is just an excuse to make money," Chris teases. Dan shrugs in the same matter.

"Hey, a guy gotta exploit his fan-base if he wants to live a luxurious life," Dan replies smoothly, which earns a giggle from Carrie.

"Besides, this is Abi's party too," Sophie points out. "She _did_ get a job after all! Her first official one!"

Now it's Abi's turn to blush, to which Dan reminds himself to tease about later.

"Five more minutes, friends! Everyone assemble!" PJ exclaims, his eyes glancing over to the live countdown.

All of their friends rush to gather around the TV; Felix, Marzia, Carrie, Sophie, Rosa, Phil, Striker, and Louise sit on the ground around the TV, and Carrie, PJ, Chris, and Dan sit on the couch. Abi snuggles beside Dan, and he instinctively puts his arm around her.

Abi fights off a smile.

"Two more minutes!" Marzia cheers, reaching for some popcorn from the bowl on the coffee table. Felix let's out a "whoop!" and Sophie and PJ prepare to release their party poppers.

"Ooh, it's happening!" Carrie says, a smile on her face. "Soon, it'll be 7, and you guys will be YouTube Red stars! You're probably going to be more famous than any of us in a minute, thirty seconds."

"Hey! I beg to differ!" Felix cuts in. Dan rolls his eyes.

"And says the girl who performs on the West End, which is far more important than YouTube is," Dan retorts, to which Carrie's cheeks go red. Abi pats Dan's back.

"Hey, you're pretty famous in my eyes," Abi whispers.

"Says you, Miss. Tumblr-Famous." It was meant to be a compliment, but Dan couldn't muster any courage to tell her that he was thankful he was "famous" _with her._

"One minute!" Phil's giddy voice startles Dan, Abi, and even Striker, who perks up at the sound of his voice.

Dan and Abi exchange a small smile as their friends watch the timer go from fifty seconds to forty. There was some unspoken feelings between them that they couldn't voice, but they made some sort of silent decision to keep quiet for the sake of their night.

"Ten!" Abi decided to brave up.

"Nine!" She locked eyes with Dan and squeezed his hand.

"Eight!" Dan stared at her, almost dumbfounded.

"Seven!" Abi takes a breath.

"Six!" (It isn't even New Year's; why does it feel like all of Abi's hard work during the year was leading up to this moment?)

"Five!" Dan continues to stare, growing confused.

"Four!" She has to make her move soon...

"Three!" ...before it's too late to do anything.

"Two!" She pulls herself up to his level, her hand still in his,

"One!" Dan can't react because,

Everyone cheers when the clock hits 7:00, and _Abi pulls Dan to her lips._

* * *

They post the ten-second reaction video to Phil's twitter account the minute, but everyone complains that Dan and Abi were cut out of view. Phil wants to say that it was probably for the best, but he feels as if it was self-explanatory; Abi and Dan didn't mention it, so he won't either.

At the moment, they were a solid twenty minutes into the footage of their tour. Chris was cracking jokes along the whole way - "Didn't you split your pants at one point?" he asks, much to Dan's dismay - and Carrie was laughing through Dan and Phil's skits and jokes on-screen. Louise, Marzia, and PJ were watching animatedly, throwing in compliments here and there, and Felix took every opportunity to make Dan or Phil blush, which always made Phil smile. Dan and Abi were silent, but he could see it in their eyes; they were enjoying their company with each other, and had no shame in their actions before.

"I'm so proud of you, Philly," Rosa says, a slur in her voice that sounded like a cat's purr. "You've come so far from 2006 -" She caught herself, and added, "Or so my sister has told me."

Phil blushes, making a brave move to hold her hand.

"Thanks, Rosa," he says bashfully. "I have, I suppose."

All his friends' actions and the sound of the TV were drowned behind him. Rosa looks at Phil with wide, green eyes. Her red ponytail bounced behind her back. Phil watches as her freckles rose with her cheekbones, that moved into a small smile, in almost slow motion

"What do you mean 'I suppose'?" she echoes. " _Of course_ you've come far! It's absolutely shocking! Imagine, you were once a teenager doing his exams in his black-and-white room. It is - _you are_ \- amazing."

Phil can't find the words to speak, but he lets the younger red-head snuggle against the crook of his neck with affection.

He continues to watch the movie, but his thoughts are elsewhere, along with his feelings for the girl sitting beside in.

* * *

The party ends, and everyone goes home. Phil heads to bed early, letting Striker sleep with him on his bed. Abi and Dan clean up, and it gives them an opportunity to talk.

"Did you mind what I did earlier?" Abi asks quietly. "I-I mean, it was more of a compulsory action; as if I did it on instinct…"

She trails off; that wasn't true, she thought. But she couldn't find any other reasonable explanation. Much to her relief, however, Dan looked more calm than she was.

"Of course I didn't mind," Dan says, finishing up the last of the clean-up. "That is everything I could ever want; you to kiss me whenever you feel like it."

Abi saw it coming, but she blushes for the umpeenth time of the night.

"So no hard feelings?"

Dan shakes his head, raising an empty beer bottle on the coffee table. He holds it by the neck and raises it towards Abi.

"To your new job?" he prompts, raising the glass in a mock-toast. Abi looks over her shoulder with a smile.

"To the end of the TATINOF era," she adds.

Dan smiles. "How about to new beginnings and open doors?'

Abi stops what she's doing and smiles.

"I like that, actually," she says quietly, and they finally realize how close they are to each other; figuratively and literally.

"I do too," Dan whispers quietly, and it's like he's begging to be kissed.

Abi, of course, delivers the act for the second time that night, and no words are said after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	24. Welcome to the British Invasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> feat. parent!phan, embarrassed child!abi, cute!striker (when isn't that damn dog cute?) and the start of the british invasion (not really, but there are a lot of brits, for the exception of one texan accent).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> I am pleased to tell you that the rough total chapter count for this story is 43 chapters :) Things can only go up from here...right?
> 
> Anyway, forty-three is not for a long time, so let's enjoy twenty-four.
> 
> (side note: I saw their YouTube Red movies on StreamFlix; god bless them they are literally a god-send)
> 
> P.S- The record store name is a joke made by me, which is pretty obvious, and I am 99.9% sure it's not real. For the 0.1% chance that it is real, then I don't own it, I guess :P

_**Chapter 24: Welcome to the British Invasion** _

"So you're going to be alright?" Dan asks, passing a small bag to Phil, who tosses it to Abi. Dan's eyes widen, and he adds, "Phil, be careful! That salad has been tossed to its limit!"

Phil replies, "Relax! Just giving it one last toss before the big day."

"Guys, stop arguing about whether my salad has to be tossed or not," Abi says with a roll of her eyes, adjusting her cameo jacket. She adds, "And of course I'll be alright; you guys are making me feel like it's the first day of school."

Dan walks to the lounge and wraps Abi in an over-dramaticized hug.

"Oh, but sweetie, it is your first day at work," he cooes, "and we are going to miss you very much."

Abi gestures her disgust with her finger halfway through her mouth. "Ugh, leave me alone, mom."

Dan laughs, squeezing her tighter. Phil decides to intervene between the two, and he pushes Dan onto the couch.

"While ignoring mom-Dan over here," Phil says with a small smile, "make sure you have everything, okay? Do you have your laptop? And your opinions on the unreleased songs on 'The Black Parade' are memorized, right? There was a lot you wanted to say about that. How about -"

"Guys, I'm literally just an intern at a record store," Abi says. "The only thing I'd forget is my lunch, and that's pretty much it. I don't need things memorized - I just need to know what I'm doing and just speak as if I am making another review."

"Sounds like a lot of work," Dan comments offhandedly.

"For _you_ it is," Abi retorts, and Dan throws a pillow at her. She catches it and tosses it back, and Dan groans.

"You messed up my hair!" he protested. Phil laughs.

"Dan, you're ruining her focus." He faces Abi again and says, "Do you want to go through your little practice thing?"

Abi nods. "Finally, the one thing you dorks are helping me do."

"Who are you calling dork, _dork_?" Dan says from the couch. Abi ignores him.

"Okay, so I am just a music noob walking into a record store for the first time," - Phil pretends to walk, his arms swinging back and forth. Abi rolls her eyes - "and hey, you're the first person I see!"

Abi was quick to say, "Hey, welcome to 'British Invasion' - you need any help?"

Phil continues to stare ahead. Dan rolls his eyes.

"Phil!" he hisses. "That's your cue!"

Phil's head turns around and his eyes widen in realization. "Oh yeah, right! Sorry - I was just fangirling over the name again."

"You're only saying that because you didn't know what the 'British invasion' was," Dan points out, and Phil looks down meekly. Abi throws her hands up in frustration.

"Can someone just say the damn line?" she asked, annoyed, but trying not to let a smile go through. Dan rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm looking for a new album to listen to," Dan recites from the couch. "Would you ever be so kind as to recommend an album to me?"

"Dan, I thought you were a 'drama kid'?" Phil says, air-quoting the words. "What kind of acting is that?"

"My acting days are over and you know that," Dan replies, and Abi sighs.

"Anyway," she says, stretching the word, "what kind of music do you listen to?"

Dan pretends to think about it for a while, and answers, "I'm kind of an emo guy."

"Yeah, the haircut says it."

"Abi, you shouldn't be insulting the customer," Dan gasps, a hand over his heart. Abi fights the urge to punch him lightly.

"Any bands you enjoy?"

"A variety, I guess," Dan says nonchalantly.

"Dan, this is supposed to be helping me learn how to help someone find a new album to listen to!" Abi whines. "You need to be more specific."

"It's an honest answer," Dan protests.

"Just give a band," Abi says, and Dan thinks about it for a while.

"Muse," he decides. "I've listened to _Showbiz_ , which I enjoyed, but I wanted to know if there were any of their works that could've been better than that album."

Phil looks at Abi, who already has her answer.

" _Origin of Symmetry_ is definitely an album I would recommend," Abi says. "It's an aesthetically pleasing piece of art, and the vocals that Matt Bellamy throws in are astounding. If would also suggest listening to their new album _Drones_ , which is heavily based off conspiracy theories on the government and how it works. It's a very political album, but it does a pretty good job delivering some kind of story or message throughout the songs."

Dan stares at her for a solid minute, looking pretty dumbfounded. Abi frowns.

"Are you alright, Dan?" she asks. "Was that too much, or -"

"Of course not," Dan says at last. "It was very informative. I would probably think you are an expert already, and then prove it by reading your blog."

"Thanks," Abi says meekly.

They stare at each other for a while, smiling. They hear Phil cough, and he grabs their attention.

"Well, now that you rehearsed and stuff, we should probably start on your costume-change and your blocking for the next scene," Phil teases.

"It's a nerve-wrecking job!" Abi complains.

"Only because it involves socializing beyond your level," Dan says with a smirk, and this time, Abi does punch him on the arm lightly. Dan looks at her, mock-hurt.

"In all honesty, Abi, I hope you have a great first day at work," Phil says, squeezing her into a tight hug. "We are all very excited for you."

"I know you guys are," Abi says softly. "It means a lot that you guys are supporting me."

"Of course we are," Dan agrees, standing up from the couch. "The friendship rule and all that kind of stuff."

Abi's lip perks up, and she looks at her watch.

"Well, it's already ten to nine - I better catch a taxi, or I'll probably be late," she announces, squeezing her friends into a quick hug.

"What will we do without you?" Dan fake-cries.

"Get some groceries," she offhandedly replies, much to Dan's annoyance.

"It's actually Phil's turn to do that!" Dan points out, to which Phil groans, knowing he was right.

"As much as I'd love to hear your domestic arguments, I have to go. Peace, love, and happiness!"

On her way out, she catches the attention of Striker, who skips down the stairs and licks her leg. She pats him on the head, and halfway out the door, she hears Dan's voice.

"Hey, Abi?" Her head pops back into the house, and Dan is at the foot of the door, holding a small bag.

"You forgot your lunch."

For the umpteenth time that morning, she smiles.

* * *

The big, dimmed-neon sign was the first thing she saw. It said _'British Invasion'_ in pink and green cursive font, and on their display window were different models of record players and some album covers. She looks at herself in the faint reflection of the window and sighs.

_'You got this,'_ she thinks confidently. She smooths her shirt, adjusts her brown-rimmed glasses, and walks into the familiar store.

She's greeted to the third track off The Beatles' _Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band_ and the warm atmosphere of the store. It was a two-floored store, with the top floor having the main cashier and the record players, along with band merchandise and featured albums - Abi was excited to have input on that - and there was a big staircase at the end of the first floor leading to the basement, where all the records were sorted into genre and artist. There was a little lounge area in the back of store where you could play your own records, or listen to samples of different records, all while testing some record players.

Abi took in a deep breath - she felt like she was at her second-home.

"Hiya, Abi!" a voice chirps from behind her. She turns around and smiles.

"Hey, Jonathan!" she says happily.

"You got here on time, so I guess we can skip the awkward 'it's your first day, so I'll let it slide, but if it happens again, there's consequences' talk, huh?" he says, digging through his pocket and pulling out a tag. "At least you're on time so I could give you this."

In his hand is a small pin in the shape of a record with Abi's name engraved on it in cursive. She beams, and puts it on her jacket.

"This is so cool! Thanks, Jon," she gushes. Jonathan grins.

"Anything for our star-employee. I'm not the mean boss anyway," Jonathan replies, before snapping his fingers and adding, "Oh, and I forgot to remind you that you'll be having a mentor hang out with you for the next couple of days."

Abi blushes. "I don't need help, Jon. I learned enough during the training."

"I know you don't, kid, but store policies and what not," Jonathan says with a shrug. Abi rolls her eyes.

"Who are you calling a kid?" she scoffs. "You're twenty-six; a mere two year difference."

"Two years and a month!" he reminds her. Abi chuckles.

"Anyway, where is said mentor?"

Jonathan shrugs. "She's probably downstairs. If she's not, she's probably not here yet, so you organize the basement for opening and I'll send her down."

"Ugh, is she always this late?" Abi teases. Jonathan cracks a smile.

"She's actually the owner of the place."

Abi's jaw drops. "I thought you were the owner?"

"Nope, I am just your boss," Jonathan says. "She is the manager and the store owner, so technically she has slightly more power than me."

"Slightly?" Abi deadpans. Jonathan shrugs.

"I am just a boss' pet, that's all."

"Great, I'm going to start having to buy you flowers and fondle you with chocolate," Abi whines, and Jonathan just pushes her towards the basement.

"Go!" he says through laughter. "There was a new shipment last night that needs to be unpacked, and they can probably handle you more than I can."

Abi goes down the stairs to start unpacking the boxes of new arrivals. She hums to the song on the store speakers, sorting the albums by genre, then moving to the longue and fixing up the place.

She hears the door open and slightly mumbles from upstairs, and she figures it was her mentor. She takes a breath and pastes a smile on her face. Her back is against the staircase when she hears them speak.

"So you're the new kid, huh?"

Abi goes rigid, and she turns around slowly to see -

"Rosalina?" she nearly exclaims. For some reason, Rosa looks just as shocked.

"Abi!" she says, throwing her arms up and wrapping her in a hug. "Now this will be way less boring than some idiot who doesn't know what they're doing, am I right?"

She pauses, and adds, "You do know what you're doing, right?"

"Of course," Abi says happily. "I am just glad you aren't some person who doesn't want to tolerate my presence, am I right?"

"Now I didn't say that," Rosa teases, and Abi awkwardly laughs.

They stand around for a minute, and Rosa finally breaks the ice.

"So," she says mischievously, "wanna play a prank on Jon or something? I keep a jack-in-the-box in the cashier every night, and despite the fact that it always happens, he gets scared in the end."

"As tempting as it sounds," Abi chuckles, "I kind of want to know how you never told us you owned a record store. I thought you worked at the pizzeria."

Rosalina shrugs, popping some bubble gum in her mouth.

"Got to keep up the money somehow," Rosa says nonchalantly. Abi's eyes widen.

"You are dedicated, that's for sure," Abi comments. "Does Phil know?"

"He will eventually, I suppose," Rosa says smugly. "That innocent soul can never get enough of all this anyway."

Rosa sways to emphasize her points, and Abi musters a laugh - her over-confidence is something Abi definitely admired, if not feared.

"So," Rosa smirks, "shall we get started?"

* * *

And the day carries on. Rose teaches Abi a few tricks and tips to help lessen her work and quicken her daily jobs, and she even teaches Abi how to come off as a "socialite" in front of customers.

Near the end of the day, when Jonathan has left to sweep up the downstairs, the two girls are upstairs, watching the last customers come and go.

"Almost five, hun," Rosa beams. "You officially survived your first shift here!"

"Thanks," Abi says proudly. "I feel like I learned a lot, thanks to you."

"I am amazing after all," Rosa smirks, and Abi rolls her eyes. "What's your schedule, Abi? I mean, I just want to know so I don't have to show up when it's just Jonathan and some of his friends helping downstairs. You are pretty much our first official employee that is getting paid."

Abi blushes. "Five days a week, basically. Though it's Friday today - I have the weekend off."

"Good," Rosa says. "If it was on the weekend, I would change it in a heartbeat."

Abi mumbles her gratitude, and her eyes fall on something shiny on Rosa's chest.

"I like your necklace," she blurts out, and Rosa snaps her attention towards the Brit, before looking down at her neck and smiling.

"A hunk of eye-candy, huh?" Rosa acknowledged. "My da' gave it to me 'fore he passed."

Abi's smile falls. "I-I'm...I'm sorry for bringing it up."

Rosa waves her hands dismissively, as if she could just dust away the thought.

"No bother crying 'bout things you can't change." Her Texan accent drops to a small whisper, and Abi sighs, fiddling her thumbs - how could she make this less awkward?

"I don't have a dad either," she admits. Rosa raises an eyebrow.

"What'd you mean?"

"Well, I do have a dad," Abi rephrases. "He wasn't a good one though. He practically drove my mom right to her death, and he was an abusive maniac."

A pause before Rosa finally says, "Sorry to hear."

Abi shrugs. "What can you do?"

The two girls stand in silence at the counter, and Rosa looks at Abi meekly.

"Does Phil really like me?" she asks quietly, her confidence somewhat dimming. Abi rests her hand on her chin.

"Phil hasn't been in love for a long time - actually, from where I stand, I've never seen a girl who has caught his attention quite like you do," Abi confesses. "It may not be love yet, but that's only 'cause he doesn't know what it is quite yet."

"Will he ever?" Rosa hums.

"Eventually," Abi says carefully. Rosa throws her head back over-dramatically.

"Ugh, boys, am I right?" she moans, and Abi laughs.

The clock hits five, and Rosa smiles.

"Well, that's you," she says.

"You sure?" Abi asks. "I can close up if you want to go home or something."

"I'll close up," Rosa repeats, more firmly this time. "Just a few things I want to sort out with Jon first before leaving, and some paperwork," she adds vaguely.

Abi smiles, hauling her smile bag over her shoulder. "Alright then! Feel free to come over to our place - I'm sure Phil would love to see you again."

Rosa's eyes twinkle with an indescribable gleam. "Good night, Abi. I had a great night."

Abi turns around at the sudden compliment and Rosa shoos her off. Abi grasps onto the strap of her bag, and feebly replies, "You too!" and walks out of the store, with a small smile on her face.

…

"Close up, will you?"

* * *

_he's walking home at the exact time she knew he would - it was his turn after all._

_he carries tesco bags up the stairs to their doorstep and knocks on the door. she watches carefully as he pulls the key out of his front pocket, and he bends slightly to put the bags down to unlock the door, revealing the house number plate._

_'bingo,' she thinks, and pulls out her camera, zooms in, and snaps a picture._

_'click!'_

_at the sound of the noise, he jumps, immediately turning around. she ducks behind the bushes with a smile, looking at the photo with a smile - time to see how the internet would react to this._

…

"Phil?" The black-haired boy nearly drops his keys, which were midway to the keyhole. He's greeted by Abi, who clearly just came home from looking at her name tag.

"You coming in?" she asks again. "You've been standing there for, like, five minutes - you're going to freeze to death, and Dan's going to die waiting for you to play Mario Kart.

Phil looks around hesitantly once more, and swears he sees a gleam of red.

"I'm coming," he ends up saying, "just help me with these groceries, would you?"

…

_it was risky, she knows, though it was always worth it to see him freak out like that - the poor bastard._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	25. Queen of Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the dates play 'queen of hearts', and it results in a naked-phil and a turned-on-dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> ***/The barrier of two lines unlike anything else tells a different story/***
> 
> I'm trying something new ;)

_**Chapter 25: Queen of Hearts** _

Phil rushes out of his bedroom nearly skids across the wooden floors at the foot of the staircase. He grabs onto the railing to gain balance and flies down the stairs, simultaneously looking at his watch.

"Crap, I'm going to be late," Phil mutters under his breath as he gets to the bottom floor, walking across the living room. He flips pillows off the couch and mutters, "Where's my phone?"

Abi walks past him and sits on the couch. She crosses her legs with a smug smile.

"And the white rabbit with a strange, black fringe says 'I'm late, I'm late, I'm late for an important date!'," she mocks, and Phil looks at her with his tongue sticking out.

"Hey, I am late for an important date," Phil says defensively. "I suppose I should've been the white rabbit instead of what I was for Halloween."

"You weren't anything for Halloween!" Abi exclaims, giggling. "You were just dressed in a giraffe onesie. You didn't even add blood or anything - you were just a giraffe."

"You weren't anything either!" Phil retorts.

Abi rolls her eyes and mutters, "Touché."

The sound of the door swinging open startles Phil and Abi. They turn around and face the door, and after what seemed like an eternity, Dan walks into the living room holding Striker's leash. Abi sighs in relief.

"Jesus, Dan, knock," she breathes out. Phil nods frantically.

"She's right! You could've been a burglar or something," he adds. Dan rolls his eyes, kneeling down and taking Striker's leash off, followed by his harness. When he's done, Striker walks to the kitchen for a drink, and Dan stands up.

"Hey, this is my house too," Dan replies. "I have a key, so I don't see why I can't use it."

"We barely heard you open the door with your key," Phil says quietly. "How were we supposed to know who it was? It could've been -"

Phil stops, and Abi wordlessly sighs.

"So…," Dan stretches the word to break the silence, taking off his coat and saying, "I heard Phil was becoming the white rabbit?"

Phil shakes his head in disbelief, chuckling as he goes to the mirror and adjusts his fringe. Abi nods.

"Yeah, he's late for his important date with 'the queen of hearts'," she says. Dan glares at Phil.

"You didn't tell me you had a date with Rosalina!" he exclaims.

"Now that I think about it, Phil didn't tell me until this morning when he asked me what he should wear today," Abi says, looking at Phil accusingly.

"I don't know why you chose glasses over contacts anyway," Phil says, trying to steer away from the subject. Dan wasn't having any of it, giving him a sassy hand-on-the-hip pose. Phil's cheeks go red.

"Of course I didn't tell you guys," Phil mumbles, embarrassed. "You call her the 'queen of hearts' after all - that alone should be a clue."

"She is pretty demanding," Dan comments, and Phil shoots daggers at home. He immediately goes to the kitchen to check on Striker, coughing to cover his giggles.

Abi faces Phil and says, "Ignore him. What he is trying to say is that he is happy for your newfound relationship."

Phil goes red. "Thanks, Abi. It means a lot. To be honest, it's weird being in this position - I'm nearly thirty and this is my first proper date in nearly two decades."

"Live a little, Lester," Dan calls out from the kitchen, "and spare your youth!"

Phil nearly scoffs aloud, and Abi shakes her head.

"Ignore him!" Abi says again, this time shooting a glance at Dan, who innocently whistles and refills Striker's bowl with more food. Phil's hand twitches nervously - a habit that Abi has noticed lately with the Brit. He sighs.

"This is my first actual date with Rosa," he mutters. "What if she decides that I'm not the right one for her? I mean, did you see the new baking video? She probably did! She probably thinks I'm gay for Dan."

"You say that like it's a bad thing!" Dan comments, and Abi hushes him.

"Sweetie, everyone thinks your gay for Dan," Abi replies, and Phil nods in defeat. "It's just up to you to show her that you are a proud hetreosexual ready to pounce on any opprutunity that love throws your way."

"You make me sound like a love-crazed lion," he deadpans. Dan snickers from the kitchen.

"Shut up, Dan!" the two yell, and Dan just raises his hands in defense, joining them into the kitchen as Striker finished up his meal.

"Hey, you'll be fine, P-Lizzle," Dan says, patting his back. Phil groans.

"If 'P-Lizzle' is anything to go by, I am pretty much screwed."

"Now don't say that!" Abi says. "You are funny, sweet, caring, and pretty much everything a girl would ever want."

"Yeah," Phil scoffs, "pretty much everything a twelve-year old would want."

"Don't think about the phandom, Phil," Dan says seriously. "She's not dating AmazingPhil; she's dating Phil Lester. When I met Phil Lester, I was blown away - one of them sang a male-version of 'Toxic' for the lol's, and one of them would talk through my existential crisis away. Even if you are amazing, that isn't what she's going to judge you are. You just do...you."

Abi and Phil are stunned into silence - even Striker, who walks into the living room, looks up in some sort of starstruck awe.

"What?" Dan squeaks.

Phil clears his throat and finally replies, "Well...you just gave me a lot of good advice for someone who called me 'P-Lizzle' a few minutes ago."

Dan sticks out his tongue, and the doorbell rings. Abi pats Phil's back.

"Time to see the 'queen of hearts', Philly," Abi says with a proud of smile. Phil bites back a smile.

"What are you guys going to do?"

Abi shrugs and says, "I'm probably going to help Dan edit the 'DAPGOOSE Q&A' so he can post it soon, and probably watch a movie."

"That sounds good," Dan says with a smile, pushing Phil towards the door. "Good luck, Phil!"

"Wait -"

Without waiting for him to reply, Dan opens the door to see Rosa, leaning on the doorframe with a skinny black dress. Phil gulps.

"Hey, Phil," she purrs. Phil tugs his collar and pushes his glasses up.

"Hi," he stutters, and Abi pushes him out the door and the last thing they see is Phil's nervous smile before they close the door.

"Do you think we were a bit too...much with him?" Dan asks as he locks the door. Abi stares outside the door and watches Phil walk Rosa to her car, saying something that made her laugh. They disappear into the car.

"I think we were just fine," Abi replies with a small smile.

* * *

They finish editing the Q&A after lunch, and Abi giggles at the many stories that Dan and Phil told at the event. Even if she was backstage at the event, it was still as funny as it was during the live event.

"I'm glad you decided to film the Q&A," Abi says as she brings a bowl of microwave popcorn into the lounge. "At least you don't have to make your poor fans pay again."

Dan puts a hand to his heart, mocking his hurt feelings and replying, "To my defense, we have to make money somehow! We are paying for three people and a dog under this roof."

Abi rolls her eyes as she watches Dan flip through the movies on Netflix. She sits beside him on the couch, putting the bowl of popcorn in the middle.

"So what do you want to watch?" Dan asks through a handful of popcorn. Abi looks at him, dumbfounded.

"Don't you have more work to do?" she asks. Dan shrugs.

"You aren't going to eat all that popcorn by yourself without a movie, are you?" he retorts, and Abi gives in after that.

"Alright, so put a movie on," she says, and Dan smiles.

"I knew you'd give in to the temptation of procrastination!"

"Only because you are as well," Abi giggles, lightly punching him on the arm. Dan rolls his eyes and continues scrolling through movies. When his eyes read a certain title, his eyes widen.

"Ooh, they added _Zootroplis_!" Dan says, his wide, brown eyes facing Abi's. She raises an eyebrow.

" _Zootroplis_?" she echoes. "Don't you mean _Zootopia_?"

Dan frowns. "It's _Zootroplis_ in England."

"Why?"

"I don't know!" Dan says defensively. "I didn't write the movie."

Abi rolls her eyes and she nods in satisfaction. "Well _Zootroplis_ sounds good, and so does _Zootopia_."

"Awesome," Dan exclaims, and he clicks the movie. It loads, and Abi smiles at the nerdy Brit munching on popcorn beside her.

The opening scene starts promptly, and Abi decides to curl onto the couch beside Dan. Before she lies down on Dan's crossed legs, she looks at his eyes that were fixed on the screen and were oblivious to what was happening - just to be safe, she puts a pillow between his leg and her head.

Dan, however, is very much aware of what was happening - Abi is lying down on his leg with a pillow between her head and his lap. He did his best to make sure he didn't seem to notice, but he could feel his heart race.

 _'What should I do?'_ he thinks wearily. _'Should I make a move? Is she telling me I should? God, I bet Phil knows what to do…'_

Dan doesn't do anything for a good hour into the movie; he can't seem to make any moves to advance the situation at hand. They're laughing, they're telling each other funny comments on the movie, but they can't seem to do anything other than act like a platonic duo - he could almost feel the frustration that his fans had when they watch any video with him and Phil.

On the other hand, Abi is desperately waiting for something - anything - that would progress their relationship at every moment.

She he watches Dan's face scrunch up in concentration, muttering his theories on the movie's ending - something to do with a crack conspiracy he saw on Game Theory that she would never understand - and nearly melts.

 _'You don't have to wait for him,'_ her mind reminds her. _'You can do something. Anything. Why cuddle against him or something. You already had the guts to kiss him three times in the past three months or so. The least you can do now is cuddle or something.'_

Abi pulls the pillow from underneath her and lets her head rest on Dan's lap. She dares to look up and watches his eyes suddenly widen, barely glancing at her. She smirks.

"Enjoying the movie?" she asks slyly. Dan tugs his the neckline of his sweater, feeling hot - especially from his "problem" that was beginning to grow.

 _'Grandma, grandma, grandma, grandma,'_ he thought frantically in his mind, adjusting himself uncomfortably and biting back a moan.

"Er, yeah." His voice was high and squeaky - she got to him, she knows it.

Dan is quick to cover up. "As I said, MatPat said something about _Zootopia_ \- or _Zootroplis_ , or whatever - about it having to do with cocaine or something."

Abi bites back her disappointment. "I mean, I do feel a _Breaking Bad_ vibe about this show - we got past the sheep-making-drugs right?"

"I think," Dan says sheepishly, "I'm not paying much attention."

The words nearly make Abi choke on the popcorn in her throat. She swallows it loudly, along with her guilt - she should've not done anything.

She stares at the empty popcorn bowl in front of Dan and whispers, "Can you refill it?"

Dan nods, not asking what 'it' was, and picks it up. He makes a beeline to the kitchen, and Abi sits upright on the couch, her eyes glued to the TV screen. She doesn't act fazed when Striker hops onto the couch and sits beside her in the same place Dan was.

"Oh, Striker," she whispers quietly. "You're lucky you never have to deal with human emotions."

A strange thought of _'but what if they do…?'_ passes her mind when she sees his wide-eyes stare at her, and she just shakes her head.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Dan is microwaving another bowl of popcorn, his mind frantically racing with anything to say.

"Make a move, dammit," he mutters to himself as he adjusts the time on the microwave. "You can just talk to her and that could go somewhere. Usually works anything…"

"You said something?" Abi calls from the living room, and Dan remembers that the open-living situation that their bottom floor had wasn't convenient for hiding his 'talking-to-myself' habit.

"Uh, no!" Dan squeaks. "Just talking to myself."

"What else is new?" Abi laughs, and Dan forces himself to do so as well.

Finally, when he realizes he has no other choices he could think of, he pulls out his phone and prays to God that Phil wasn't sucking face with Rosalina at that exact moment.

"I'm going to the bathroom!" he squeaks. "Get the popcorn, will ya?"

He leaves before Abi can respond. Dan races to the bathroom and locks the door, leaning on it and quietly letting himself moan a bit. He dials Phil in panic, and the phone ring three times before Phil finally answers.

 _"Hello?"_ a voice says in his ear. Dan lets a mini-sigh of relief escape and he takes a sneak peek at Abi in the living room, smiling at the movie.

"Phil, I'm sorry to disrupt your date, but I am kind of freaking out," Dan says, beginning his rant. "See, I'm a bit frustrated because -"

_"Dan, if this is about Muse's cover of 'New Kind Of Kick', can you just give it up? It was a frickin' joke, and Matt Bellamy will never dress up like that again, so give up the hope of him getting Elvis hair."_

Dan frowns. "Er, that wasn't what I was talking about. I don't know how you got that conclusion."

_"Really? Because that's all you've been talking about for the last week since it came out -"_

"It's about Abi, okay?" Dan cuts him off, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. "We're watching Zootroplis right now -"

_"What's Zootroplis? Do you mean Zootopia?"_

"Not the point, Phil," he hisses. "We're watching a movie right now, and she was lying down on a pillow that was also on my lap, but then an hour into the movie, she moves the pillow and her head hits my lap."

"Wow, Dan, what a story," Phil deadpans. Dan's cheeks are flushed.

"Phil, it…," He pauses, and lowers his voice to a whisper when he says, "it turned me on."

Dan could almost imagine Phil's eyes widening.

_"Dan...you got turned on by a missing pillow?"_

Dan groans over Phil's giggles. "No, no! Don't say that out loud! You're in a fancy restaurant for God's sake, do you want me to die of embarrassment?"

_"I'm in the bathroom, geez. Rosa saw someone here she works with at the pizzeria and she's talking to them, so I'm taking this call in the toilet stalls. Where are you?"_

"I'm in the bathroom, and half of that info was not necessary," he mutters. "I don't know what to do, Phil."

_"Since when do we help each other with erections?"_

"Since we got a girl in the house, I assume?!" he exclaims, before quieting himself down.

_"Come on, this can't be the first time this has happened with Abi."_

"...of course it's the first time." That was a lie, but he would never admit that to Phil, let alone over the phone. "Look, can you just tell me what to do? The sexual tension is so thick you can cut it with a damn knife."

_"For starters, you can try to solve your little 'problem' downstairs, if you catch my drift."_

Dan dares to look down and he gulps, trying not to make any noise - especially in front of Phil.

"Not funny, Phil," he mutters, before taking a deep breath, nearly shuddering.

Suddenly, he hears three knocks on the bathroom doors. His eyes widen.

"Dan?"

"It's Abi!" he hisses quietly through the phone.

 _"Uh, say something!"_ Phil replies.

"I-It's Ed!" he blurts out. "I'm talking to Ed right now, I'll be out in a second."

"Um...alright," Abi answers after some hesitation. "Tell him I say hi!"

"Abi says hi, Ed," Dan says quickly, and he leans against the door - he could hear her footsteps grow farther and farther away. He leans on the door and takes a breath.

 _"Is she gone?"_ Phil whispers. Dan sighs.

"Yes, Phil, she's gone," he says, "and I think this little incident fixed my problem."

Phil laughs, much to Dan's frustration.

"What should I do, Phil?" Dan whines. "I can't take this anymore, and it's not only because of...what happened."

_"Just tell her, Dan. Cut the crap."_

"Harder than it sounds, Phil. She wants to wait, I don't want to rush her."

_"She kissed you, like, three times in the last three months. I don't think she wants to wait anymore."_

Dan stays quiet. Phil sighs.

_"Look, Dan, I have to go. Rosa is probably wondering where I'm at."_

Dan sighs. "Okay. Thank you."

 _"Anytime, Dan,"_ Phil says. He hesitates, and adds, _"Just consider it, okay? You guys deserve each other more than anything...you guys shouldn't have to wait anymore if you really care about each other._

Before Dan can say anything, he is met with a dial tone.

* * *

 *****  
** "Where'd you disappear off to?" Rosa asks when Phil comes back from the washroom and seats himself back at their table. "Lisa really wanted to meet you."

"Dan called. He needed something for…the 'DAPGOOSE Q&A' video. Just some questions on a certain part." Phil says vaguely.

"Editing tips?" Rosa giggles. Phil forces out a laugh.

"Yup. You know Dan and his editing tips - he has needed them since '09."

"You guys have an interesting relationship, actually," Rosa says slyly, leaning forwards across the table, her elbows rested at each side of her plate. "I can understand why people ship you two together."

Phil rubs the back of his neck with a blush. "Uh, i-it's not like that."

"Hey, I'm not one to judge," Rosa says before laughing, and Phil just assumes her words were a joke.

"Tell me, Phil - does Dan have a girlfriend?" she asks after a while. "I mean, Abi seems pretty close to him and they have kissed a few times."

"How do you know it was more than once?" Phil says with a smirk, steering away from the question, feeling oddly uncomfortable. "You only saw at the TATINOF movie premieres - how do you know they kissed more than once."

Rosa returns a smug smile and replies, "Now I do."

Phil can't help but laugh once more, the uncomfortable feeling he once had suddenly disappearing.

"No, Dan and Abi aren't dating," Phil finally answers, "not yet. I kind of play the 'shipper' on this one - they'll probably get married in the future. Hopefully I can be the best man and stuff a lion into Dan's pocket or something."

Rosa's smile nearly falls. "You're a dork."

Phil grins and replies, "You certainly like dating dorks."

Rosa falls silent. Phil sees the softened expression on her face, and his eyes widen, his mind racing anxiously.

"Did I say something wrong?" Phil stutters. "I-I didn't mean to, I swear. I just -"

"No, no," Rosa says, raising her hands as if she was wiping his worries away. "I'm just surprised. I didn't know we were dating, as I am not sure if you return the same love I have for you that burns in my heart."

Now Phil falls silent, and orders another glass of wine as the server walks by.

"I hope you didn't mind me saying that," Rosa says, and she smiles.

Phil shakes his head wordlessly, and downs the whole glass when it comes to him in one gulp.

* * *

His eyes shoot open to his ceiling.

Phil blinks, trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes when he realizes his whole world was blurry. He groans at the sudden pain in his head, flipping over to get his glasses on the bedside table.

When he adjusts his eyes behind his lenses, _[s]he can see that he's in his room._

His mind is trying to remember what happened the previous night, but his memories were blank.

When he sits up, he becomes fully aware that he's naked, and Rosa's bra was hanging on the edge of his bed.

He tries not to panic, and he can almost remember her moans - he didn't...did he?

His head echoes with the image of her naked, and _she laughs._ Phil visibly shudders at the thought - was something she would definitely do.

They were drunk, now that he can remember. They did something...he didn't want to believe it, but -

Phil nearly chokes on a sob. _She going to leave him_ once she realized that her date was a disaster hey were drunk and his inhibitions were loose; he took advantage of her. Was she even drunk? Was she -

He lets his anxious rambles subside when he notices that there is a letter on his bedside table, along with a glass of water and an Advil.

Phil squints and he realizes that it's in _Rosa's_ handwriting - she always signed _[is]_ _her name_ in big, fancy cursive.

He takes a breath and takes the letter - he'd have to face it eventually.  
*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	26. I'll Be Waiting For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you want me to wash that?"
> 
> "I-I don't know what you're talking about!" Phil stutters. Abi smirks.
> 
> "The glass," Abi states, "I meant the glass."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sprinkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> ***  
> /it's a shame you all forgot me before it got really interesting./  
> ***
> 
> Are you ready for five chapters in a row to me to get back on track? Merry fucking Christmas :')

 

_**Chapter 26: I'll Be Waiting For You** _

***  
"Dear Phil,

It's weird to write letters nowadays — I'm sure that I could've just emailed you. But _I am proud of what I am doing._ This is _something_ I never thought I'd do, but _I_ _should've done_ this _the moment I saw you._

It's weird to say 'I love you' to someone I met not too long ago. _I see_ you as...an enigma. A puzzle waiting to be solved. I'm just trying to say you are something I've never seen before.

It's weird to admit that I am in love with _everything that you do_. I love that cute jumper that you hide from your fans because I gave that to you a while ago and you wanted it to be something only between us (though _I_ secretly _can't wait for_ you to wear it, just to be a sneaky tease). The cute little laugh that you hide behind _your_ hands. It sends _blood_ rushing to my cheeks and the food _covered on my hands_ from when I snorted it out when laughing with you (we're not going to talk about that anymore :P).

(I wonder _what would Dan say_ if he read this _?_ _He_ 'd think you _will_ _fall in love_ _with a crazy person_. Abi would _too, and_ _she will_ think this is all crazy. _)_

It's weird to know that I will always _fall_ for you — in whatever life we may live. _I formally met you months ago_ , _but_ I feel like _I've known you long before you acknowledged my existence._

It's weird to think that _I was always here,_ and so were you. It's like _I'm_ meeting you for the umpeenth time in my lifetime. I never felt this way about anyone before, Phil. People know me as _cold-hearted,_ loud, and a seductress, _but no one has_ _seen the real me_ except for you.

It's weird to say these kind of things. I don't usually say these kind of things, but I do fucking love you, Phil. You've made me feel things, which is something I didn't think anyone could have shown me. I hope that _you will soon know_ _that it's me,_ in front of you, that you will give your love to.

It's weird. We're weird. I _love_ that though.

~ _Rosa_

_P.S - Take the Advil. It might help you ;)"_

* * *

Phil's hands tremble with the paper in his hands. His head was pounding and he didn't know how to comprehend what he just read (mainly because Rosa had a terrible habit of italicizing — or what he thinks is italicizing — her words in pencil for 'emphasis').

' _Maybe you're just lonely,'_ his conscience argues. _'This could just be your need to have someone in your life to get rid of this 'phan' branding.'_

He knows what he's thinking — sure, he loves Dan, but not in that way. Honestly, he thinks it's a little disquieting; people monitor each move that could hint at a relationship that didn't exist in the way they want it to be. He's always considered having someone to prove them wrong, but he knew no one would want to—

No. That's not true. It's just that he wouldn't have time — yes, that's it, he reasons. No one would expect him to have time for a love life, and it's not like he's thought of it for a while.

Phil nearly laughs at his thoughts. _'I'm literally married to my job'_

Technically, it was true — YouTube was the only thing he had. His fan base was always there, Dan was always there, and so was Abi.

But _Rosalina..._ she was the only thing that wasn't already in his life. She was making him happy...surely that meant he could...could he?

Abi and Dan are going to be happy together one day; why couldn't he just let this happen too?

His thoughts were squished into a puddle of nonsense that he couldn't understand. His head was still pounding as well — that Advil wasn't sounding too bad now.

"Phil?" Abi's voice calls from downstairs, and the sound of steps going up the staircase got closer and closer. "Are you up yet? I thought I heard footsteps in here…"

Phil quickly pops the pill in his mouth and grabs the glass of water. He downs it in less than five seconds and takes a small breath. He pushes his glasses up and, in his panic, pulls off al the bed sheets and wraps it around him.

"Wait, I—"

The door opens, and Abi's face is the first thing his wide eyes saw. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she had her brown, thin-framed glasses on. She tilts her head to the side, and Phil can feel his cheeks heat up.

"I...uh...just woke up." His voice was high and squeaky. Abi's eyebrow arches, and she looks behind Phil and tries not to seem fazed at what was hanging on the edge of his wicker-frame bed. She looks at him smugly, and he clenches his teeth in a smile, side stepping to the left in attempts of covering up his embarrassment.

"Do you want me to wash that?"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about!" Phil stutters. Abi smirks.

"The glass," Abi states, "I meant the glass."

Phil's cheeks go red and he holds the glass forward. Abi takes it hesitantly and steps back.

They make nervous eye contact for a while. When Phil has finally had enough, he pulls the bedsheet up to his face to prove his desperation; Abi leaves him alone at last.

* * *

"Abi? Can you come in the kitchen?" Dan asks, and Abi stands up from her place on the couch and pauses her show on the TV.

She faces Striker, who's beside her on the couch, and murmurs, "I'll be right back. His lordship wants me."

Dan chuckles when she walks in, a smirk on her face. He looks up from behind his camera.

"I can hear you from the kitchen you know," Dan says smugly. Abi rolls her eyes and leans over the kitchen island.

"Are you filming a new video?" she asks. Dan looks at the camera, balanced on a tripod on the table, and nods proudly.

"Yup!" he chirps. "Or at least, I hope I am. The idea is kind of crap, but I am trying to think about how it will work without me giving up."

"What's the video on?"

"Things that annoy me," Dan replies, focusing on setting up the angle for the camera. "I could use a little help filming though, as Phil has said he needs to start focusing on some 'secret project'."

Abi frowns. "When did he say that?"

Dan shrugs. "He texted me a few minutes ago."

"He's in his room, you know."

"I know," he answers quickly.

Abi put a hand on her hip in disbelief. "You guys live in the same house and you've resorted to texting each other just so you don't have to get up?"

"You know we're lazy," Dan smirks. "So is that a yes?"

"Sure," Abi says brightly. "I don't have much to do anyway."

"Great!" Dan beams, motioning her to come near the tripod. She follows, and when she's behind it, Dan steps in front of the lense.

"Okay, so the first thing I'm shooting is when people leave all the cabinets open," he states.

"Oh, that pisses me off too," Abi comments when Dan is looking at her for feedback. His smile was so wide that it was beginning to annoy Abi as well.

"You and Phil do it all the time!" he exclaims, and Abi laughs. She goes behind the camera and looks through the lense, before lifting her gaze up to see that Dan has somehow gotten closer to her than before. She fights back the urge to kiss him.

"We're going to start with that cabinet," He points to the left one on the wall, "and I will slam it closed as I walk buy it. I don't think I want the camera following me, as I plan on making it scenes that cut every sentence I say referring to the topic."

Abi nods and Dan continues.

"So it's gonna be me saying 'Like, once will piss me off a bit,' then cut to this scene. Then after that passes, I'll say 'But when it happens again, and again, and again…'. Between every 'again', it'll be more and more cabinets being open, and me getting frustrated every single time going forward, before the last scene when it's me on my knees with my fists in the air and every cabinet being open."

Abi cracks at the thought. "That sounds...complex."

"Hey, humour doesn't just come out of nowhere," Dan retorts, and Abi feels his breath on her lips.

"S-Sounds great," she says, her voice nearly cracking. Dan grins like the Chesire cat itself.

"Awesome," he laughs, and he positions himself. Abi raises her hand and gives him a thumbs-up and he gets himself into character. He walks past the open cabinet and—

"Fuck!" he swears as he walks right into the surface. Abi bursts out into laughter, walking around the counter and closing the cabinet to stand in front of Dan.

"Please tell me you're keeping that for the video!" she giggles. Dan rolls his eyes.

"Only because I need an after-bit," Dan says after some silence, rubbing his nose. "Bloody hell, I didn't know we had cabinets of steel."

"It's better than glass doors," Abi points out, and Dan nods.

"God bless open-space living," he groans, and Abi laughs again.

"How did you even hit that?"

Dan walks back to where he started and says, "Look, it seemed a lot farther away from where I was."

He did the whole thing again successfully. Abi smiles, doing the 'ok' gesture.

"Good quality shit right there," she jokes, as Dan walks back, and Dan rolls his eyes, going over to the camera and watches everything replay in front of him.

He puts a finger under his chin and nods approvingly.

"Three cabinets this time?" Abi asks. "In a row, maybe? Just show that you're drilling through them like an angry mole or something."

"God, you're not the director here," Dan mumbles, but opens all three anyway. Abi smirks.

"That's what I thought," Abi says cockily. Dan gets back at her by stepping right in her face, and their noses barely touched. She gulps

"Action," she whispers, and Dan could feel her lips grazing his. He reels back.

"Of course," he says, and Abi clears her throat and begins recording.

* * *

A few shots later, Dan and Abi are sitting on the high stools at the kitchen island, eating lunch. Dan had a salad in front of him, transferring the footage onto his laptop.

"I like the one where you slammed the laptop closed on 'Hello Internet' in different areas of the house," Abi comments as she watches him work away. "The one where you walked outside and screamed at the laptop playing the video on the roof was pure genius."

"I can't believe I actually went with it," Dan answers happily.

"I can't believe you actually climbed the roof and put your laptop on it without dying," Abi retorts, and Dan punches her arm playfully.

"The angle was brilliant though," Dan comments, "and the one with the comments whether 'phan' is real or not was pretty funny as well. It's a good idea that you supplied."

"I think Thomas Sanders inspired it, actually," Abi says nonchalantly, stabbing her rice softly with a fork. "I've been binge-watching lately."

Dan hums in agreement. "You have no idea. I've been on a YouTube marathon lately."

"How much do you need for the video?" she asks, and Dan opens a new window for his notes.

"Hmm, that's a good question. We've covered all but one, which I was going to film last just to do it unexpectedly. I kind of want one more. What do we have so far?"

"Open cabinets, 'Hello Internet', people talking about things that they don't know of, opinions being shot down by people...and that unexpected one," Abi answers. "Is there anything else on your list?"

Dan looks at his notes and Abi sees Dan's eyes widen for a split second.

"What is it?" she questions suspiciously.

Dan tips his laptop closed slightly, trying to act as if nothing was wrong. Abi frowns and in one swift move, Abi pulls the laptop from Dan, and before he can say anything, she flung it open.

" 'Things that annoy me,' " she recites. " 'cabinets left open, first video, opinions being disregarded' — wait, did you just write 'disregarded'?"

Dan hides his blush behind a fist. "I was feeling regal?"

"Sure," Abi mutters, and continues. " 'People talking shit about things they're wrong about, have a cut scene for just opening a door on Phil and say nothing more' — that's a genius idea, let's do that after lunch — 'and'..."

"What is it?" Dan asks shyly, knowing what it is. Abi gulps.

" 'Hiding things from others' " she says in a quiet voice. "Though it's good to point out that is purposely put in strikeout."

Dan fights back a smile, and goes back to eating his lunch.

They finish, Abi feeds Striker, and Dan prepares to go up and talk to Phil.

"So we're just going to walk in?" Abi asks as she helps equipment up the stairs alongside Dan.

"Yup," he replies, huffing when they reach the top. "It's just gonna be like 'another thing that annoys me is when I see this' and I'll just open the door to Phil, film his reaction, and wordlessly leave. Just for the lol's, I suppose."

"It does sound funny," Abi muses. "Though I have to warn you, he might be a bit uneasy today."

"Why so?" Dan asks as he gets his camera from Abi. She sighs, pushing up her glasses.

"I saw a bra on the headboard of his bed," she says in a hushed voice, pulling him to the side. "I caught him naked this morning as well with a glass in his hand."

"Knowing Phil, he must've took an Advil. The bottle was on the counter when I woke up, though it was sealed" he whispers.

"Perhaps he has his own?" Abi prompts. Dan shrugs

"Do you think he had drunk sex with someone?" Dan asks. "That's the real question."

"Rosa," Abi confirms. "I'm pretty sure he took her home last night. I thought I heard her, but I ignored it. I guess Phil struck lucky."

"I guess we'll have to interrogate him later," Dan chuckles, holding the camera up. "Okay...in one...two...three!"

Abi opens the door and Dan starts recording right away when he lowers the camera in shock.

"Oh my god!" Abi gasps, stumbling into the room in a rush. Dan runs after her, putting the camera on Phil's bedside table and kneeling on the ground beside Phil.

He's face down on the floor, his eyes rolled back. He is mumbling some kind of indecipherable gibberish, but his words were slurred and his glasses were right beside him.

"Phil?" he says hoarsely. "Phil?! Wake up, dammit!"

Phil barely stirs, but he doesn't respond. There's tears in his eyes when Abi lifts his head up, supporting the back of his neck with his hand, and his blue eyes were drowning in darkness. Abi looks at Dan with tears brimming in his eyes.

"Call 999, Dan," she whispers. "We need to bring Phil to a hospital right away."

"What's happening to him?" Dan sobs. Abi shakes her head.

_her neck was covered in red._

"I don't know," she murmurs. "We need to get him help before it gets worse."

* * *

**Reviews are love :)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	27. Suddenly I'm Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So you know..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sprinkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> Yes, the title is a Hamilton reference. No, I am not sorry that I am Hamiltrash.

_**Chapter 27: Suddenly I'm Helpless** _

The paramedics flood into Phil's room, which seemed smaller and tighter to Abi. She feels as if she was going to be sick. Dan watches helplessly as they carried Phil onto a stretcher. Abi instinctively wraps herself around his waist.

"Mr. Howell. Miss Woods," someone says, snapping them out of their daze. He is wearing a beige sweater-vest over a white collar shirt, denim jeans, and black shoes. His blond hair was slicked back with gel, and his green eyes stared back at theirs. He extends his hand forward, and though the skin was tanned, it was cold at contact.

"Hello," Dan says, not taking his eyes off Abi, who was on the verge of tears. He squeezes her shoulder and steps forward, reassuring Abi that he was going to talk. He shakes his hand firmly, trying not to seem fazed at how strong the handshake was. "Thank you so much for coming…?"

The man smiles. "Detective Grants, but you can call me Harrison, or Harry."

"Mr. Grants," Abi whispers, her voice dry and raspy. "Do they know what's wrong with him?"

"Your flatmate?" he asks. Dan nods in response. He pulls out a notepad and a pen, looking up at the two of them.

"They suspect a drug overdose," he announces. "Has…?"

"Phil," Abi supplies. "Philip Lester."

"Right. Has...Phil shown any signs of drug consumption at all in the last...let's say months?"

Dan shakes his head right away. "Not Phil. He would never."

"Now Mr. Howell, we aren't discluding over-the-counter drugs as well. Has he taken a Tylenol, or an Advil, perhaps to cure a headache?"

Something clicks in Abi's head. "He took an Advil this morning for a hangover. I caught him in here with an empty glass — probably water — and Dan said the Advil container was on the kitchen island this morning when he woke up."

He scribbles it all down in his notepad and nods approvingly. "Do you know how new the Advil was? Has it been used before?"

Abi looks at Dan for an answer. He shakes his head. "We just got it last night after I ran some errands. Now that I think of it...it was still sealed. I'm not exactly sure where Phil got the pill…"

Detective Grants nods, scribbling the notes all down. "Was there anyone else here before the incident?"

"None of us," Dan answers, "but we think his girlfriend was here the night before."

This seems to catch his attention. "Did she stay overnight?"

"We believe so," Abi replies honestly. "We think...um...that's why he had the Advil, if you know what I'm talking about."

The detective hums, seemingly amused. "Did his girlfriend leave the glass of water for him, or did Phil get it himself?"

"I think Rosa, his girlfriend, got it," Abi says hesitantly. "Phil didn't go out of his room at all today."

"Where is the glass? You haven't washed it's, have you?"

Abi feels blood rushing to her cheeks. "I have, sorry."

The detective looks disappointed, but tries to hide it. He closes his notepad.

"We'll get to the bottom of this, I assure you," he says at last. "Your flatmate — I mean Phil — will be alright."

"We don't have a car," Dan says bluntly, "can you give us a ride to the hospital?"

Abi places a hand on his shoulder. "Dan, I'm sure Detective Grants has things to do...we can ask Peej, or catch a train, or—"

Detective Grants smiles. "No, of course I will."

He leads them out, and on the way down the stairs, he adds, "It's still Harry by the way."

* * *

Dan isn't sure he likes this... _Harry_.

Throughout his whole conversation with Louise on the subject of her taking care of Striker, the two were talking as if they've known each other for years.

First of all, it turns out they _did_ know each other — Abi finally recognized him as a former classmate in high school. Before becoming a detective, they also worked together in Tesco before Abi strangely "disappeared".

"My apologies about your father," Harry says after Abi explains her story vaguely. They stop at a red light as rain splashing against the window. Abi shakes her head.

"It's over," she replies, almost sadly. "Nothing much we can do now."

Her gaze lingers at his eye level, before going down to a ring on his finger.

"You're married?" She smiles, and Dan perks up. Harry bites his lip.

"Was," he murmurs. "Apologies that you missed the event — you were on the guest list, I swear."

"Was?" she echoes. Harry accelerates when the light turns green.

"Was," he repeats. "I filed a divorce last month."

Abi frowns. "I'm sorry...sometimes it was the best for you and her."

Harry says nothing more, and Dan can feel his heart drop. He sags in the backseat, somewhat defeated.

"You alright, Dan?" Abi turns around in her seat and faces him. "I know you're impatient, but don't worry. We're almost there."

Dan looks at her, helpless. "I'm fine. Everything will be fine."

Abi shares an almost pitiful look before turning back around. Dan listens to Abi and Harry converse the rest of the way.

* * *

They thank Harry when they get out of the car, and quickly head inside to avoid getting wet. Dan tries to forget everything that happened in the car, and in attempts of starting a conversation with Abi, asks the exact opposite of what he wanted to.

"How far do Harry and I go?" Abi echoes what Dan asked much to his dismay as they begin to fill out forms for Phil. "Very far back, now that I think of it. I can't believe I didn't recognize him earlier...he's changed so much."

"Can't blame you," Dan grits out through his teeth. "He doesn't seem very memorable."

Abi, oblivious to Dan's discreet insult, sighs almost too dreamily for Dan's taste.

"He has changed a lot, but he was very memorable," she recalls. "He was very animated...I don't know why I didn't guess he was going to be a part of the police force when he grew up; he is the most loyal, kind-hearted soul I knew. He unknowingly got me through the rough times when I was growing up, and I felt so bad for ignoring his texts and calls when I ran off. He just wanted to help people...I wish I let him help me."

Dan, stunned into silence to even speak, gulps down any words that could make the situation worse.

"He sounds...absolutely wonderful," Dan says instead. "Maybe you guys will be able to catch up when all of this is over."

Abi opens her mouth to speak, but she shakes her head, mentally cutting herself off. She gives Dan a small smile and stands up to give the documents to the woman. Dan follows her eagerly.

"Has Phil...Phil Lester, I mean. Has he been admitted into a room yet? Is there any way that we can see him now?" Dan asks hastily, stepping in front of Abi to face the receptionist. She pushes her glasses up and looks down at the papers Abi signed, then at the computer screen.

"I'm afraid not, Mr…,"

"Dan," he supplies. "Dan Howell."

"Not yet then, Mr. Howell. His records are not yet registered into the system, I'm afraid—"

"It took us nearly twenty minutes to get here," Dan interrupts, his voice rising. He swats Abi's moving hand over his shoulder. "Surely the ambulance got Phil to the hospital in half that time. It took us ten minutes to sign those papers, so he must've been here for more than a half hour!"

"Dan," Abi says warningly, but Dan waves his hands dismissively in her direction.

"No, tell me!" Dan exclaims, suddenly mad. "Phil has to be here by now, and if not, it's your damn job to find out where he is!"

"Mr. Howell, I'm telling you, I don't kn—"

"If I have to get through this damn window to see these fucking records, then I will!"

"Dan!" Abi gasps. The receptionist's eyes widen, and she stands up, as if ready to call security. Dan opens his mouth to speak when another voice silences them.

"Is anyone here for Phil Lester?" a man's voice calls out.

Abi turns around and Dan shares one final glare with the woman, who smoothes her skirt and sits down in her chair once more. Dan shrugs Abi's grasp off his arm and storms towards the doctor.

"We're here for him, where is he?" Dan demands. Abi says nothing more. The doctor looks down at his clipboard and sighs.

"He's been here for thirty minutes now. We've admitted him into a room shortly after a quick examination and filed the info we needed from him into our hospital records."

Dan nearly shoots daggers at the receptionist, who pretends not to notice. Abi pushes Dan back softly and looks at the doctor.

"How is he? What happened to him? Is he okay?" she asks hastily, feeling her anxiety creep through her throat. The doctor lowers the clipboard, as if memorizing his whole monologue.

"He's alright, but he suffered a bit of brain damage," the doctor says gravely. "He was out cold when we examined him, and is, at the moment, in a temporary coma."

Dan's heart nearly drops at the word. "C-Coma?"

He staggers into a nearby chair, sitting down and pushing his hair up.

 _Phil._ The Phil that he fell in love with years ago. The same Phil that cradled him when he was basically dead. The same Phil that helped him overcome his fear of making any attempts to make towards Abi. The same Phil that helped him overcome _all_ his fears with just one smile.

The same Phil that was now close to death right now.

"What caused it, if I can ask?" Abi murmurs, trying not to look at Dan. The doctor sighs.

"According to our tests, he had a base-pill of morphine — he took that first, I mean — before consuming many dissolved drugs such as morphine, rohypnol, and gamma hydroxybutyric acid — you'd know it as GHB, of course. We think that these drugs were dissolved in a liquid and Phil overdosed, causing him to pass out and cause small brain damage."

"Will he be okay?" Dan asks in a small voice. "His whole life is ahead of him...this can't be a bad thing."

The doctor nods. "He'll be fine. He should wake up, but not in a few days, as his body...shut down for a while. The brain damage caused by the overdosage shouldn't be too much of a problem — the worst he'll come out with is a migraine for a few days and some memory loss."

"Can we see him please?" Dan asks hoarsely.

"Now Mr. Howell, be sensible; you know that Philip needs his rest—"

"Sensible?!" Dan echoes angrily. "You're telling me to be _sensible?!_ How dare you—"

"Doctor, let us see him." Abi does her best not to shout. "You have no right to tell us that; we are his family, and we are the ones to see him immediately."

"But Miss—"

"Please," Abi pleads. "Let us in. Phil will understand."

The doctor sigh sigh, pushing his glasses up. "Very well. Though he may be sleeping or out of it, both caused by the overdosage. He is in room 207 on the second floor. Elevators are straight ahead along the right corridor, and—"

"Thank you," Dan grumbles, pushing past the doctor. Abi fakes an apologetic smile and follows Dan to the elevator.

When they're in, Abi leans against the wall as Dan presses the button and watches the doors close.

"Dan," Abi starts off, but Dan waves his hand dismissively

"Are you going to scold me, Abi?" he asks wearily. "I'll have you know, I am not sorry about what I did back there."

"I understand that, but you do know that—"

Dan ignores her. "And to think that they work in a place that is supposed to comfort patients' loved ones — I didn't receive a bloody act of reassurance from that damn receptionist, let alone that fucking doctor."

"Dan!" Abi exclaims, pushing herself off the wall and stepping in front of him. "I understand that we are all under great stress, but you cannot make a scene like that."

Dan's shoulders sag, almost like a child pouting. "But Abi, you have to understand me! I am trying to hold myself together...because...b-because Phil…"

The wall surrounding Dan suddenly breaks, and he lets out a gut-wrenching sob. Abi sighs, shaking her head sadly as she lets him into her arms.

"Don't worry, Dan," she murmurs behind his back. "Phil will be fine. He is strong enough to overcome this...he'll be fine."

"Abi, I know they are starting an investigation and all about this being a 'sabotage' of some sorts," Dan says, stepping out of their embrace, "but you don't think that Phil…"

He trails off, and Abi frowns. "Phil would do what? Dan, what are you thinking?"

Dan looks down, almost ashamed. "You don't think would do all of this on...on _purpose,_ do you?"

Abi gasps loudly, aghast. "Dan!"

"Hear me out, please," Dan says quickly. "I know that it sounds crazy, but...there's a part of me that thinks I've been missing everything. I must have missed a signal he has been trying to send me, and when I thought he was happy, he was just masking some sort of sadness."

Abi sighs. "Dan, that's not true. We know Phil — _you_ know Phil. If there is anything that Phil had to tell us, he would; you know that. Phil would never hide anything from us, he'd—"

"How do you know?!" Dan cries out. "He could've been hurting from us all this time...and we would never know it. Phil...he's something else. He can't express his emotions like we do...I almost never know if he is ever happy behind that damn smile of his."

The elevator doors open after what seems like an eternity. Abi shakes her head and follows Dan out, who is already storming down the hall.

They find Phil's room after five minutes of walking around the floor, but before Dan can open the door, Abi takes his arm first.

"Dan," she whispers, pulling him towards her, "he's alright. They'll find out who did this to Phil, and everything will be okay…okay?"

Dan holds his angry glare, but Abi watches as he releases it seconds later, nodding in defeat.

"Fine," he says. "I suppose he'll be fine."

" _All_ of us will be fine," Abi corrects, rubbing his shoulder. "There's nothing that we can't overcome, am I right?"

Dan looks down sadly. "We should...go inside. You know, check on him and what not."

Abi sighs. "Of course."

Dan opens the door slowly, and they walk across the bed of another sleeping patient, pulling the curtain slightly open and walking into the part of the room Phil was in. Dan bites back his tears.

The first thing that catches Dan's eye is the oxygen mask on Phil's face, which was more pale than usual. It breaks Dan's heart to acknowledge that Phil needed something to help him breathe; something to keep him alive.

He feels Abi's hand on his shoulder, and he turns his head to face her.

"D-Dan, whatever you're thinking of, stop thinking about it," she whispers, her voice cracking from the sudden sob that escapes her lips. Dan nods, and he walks towards the bed slowly.

"He looks so...still," Dan acknowledges quietly.

"It is crazy that he is so still when he is sleeping," Abi jokes without a smile, but it falls flat with Dan, who would usually be the one to say it.

"I know that, but it's different. When he falls asleep during a movie, he looks like he's at peace. This time...he looks like he is thinking about something. Like he's...hurting."

Abi winces at the last word. "He's fine. Maybe he just needs to see — I mean hear — us or something; knowing Phil, he would probably want to know that we are okay."

"You're right," Dan smiles, "the selfless bastard."

Abi places a hand on Phil's gently. "Phil? It's us, Abi and Dan."

Dan steps up beside Abi and nods. "Yeah, it's us. I hope you remember us and all — if you don't, that's fine, because we can reenact a phanfic somewhere."

"Dan!" Abi hisses quietly, nudging him with a small smile. "You don't want Phil to think about that, would you?"

"Hey, we don't even know if he can hear us," Dan points out, trying to keep the bitterness out of the sentence. Abi shrugs.

"They say hearing is the last thing that goes away when someone is unconscious. Besides, people in comas can hear what's happening...right?"

Dan hums, "I suppose."

Abi looks down at Phil. "I hope you are okay, Phil. It'd be cool if you did the thing where I ask you if you can hear us, then you squeeze my hand or something. I feel like that would be a big cliché, if you know what I am talking about—"

Suddenly, Abi feels a small amount of pressure on her hand. Dan's eyes widen and Abi looks down.

Phil is squeezing her hand, and Abi's words fade away. She instinctively reels back, nearly letting go, and feels his grasp loosen on her wrist.

"You're a cliché, Phil," Dan says quietly, smiling "Hope that cliché involves you waking up."

* * *

A week later, Dan and Abi are sitting in their lounge, watching a TV show in silence.

Phil was still in a coma, but they have been visiting him daily. They informed Phil's parents, who came shortly after in tears. They were staying in a hotel nearby, and came every second Dan and Abi weren't able to.

The fans were in the dark about what happened, knowing nothing other than the fact that "Phil was a bit sick" and it was "nothing to worry about, nor anything to try speculate about". Dan never liked the idea about lying to their fans, but Abi explained gently that everyone in the world had no right to their personal life.

Their close friends, however, were always there for them. Louise, who had taken care of Striker when they went to the hospital, was in tears when she found out, but promised to do whatever she could to help. They let Striker stay at PJ's flat so that he would stay away from the stress while being taken care of.

Aside from tweeting about the small hiatus they were taking, Dan hasn't went on any social media during the time Phil was in the hospital. He posted the new video that Abi helped him film, and no one dared to question that some parts showed him looking sad and tired, which of course was filmed after the incident. To those who asked, Dan ignored it.

Now that he thought of it, he was ignoring a lot of things lately. He's been avoiding questions from the public, ignoring the endless conversations Abi has had on the phone with Harry — despite reuniting a week ago, they have been too close for Dan's liking — and the continuous texts that he got from the infamous 'endtheroomie' about "something happening very soon", which he hid from Abi for the time being; they didn't need anymore. He ignored the jealous flame in him whenever Abi talked animatedly about Harry, and acted all love-struck when she talked about Harry, and whenever the image of _Harry_ popped up in his mind, and Ha—

"Dan?" Abi's voice snaps him out of his thoughts. "Would you get me a glass of water from the kitchen?"

Dan blinks. "Of course."

He stands up and walks towards the kitchen, and Abi sighs, watching him walk away.

' _He's been like that all week,'_ she thinks wearily. _'There has to be something that would make him feel better...I wish I could make him feel better.'_

Her cellphone rings beside her, and she picks it up.

"Hey, you have Abi," she mumbles boredly, her voice monotonous.

" _Hello, is this Abigail Woods? This is the Queen Elizabeth II Hospital—"_

Abi's eyes widen, standing up. "Yes, this is Abigail. Are you calling about Phil Lester? He was admitted last week, and—"

She stops ranting when she feels arms going around her waist, and when she turns around, she realizes that Dan is hugging her from behind. His eyes look calm, and he mouths, "Relax."

She puts the phone on speaker. "What is it do you need, m'am?"

" _We're calling to tell you that Phil Lester has woken up. If you can come to the hospital as soon as you can, that would be great."_

"O-Of course," Abi stammers, motioning for Dan to get ready. "We'll be there in twenty minutes."

* * *

"Anyone here for Phil Lester?" the doctor asks from the entrance of the waiting room. Abi and Dan stand at the same time, making a mad dash towards the doctor.

"Yes, we are here for him," Abi says, and Dan mutters quietly "You'd think he'd know us by now", to which Abi just rolls her eyes.

"We finished our tests," the doctor says. "As predicted, he has a bit of brain damage, but it was nothing we couldn't fix up. He has a bit of consciousness, but it's enough for you to see him. We knocked him out through most of our procedures to avoid the risk of making the damage worse, so he might be a little out of it."

"What should we do when we see him?" Dan asks. "Should we pester him about what happened, or what he remembers, or…?"

The doctor shakes his head. "You may ask him if he remembers, but it's best not to tell him anything too important, or tell him of what happened if he does forget. Chances are is that he won't be able to comprehend most of what you're saying, so it's best that you take it slow."

"Of course," Abi promises, shaking his hand. "Thank you so much."

For the first time in a long time, Dan tells Abi to use the stairs.

"I hate you," Abi says halfway through, out of breath. "Two steep floors that are very far from each other and you want us to take the stairs?!"

Dan smirks, though it was very clear he was tired. "I didn't want to wait anymore."

Abi's phone rings from her pocket, and she pulls it out as they speed up the stairs. A smile appears on her face when she reads what's on the screen, and Dan bites back a groan.

"Harry?" he prompts, and Abi faces him, nodding.

"Yeah, I texted him in the taxi," she admits. "He said he will be here as soon as he gets out of work. He said he might ask a few questions, but he will mainly be there for moral support."

"Harry definitely sped into your life, huh?" Dan says sarcastically, but the tone of his voice was bitter. Abi cluelessly ignores it.

"Even if we've spent years apart, I feel like I've seen him everyday of my life," she gushes. "I know it's been a week, but I feel like we're really hitting it off."

"Hitting it off?" Dan echoes as they reach the top of the stairs. Abi opens the door to the second floor and Dan trails behind her.

"I think so," Abi says with a small smile. "Maybe when all of this over, I'll take him out for a coffee or something."

"Coffee," he repeats dryly. "I didn't know our whole life has turned into a phanfiction."

"Shut up," Abi giggles, punching him softly. "It's about time I start getting my love life jumpstarted — it's nice to finally move in something rather than wait for it."

Dan grits his teeth. "Maybe waiting is something good."

Abi stops at the door of Phil's room and faces Dan, a sudden sadness evident in her eyes.

"For some people, I guess," she answers quietly, and that's the end of the conversation.

They walk into the room and practically run towards Phil's hospital bed. When they get inside, the first thing they see is Phil's bright eyes.

Though they are a bit duller than before, there was still the bright spark of life that they all recognized. There were bags under his eyes, and his hair was messier than ever, but _he was there,_ awake.

"P-Phil," Dan stutters, running towards Phil and giving him a big hug. "Oh my goodness, Phil, you're awake. They weren't lying, you're really awake."

"We're really glad to see your eyes," Abi says, going on the opposite side of the bed. "I remember when I was in a bed like this, and you wanted to see my eyes again. Now I know how it feels."

Phil looks at Dan and Abi strangely, and cracks out a small smile. "Dan...Abi?"

"Yes, Phil, it's us," Dan sniffles. "I don't know why I'm so emotional though."

Phil opens his mouth, dryly laughing. "I...I think that's something called 'emotions', Dan."

His voice was a bit high and squeaky, and Abi realized that Phil was still under all those drugs. She rubs the loose strands of hair off his forehead.

"Are you okay, Phil?" she asks.

Phil shrugs. "I'm a bit woozy, t-b-h."

Dan smiles. "I wish I can film this right now. You would never use an abbreviation in real life, and I can't wait to prove you wrong."

"Phil," Abi says slowly, "do you remember anything that happened to you the night you got knocked out?"

"Knocked out?" Phil echoes. "Knocked out of what?"

Dan chuckles. "No, Phil, what Abi is asking is if you remember anything at all...doesn't matter what. Can you tell me the last thing you remember?"

Phil blushes, pulling a blanket to cover half his face. "I...it's embarrassing...you wouldn't want to hear anything of that stuff."

"We know about you and Rosa," Abi says with a small smile. "Is that all you remember?"

Phil frowns. "Am I supposed to remember anything else?"

Suddenly, he winces visibly, softly groaning at the sudden pain in his head. Dan leans forward anxiously, hovering over the edge of the bed.

"Are you okay?" he asks. "Do you want us to call you a nurse or something?"

"S'fine," he slurs. "I...just have a headache."

Abi looks at the clock on the wall. "We can let you rest for a while. Rosa texted me on the way here — she wants to see you."

"Has she visited since I got here?" Phil asks eagerly, his eyes widening like a small puppy. Dan shook his head.

"We told her what happened after Detective Grants questioned her—"

"Questioned?" he cuts him off. "Why was she being questioned? She didn't do anything wrong."

"It's just a regular policy because she stayed with you for the night, remember?" Abi says gently, calming him down. "We know she did nothing wrong."

Suddenly, Phil doesn't know if he believes what he was saying anymore.

"I want to rest," he states bluntly. Dan nods.

"Of course," He awkwardly pats Phil's shoulder, "get some rest, buddy. We'll be right back when you wake up."

Phil nods, and lets sleep consume him. His vision darkens, but suddenly he is—

_in his room. Why was he in his room? He was in the hospital, no? This must be some lucid dream or hallucination, because—_

" _Mm, Phil, yes," a delirious voice floated around him. He turns around at the noise and realizes that he was facing his bed, and a very naked Rosalina._

_Was he cringing? He can feel himself cringe. It's like he was standing off scene, watching everything unfold — he knew what was happening, but he was a ghost to the action._

_He heard himself groan, and that was it. He must've hit an orgasm or something, because that was it. He watches himself — past Phil? This was a memory he didn't recognize — walk past him into the washroom, a slight limp in his walk. He stumbles into the washroom, and he turns around to see Rosalina get out of bed and walk towards the bedside table._

' _What is she doing?' he thinks._

_Suddenly, she slips on black gloves and pulls something out of her pocket._

" _N-No…" Did he say that? He felt like he said that._

_Everything was speeding around him, and Rosalina was smiling, laughing at what she was doing. He could hear her thoughts in a silky voiced._

" _ **An Advil became solidified morphine, and water became dissolved drugs, and a letter became a story, and rusty hearts became red—"**_

Phil wakes up in a break of sweat — that was a strange nightmare he had.

Nightmare. Was it a nightmare? His head was trying to rationalize everything he witnessed before they could erase from his memory. It must've been a nightmare because nothing made sense. Why would Rosalina drug him? Was she drugging him? His mind was racing with too many question, too many thoughts that didn't make sense, too many—

"Am I interrupting something?"

And when Phil looks up, he sees the cherry-red lips and a necklace with a heart-shaped charm. It must've been bronze when it was newer, but _now_ , with age, it was a rusty—

"Red," he whispers, and it was enough.

…

"Dan, why are you calling at this time? I'm in the middle of a shift."

Dan's phone shakes in his unsteady hand, looking at the number written on the home plate in the photo, which was on every Tumblr post he scrolled by.

"A-Abi, they found us," he stutters, "and now _everyone will_ —"

…

"So you _know_." Rosalina whispers with a smile he would never erase from his memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	28. Second Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2016 is the new 2012, she likes to think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sprinkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?

_**Chapter 28: Second Best** _

"Why are you here," Phil grits out. His head was pounding, but his heart was beating faster. It seemed like the only thing Phil could hear was her breathing.

"I'm here to see my boyfriend," Rosa says sweetly. "You have been out all week and it has made me a complete wreck. I am so glad you're okay, Philly."

"A wreck," Phil murmurs incredulously. "You're a wreck?! You're the one who caused this! You were the one who made this happen, and now I want answers."

"Answers," she echoes. "You want answers? I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about, Phil. Are you sure that the drugs aren't getting to your head?"

"Shut up," Phil growls, "and talk."

Rosa leans on the edge of his bed, her back facing him.

"I've always idolized you and Dan, you know that?" Rosa began. "Ever since '09...you guys were the only people I cared about. Maybe it was normal — I was merely a child. It makes sense that I was obsessed with you two."

Phil barely comprehends what she was saying. "What are you trying to tell me? That it was completely normal to stalk us to a dangerous level? By threatening us and the people we love?"

Rosa's eyes twinkle. "Not yet, of course."

Phil's fist is shaking beneath his blankets. Here, in front of him, was the person who seemingly had them by a leash. To make matters worse, it was someone he thought loved him.

He says nothing.

Rosa pushes herself off the edge of the bed and paces in front of him.

"I moved to London thinking I'd finally get the chance to meet you," Rosa continues. "I met you a few times...at some one-sided meet-and-greets, if you catch my drift."

Her laugh echoes in his ears, and Phil loses his words in his throat. She was watching for years...and they never knew about it.

"Of course, it took a while to find out where you have been," Rosa purrs, walking around the corner of Phil's bed in one swift motion. "I had to invest in quite a lot of phones to keep an eye on you guys...I suppose the payment was worth it."

"You have three phones?" Phil echoes. Rosa glares at him.

"I don't see why you're surprised," Rosa answers, "I had one for you, for Dan, and for a fan account."

She pauses and adds, "I've been quite a hit on my fan account lately, which I suppose _all of you_ will find out later in the story."

She's staring somewhere, but Phil couldn't quite put his finger on it. She was smiling at a particular viewpoint in a way that made him shudder.

Rosa faces him again. "I know you have probably met your fair share in fangirls, Philly, but I want you to know that I am different. I am _aware._ "

"I want you to leave," Phil murmurs, "right now. I want you to walk out of my life and walk away from the people in my life. I don't give two fucks about how 'aware' you are, I just want you to leave."

"What will happen if I leave, Phil?" Rosa asks, leaning forward and lifting his chin. Phil flinches at the cold touch. "If I leave, what will you do?"

"Live a little," Phil mutters sarcastically. Rosa smiles.

"No you won't," Rosa says almost giddily. "You're going to crumble. I am aware of my role in your story, Phil. I am aware that I am about to be one of the most important people in your life because I am spinning your career on my pinkie finger."

"Leave, Rosa," Phil grits out.

"See, Phil, I realized that I was what the phandom calls the evil 'dangirls'," Rosa says, ignoring his words. "I mean, I love you dearly — I suppose that's what kept me with you for so long — but it was always Dan that I've had my eye on, and I know that Dan would probably want something...a bit more, don't you think?"

"Dan would probably want to burn in hell than to even touch you," Phil growls. "Stay away from him. Stay away from _us._ "

Rosa laughs. "Why would I ever do that? If I was going to get Dan, I knew I'd have to pull all the strings that I have. I made it my mission to find out where you guys were at every second...it took a while, but I got the hang of it. It made me particularly happy when I found your house though…"

"What are you talking about?" Phil asks.

Rosa smiles. "Your phone was turned off for a reason, hun."

It started to click in Phil's mind. She found their house, went in their house, _stole his hair,_ probably watched them go into their house, and—

"You didn't," Phil whispers. Rosa smiles.

"I hope you're ready to see your career crumble."

…

"What the hell are we going to do?!" Dan screams when Abi rushes through the front door. "The whole world knows where we live. It could be seconds before 'endtheroomie' becomes, I don't fucking know, an angry mob of people who want to end-the-fucking-roomie!"

"Dan, calm down," Abi says slowly, but her voice is drowned down by Dan's pacing.

"There is literally nothing we can do," Dan continues. "Everyone knows where our house is. I've already seen people walking past our window, _peering in."_

"Dan, you're exaggerating, you—"

"These are people we don't know, Abi!" Dan snaps. "I was fine with walking the city everyday, having people stare at me because they knew who I was, but now I don't ever want to leave the house."

"You never leave the house," Abi whispers quietly, much to Dan's dismay, who fights the urge to throw a pillow at her.

"Abi that's on the internet forever," Dan says hoarsely. "Even if it was deleted, it's been screenshot thousands of times. Our address is on the biggest social media platform of all time, even more. It's on Tumblr, it's on Twitter; heck, I think it's on Facebook—"

"Can you please just keep still, Dan?" Abi interrupts him. He stops mid-way through his twentieth pace back towards the couch. "Jesus Christ, walking like that might make my brain melt."

"We have to leave, Abi, we can't stay here," Dan says anxiously. "We need to go...move out of England; I heard America was okay, or even fucking Russia—"

"Dan, we are not moving to another country because of one fucking stalker," Abi snaps. "There is no way that you are going to let this drag you down, we can find some other way!"

"Other way?!" Dan yells angrily. "Abi, this isn't a matter of our fanbase, or our fans, or our brand, or anything! This is a matter of our privacy — a privacy that we fought to keep for a long time. I am not letting myself make the same mistakes as we did before, we can't find some other way!"

Abi rubs the bridge of her nose. "Thank fuck that Striker isn't here."

Dan shakes his head, collapsing on the couch. "What are we going to do? We can't just ask this person to delete it — many other people have it."

"Do you know who this person is?" Abi asks. "Who was the source of the photo?"

Dan shakes his head. "No one knows, but it's obviously our dearest stalker. Besides, the original user has been taken down, so there is no way in finding who or where this person is."

Abi presses her thumbs together nervously. "Do you want to speak out on it? You have every right to do so, you know."

Dan squeezes his eyes shut. "I don't know if I want to. I'm going to eventually, but I can't speak out now. With doing so, I'm afraid that if I don't speak up now, I won't be able to."

"Dan, that's not true." Abi sits beside him. Dan sighs.

"Abi, it's not like things have been going well to begin with," Dan whispers. "After this was posted, everything went to hell. People were calling, my Twitter exploded, and I think we broke Tumblr multiple times."

"You guys usually do," Abi says quietly.

"This isn't something to fuck with, Abi," Dan growls. "Our address is there, and I know that people will be kicking this door down."

"Dan, you are underestimating your fan-base," Abi says rationally, looking at him. "I know there are already dozens of people by your side who are telling people to get the hell out of our lives. There are people who are already reporting people and taking them down and spreading the word—"

"Oh my god, Abi," Dan cuts her off. "Abi, this is 2012."

Abi blinks. "Pardon?"

"Everything that has been happening," He runs a hand through his hair in frustration, "this is 2012 all over again. Except...oh god, it's ten times worse, because _now_ the whole world is falling on top of us and we can't stop it this time."

"You got through 2012, you can make it through this bump as well." Abi does her best to sound hopeful, but when she looks at Dan's tears, she realizes that they're helpless, and nothing was going to change that.

…

"You're not getting any closer to Dan than you would've to begin with," Phil grits out, trying his best not to cry. "Do you know what you've done?! You probably just ruined him. You can't do this, Rosa, he was broken enough after—"

He breaks off and loses the words. Rosa flicks her finger carelessly, popping her fucking bubblegum again.

"I know what I caused, Phil; it's what they call a relapse," she says as if it was nothing. "And just like last time, you will be the one to cause your downfall."

"You don't know anything about that," Phil says lowly, but deep down he knows otherwise. Rosa shakes her head with a sick smile.

"I realized on our date that there are two things that need to go if I am to get Daniel to myself," Rosa says animatedly, "and Abi will be easy because I know she is just as broken as I am."

"Leave her out of this," Phil nearly screams. "If you touch Abi, I swear to God, I am going to...just going to…"

"Speechless? I figured as much." Rosa's laugh kept echoing in his ears, and he didn't even think she was laughing.

"Since Abi is a target to be eliminated afterwards, I figured that I should just get you first. Of course, I didn't want to kill you — I wouldn't want a broken shell of a man in my arms. I just needed to break you guys to a point where you weren't coming up with each other."

"You aren't getting anything out of this, you know," Phil growls.

"Like every villain, I suppose," Rosa says, her accent ringing in his ears.

"You're a fucking sociopath or something. You have no conscience whatsoever, and the little bit that you have left is fucking crazy!"

"Now, Phil, don't be like that," Rosa slurs. "You were the only thing in my way, Phil. I'll admit it was fun at first, but we both know that it could never happen."

Phil's fist was shaking under the sheets. "When I get out of here, you aren't going to be in my life ever again. This is over."

"No, Phil, this will never be over until I get what I want," Rosa says with a sudden anger. "If I wanted Dan, I would have to get rid of Roomie. If I wanted Dan, I would have to get rid of you — Phan is bullshit anyway, because who the hell would want to love you?"

Phil nearly stops breathing, and if his life was a dead end, the flatline would be the only thing that could be heard in the room.

"You're second best, Phil Lester," Rosa says, backing out of the room. "You may have came first, but you're always going to come last."

And she walks out of the room at the same time Dan and Abi walk in.

He tries to block out their murmured greetings; tries to block out the thought of Rosa touching _him_ and staring at _her,_ and—

"Phil? Are you feeling any better?" That was Dan. He couldn't see him through the blurs created by tears.

"Phil, are you crying?" _Abi,_ fucking Abi.

He breaks down right there, and the only thing he could feel is their hands and their tears too.

* * *

" _Things have been crazy, has it?"_

Abi forces a dry laugh, her breath forming clouds in the cold, dark sky. "It has been. I mean, I don't know why it seems so...funny."

" _Abigail, you know I don't mean it that way. I promise you that we'll find out what's happening. It'll be over soon, I swear."_

"I really appreciate our talks nowadays, Harry," Abi admits, leaning on the concrete flower pot outside the hospital. "It makes things a lot more tolerable, and I really loved catching up with you."

She pauses and adds, "Don't make promises you can't keep."

" _Is Dan there? Do you want me to get you guys some coffee or something?"_

"He's with Phil; I think they're both sleeping. We might be staying overnight, so don't bother coming all this way for us—"

" _Too late."_

Abi feels someone's breath on her lips, and she realizes that in her daze, Harry was now standing right in front of her. His green eyes drill into hers, and he's holding two cups of coffee.

"Caramel macchiato?" Abi asks, and reaches for it at the same time as Harry holds it out. This results in the cup toppling over, and both of them jumping back before it could spill all over them.

They look at it for a while, and Harry mutters, "How bloody convenient."

Now Abi is laughing — for real this time, she hopes — and she smiles at him.

"I'll give the other one to Dan," she says, and Harry shakes his head.

"No, no, that was my fault — I can run and get another one?"

Abi's lips curve into a small smile. "Or we can both get another one on tomorrow . Better yet, I can finally use that gift card to a steakhouse near Seven Dials."

Silence creeps into the atmosphere. Harry smirks.

"Was that your way of asking me out?"

"That's pretty much it, yes."

"I don't want to have coffee," Harry says, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. He feebly adds, "Or steak."

Abi's smile falls a bit, holding him a bit closer.

"Then it isn't a date," Abi promises, "just two friends hanging out on a Sunday evening"

Harry frowns. "You're making a big mistake."

"Is that a yes?"

A sigh and a smile is all it takes to get Abi smiling again.

"Two _friends_ at a steakhouse," Harry says with a small smile, "sounds fun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	29. The Sexuality Card

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you mean it?" Dan asks shyly. "I want to be there for you always, Phil."
> 
> Phil smiles sadly. "You always come first, Dan."
> 
> (also Abi/Harry and Dan's first date with Striker)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sprinkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> Another disclaimer: I am not asexual, nor am I trying to tell you what asexuality was. Based on what I searched up, asexuality is different for everyone, and I'm not trying to tell you otherwise

 

_**Chapter 29: The Sexuality Card** _

When Phil wakes up, the first thing he sees is Dan on his phone, typing furiously. He smiles and stares back up at the ceiling.

"Good morning," he whispers hoarsely. Dan looks up briefly and Phil could see a smirk behind his phone.

"Good morning," Dan echoes, lowering the phone. "How are you feeling? Should I tell a nurse that you're awake, or—"

"I'm fine," Phil cuts him off. "They'll probably come for me anyway. Just...talk to me, I guess. Did you sleep at all?"

Dan blushes. "I woke up ten minutes ago. You've been out since last night; it's Sunday."

"Did you stay overnight?" Phil asks incredulously.

"Of course I did," Dan answers right away. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really," Phil lies. "Where is Abi? Did she come with you too?"

Dan's smile falters. "She's at home by now. Probably getting ready for her big date with Harry...she might drop by before she leaves."

"Date? With Harry?" Phil questions. "Is he the police guy who was also her friend in high school? I think she mentioned him once, but I didn't think it was so...serious."

Dan huffs. "Me neither. They've been talking on the phone for a week and they already seem like they've known each other for years."

"Do I see a jealous Dan?" Phil teases. Dan's cheeks go red.

"Of course not," Dan mumbles defensively. "She's allowed to date anyone she wants to. It's not fair of her to wait for something that might never happen."

Phil sighs. "Dan, you know that's not true."

"It is true! I'm not jealous."

"You know that's not what I meant."

Dan sighs. "Of course I know that it isn't true, but you never know. It's not like things have been particularly great between the two of us."

"What are you on about?" Phil nearly shouts. "You guys were closer than ever when I was gone with Rosa! You literally got hard because of some stupid thing with her. If that isn't pining at its best, I don't know what is."

"...I was hoping you'd forget about that," Dan murmurs; "as if my cheeks can't get any redder."

Dan's phone buzzes again, and Dan briskly ignores it. Phil looks down at the end of the bed, his smile falling.

"Are you going to check that?" he asks quietly. Dan shakes his head.

"Of course not," he replies. Before saying anything else, he hesitantly adds, "Do you...know anything about what's happening, Phil?"

He sighs. "I was hoping it was all just a rumour, but I guess it's not."

Dan nods, pursing his lips together in disappointment.

"Please don't say that it was your fault because it's not," Phil says to break the ice. "This wasn't your fault. We're not...it's not happening again, okay?"

"Okay," Dan murmurs.

Phil takes a breath. "How bad is it?"

Dan shrugs. "I managed to lessen the effect by tweeting out a small message, and as much as I hate to admit it, Harry helped a bit too. They haven't been able to track down the original source because we think they deleted as soon as the photo got viral enough."

"What did you tweet?"

"The usual pleas of desperation, you know," Dan answers sadly. "The regular 'please stop spreading the photo around' and 'please respect our privacy'."

"You didn't go on a four-part-tweet rant?" Phil asks, a bit surprised.

Dan fights back a smile. "That's saved for Tumblr, of course."

Phil leans back, a bit relieved. Dan scoots his chair closer to the edge of the bed.

"I'm kidding, of course," Dan continues quietly, "I wouldn't want to make this more of a big deal than it already is."

"Good plan, I suppose," Phil remarks.

"Are you mad?" Dan asks timidly. Phil shakes his head.

"Of course not," Phil says. "It's nothing that you could control."

The words felt like poison on his tongue. Here he was, knowing all the answers to every question that could be in Dan's mind right now, yet he wasn't saying anything. Was it bad that he wasn't telling the truth? It would come out eventually, wouldn't it? His mind was racing, and—

"Why did you start crying last night?" Dan snaps him out of his thoughts. "I don't know if you remember, but Rosa visited you last night. When she left, you were crying. Did you guys break up or something?"

Phil blinks. "Er, in a way?"

Dan bites back more questions. "Sorry, Phil. Do you want me to go all 'best friend' on her and stalk her until she loves you again?"

Phil gulps. "Please don't. Besides, we aren't broken up — I'm pretty sure we still...love each other. I think I was just in an emotional state yesterday."

"Are you sure?" Dan questions. "Phil...if you want to talk to me, you know you can."

"Of course," Phil says quickly. "I know that. It's nothing — everything is fine."

"Phil," Dan says warningly, "you can't lie to me. Something's bugging you, I know it."

He pauses and hesitantly adds, "Are you feeling down lately?"

Phil frowns. "What do you mean by that?"

Dan looks down, a bit shamefaced. "I thought that you did this to yourself. When we were thinking of what could've happened to you...I thought I was someone terrible for not realizing...if, you know, were…"

It was too much for him to finish. Phil's expression softens and he grabs Dan's hand, rubbing it with his thumb softly.

"Oh, Dan," he whispers hoarsely, "this wasn't my doing. I promise. It's not like that is a good thing, but you know I would go straight to you if anything was wrong."

"Do you mean it?" Dan asks shyly. "I want to be there for you always, Phil."

Phil smiles sadly. "You always come first, Dan."

* * *

Dan goes home when the nurse comes back to do some final checks. When he arrives, he is greeted by Striker happily running around him, and Abi calling him into the house from the kitchen.

Dan chuckles as he takes off his coat and hangs it in the small wardrobe. "I didn't know Striker came back. I feel like I haven't seen him in forever."

"Louise dropped him off not too long ago and made me promise to bring him back right away," He hears Abi answer as he walks to the kitchen.

"Typical Louse," he remarks smugly. "We should ask her to come around sometime for tea; the least we can do for all her help lately..."

Dan trails off when he looks at Abit — an action that's not rare nowadays. She's wearing the silver cheetah-print dress he recognized from last year's New Year party, with her hair in a messy bun. She was leaning on the counter, putting her shoes on, and Dan slowly walks towards her.

"You look...nice," he says flatly. Abi smiles regardless of his confusion.

"Thanks!" she chirps. "I'm hoping Harry thinks so too. I need to get him on the same boat that I want to board, if you know what I mean."

"I don't see how he won't want to board your metaphorical love-boat," Dan grits out. Abi looks at him with a smug smile.

"That's very sweet of you to say, Dan," she says almost sarcastically, and that was the end of that. Dan looks down awkwardly.

"Where are you going?" he inquires casually.

"Hawksmoor Seven Dials," Abi replies. "My aunt sent me a gift card to that place for my birthday. I heard it's also serving their 'Sunday roast', so I guess it's fate."

"That's a bit fancy for two 'friends', don't you think?" Dan teases, though he doesn't know how much of it was him being jealous rather than him being supportive. Abi shrugs.

"Like you said," Abi answers, "metaphorical love-boat."

Abi looks at the time and perks up. "Well, it's almost seven. I'll take the tube here and back, unless I get drunk off my ass in regret."

"Call me and I'll hail you a taxi or something," Dan chuckles half-heartedly. Abi nods, kissing his cheek and practically running out the door. Dan looks at Striker with a small smile.

"How about you? Do you want to watch _Zootroplis?_ "

Striker just goes to the couch silently, and Dan sighs sadly.

* * *

"The food here is absolutely mouth-watering," Abi moans with every bite she takes, crossing her legs from under the table. "I can't believe you only ordered a salad."

Harry shrugs. "I don't want to pay too much."

"If I had only known you thought that!" Abi nearly exclaims. "I thought you knew that I was buying dinner tonight! At least get a fancy dessert or something."

Harry laughs. "Of course you're not paying, Abigail. This isn't a date, after all."

Abi's smile falters. "It's not too late to change things."

Harry tugs his tie. "About that, Abigail—"

"Abi," she corrects. Harry nods.

" _Abi,_ " he corrects, "I really don't want to lead you on this way."

Abi sighs, throwing the napkin on the table. "I'm taking this the wrong way, am I? I'm really sorry, Harry; I was kind of hoping this would go somewhere."

"It would always lead to a dead end, unfortunately," Harry sighs.

"What does that mean?"

Harry avoids eye contact. "I had a husband, not a wife. Ideally, I'd still want one."

Abi nearly spits out the chunk of steak that was in her mouth. "P-Pardon?"

"I'm asexual," Harry admits. "Though I suppose it's different for everyone. I don't feel the strongest amount of romantic love towards someone, but my husband, Patrick...it was different."

Abi nods, a bit intrigued. Harry continues.

"I know myself that I can love people, but I knew I couldn't give Patrick what he wanted from the day he brought me home and into his bed. I told him I couldn't...but we did anyway because it made him happy. I felt nothing though."

"Harry," Abi says quietly, almost pitiful. He shakes his head.

"It's not my fault, of course," he confesses. "I know it wasn't his fault either. He wanted more...I guess he had every right to get more, even if it meant hurting me."

"I'm so sorry," Abi whispers, twisting her fork in her hand nervously. "I can't believe I made you come all this way, and I am sorry that I hit on you constantly. God, this must've been the worst night for you."

"To be honest, this is the most fun I've ever had for a while," Harry laughs quietly. "I really appreciate you bringing me here. Sure, the romance was something I didn't want — not only because I'm ace, but because I didn't want to ruin what we had."

"You could never," Abi promises.

Silence between them, Abi leans back in her chair. "Geez. I can't believe you're throwing the sexuality card at me."

The tension breaks after that and Harry finds himself laughing once more.

* * *

Dan watches Abi go out of Harry's car, and watches her kiss his cheek. He could see the red on his face, and despite the weather, he practically storms out.

"Hey, guys!" he says in the most fakest voice he could muster. "Hey, Abi, do you mind if I talk to Harry for a minute? Just a few things about the stalker-crisis, you know."

"Of course," Abi says, pulling her hand away from Harry's with a small smile. "I had a great night. Call me when you feel up to it again?"

"Of course," he promises, and watches her skip up the stairs. Dan's teeth chatter, but it the cold weather couldn't mask his heated anger.

"So," he grits out. "How was your date?"

"Cut the crap, Dan," Harry chuckles, much to Dan's surprise. "I know how you feel about Abi. I could see it from the second I saw you look at her."

Dan goes pale, and it wasn't because it was cold either. "W-What?"

"You don't have to be a detective to know that," Harry shrugs. "I pulled the sexuality card on her, so she's all yours."

Dumbfounded, Dan watches Harry go into the car with the promise of visiting in a few days, and he watches him drive away.

When Dan goes in the house, Abi's leaning against the stair-rail with a smirk.

"Were you able to tell Harry everything you wanted to?" Abi says innocently.

Dan rolls his eyes and storms upstairs, Abi's laugh and Striker himself trailing behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart* (creds to Dan Howell)


	30. Red Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's not peanut butter if there is no peanut in it": possibly the best analogy of this story?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sprinkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> Alright, I hope you enjoyed all that multi-update — I'll work towards Chapter 31 before the New Year. Hopefully all these updates makes up for the cliffhanger about 'bout to throw on y'all :')
> 
> P.S- Everything up until this point was pre-European TATINOF. There is a gap between chapter 29 when they are about to go on European tour, and now is the aftermath. Dunno if that makes sense, but I am keeping it as "canon" as possible. If there are any contradictions, don't bother pointing it out — it's all fiction after all, I suppose.

_**Chapter 30: Red Christmas** _

Abi sighs when she closes the cashier — it was Christmas Eve, but it didn't feel like it.

"Are you going to close up, Abi?" Rosa asks, sweeping past the front desk. "I understand if you wanna get home to Phil and Dan early."

Abi blushes softly. "I could close up, Rosa. I'm sure you have somewhere to be on the holidays with some special people, right?"

Rosa's eyes twinkle. "Suppose so. It'd be nice to start prepping for my surprise visit to some very important people."

"Then go," Abi stresses out, leaning of the counter and took the broom right out of her hands. "Jonathan already left thirty minutes before closing, and you should've been gone even earlier — you are the owner, after all."

"Jonathan's a lazy bastard, that's why he went home," Rosa says smugly. "Go home, Abi. I'll leave fifteen minutes after you."

She grabs the broom out of Abi's hands before she could respond, and Abi closes her open-mouth and grins.

"Fine," she says, walking around the counter to get her jacket on the coat-hanger. "I owe you one for this, Rosa. Whatever you want, I promise."

"That won't be necessary," Rosa says after some hesitation. "Have a happy holidays, huh? Tell the dear ol' boys the same thing, if they ain't busy playing video games like pre-teens."

"Oh god, you have no idea," Abi giggles as she slips her jacket on. "I have to act like their mom just to get them down for dinner. 'Gaming-mas' was a terrible idea."

"Is it stressing the poor lads out?" Rosa asks, the sound of popping gum drowning out her accent. "Phil 'specially. Does he want to see me?"

Abi sighs. "To be honest, he doesn't want to see anyone. I don't know how they made it through the European tour without Phil breaking down, or how they are even filming videos. As soon as they finish, Phil either starts editing or goes downstairs. It's taken a toll on all of us — including his family."

Rosa frowns. "Poor boy. Maybe he should swing on by at my place before his family comes over this Christmas?"

Abi stops in her tracks, her arm mid-sleeve. "How did you know they were coming over?"

Rosa blinks. "I assumed they were coming over, no? Or does Dan's family come over?"

The absence of her name in her sentence barely fazes Abi, but she ignores it for the sake of answering the question.

"No, Phil's family is coming over."

"Lucky guess, I s'pose," Rosa says, clicking her tongue. "Should I come over then?"

"If you want," Abi answers. "It might brighten him up a bit"

"Phil? Not bright?" Rosa asks incredulously. "Well that be ridiculous. I'll come over if he wants...it'll definitely fire him up, that's for sure."

Abi grins and swings her messenger bag over her shoulder. "Then I'll be on my way! Hopefully I'll see you later, but if not, ciao for now!"

"Ciao indeed," Rosa mutters when she's sure Abi is on the other side of the glass door, and smiles.

* * *

"I'm home for the holidays," Abi sing-songs when she enters the house, with grocery bags in her hands. She is greeted by Striker circling around her excitedly, a small jingle sounding with every step. She kneels down and pets him, noticing his new collar and looking up to see Dan.

"Glad you made it home safely," Dan says as she stands up, already helping her with her things. "Rosa let you off early?"

"Quite the opposite almost happened, actually," Abi replies as they walk to the kitchen island and set the bags on the surface. "I was going to close up, but she was so insistent on closing up. Since I got back, thought I might as well do some groceries before Phil's parents come over."

"I nearly forgot about that, honestly," Dan chuckles, taking some of the food out of the bags. "What did you end up getting? Should I start heating the oven for some intense baking?"

"No, I ended up marinating the ribs we had a few nights ago, so I will finish those up after I change. As for everything else, I bought a turkey and you can make cookies or something."

"Did you get the mince pies that were on sale at that bakery down the street?" Dan asks. "I heard those were pretty good; traditionally-made as well."

"Yeah, I did," she says pulling the tray of pies out. "They nearly made me drool on the tube. I think the person sitting beside me was having the same idea as well — I would've scarfed all of those pies down."

"Do I have to make cookies?" Dan asks. "I was thinking of making those monster pops we made for Halloween on my channel."

"Monster pops?" Abi replies incredulously.

"Christmas themed, of course," Dan says with a roll of his eyes. "Did you buy some icing ingredients for the cookies? I might be able to use those instead, and if Phil didn't eat all the white chocolate my parents sent over, it might work."

"Phil's mum is allergic to nuts," Abi points out.

"We can use fun-butter," Dan counter-attacked with a smile, sliding behind her to get to the fridge. "Mrs. Lester is all about that soy, you know."

"For the last time, peanut butter is not peanut butter if there is no peanuts in it!" Abi giggles. "Sure, go ahead. We'll all know it's a lie."

Suddenly, they heard someone bump into the couch from the living room, followed by a small groan. Dan and Abi exchange looks and hurried into the living room.

"Phil?" Dan says after some silence and awkward silence. "Did you...bump into the couch?"

Phil looks at them with bags under his eyes and nods, almost ashamed. Abi bites her lips, trying to bite back her questions.

"Are hungry?" she prompts. "I can spare a mince pie before your parents come."

"Editing," Phil gruffly answers, shuffling past them. "I was going to get some coffee."

"Phil, you look like you barely slept last night," Dan points out. "I can edit if you want, I just don't want you sleep-editing — we're not those kinds of YouTubers."

"S'fine," Phil mumbles, nearly putting the salt in his empty coffee mug. Abi catches him doing it when they follow him back into the kitchen, and takes the mug. She dumps it in the sink, and Phil watches as some salt falls into the kitchen. He nearly blushes.

Dan sighs. "Phil, please get some rest. You're parents are coming over in four hours and you've barely had a wink of sleep."

"I have to finish editing," Phil repeats in a slur.

"Phil, you can barely stand," Dan says, his voice cracking a bit at the thought. "We have a joint channel for a reason, Phil — if you are tired, I can take over."

"We need this done for tonight, Dan," Phil mutters. "I don't care how much sleep I lose over it. Not like it matters."

"Phil, sleep is very important," Dan's voice rises with every word; "you out of anyone should know that."

"Didn't you want to film a video anyway?" Abi cuts in. "Dan can edit, I can cook, and you can film. Buy then, everything should be done and—"

"I'll edit, you cook," Phil snaps. "I don't need my audience seeing their sunshine-understudy like this."

Dan and Abi watch as Phil stomps up the stairs with an empty mug, stunned.

"What does he mean by understudy?" Dan says quietly, facing Abi. "He can't certainly feel like he's second-best, does he?"

"Does he usually?" she asks.

"Not really, but I do," Dan admits. "I wish he could speak up for himself, not only to other people, but to our community of fans. He deserves more than I do, but he doesn't deserve this."

Abi sighs quietly. "He'll be fine. He always is."

Dan frowns. "That's what I'm worried about"

Silence fills the gap between them and Abi clears her throat.

"Let's start baking, shall we?" she prompts, and Dan nods, the two turning on their heels and walking towards the kitchen once more.

* * *

After what seems like an eternity later, they heard the doorbell ring. Dan can immediately hear Striker barking, his feet skidding across the wooden floors and down the stairs in a rush.

"Coming!" Dan yells from the kitchen, already making his way down the hall.

"Sway them away from the kitchen!" Abi calls out. "I need to prepare the table — they can't see this mess of a table yet! Gahhh, the flour!"

"Phil?" Dan says over her. "Come down, your parents are here!"

He opens the door. Mr. and Mrs. Lester's flushed faces are the first things he sees. He smiles right away.

"Hello, hello! Come in!" Dan quickly says, ushering them in. He hugs both of them and grabs their bags as they walk in.

"It sure is freezing out there!" Mr. Lester chuckles, shaking Dan's hair firmly. "Daniel, lad, it's good to see you again. It's been too long."

"You too, Mr. Lester," Dan says readily. He then faces Mrs. Lester and adds, "How are you?"

"Good, good!" she responds. Abi comes rushing to the front step seconds after, taking her flour-covered apron off and throwing it to the side. She extended her arms out.

"Mrs. and Mr. Lester!" she exclaims, hugging both of them. "Welcome to our humble abode!"

"It's nice to see you again, Abigail!" Mrs. Lester says with a smile. "I see that you're taking the housewife role for the household?"

Abi scoffs. "Someone has to around here, or we just have Chinese take-out for the rest of our lives"

The two laugh, and they walk into the house and settle around the couch. Mrs. Lester looks over at Dan curiously.

"Where's Phil?" she asks. "He's usually down here by now."

Abi and Dan exchange brief looks and Abi speaks up.

"Editing, he says," she says quickly, not breaking eye contact with Dan. "He should be down here soon…"

"Is he still feeling poorly?" Mrs. Lester asks worryingly. "God, I can just imagine what my poor boy is going through right now."

"Us too, Mrs. Lester," Dan admits sadly as Abi stands up to go to the kitchen. "He has been a bit distant nowadays, and it worries us so much."

"Has he talked to you guys about what has been happening?" Mr. Lester presses. "I heard about the unfortunate address leak as well — the terrible things that have been happening to you guys are unimaginable."

"Admittedly, we've been scraping through nowadays," Dan responds. "It's been quiet here, but we were hoping that you would be the people to change that."

"Has he went on Twitter at all?" Mrs. Lester, mumbling her gratitude to Abi, who was passing some hot chocolate around. "Has he been active at all?"

"Unfortunately, no," Abi answers. "Other than 'Gaming-mas', he hasn't even touched his laptop or his camera. I'm kind of worried for him, mainly because the pressure that all his fans are putting on him…"

Everyone remains silent until Mr. Lester clears his throat.

"So, Daniel, how are things with you?" he says quietly, before breaking into a small smile. "Met anybody who has swept you off your feet?"

Abi and Dan both blush, sinking into their seats.

"No one in particular, sir," Dan mumbles, and Abi bites her lip. Mrs. Lester chuckles.

"There are too many touchy conversations with you guys 'round here, huh?" she jokes.

"Yup," Abi giggles softly. "How about you, Mr. and Mrs. Lester? Done anything memorable since we've seen you last?"

"Nothing much, no," Mr. Lester responds. "Though, we did go to a bar for our anniversary a few weeks back. Boy, did we run into some strange people. This one girl in particular, with an odd looking animal tattoo had an unfortunate encounter with us that night—"

"Most Lester's do," a voice cuts him off and everyone turns around to see Phil, wearing a blue Christmas jumper and a small smile. Mrs. Lester covers her smile with her hands and tackles Phil into a big hug.

"Oh, Phil," she says, voice nearly cracking. "You're here."

"In one piece, luckily," Phil jokes. "I thought you were going to get mad that my first hospital encounter was because of drug overdose."

"We know what the situation is, son; we're just glad that you are okay," Mr. Lester replies, squeezing his hand tightly. "It's better than hearing that you smashed your nose into a wall playing trains."

Phil laughs for the first time in forever. "The pressure of being conductor is pretty scary, dad — if you had only known, you wouldn't be joking as much as you are now!"

Everyone shares a laugh, and Abi squeezes his hand as Dan ushers everyone into the kitchen.

"Change of mood for the parents?" Abi whispers, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back slightly. "You can spill whatever you are feeling."

"No need to ruin Christmas," Phil says with a soft smile.

"Why the sudden table-turn?"

Phil looks down with a blush. "I heard you guys talking about me. How you were so worried for me. It...it admittedly made me feel better, only because I knew that someone cared about how I felt."

"We always do, Phil!" Abi replies with a grin. "You are number one to all of us here. I'm sure millions of people feel the same way."

Phil lets a genuine smile out, pushing down any other feelings he had.

"Thank you, Abi," he says quietly, pulling her into a hug. "I was thinking, when the parents leave, that the three of us can film a Christmas video?"

Abi's eyes twinkle. "I'd thought you never ask."

* * *

The next day, everyone says goodbye and they part ways with Phil's parents. Dan helps Phil edit the Christmas video after their exchange of presents, and Abi does some paperwork in her room for work. Striker sits on her bed as she hums a familiar tune. Through her earbuds, however, she can still hear Dan and Phil's banter as they argue through the walls.

"No, Dan, you're not putting Comic Sans there!" Phil says with a laugh. "You've done that too many times, and it's getting annoying!"

Dan raises up his hands. "You asked for help, I give you that and some over-ironic memes."

"You're such a diva to work with," Phil chuckles, "if only everyone saw this side of you. Everyone would pity me."

"Blah blah blah," Dan giggles, and Phil rolls his eyes and continues to edit.

Dan looks down at the bed and smiles.

"I miss this," he whispers. "Sitting on your bed and editing together."

"Kinky," Phil says smugly.

"Oh, shut up!" Dan exclaims, playfully punching him. "You know what I am talking about. I honestly enjoy this time together...it makes me feel a lot more better with where we stand."

Phil looks up and nods, blood rushing to his cheeks.

"I miss this too, Dan," he mumbles. "I hope the new year brings back the old years."

They hold eye contact for a while before the doorbell rings. Phil clears his throat.

"You edit — I can go get it." Phil stands up, and Dan nods.

" 'Kay, you spoon."

Phil rushes down the stairs and opens the door. His eyes widen.

Everything about her was red;  
her beanie,  
her jacket  
her cheeks  
 _the gift in her hand_.

"What the fuck are you doing here," Phil hisses. "I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from us."

Rosa smiles widely. "Now is that any way to be Mr. Sunshine, dearest? I, your humble girlfriend, is just stopping by to exchange gifts."

The box in her hand was dark red with thick, yellow string splitting the thin box into four sections. Through a crack in the box, all Phil saw was silver.

"Merry Christmas, darling," she whispers when Phil's panicked eyes met hers. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are always welcome — Merry Christmas :)


	31. Not My Fault I Fell In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She wants me gone," he says quietly. "She wants Abi gone too. She wants an end."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sprinkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> Guess who has somewhat of a schedule after not updating in two months? Let's get this over with ^-^

 

_**Chapter 31: Not My Fault I Fell In Love** _

Phil stands there wordlessly. She was _back,_ after thinking that he would never see her again. But she was just _there._

"Aren't you going to invite me in, Phil?" she asks again, this time her smile falling. "Hasn't anyone told you it's rude to not let your girlfriend in?"

"I-I thought I told you to leave me alone," Phil says lowly, almost sounding angry. "Rosa, you know I am not one for extreme measures, but I will not hesitate to call the police on you."

"The police?" She laughs as if it was just another joke. "Now I know you don't have the guts for that, do you? You couldn't even tell them what happened to you. You're nothing but a _wuss."_

"Phil?" He can hear Dan yell from upstairs. "Are you done with the door? This video won't edit itself, you know?"

"Tell them, Phil." Her voice goes cold. She lifts the lid of the flat, rectangular gift box. Phil's fears are confirmed: inside the box is a knife, shining as if it was brand new.

"Rosa!" Phil turns around in panic and sees Abi walking towards the door with a bowl in her arms. "Merry Christmas! Or, belated Christmas, but you know what I mean. Do you want to come in? I am making Boxing Day cookies! And dinner should be pretty cool too if you want to hang out with Phil."

"I mean, if Phil isn't busy," she says slyly, looking at Phil, "I would _love_ to stay over."

She faces him with an innocent grin. "So what do you say, Phil?"

Phil gulps — he couldn't let her hurt anyone else.

"Come in, Rosa," he says through gritted teeth. "Stay as long as you like."

"Thanks!" she chirps, walking into the house. "Man, I feel as if I have never been in here before! Your hours is absolutely beautiful!"

Her accent wasn't as peppy as it was before.

"Jesus, Phil, are you caught up with some salesman again—" Dan starts off as he goes down the stairs, Striker trailing behind him, and stops when he saw Rosa. He looks at Phil suspiciously, but grins anyway, going down to give her a hug.

"Rosa! You're not an annoying salesman pitching us crappy Boxing Day stuff!" he exclaims in their embrace, and Rosa laughs.

"No, I'm not!" she says, keeping him in the hug for longer. She stares at Phil and winks, and Phil looks horrified. She's holding the knife, she's too close, she's going to—

"Anyway, why don't I make you some tea?" Abi's voice snaps them out of their embrace, and Phil looks at Abi, almost dumbfounded. Either way, he quietly trails behind Rosa, who makes her way to the lounge.

"Do you have some of that honey-flavoured tea y'all brought to work?" she asks as she makes herself comfortable. "That stuff was amazing."

"We might have some leftovers," Abi says, moving to the kitchen. "Hey, Dan, do you mind helping me with the food?"

"Can I eat it?" he retorts, and Abi's cheery laugh merely echoes in Phil's ears.

"That's for later," Abi says sternly. "We need to make dinner for the whole family now."

 _Family._ The fact that Rosa was considered family made Phil sick. He looks at her, trying to determine what her plan was. She grins.

"I feel like we're going to have a lovely night," she says with a smug smile, "don't you?"

* * *

"Abi, this looks delicious!" Rosa exclaims as she sits herself at the dining table.

"Thank you!" Abi replies, pouring food in Striker's bowl. "It's hard not to learn how to cook while I'm surrounded by Delia Smith fanatics."

"Delia Smith knows what's she's doing," Dan retorts. "Delia Smith is a goddess."

"You sound like a brainwashed-version of your internet persona," Abi says sarcastically, finally sitting down at the table. Phil remains quiet, and Dan finally takes notice.

"Phil?" His head went up at the sound of his name. "Is everything okay? You've been pretty quiet all night."

"Yeah, Mario Kart is usually a lot more intense," Abi points out. Rosa looks at him smugly, and Phil gulps.

"I…"

He was going to tell them, _he really was,_ but the way Rosa stared him down; it made him feel like he was the only person in the room in control of the gun attached to everyone's heads.

"Come on, honey. Spit it out." Rosa's voice sounded like a drill in his ears. "It honestly can't be that bad."

Phil gulps, poking his fork at the ball of rice on his plate and watching it break open.

"It's nothing," Phil answers distractedly, and that was the end of the conversation.

"Are you sure?" Abi asks again, but Phil shakes his head.

"How was your Christmas, Rosa?" Phil asks instead, and Rosa's smug smile brightens in less than a second.

"It was lovely!" she chirps. "I was going to stay with some family, but I guess they didn't want me to be there, so I just spent my Christmas on Tumblr."

"I mean, I know Tumblr is an addictive place, but I'm sorry...about your family," Dan says quietly, and Rosa grins, leaning forward with her chin in her hand.

"You're too sweet, Howell," she says lowly.

She holds his gaze for a little while before Abi coughs, and she leans back in her chair.

Rosa adjusts herself in her seat and smiles politely.

"It is very nice of you to say so, Dan," she says, and Dan smiles nervously. "Don't worry about my family — when they found out about who I really was, they kind of disowned me. I really don't mind — it's not my fault I fell in love, right?"

The whole table is silent, but Phil is quietly fuming.

"I have to finish editing." Phil stands up from his seat, his plate still full of food, and begins to make his way upstairs.

"I can finish the editing if you'd like?" Dan offers.

"Listen to Dan, honey." He could hear Rosa's demands through her pretty smile.

Abi just stares at him, and Phil shakes his head.

"No, it's fine," he says at last. "I'm going to go upstairs and edit, and then buy some things for a video — I think I want to do a pastel video or something."

"Phil—"

"It was lovely to see you again, Rosa," Phil cuts Dan off. "If you are staying over, you know where the guest room is."

Everyone stares at him, slightly awestruck, and Phil just storms up the stairs. Everyone can hear the slam of his door, and Dan sighs.

"Excuse me," he mumbles, making his way upstairs to confront his friend. Abi and Rosa sit in an uncomfortable silence, and Rosa smiles — _he was going to snap._

"Abi?" she asks sweetly. "How about I show you the gift I got for Phil?"

* * *

Dan can hear Phil's headphones muffling Muse's loud music and Phil humming absentmindedy. He slowly opened the door to see him tap his fingers against the mousepad.

"Phil?" he said, and Phil didn't seem fazed. He said again louder, " _Phil!"_

Phil looked up from behind his laptop screen and the headphones slipped off almost seamlessly. He paused the music and Dan walked in.

"Are you okay?" Dan asks quietly, sitting on the edge of his bed. "It, um, seemed like things got really rough down there...or to you, I guess — I don't really know what happened."

"Nothing important," Phil snaps, and Dan sighs.

"Phil, how long have I known you? Eight years?" Dan says with a sad smile. "You don't make eye contact when you are lying, and you always tap on the nearest surface."

Phil stopped tapping against the side of his laptop and finally stared up at Dan before he realized that he was crying.

"I-I'm sorry," he stutters.

"Sorry?" Dan says calmly. "You don't have to be sorry for anything."

"I-I do," he sobs, finally cracking. He furiously wipes the tears with the back of his hand and says, "This is just what she wanted me to do."

"She?" Dan asks, now concerned. "Phil, is there...is Rosa doing something to you?"

Phil nods.

"Something bad?"

Phil cries again, and Dan's heart breaks.

"What did she do, Phil?"

"This," Phil replies, his voice broken and his hands shaking. "She did this. She did this to me, and she did this to you, and to Abi, and _our family."_

Dan's eyes widen at Phil's sobs. That can't be right. Surely he must have it wrong.

"Rosa?" he whispered quietly, and Phil nods.

"She wants me gone," he says quietly. "She wants Abi gone too. She wants an _end."_

Phil doesn't even have to say the over-dramatic revelation.

"Boys?" Rosa's voice floats in their room, and Phil looks up at Dan when his eyes widen as large as his.

"I can't hear Abi."

Dan nearly stops breathing. He stumbles off Phil's bed and down the stairs, Phil's broken sobs following, and stops mid-way on the staircase.

Rosa is holding Abi against the fireplace, a knife to her neck and an empty gift box beside her foot. Abi is crying, and Phil knows that _now it was all falling apart._

"Set up the guest room, will you?" Rosa says sweetly, pressing the knife against Abi's neck threateningly. "I feel like we're overdue for a sleepover."

* * *

**Reviews mean everything to me ^-^**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart*


	32. And I Ran

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If anything, it was all his fault. Rosa wanted a literal end to Abi because of him, and has used Phil to be able to get close to him. Because at the end of the day, it was him that she wanted, and she'd eventually have him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?
> 
> This story is also on Fanfiction.net if you prefer that; I go by the same name on that website.
> 
> Forgive me for spelling/grammar mistakes. Please :P
> 
> Enjoy!

_**Chapter 32: And I Ran** _

_Phil Lester; AmazingPhil  
11:27 PM_

_A bit busy nowadays, so I am going on a lil' mini-vacation from the internet. Will return with food and lions ^-^_

_Dan Howell; danisnotonfire_

_11:30 PM_

_taking a cheeky hiatus to catch up on some things. don't destroy yourselves while i'm gone._

…

"Sit, or you can watch fucking head fall off," Rosa demands. Phil wordlessly goes to the couch without hesitation, but Dan is rooted in his place.

"What are you going to do, Dan?" she growls. "Hit me?"

The knife gets threateningly close to Abi's neck, and she stiffens visibly. Their eyes meet. Abi looks at the couch, and then back at him, as if saying " _behave"_ with that stare.

He moves to the couch, and Rosa smiles, lowering the knife and pulling Abi's shirt. She drags her onto the couch with one push. Abi instinctively moves closer to Dan, and he manages to sneak a worried glance her way before Rosa stands in front of them, almost towering metres above them.

"What do you want with us?" Dan grits out, and Abi nudges him softly. Rosa's head goes back, and she's laughing.

"Funny you should ask, _babe,_ " Rosa purrs, moving closer to him that he could feel her breath on his lips. "I didn't know you would be this mad."

"Mad?" he growls, clenching his fist. "Rosa, when we're done here, it's going to be a lot more than _mad."_

"Dan," Abi scolds under her breath. Rosa flashes him a smile.

"I just didn't know you'd be upset of a grand gesture that was planned for years," she said, looking at her nails nonchalantly, " _just for you."_

Dan's breath hitches, and now Phil speaks up.

"Let them go," Phil says, voice shaky.

"Why would I ever do that if I am getting what I want?" Rosa asks. "Haven't we been over this, Phil? If I wanted Dan, I would have to get rid of _you._ And if I wanted Dan, I would have to put an end to this...roomie."

Rosa grins, and adds, "And isn't that something that shows I want to start a lifetime together, Dan?"

"What do you want?" Abi blurts out. "If you wanted to kill us, you would've."

"Don't be silly, Abi," Rosa says, rolling her eyes. "This isn't a spy film — I can kill you whenever the fuck I wanted to. You're a bit easy though, as you are pretty much a broken toy ready to be swept away."

"Fuck off!" Dan shouts, and the next thing he knew, a cold hand slaps his cheek. His head flies to the side in surprise, and Abi nearly screams.

"Get off him!" Phil is now shouting; something Abi didn't feel comfortable seeing.

Rosa ignores him, grabbing Dan's head by the cheeks and scratching her nails into his skin.

"I'll tell you what we're going to do." Her eyes don't leave his. "We're going to play by my rules now. I have been following you for years now, and now it's time you do the same for me."

She pushes his head back, and it hits against the couch. Everyone falls quiet, and Rosa huffs, pulling back from Dan.

"None of you are leaving the house," she orders. "None of you are going on YouTube, or any social media either — wouldn't want something to... _slip_."

Dan and Phil look at each other, and it almost makes Abi scared; they always joked about not surviving minutes without the internet, but this time it felt a bit too real.

"Wouldn't it be lovely to spend some time together?" Rosa continues. "You can give me the...ultimate phangirl experience. Wouldn't that be fun?"

When no one answers, Rosa smiles, almost satisfied.

"Well now that we are all settled," She claps her hands as if she was the fucking host, "how about a movie? I am feeling...Studio Ghibli?"

She winks, and adds, "Maybe a fluffy one, though. No one wants to see blood before it's spilled."

* * *

The fact that Phil went back to his old branding for a split second made Dan want to cry a little.

Sure, Phil didn't mind as much about his old lion branding — because, let's be honest, no one was as cringe as 2011 Dan — but it stung that he mentioned it because it was standard AmazingPhil, but he couldn't hear _Phil._

He heard someone trying to please a fan to a point where it wasn't "fan service" anymore, and this situation was almost a hyperbolic version of that kind of hell.

Because now a week has passed and he felt less like a human and more like a robot. True to their word, they haven't been outside or on the internet in the last week, as they were indeed busy — making sure no mistakes were made in Rosa's "phangirl experience."

It was beginning to become too much — eating cereal for dinner, watching movies, playing video games; all of things that were fun have now turned into obstacles.

If anything, it was all his fault. Rosa wanted a literal end to Abi because of him, and has used Phil to be able to get close to him _._ Because at the end of the day, it was _him_ that she wanted, and she'd eventually have him.

"Danny?" Rosa purrs, trailing kisses up his neck. He blinks, surprised, and watches Phil visibly stiffen from on the other side of the couch. "Isn't this your favourite song?"

It probably is. He couldn't tell. All he could see was the things outside his view of Rosa's rosy face; Phil was reading a book on the couch, and Abi was cooking dinner. Striker was sitting at Phil's feet, and he could hear the song, "Space Dementia", playing; no, that wasn't his favourite song, but as ironic as it was, he didn't expect her to know.

He tells Rosa that it is his favourite, and she smiles, almost content with the answer. For a minute, he's almost afraid she'll see through his facade.

"What are you cooking, Abi?" Rosa says instead, looking over her shoulder and towards the kitchen. "It smells absolutely _delicious."_

Dan sneaks a glance at Abi, whose face visibly tenses. Rosa's pearly smile falls.

" _Abi?_ " she presses. "You going to answer?"

Abi presses her lips together, and it was like Dan could feel the pent-up frustration from the last week. He could feel it all tumbling down, and it was over when he hears a tiny, fed-up breath.

"What the fuck do you think you're playing at, Abi?" Rosa growls, standing up with a force that nearly knocks Dan off the couch. Phil looks up from his book with an indescribable look in his eyes.

"I'm cooking," Abi grits out, and Dan could tell she was at her breaking point. Rosa goes up to her and presses herself against Abi.

"Fucking sorry?" Rosa yells. "Do you think this is the experience that a fan would ask for? If anything, I can just spill the beans on how all of you are _fucking assholes."_

"What the hell do you want, Rosa?!" Phil suddenly screams from his spot, throwing the book aside and standing up. "You have us in one house, and you can fucking end-the-Roomie or whatever sick thing you want and take Dan if you wanted because you sure as hell broke me. But what are _you_ playing at? I swear to God, this week has gone on long enough."

Rosa whips her head towards him. "Sorry, love. I didn't quite get that; what the _hell_ are you trying to say to me?"

"I am going to count to three," he says, confidence wavering. "If you don't get the fuck out of this house, I am going to make you get out."

Dan looks up at Phil with fear, standing up because he now felt he had to — Rosa's eyes held an indescribable fire and all he could feel was fear.

"You sure have a mouth of an idiot for someone who experienced the only love they'd really get," Rosa says slowly. Phil says nothing else when she gets closer, and Rosa throws a punch at him.

"Get the hell away from him!" Abi screams, and Dan has to pull her back before she could get hurt too. He tries to intervene himself, but now Phil is on the floor near Striker and Rosa hits him with everything she has.

"You," She kicks him again, "are going to fucking regret that."

She grabs her backpack from the couch after an agonizing minute of pain, and as Dan helps Phil up, the three of them find themselves facing the barrel of a gun.

"Don't move," she growls. Everyone freezes in their spot.

"Why can't you be as obedient as Dan?" she breathes out, almost annoyed. "You two like to run your mouths like morons, while Dan is ever-the dog."

She stares at Dan, flashes him a smile, and says, "Everything you'd ever want in a boy, you know."

Dan feels himself tightening up like a spring-trap suit about to snap.

"Phil was like that, once upon a time," she continues. "Would do anything. I almost liked him before I realized how pathetic he was."

Phil says nothing, trying to ignore the bruises blossoming on his chest.

"Though Phil has always been right; this week has gone long enough. Maybe it's time I get what I came here for."

She cocks the gun and points it at Abi, whose breath gets stuck in her throat. Time nearly stops until it happens.

" _Fuck!"_ Rosa curses, hunching over on the ground and loosening her grip on the gun. Dan watches dumbly as blood leaks from the bite mark on her ankle that Striker left.

Dan runs towards her and kicks the gun out of her hands while she's hunched over, watching it slide on the wooden floor. When Rosa flies up to face him, her face is contorted with rage.

Dan feels himself blackout for a mere second and when he comes to, his fist hurts and Rosa is on the ground, her cheek bruised.

He looks up at Phil and Abi and scoops Striker up in his arms, moving towards the door. Abi grabs Dan's phone off the coffee table and helps Phil run towards the front of the house.

It's open in a single second, and _they ran._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, do whatever you do on this website. *hand heart*


	33. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new year, new you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i don't own dan or phil, nor do i own any social media references, music references, and whatever else you recognize. i do own my oc, abigail elizabeth woods :)
> 
> wow last time i updated this, daniel howell was danisnotonfire whoops :')

_**Chapter 33: Flashback** _

_January 1st, 2017_   
_Subject: Philip Lester_

The metal door opens, and the first thing the police officer sees is a black-haired man.

He looks at his files again, and at the picture in the top right corner of the paper. He looks back up at the man sitting down, and then back down at the paper; he looked so much _broken_ in real life.

"Philip Lester?" the man asks. When prompted by Philip's nod, he smiles as kindly as he could and adds, "I'm Officer Morton. I work with Detective Grants, who I know you called."

"Not me," Philip says right away. "And, um, it's Phil."

Officer Morton nods at Philip — no, _Phil_ — and taps his pen against the table. "Who called?"

"Um…," Phil starts off, and noticing the big bruise on his head, Officer Morton sighs.

"Don't worry, son," he says, "I don't expect you to remember."

Phil almost takes a sigh of relief from across the table. Officer Morton sneaks a glance at him — Phil's face was covered in small bruises, mainly near his forehead, and sported a split lip. His arms were littered in bruises — some fresh, some new — and a small scrape of blood covered his pale arm.

"I will, however, be asking you questions about the night it happened," Officer Hank finally says. "Tell me, Phili— _Phil;_ what do you remember from that night?

* * *

_December 27th, 2016_

"Um, while I love pretending I am in an action movie, I should probably ask if any of you know where we're going?" Dan asks, his jog slowly running thin. "I didn't bring Striker's leash, and I think my arms are going numb."

"We can go to the nearest train station," Abi replies. "My phone's almost dead, but it says that if we keep running straight ahead until the second intersection, we can make a right and then catch a train to your mum's house, Phil. Is that okay?"

"I can call," Phil manages to say, and coughs. Dan blinks, and swears he sees red.

"Should we bring him to a hospital?" Dan whispers, stopping near a streetlamp and putting Striker onto the sidewalk gently. Striker sits near his feet. "I don't want him to get worse, and I am pretty sure the train station would be just as concerned as I am."

"They won't," Abi says, stopping to stare him, dead-eyed, "trust me."

As Dan remains somewhat surprised, Phil looks behind them and says, "Alright, train guys won't care; but what happens after? We can't stay at my mum's forever, and if anything, it won't take too long for Rosa to find us. I don't want my mom to get into this mess too."

"We can go to Brighton," Dan prompts. "PJ has two spare rooms, I think."

"Is getting PJ involved any better?" Abi snaps. Dan glares at her.

"Look Abi, I know this must be very stressful—"

"Damn right it is, considering her name is fucking 'endtheroomie'!"

"—but we can't let that stop us from being rational, or make us turn on one another. If anything, that's probably what Rosa wants."

"So what do we do, Dan?" Abi nearly screams. "She can't be too far behind now. It's almost one in the morning — we've been running for probably an hour to God know's where. We have to figure out something, and f—"

"Can't we call the police?" Phil finally snaps. "If you guys keep arguing, maybe blood will come out of my ears too!"

Abi and Dan exchange looks, and Abi's hand is in her pocket, searching for her phone. When she pulls it out, her eyes fall.

"Fuck," she curses.

"Dead?" Dan asks. When she nods, he stops before saying, "Don't you have mine?"

Abi blinks, going in her other pocket and grabbing Dan's phone. Her fingers fly across the lock screen before it buzzes.

_"Incorrect Password."_

"Incorrect password?!" Abi exclaims. "Dan, you've had this phone for two years and the password's stayed the same! Why would you cha— oh bloody hell, I don't care; what is it?"

Dan's cheeks go red. "Um, I'll do it."

"Why does it matter?!" Phil almost yells. "Just tell her the bloody password!"

"It's really embarrassing though!" Dan whines back

"It'd be really embarrassing if we died like this too!" Abi retorts, and Dan sighs.

" ' B-hyphen-bug-comma, 2013'," Dan finally says. Abi stares at him briefly, before typing it in and being greeted to Dan's dark home screen.

"B-bug?" Phil echoes as Abi frantically types. "I haven't heard that name in years."

"Well, I don't think it's very important now, but—"

_"My my,"_ They freeze and turn around, _"you kids just can't get off your phone for a damn second, can you."_

**Bang!**

At the gunshot, Dan scoops Striker once more with his aching arms and makes a sharp turn to the left of them. Abi and Phil follow, running as far as they could before—

"Are you fucking serious," Dan mutters, slowly coming to a stop.

"Dan, what are you doing?!" Abi screams. "Keep runn—"

She is cut off by what she sees too, followed by Phil's hitch of breath. They are backed up against the wall when they hear the sound of a gun reloading.

_"Dead end, dearies,"_ Rosa says, and the three found themselves starring at the end of a gun. _"Perhaps this'll be dead-centre too."_

* * *

_January 1st, 2017_   
_Subject: Abigail Woods_

Officer Morton sighs as he lets Phil shuffle out of the interrogation room — sure, he got a few answers, but nothing he didn't already know.

He didn't blame the guy though — he was still shaken from the event, and he was entitled too. Sure, frustration was inevitable, but there wasn't much he could do about it.

He could only hope with Abigail.

She walks in less tattered than Phil, but then again, she was less of _anything_ than Phil; her eyes were glazed over with an indescribable look, and her voice was void of any emotion.

"Ms. Woods," he greets her. "Please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable."

She does in a single, fluid motion, but still remained silent. Officer Morton shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"Officer Morton," he says, extending a hand over the table. Abigail doesn't take it.

"Right," he says, bringing his hand back and scratching the back of his neck. He looks down at her files, and then back up at her.

He could already see the effect that took place with the two victims; Phil looked completely different than his file deems him to be, but it was all physical. Abigail, however, looked as if the situation had a massive toll on her brain.

He cleared his throat.

"Did you call Detective Grants?" he asks, starting off easily.

"Texted," Abigail answers softly, though a strong accent floats out. "I know him personally, so he was the first person I thought of."

Officer Morton nods, scribbling a few words in a stray notepad beside him. He looks up at Abigail, who seems much more interested in the top left corner of the room.

"Do you think you could tell me what happened that night," Officer Morton finally says. Abigail looks up at him.

"Phil was here," she whispers. "He told you everything, didn't he?"

"You're not Phil," Officer Morton explains gently. "I need you to tell me how you saw it."

He could see a flicker of what seemed like sadness, and she sighs.

* * *

_There's a gun in her hand._

"Well come on," Rosa says, eye still focused on the gun that was facing them dead-centre. "Is no one going to clap for me? You know, I was never really good at playing tag…"

"Leave us alone, Rosa," Phil manages to say. Dan's eyes widen and Abi just looks down, her hands twitching in her pocket. "The authorities are going to come any minute now."

"Like that'll stop me from getting what I want," Rosa says, rolling her eyes. "Phil, I never understood how you could never lie. You just have this weak...wavering thing to your personality; it screams weak."

"If you say one more word about Phil, or us for that matter, I hope you know that you're getting a one-way ticket to _hell_ ," Abi growls.

"Nice one," Dan mutters under his breath, and Abi stares at him with eyes yelling "not now." Rosa looks at her with steely eyes.

"You know, we could've been friends, Abi," Rosa says, the words rolling off her tongue like poison. "You're a cute girl. You could've just went to some other train station, met some other boy."

The gun went up.

"Maybe in the next life, you'll know how to work your way around the rest of your fuck-up's."

_"FREEZE!"_

Eyes widen.

**Bang!**

* * *

_January 1st, 2017_   
_Subject: Daniel Howell_

Abi is crying. Or at least, she think she is; because Officer Morton is sliding a pack of tissues across the table as if he knew it would be her.

"I texted Harry before we were in the alley," Abi explains quietly, the sobs slowly stopping. "Harry arrived with the rest of the police squad and tasered Rosa down. She's spending her time in custody for now — trail's in two months."

"Will you be speaking?" Officer Morton asks, scribbling scratch in his notepad. "We can arrange for a lawyer."

"I am still in touch with my lawyer from three years ago," Abi says, and it's not a lie; the guy probably doesn't remember her, considering he got to speak a mere two words at the last trial.

"Alright," Officer Morton says, slipping her file and putting it under the pile. Brown eyes and a smile stare back at him, and he looks up at Abi.

"Thank you for your time, Ms. Woods," he says after a few seconds of silence. "If you could send Mr. Howell in, that would be great. It shouldn't take too long."

Abi stares at him, tears slipping again. Officer Morton frowns.

"Ms. Woods?" he prompts again. "Can you hear me?"

"Y-You don't know?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

When Officer Morton says nothing, she breaks down into tears.

...

He has to escort her out and can't help but sniffle too; sure, he was a policeman, but he was sure as hell not heartless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reviews are really awesome :)


	34. Bullet Holes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the bullet holes were everywhere and were in everyone   
> (that really mattered).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i don't own dan or phil, nor do i own any social media references, music references, and whatever else you recognize. i do own my oc, abigail elizabeth woods :)
> 
> includes: nostalgia, if you look closely :')

_**Chapter 34: Bullet Holes** _

It's been a week.

Phil and Abi walk into a dark house, and when Phil flicks the light switch, Abi doesn't seem fazed at all upon seeing the mess — papers were on the ground, chairs were flipped over, the chandelier looked as if it was hanging on its last few chains, and there were bullet holes in the fabric of the pillows and in the walls.

"We can cover the holes with a painting or something," Phil blurts out. Abi looks at him coldly.

"It's our house, Phil," Abi says. "It's not like we are renting the place or anything."

Phil looks at his feet, avoiding eye contact. "I, um, just thought...you know, considering the current events, that you'd—"

"Not want to live here anymore?" Abi finishes for him, more harshly than she intended it to be. Phil's breath hitches, tapping his finger against the side of his leg nervously.

"She knows where...where we are," Phil says shakily. "I-I don't want...I don't want us to be in danger anymore. Or at least, you and Dan."

Abi sighs sympathetically, walking towards Phil and holding his shoulders firmly.

"She can't hurt us anymore," Abi reassures softly. "With all that has happened, I don't think she could hurt anyone. If you want to move, that's fine, but this is our home. And you know that home is where th—"

"I know," Phil cuts her off. "I...I don't know."

Abi nods, lowering her arms and began to pick papers and magazines off the ground and straightening them into a pile beside her. Phil helps her, moving to the open kitchen area to fix the dining chairs and putting them in their place. Abi frowns.

"Where's Striker?" she asks.

"With Louise," Phil answers seamlessly. He pauses and adds more hesitantly, "I, uh, know I should've told you, but after Rosa was arrested, I asked Louise to take care of him for the time being, since...you know."

"Yeah," Abi says, almost sad that the small dog wasn't trotting around the living room; as if he was the only thing keeping her at least little happy. "Yeah, that's a good call."

Phil looks at the bullet holes in the kitchen and stares at it. It's quiet in the house for a while, and Abi notices the gap of silence filling the room. She looks up at Phil, who had tears dribbling down his face. She quickly gets up and goes to the kitchen, wrapping Phil in a hug. She's on her toes, and they hurt, but that's fine — he was there, and he was _alive._

"I'm so thankful that you're here," Abi says in his shoulder. "Have I ever told you that this week?"

Phil chuckles half-heartedly. "I'm more thankful that you are here. God knows what would've happened if Rosa...i-if she did something to you."

Phil pulls back, almost angry at what he said, and Abi instinctively flinches. Phil doesn't seem to notice, and Abi tries not to notice either.

"God I'm such an idiot," Phil says loudly, more tears running. His hand is in his hair and Abi, despite knowing where the frustration is coming from, backs away slowly. Now Phil notices, and sighs, lowering his hand.

"Sorry," he mumbles, and Abi nods, not saying anything else. Phil shakes his head.

"I'm sorry for everything," he continues. "I'm sorry for being stupid and falling in love with some random waitress I didn't know."

"Phil—"

"No, it was dumb," Phil cuts her off, sobbing. "None of this would've happened if I didn't let her into my life — into _our_ life. I could've kept you both safe. I shouldn't have said a damn thing and broke her heart before she could break mine. I should've done something. I should've—"

"Phil." Her voice is firmer, and Phil stops talking. "Phil, you couldn't have done anything else."

"I was the one who fucked it up." His voice trembles. "I'm the one who screwed us all over. A-And now I ruined your life, and I ruined mine, and _fuck_ I ruined Dan's."

Abi struggles to see the Phil she knew — the one with lights in his eyes and a "hey guys!" to throw whenever he could.

The one without the broken heart.

Phil's staring at the bullet holes again, and Abi sobs loudly, covering her mouth. It surprises Phil, his eyes darting towards her, but he melts and wraps her into her arms. They're close enough to hear each other's breaths.

"We can cover the holes with a painting or something," Abi whispers in his chest. "They won't be able to hurt you behind those."

* * *

Half the dishes are shattered, Abi notices.

"Do you want takeout?" Abi yells, sweeping all the broken dishes into the garbage. Phil jogs down the stairs in his pj pants, and stops halfway when he realizes that the house is somewhat neater than it was a few hours ago.

"Um, sure," he replies half-heartedly, slowly walking down the rest of the stairs. "Did you clean this place up by yourself?"

"I mean, you did take upstairs," Abi says modestly, giving him a small smile. Phil chuckles.

"She barely touched upstairs," he says, almost sadly. Abi looks at him for a brief second before nodding, looking down and grabbing the phone off the kitchen counter.

As she talks mindlessly with the Chinese delivery guy on the phone, she can't help but watch Phil pace around the lounge lifelessly. She hastily hangs up after ordering their regular meal, and softly places the phone back down on the counter.

"Phil?" Her voice prompts Phil to lift his head up and look at her. She sighs sympathetically, slowly walking to the lounge and sitting down, gently leading Phil beside her.

"Do you want to talk?" Abi asks quietly. Phil avoids eye contact.

"There's not much to talk about," Phil replies, trying to keep his voice levelled, as if he wasn't going to cry in front of her again. "I...I'm just feeling...things."

Abi blinks, confused for a split second, but says, "That's okay. I don't see why you wouldn't be."

"There's just so much that could've been different," Phil confesses, putting Abi's hands in his lap softly. "I should've just kept her out of our life. I know how I am with love; I'm not good at it."

He pauses and adds, "I should've just kept _you_ out of our life."

Abi stares at Phil, less hurt than confused. "Y-You...pardon?"

"I should've told Dan 'no'." Phil's voice is shaking. "He thought you were a game changer, and I should've just...I-I should've just called bullshit. It would've kept you out of this all, and you wouldn't be here and you would have a life you deserved."

"Phil, I would've been dead." Phil closes his eyes and sighs.

"You could've been dead here."

"But I'm not," Abi says, squeezing his hands softly. "Phil, that decision saved me. I would've had nothing if it wasn't for you guys."

Phil nods. Abi gently cups his cheek and faces him towards her.

"Phil, I love you," she whispers. "I wouldn't have had things any other way than they are right now."

He remains silent. Abi sighs, lowering her hand from Phil's face.

"Is there anything you'd like me to do?" Phil looks at her, and sighs.

"While I don't like guilt-tripping people," he says, "you know what I'd wish you would do."

Abi's smile suddenly fades.

"Phil," she says warningly. Phil shakes his head.

"Please see him, at least," Phil says. Abi sighs, letting her hands slip out of Phil's and stands up, leaving Phil on the couch alone.

"Abi," he calls after her. She walks to the kitchen, trying to ignore him. "Abi, you have to go see him eventually. I know it is hard, but—"

"But _what_ , Phil," Abi snaps. "I don't want to. End of conversation."

"Why don't you want to, Abi?" Phil's voice was bridging on the edge of desperation and frustration, and it frustrated Abi to a point which she felt nervous tears dribble down her cheeks. "You have to see him."

"I can't see someone else I love die," Abi finally says, turning around and facing Phil. "I know no one around me has, like, really died, but they all escaped. My mum died in the hands of someone who is dead to me. I can't see someone die, I-I just can't—"

"He's not dead," Phil says firmly, "but Abi, you don't know if he will be."

Abi stares at him, letting herself soak in the silence.

The doorbell rings, and Abi half-expects it to be him.

"Takeout," she whispers, backing up slowly and heading towards the stairs. "Help yourself."

She disappears upstairs for a split second and then comes back down; she's changed in clothes that she could wear outside and get stares, holding a tattered book in her hands. She slips flip-flops over her socks and pushes past a startled Phil and the delivery man.

* * *

" _'If there's ever comes a day where we can't be together'_ ," Abi whispers shakily, holding a pale hand in an empty hospital room, " _'keep me in your heart'_."

Abi wipes a tear from her cheek, watching as Dan's expression doesn't change, like it usually did when she read the story.

" _'I'll stay there forever',_ " Abi reads slowly, closing the book with the initials 'A.W' written on the front page of her old childhood book.

And when she closes it, she cries.

 _It's been a week_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reviews are lovely :)


	35. #RespectForThePhanabily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the hashtag is really the least of phil's worries right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i don't own dan or phil, nor do i own any social media references, music references, and whatever else you recognize. i do own my oc, abigail elizabeth woods :)
> 
> includes: sad, angsty hospitals visits  
> does not include: a reason why i have not been updating, despite “having a schedule” :P

_**Chapter 35: #RespectForThePhanabily** _

Phil convinces Abi to go to the hospital again the next day. They stop by Starbucks for three coffees—"You never know," Phil protests. Abi rolls her eyes—and they get on a bus to the hospital.

Abi stares out the window emotionlessly, watching as the city speeds past her. Watching how distracted she is, Phil taps her shoulder, which causes her to nearly drop the tray of coffee cups. She curses, looking at him sternly.

"Alright, we are going to have to get a cowbell on you," she grumbles. Phil smiles apologetically.

"I just wanted to know what you were thinking," Phil hums. "You seem distracted."

"I'm going to a hospital to see Dan in a coma," Abi says harshly, looping her free hand around a strap. "I think the distraction is valid."

"Hey, c'mere," Phil says softly, wrapping his arms around her waist, holding onto the handrail next to her hand. He lowers his head into her shoulder. Abi rolls her eyes, fighting off a smile.

"You're using your height to make me feel all...romance-y."

"I'm using my height to try and cheer you up," he corrects gently, and Abi finally smiles. Phil breaks out into a grin.

"Ah, there it is." Abi blushes. "I knew you would break eventually."

Abi nods, looking at the ground.

"What if this is it, Phil?" she whispers. Phil's smile drops.

"Don't say that," he replies quickly, but Abi shakes her head.

"Phil, it very well could be," she says, her voice nearly breaking. "It's been, what, a week? We don't even know what his injuries is, let alone if they are life-threatening."

"Exactly," Phil says in her shoulder. "We don't know what his injuries are — they might not be as bad as we think."

"But if they are?" Abi whispers. The bus slowly comes to a stop in front of the hospital. Phil takes her hand and lowers it from the strap, holding her hand to chest-level.

"We will be able to get through it," Phil says, squeezing her hand reassuringly. Abi smiles and nods, and the two walk off the bus hand-in-hand.

* * *

They go swiftly pass the receptionist's desk and towards Dan's room, before promptly being stopped by a doctor at the door. They exchange nervous glances as the doctor clears his throat.

"Um, are you two here for Mr. Howell?" They nod slowly. Abi watches the coffee tray in her hand shake, and Phil takes her free hand in attempts of calming her down.

The doctor looks down at his clipboard. "We have new information on Dan's condition."

Abi nods. "Yes?"

"Mr. Howell was shot in the right lung, resulting in his right lung to collapse; which explains why he was having trouble breathing at the scene. It also resulted in hydraulic failure — it caused enough internal bleeding so that blood pressure dropped low enough for a lack of oxygen to get to the brain."

"Did the surgery help with  _any of that?_ " Phil grits through his teeth, a mixture of frustration and fear settling in. Abi says nothing. The doctor is seemingly unfazed by his reaction, burying his face in the clipboard.

"The surgery was able to resolve all of these problems,"—Phil takes a sigh of relief—"but his body is still adjusting to his injury; hence the coma."

"Do you know how long he will be...asleep?" Abi asks, choosing her words carefully. The doctor sighs.

"We are not sure," he replies. "He is in stable condition, but we don't want to try and disturb his body's natural recovery cycle, as he could relapse any day now. He—"

"Can we see him?" Phil finally snaps, noticing Abi trembling. " _Please_."

The doctor blinks, and steps out of the way. Phil nods his gratitude, and leads Abi into the barely-lit room by the hand. She sets the coffee tray on the table and the first thing she hears is

_Beep!_

A steady line of that one sounds, looping every three seconds. Dan is lying down on the bed, his chest rising and settling slowly. Abi sighs, taking a cup of coffee and sipping it.

"I don't think he's going to drink his," she says icily. Phil sighs.

"Abi," he says warningly. Abi rolls her eyes, but she silently takes it back. Phil walks over to one side of the bed and brushes some of the hair from Dan's eyes.

"G'morning, Dan," Phil whispers. "You've been sleeping in for, like, a week now. It's actually not that different from before, if I think about it…"

"Phiiiil," Abi whines, letting out a giggle.

"What?" Phil protests. "He might think it's funny enough for him to give me a solid reaction."

"His reaction would've been a punch in the arm," Abi retorts, putting her cup on the table once more and walking over to stand alongside Phil. He rolls his eyes, and Abi looks at Dan with a sigh.

"I wonder if it's true."

"If what's true?"

"That he could hear us," Abi replies, keeping her stare at Dan's still face. "They say that people in comas can hear you talk to them. Do you think it's true?"

She faces Phil, waiting for a response. Phil looks at her and sighs.

"Did you hear?"

"What?" she asks, confused.

"Did you hear us when we were talking to you?" he asks again. She frowns.

"I'm not too sure?" she replies. She looks back down at Dan. "I like to think I did."

"I like to think you did too," Phil concludes. "I like to think anyone can hear. It may not be, like, scientifically proven or anything; but it's just reassuring, if not therapeutic."

Abi looks at him again and smiles. "Well I hope he can hear you. He deserves to hear someone wonderful."

Phil playfully taps Abi's shoulder and mockingly gushes, "Oh stop it, you."

They exchange a laugh, and as they continue to stand there, a nurse walks in.

"Mr. Lester and Ms. Woods?" They turn around.

"Yes?" Phil answers on behalf of both of them.

"There are two people in the front lobby for you," she informs. "Do you know a Mr. Liguori and a Mr. Kendell?"

* * *

As expected, PJ and Chris and are in the front lobby when Phil and Abi make it there. They are chatting about a seemingly sensitive subject; perhaps something revolved around the fact that PJ was staring at Chris' phone, clearly bothered by something.

"PJ? Chris?" Abi asks, surprised. "W-What...what are you guys doing he—"

"Abi," Chris manages to say, running to her and giving her a big hug. Abi could feel nervous tears on the back of her shirt and she hugs back, giving Chris a big squeeze.

"B-bug," PJ says softly, and ruffles Abi's hair when she pulls back from Chris. She sniffles, wrapping him in a hug as well. PJ, slightly surprised, returns the hug.

"It's so good to see you guys," Phil says. "It's been a long couple of days, and I know it must be very confusing, but—"

"We know what happened," PJ cuts him off. "Phil, #RespectForThePhanabily has been trending since yesterday night."

" _What?"_ Abi exclaims, shocked. Chris nods.

"Yeah, the story is everywhere," Chris says. "I guess someone found out about it, because it's all over Twitter and Instagram — bloody hell, even  _Google Plus_."

"Who on Earth uses Google Plus?" Abi mutters.

"Oh my God, this is too much," Phil whispers, panic slowly rising. "This can't happen. Dan can't wake up to this, they've gone too far, the—"

"Phil, calm down," Abi says gently. "Everyone is doing this out of their best intentions. And from what I am reading on Chris' phone, there's this whole community of people who support you."

" ' _Praying for Dan, Phil, and Abi (and fuck, Striker too) — in times like this, we have to stand together for the privacy and respect the YouTube community #RespectForThePhanabily';_ damn, Jack Howard — your sincerity can't be 140 characters," Chris says, reading the tweet from his phone.

" ' _Wishing the phanabily a safe recovery from such a horrible circumstance. #RespectForThePhanabily' —_ aww, that one's from Dodie!" Abi says, taking a peek at Chris' phone.

"There's one from Louise—who's called about ten times asking for you guys and what to feed Striker so bloody hell, call her back—and there's one from Dean, Tom, Carrie, Jamie...they all really care about you," PJ notes.

"And it's not just them, Phil!" Abi says. "Phil, the phandom is probably the number one fandom on Tumblr right now. There are tweets and letters and posts and they're all dedicated to not only standing alongside us and wishing Dan a good recovery, but even apologizing for the address leak."

"These people care, Phil," PJ says softly, patting Phil's back. "I know this isn't the way you'd like it to come out, but let them care."

"Dan would like that," Abi adds quietly, and Phil looks at her.

"He probably would." He pulls out his phone. "Should I tweet my gratitude now or later?"

"If you want to, but it can be short and sweet, hun," Abi says, rubbing circles in his back. "You don't have to do anything if you don't feel ready yet."

"Just relax a little, Phil," Chris reassures him, "everything is going to be fine."

Just then, the doctor comes running into the lobby. Everyone around them was very concerned at his haste. The four exchanged nervous looks.

"Mr. Lester? Ms. Woods?" The doctor frantically goes to them. "Goodness, I thought you have left. I am glad I caught you — it's about Dan."

Abi's heart drops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reviews are rad :)


	36. Lifeboat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In the tiniest lifeboat...with people I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i don't own dan or phil, nor do i own any social media references, music references, and whatever else you recognize. i do own my oc, abigail elizabeth woods :)
> 
> includes: unrealistic medical stuff, painkillers, heathers references bby, and there should be more phan in th— aWWW
> 
> does not include: a reason why i have not been updating, despite "having a schedule" (still) :P

_**Chapter 36: Lifeboat.** _

" _Storms are approaching, there's nowhere to hide."_

Abi is the first one through the doors.

"Let me in!" she screams, pushing through all the nurses and doctors that flooded the room. "Back off and  _let me through!_ "

The doctor tries to grab Abi's wrist, but she pulls away harshly. PJ, Phil, and Chris trail behind her, but they stop when she reaches the edge of the bed.

They're covering Dan with a blanket.

"Oh my God…" Phil's hand is on his mouth, trembling slowly. PJ looks at the doctor.

"What the hell happened?!" he yells unexpectedly, and Chris places a hand on his shoulder in attempts of calming him down. The doctor shakes his head nervously.

"W-We don't know," he stammers. "The heart monitor...t-the line went flat."

" _That doesn't mean he's fucking dead!"_ Abi screams again. "Do something! He's not dead! He's not  _fucking_ dead!"

"His body shut down, Ms. Woods," the doctor said, trying to get her to be quiet. "There's nothing we can do."

"Abi," Phil says warningly, his voice shaking. "We can't be here. We have to leave."

Phil grabs Abi's wrist, but as soon as he makes contact she pulls away harshly. Phil's eyes widen. She slaps one of the nurse's hands off the edge of the blanket, and before they could pull it over Dan completely, she pulls it back down.

"Abi!" Chris exclaims, trying to pull her back by her shoulder. She shrugs him off strongly, and then grabs Dan's cold hand.

"You're not fucking dead, hear me?!" she screams, her voice echoing through the hall. Someone must've called security because policemen began to flood the room. "You are not going to  _fucking_ die on me, because  _I love you!"_

…

Abi sobs loudly, her head falling on Dan's chest. The room is silent—even security slowly reel away from her as if she was a flame—and Phil stands there, a hand on her shoulder.

"Y-You're not dead," she stammers, voice cracking. "You're...y-you can't be…"

"Abi—"

_Beep._

* * *

Needless to say, they are  _very_  mad at the doctor after that.

Before any of them can see what happened after that, security calmly escorts them out until the situation is deemed "under control." Abi watches as nurses and doctors surround Dan and the steadily-beeping heart monitor, listening to them murmur about what could've happened, and what was going to happen next.

When they're outside, they remain silent until Chris says, "You have some temper, Abi."

PJ stifles his laugh in the palm of his hand, and Phil punches his arm. Abi doesn't respond, holding her arm and staring at the ground. Phil looks at Abi and frowns.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

"Fine," she answers, almost numbly. Phil sighs, gently grabbing her arm.

"Hey, talk to me," he says softly. She pulls back.

"Too much," she whispers. "Can...can I leave?"

"Of course," he says immediately. "Do...do you want company?"

"You should stay here," she mumbles, looking down. "You should be here when he wakes up."

"Abi—"

"I like to think they can hear, alright?" she cuts him off. "I like to think he heard, and I don't want to find out I am right."

Phil remains silent. PJ clears his throat.

"We can go with you," he proposes. "Um, go grab some coffee or something. I feel like we're gonna be here for a while anyway."

"I could go for a caramel macchiato," Chris hums. Abi gulps.

"Sure," she manages to get out. She faces Phil and adds, "Will you be alright?"

Phil nods and echoes, "Sure."

Abi stares at him and watches the life almost drain from his eyes in the moment. She opens her mouth to say something else, but PJ grabs her wrist gently and she turns around.

"We should go," he says quietly. She faces Phil once more, but he's already turned away. She turns back at PJ and nods, walking quietly away.

When he made sure that they were out of sight, Phil Lester collapses on the ground, his fists pounding against the floor, and he lets out the sob he has been keeping in.

He couldn't care less if anyone was watching, or if they were thinking he was overreacting.

He couldn't care less if Dan walked towards him and just screamed at him.

He couldn't care less if he was the one in that bed instead.

" _ **Still, the weakest must go."**_

* * *

He's allowed to go back in about an hour after it happens. He makes sure he gives the doctor the dirtiest glare, and he slowly re-enters the room.

It's much quieter now that the chaos has died down, but the echoes of screaming in his mind were slowly drowned out by the steady beep of the monitor.

No one told Phil what actually happened — nothing useful, at least. It had something to do with a malfunction or something along those lines; he didn't pay much attention.

Dan is paler than he was before.

His chest rises slowly, but a little more frequently, which calms Phil down a little more as well. His hair is curly from never being washed, and a strand of hair hangs over his left eye.

Phil brushes it off quietly, careful not to make a sound, but the movement causes Dan to moan softly. He pulls his hand back. When he blinks, Dan's eyes are barely open, and Phil covers his mouth. He promised himself he wouldn't cry this time, but he does anyway.

"I-I'm so sorry," he sobs in Dan's chest, the blanket catching his tears. Dan's breath hitches.

"Phil?" He continues to cry upon hearing his name.

"I am sorry," he says again, his voice breaking. "It's my fault. It shouldn't be you, it should be  _me._ It should be in this bed, and it should be me who  _died._ "

When Phil lifts his head off the blanket and stares at Dan, he can see the nervous tears dribbling down Dan's cheeks.

"Don't say that, Phil," he whispers in a scratchy voice. "It's not your fault."

"But it is!" Phil exclaims, almost angrily. "I let her in our life. I didn't need to a-and— God, I fucking started this all!"

He's panicking now, his heart racing and his brain pounding against his skull. Dan's merely a blur behind his tears, but all it took was Dan's hand in his to help his vision clear.

"Hey, take a breath, you spork."

Phil lets out a broken laugh, and squeezes Dan's hand tightly.

"I am so glad you're alive," he whispers. Dan nods.

"I...I am too," he says quietly. "It was really weird to be dead."

"You weren't dead." It almost comes out as a dumbfounded statement, when in reality, Phil didn't know if he was. Dan looks away from him.

"Sorry," he says apologetically. Phil shakes his head.

"No, it's fine," he replies. "I know what you mean. I mean, I think I do."

Dan nods, still avoiding his glance.

"How are you though?" Phil asks quietly. "And don't give me any of that sarcastic crap; I'm being serious."

Dan smiles. "I'm fine. A bit drugged up, but still fine."

"I can tell," Phil giggles softly. "You have that weird glint in your eyes like last time you were on morphine."

"Ugh, do I actually?" Dan lets out a scratchy laugh. "God, it has been a while since I've been in a hospital bed and have had the gift of drugs."

"When was that?" Phil says, trying to engage in conversation as well. "2012?"

"2010," Dan replies. Phil gives him a smile small.

"That's mental," Phil says softly. "That was, like...seven years ago."

"Seven years?" Dan echoes.

"Seven years," Phil says again, nodding. "I remember being there with you."

"And the cast of  _Shameless,_ " Dan chuckles. Phil's smile grows.

"I remember that video," Phil says, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "You were funny back then."

"Back then?" Dan asks, putting a hand on his heart mockingly. "Geez, Phil, you're gonna kill me."

"Shut up," Phil giggles. "You're just as funny now, considering you have me in half your videos now too."

"And more views," Dan jokes, "so…"

"Oh my God." Phil is laughing now; leave it to Dan to cheer him up at such a time. "You're funnier when you're on drugs."

"Maybe I need to order some more morphine," Dan replies, "or go to that one guy down the alleyway across from that 7-Eleven."

Phil stifles his laugh in the palm of his hand, nudging Dan softly.

"Don't joke about that!" he exclaims. "Security's been wandering everywhere in this damn place, and I don't think we are on their friendly side."

Dan rolls his eyes. Their giggles die down after a while, and after a moment of silence, Phil squeezes Dan's hand again.

"Are you okay though?" he asks quietly.

"I already told you that I'm fine," Dan replies.

"That's not what I meant and you know that." Dan sighs.

"Well, for someone who just ran a marathon and got shot in the end, I am doing alright," he admitted. "The whole thing has had me kind of shaken, but I...I think I'll adjust."

"Good," Phil says. "I mean, you don't have to be okay right away. I just want you to know that it's all going to be alright."

"Thank you," Dan says, squeezing his hand back. He pauses and nervously adds, "How many people know?"

"#RespectForThePhanabily has been trending on Twitter for quite some time now," Phil answers, sighing. "Don't freak out, alright? I am sorry the story got out — I'm not sure how it became such a big deal, but I really did try to keep it under control."

"No, it's fine," Dan reassures him. "I figured that after the whole address-leak, it would be easier for the fans to figure out this happened too. And that hashtag...it's cute."

"Yeah, they've been taking it really well," Phil says. "There has just been waves of support — they're even apologizing for the address-leak and things are actually getting a lot better on that front."

"Really?"

"Not everyone in the phandom are stalkers, I suppose," he says, not intending for it to sound so harsh. Dan seems to pick up on it.

"Phil, it wasn't your fault," he says again. "Please don't blame yourself for all of this."

"Dan—"

"Remember what you told me in 2009?" he cut him off. "You told me that all will be okay. When I dropped out of uni, I said that it was because I was a dumb idiot, and you just told me that I am redundant  _and okay._  Anything bad that happens to us will never be your fault, Phil. And if it ever is, I know you have the best intentions. You are going to get through all of this, and  _it will all be okay._ "

Phil looks at him in a dumbfounded silence.

"I am floating on this lifeboat," he whispers. "One wrong move and I'll be pushed off, Dan. I've done so much to hurt you, to hurt Abi, and...and I don't know if it will ever be the same again."

Dan watches as Phil's hand trembles in his grasp.

" _I_ was the one who fucked it all up," he grits out, almost frustrated. "It was  _me_ who let her in. It was  _me_ who stood with her all this time, and it was  _me_ who didn't say anything. How can it all be okay after this?"

"Because it has been so far, Phil," Dan says softly, rubbing Phil's hand with his thumb. He watches Phil's angered expression soften into a sadder one.

"But what if this is it, Dan?"

Dan hesitates before answering.

"You're my lifeboat, Phil," he says. "Without you, none of this would be here. I'm okay. It's all going to be okay.  _I promise."_

And for the umpeenth time that day, Phil collapses on Dan's chest in sobs, and Dan can't help but cry with him.

"I love you," Phil mumbles, his voice broken. Dan nods.

"I love you too."

* * *

When Abi returns a few hours later with Chris and PJ trailing behind her, she stops at the door to see Phil slumped over Dan's bed, the two hand-in-hand and sleeping soundly.

"You think they made out?" Chris jokes. PJ punches him in the arm, and Abi smiles softly, not saying a word.

And when the anxiety of having to talk to Dan creeps in, she pushes it down by slowly backing out and closing the door — she can do that eventually.

Dan looked like he deserved someone who can make him feel better at the moment,

and she knew she couldn't give him that.

PJ must've realized Abi's sullen expression when they got out because he rests his hand gently on her shoulder.

"Let's go get some takeout for them when they wake up, yeah?" he asks. Abi looks at the door one last time and nods.

"Sure," she says, and she goes ahead of the two, hands in her pocket.

" **In the tiniest lifeboat...with people I know."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reviews are totally rad, dude :)


	37. Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here's to second chances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i don't own dan or phil, nor do i own any social media references, music references, and whatever else you recognize. i do own my oc, abigail elizabeth woods :)
> 
> includes: time-skips, explanations, reconnection, realization, and (finally) a reason why i haven't been updating — i have depression! so that's...fun! but i'm okay now! i think! for now, at least!
> 
> (also: this is all fictional. i'm not assuming anything about dan or phil and their personal lives, and frankly, i never will. cool cool.)

_**Chapter 37: Chances.** _

_The screen flickers to life and a bright, celebratory noise echoes in the background._

" _Hello, internet!" Dan says, giving the camera his signature salute. Abi giggles beside him, and Phil beams brightly, and says a beat after, "Hey guys!"_

_The two look at Abi, and a cricket noise-effect plays. She smiles nervously._

" _What?" she says. "You guys are looking at me like creeps."_

" _Are you going to say your intro?" Phil asks. Abi rolls her eyes._

" _Did I have one?" she replies._

" _Barely," Dan chuckles, "you basically copied ours."_

" _Hey!" Abi playfully punches Dan in the arm. "Sod off! I'll have you know that if anything, I made both of your intros better."_

" _Okay, Abi says 'hey internet!'," Phil says an octave higher. Abi glares at him._

" _I don't sound like that!" she protests._

" _I don't sound like that!" Phil mocks back._

" _Oh for fuck's sa—"_

_A tv glitch effect plays before Dan could finish his sentence. It then cuts to the three of them stifling their laughter as Dan begins to speak once more._

" _So I imagine are all like,"—the camera zooms in closer, and the screen is tinted with a faded, yet raging, fire—" 'where have Dan and Phil been?!' "_

" _You're so dramatic," Abi mutters. The flames die out immediately. Phil looks at her incredulously._

" _Have you seen Tumblr?" he retorts. Abi opens her mouth, as if ready to argue, but closes it._

" _Touché," she says pensively._

" _Anyway, the short answer is…well…"_

_Dan trails off, and hesitantly looks at Phil and Abi. Phil clears his throat._

" _The short answer's not enough," he chuckles halfheartedly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Everything has been really confusing right now, but we just wanted to clear some things up."_

" _First of all," Abi says, "we are so thankful for everyone's support. I know my small Tumblr fanbase has been really nice, but let's be honest, these internet dweebs have the kindest followers out there."_

_Dan giggles softly, and proceeds to add, "It's true. Sure the whole 'address leak' was a bit of a stumble, but I know there are so many of you who handled it so well."_

" _It's been a crazy last few months," Phil continues. "We are so sorry for our inactivity nowadays, but as you are probably all aware, a lot of things happened that eventually led Dan to the hospital."_

_Dan gives a shy smile. "Yeah, that happened. That was weird, to say the least."_

" _And it wasn't for his 'wittle baby tummy aches," Abi says, her voice dropping into a sappy voice. Dan laughs, pointing at Abi and mumbling, "Shut up!" through giggles._

" _No, it was because, believe it or not, I actually got shot," Dan says, and Phil fakes a gasp. A dramatic sound effect rings in the background, and Abi, looking at Phil, realizes that she has to join in the dramatization as well. She puts a hand to her forehead and lets out a high-pitched moan, and Phil breaks out of character, dissolving in a fit of giggles. Abi's hand falls on her laps and she laughs as well, Dan soon joining in._

" _Oh come o—"_

_A tv glitch effect plays once more. It cuts to Dan, Abi, and Phil all smiling while Dan continues his explanation._

" _But yeah, I got shot," Dan says once more. "The details aren't very important — all you need to know is that it was less badass, and my God it hurt like a bitch."_

" _Dan," Abi whines. "Seriously."_

" _There's no serious videos on my channel," Dan retorts. Abi smiles, but it's merely a façade for the camera. Dan sighs._

" _It was...scary," he says slowly. "In a nutshell, it was kind of a horrible, horrible fan experience."_

" _Which leads us to this; respect." Phil straightens up, in his seat. "#RespectForThePhanabily has been trending for quite some time, which is absolutely mind-blowing, but it is also a lesson."_

" _Respect is not only victims," Abi continues, "but is for anyone."_

" _What happened in the last month or so should never happen to any creator on this platform again, and moreso, should never happen to anyone period," Dan says._

_The three sit in a silence that was cut to about two seconds. A jump-cut later, Phil smiles brightly at the camera._

" _If you should take anything away from this," he says, "just please remember how human everyone is. It doesn't matter if they stand high on a platform seemingly above you, or if they're just your everyday Tumblr user — they're human."_

" _Once again, thank you for everyone being so chill," Abi says. "Things should start getting back to normal soon — a few things have to be settled beforehand, but if all goes to plan, me and these dorks will be back on the internet were we apparently belong._

_"That's right," Dan says with a smile. "Abi will be back in black making my dumb music reviews and me and Ph— Phil and I will...I dunno, continue to yell at each other on the gaming channel."_

" _And…," Phil trails off momentarily, before finishing, "Tell people you care about that you love them."_

_He looks at the camera and says with a tired smile, "You never know when it could be your last chance."_

_The screen cuts to black._

…

l  _Processing 100%_ l  


 **Respect.** _(6:02)  
_ Daniel Howell (youtube danisnotonfire).

_Publish?_

Dan mouse hovers over the blue button for a few seconds, before tentatively clicking it. Seconds later, he opens a new tab to his channel, and smiles at the new thumbnail on the homepage. His phone buzzes twice on his bed, and the notifications show Abi's Tumblr URL and Phil's Twitter. He smiles to himself as he hears footsteps going up the stairs.

His bedroom door flies open, and Striker trots in and hops onto his bed. He chuckles, patting his head gently and looking up to see Phil and Abi walk in, going to his bed and enveloping him in a hug.

"This is the beginning," Abi says in their embrace. "This is where everything changes."

"Here's to second chances," Phil murmurs with a sleepy smile.

Dan is about to speak when he hears his phone buzz once more. He sneaks a glance at his bedside table where his phone was, and his smile fades.

 **mum  
** can you call me, love? xx |  _seconds ago._

* * *

"What do you mean you don't want to call her?" Abi asks as she places Dan's plate in front of him, and hers across from his. Phil wordlessly pokes at his food with his fork, and Striker is wandering under the table.

When Abi takes a seat in front of him, Dan sighs, "It's not a big deal, Abi."

"Dan, it's been almost two months since you've been in the hospital," Abi points out, "and your parents didn't even come here to check on you after all of this."

"My parents have always been like that," Dan says nonchalantly with a mouth-full of food. He swallows, and adds, "They have bigger issues to worry about. Like their jobs. Or my grandma. Or Adrian."

"You're their  _son_ ," Abi grits out, almost angrily. "You were  _shot_  for fuck's sake. And you don't even care that they...don't?"

"Abi…," Dan trails off. Abi feels her stomach twisting in knots. She curls her hand into a fist under the table. Phil glances at Dan.

"You seemed much more angry about their absence in the hospital," he points out quietly. Dan glares at him sharply, and Abi's eyes widen.

"They didn't even  _visit_  you?!" she exclaims, standing up. Dan closes his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"That's not what he said," Dan argues half-heartedly. Abi looks at him accusingly.

"Alright," she says, "did they visit you?"

Dan stares her down for a few more seconds, before slumping in his chair with crossed arms. Abi's head falls back.

"Unbelievable," she growls. "Dan, if you aren't going to talk to your mum,  _I will._ "

"Why does this not bother you?" Phil asks softly. Dan looks at him with a sigh.

"You know why," Dan mumbles.

"But that was years ago," Phil protests gently. "I thought you and your parents were okay now."

"What happened with your parents?" Dan shrugs, avoiding eye-contact with everyone.

"My parents and I haven't always been on best terms," he admits. "Even when I was in the hospital after the whole bullying-incident, they visited me once to say that I should 'be more careful.' I think that's when I started to...resent them."

"I'm going to fucking kill them," Abi murmurs. "How did I not know about this before?"

"It wasn't a big deal," Dan mutters. "They gave me shelter, food, clothes — all the works. That's all they really had to do, and that's fine. I live on my own now, and I can take care of myself without them worrying about me. It's just how it is."

Abi glares at Phil, who is staring at his plate wordlessly.

"And you're okay with this?!" She points to Dan, who digs his fork in his food. Phil sighs.

"Of course I'm not," Phil replies. "I have known about Dan's family forever and he's unfortunately right — that's how it has always been."

He looks at Dan and adds, "But that doesn't make it right."

"Thank you," Abi huffs, flopping back into her chair. Striker walks around to Dan and stands up, his two front paws on he side of the chair. He stares at Dan, his head tilting to the side, and Dan groans.

"Fine," he huffs. "I'll call her."

"You have to clear things up with her," Abi says. "Please tell me that you'll say whatever you feel, alright?"

Dan stares at his food and can almost imagine the coming conversation. He closes his eyes and nods wordlessly.

* * *

Dan excuses himself to his room after lunch and stares at his phone. He knows that he'll have to call eventually—it was only a matter of minutes before his mum decides to call instead—so he saves himself the potential argument and dials his mum.

She picks up on the first ring, and the first thing Dan hears is her sobbing,  _"Oh, Daniel."_

Dan falls back-first onto his bed. He puts a hand under his head and sighs.

"Mum," he greets quietly, hoping that Abi or Phil were far enough to not be able to hear what was about to happen.

" _Your father and I have been worried sick!"_ she exclaims.  _"Honey, what happened? All we know is that there was an accident with Abi…"_

Dan rubs the bridge of his nose. "That was last year, mum."

Silence.

" _...oh that's right."_  She clears her throat.  _"Apologies, dear, but I'm afraid you'll have to fill me in."_

"That isn't my job, mum," he grits out, letting bits of his frustration slip out. "Are you seriously tell me that everything that has happened this year just...doesn't exist to you?"

" _Now Daniel, that's not true."_

"Stop calling me Daniel, mum," Dan snaps. "Has it occurred to you that I was in the hospital? That I got  _shot_ by a stalker who leaked our address and almost killed Phil and Abi  _and me?!_ "

" _Danie—"_

"Oh, that's right," Dan mocks, "I haven't gotten a single call from you in  _years._  Every attempt I put forth is pretty much directed to your  _voicemail."_

Dan is panting now from the sudden rush of anger, and he desperately tries to fight off tears.

" _Daniel...I'm sorry,"_ his mum says quietly,  _"but are you mad?"_

Dan's breath hitches, and Phil's comment earlier echoes in his mind.

" **You seemed much more angry about their absence in the hospital."**

"I was furious," Dan admits softly. "You, dad; hell, even Adrain — none of you were there. I get that you have your own lives and everything, and we have never been a tight-knit family but...but I expected that we're at least family, no?"

His mum remains silent. He sighs.

"Remember when those bullies back in high school?" Dan asks. "The first thing you said on your only visit to the hospital was that I should take care of myself. So I am, alright? I have been doing so for years now. Why do you care now?"

" _Because we almost lost you, Daniel,"_ his mum whispers, her voice thick with sobs.  _"I was talking to your father last night and then it hit me...that we already lost you."_

Dan says nothing. His mum continues.

" _I couldn't believe that it took an explanation video and, for God's sake, a hashtag for me to know that I still had you here. Alive._

" _I know that it's long overdue, but we're sorry, Dani— Dan. I know that we wrong to think you could survive off basic necessities alone, because no one deserves to be alone for as long as you did."_

Dan remains speechless. He could hear his mum sigh on the other side.

" _We can make things better, okay?"_ his mum asks.  _"We'll try harder to understand, or to at least be there. Is that...is that okay with you?"_

"Of course it is." Dan moves to sit at the edge of his bed. "Mum...all I needed to know is that you were here. I...I miss everyone. I miss dad, you, Adrian,  _home_ …"

" _You're already home, Dan,"_ his mum says.  _"You know what they say about home."_

"Yeah, I know," Dan chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Look, mum, I would love to stay and chat, but I have to get some stuff ready for the trial."

" _Could we attend?"_ his mum asks, the nerves echoing right back at him. Dan looks down and sighs.

"If you'd like," Dan answers hesitantly.

" _We'll be there then,"_ his mum says, almost relieved.  _"And Daniel?"_

"Mum, it's Da— oh, it doesn't matter." He smiles tiredly. "Yes?"

" _You've been given a second chance,"_ she says after seconds of silence.  _"You've been given something that not many people have been able to get. Hold it close and never let it go. While you still can. Alright?"_

Dan blinks, before staring at his door and imagining the one chance he'd want. Flashes of memories surround him; Harry, the car accident, nearly moving out, her dad,  _her._

"I will," he says, a new sense of confidence blossoming in him. "Thank you, mum."

Later that night, Dan quietly opens the door and goes back into the quiet house. He leaves his keys on the table near the entrance, and after closing the door behind him, he turns around to see Abi standing right in front of him.

"Where the  _hell_ have you been?!" she nearly yells. Dan jumps.

"Jesus Christ, Abi," he says, his back against the door. "Give a man a warning, won't you?"

"I'm the one who has to give a warning?" Abi asks incredulously. "Dan, it's nearly nine o'clock! It's dark out and you went out without your phone. It's been hours since you left — Phil was going to call the cops, you know!"

"Relax," Dan says, digging his hands in the pockets of his sweater. "I'm fine, alright? I'll bring my phone next time, geez."

Before he could go past Abi and to his room, she grabs his wrist. Dan visibly tenses, letting go of what was in his hand before Abi could pull it out and take it into her own.

"Dan, I don't want to lose you again, alright?" Abi says softly. "What were you doing out so late anyway? Phil said you went shopping or something?"

Dan places his other hand on top of hers.

"I'm taking a chance," he says. Abi looks at him, confused, and he flashes her a small smile.

"Let's have dinner together, alright?" he proposes. "After the trial and everything, just the two of us."

"Sure," Abi giggles quietly, her worries dying out. "Get some rest, alright?"

"Of course," Dan says, and after kicking off his shoes, quickly goes up to his room. He calls out behind him, "Goodnight!"

"Goodnight." Abi's soft reply is the last thing he hears before closing his bedroom door. He leans against it with an almost dreamy look on his face, and takes out the small, black box from his jacket pocket.

He holds it up to his eye and smiles, knowing that what sparkled inside was his chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reviews = cool, dude


	38. Dreams and Ideas Should Not Be The Same Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you waited, smiling for this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i don’t own dan or phil, nor do i own any social media references, music references, and whatever else you recognize. i do own my oc, abigail elizabeth woods :)
> 
> includes: a trial, a blast from the plast, me trying to patch up two-dimensional issues in the previous chapters (you’ll know what i’m talking about eventually), reasons why rosa’s real bitch, and dodie lyrics (that apply twice in this chapter eheheheh extra bonus points if anyone can spot the link between the story and dodie’s master song-writing ;D)
> 
> (also includes an apology for not updating — turns out i totally wasn’t okay, and that depression is the real bitch.)
> 
> enjoy! 
> 
> side note: i know nothing about trials and law and stuff. i’m just making stuff up, lol. i know zilch.

_**Chapter 38: Dreams And Ideas Should Not Be The Same Thing** _

The trial comes too soon for Dan's liking, and as he adjusts his tie, he soon realizes how  _real_ that velvet box was.

Hidden away in his closet, he was used to dismissing the possibility of proposing to Abi as a mere fantasy. However, as time passed, Dan becomes aware of everything that velvet box represented.

He was giving his life to someone else,  
and of all people, he was giving it to  _Abi._

The idea didn't seem so big when he bought the ring, he now realizes. But it affects not only Abi, but  _everyone he knew._ His parents barely know that he fancied Abi, hell, he didn't even know if Abi fancied him, and— oh God,  _would Phil be alone?_

The thought sent chills down his spine. How much would change?  _How much was he willing to change?_

" **You've been given a second chance."**

He has, hasn't he? He stares at the mirror, watching how his foot  _tap tap tap_  on the ground, and how his fingers lazily fiddle with the end of his tie.

If he has been given a second chance,  
why doesn't he want to take it?

" **You've been given something that not many people have been able to get."**

There is too much at stake, he decides. There's too much "what if" for him to ever consider passing up another chance. He nearly lost her before, and he nearly lost everything altogether.

Who's to say it can't happen again?  
Who's to say it  _won't?_

" **Hold it close and never let it go. While you still can."**

He is beginning to think he isn't afraid of the trial,

but afraid of everything that comes after.

His mind is blurred with fear. Fear that he might never live to see another day. Fear that he might have to live a world that  _she's_ not in. Fear that he could get everything he ever wanted and fear that it could all be taken away in a split second.

He can't lose everything.  
Not again.

" **Alright?"**

' _Alright,'_  he decides, glancing at his open closet. ' _I will.'_

There's a knock at the door. He turns away from his mirror, and his silence is taken as an invitation. The door swings open, and Phil is standing there in an open blazer, dress pants, glasses, and a yellow tie.

"You okay?" he asks.

Dan's eyes fall on the yellow tie  _(leave it to Phil to make even a trial a party)_ and nods.

"Yeah," he says,  _the image of a velvet box and happy tears flashing in his mind._  He smiles, and more confidently; "Of course."

* * *

Dan isn't sure when they hired a limo, but he gets in without complaint. Abi is the last to get in, her hair a bit frazzled and her glasses askew. Phil looks at her, concerned.

"Everything alright?" he asks. Dan looks down to see that her hand is holding her phone, and it's shaking.

"The  _stupid_  lawyer," Abi whispers. "You'd think that since I paid the guy for doing nothing, he would agree to return and actually...do something."

Her voice is bridging on the edge of frustration, and Phil places her hand on her clenched fists.

"Hey, it's alright." His voice is oddly calm, Dan thinks. "It's going to be okay."

"So he's not coming at all?" Dan asks. He scoffs, leaning back in his chair and adding, "What a dick."

"He is sending someone else from his attorney team, or whatever he said," Abi grumbles. "Something-something Malten, I think."

Dan blinks, a bit startled by the name.

" _They were dickheads, don't get me wrong,  
__but no one ever...did anything about it._

" _Except me."_

"Remind you of any famous lawyer or something?" Abi asks; "Because if it isn't some Atticus Finch or something, I am not paying that guy a  _cent._ "

The car begins to move. Phil is telling Abi something about how he was pretty sure that wasn't how hiring lawyers worked, but Dan couldn't hear them. His stomach flipped at the name.

_Malten._

He rolls the window down and shakily breathes in the cool air.

* * *

Phil is the first to notice.

"You alright, Dan?" he asks as they climb out of the limo. Dan looks at him blankly, freezing halfway out of the limo.

"What?"

"You look like you're doing some deep thinking or something," he explains. "If you're nervous or something, then that's totally fine. You just need to give a testimony or something and—"

"No, I'm fine," Dan cuts him off briskly, climbing out of the limo and closing the door. He pauses, and hesitantly admits, "It's just the name of that lawyer dude. Richerson. It sounds...familiar."

_They bullied me constantly before, one day,  
they went too far._

"Do you think it's an old classmate?" Phil frowns, and nervously adds, "Do you reckon it's from...from a username?"

"No, definitely not," Dan says reassuringly. "It's probably just some weird coincidence. It's fine."

Phil tentatively nods, and leads Dan to the entrance of the building.

"Abi went inside to meet with the lawyer," Phil explains, opening the door for Dan. "I think she's a little pissed, if how she acted in the car didn't give it away. I honestly don't think the lawyer guy will have to do much — we have a pretty strong case."

"That's not how law works, you spork," Dan says, laughing to mask his sudden nerves.

"Still," Phil says, "I don't think this is a trial for fighting, but a trial for the confirmation of  _justice!_ "

He pumps his fist in the air playfully, and Dan rolls his eyes. They turn a corner after going through security, following the voice of Abi.

"Okay, well I trust you to do the job," they hear Abi say, followed by hums of affirmation. "Everything you need to know is in the files and— oh my God, did he at least  _tell_  you what you are doing today?"

" **Of course he did."**

Phil keeps walking towards Abi and the lawyer, who are coming into view, but Dan freezes in his spot upon hearing  _that voice_.

" _I don't know how I survived."_

"Phil!  _Dan!_ Over here!" It was too late for Dan to bolt the other way. Abi has already seen him, and the lawyer is staring at him as well as he shakes Phil's hand.

Abi walks towards Dan and leads him to the lawyer.

"This is Mr. Neville Malten," she says, "and he is our lawyer for this case."

The lawyer stares at Dan, almost surprised.

"Daniel?" he asks. "Daniel...Daniel Howell?"

"Do you guys know each other or something?" Dan can't hear Phil speak. His heart begins to race.

Abi is hissing at Phil, saying something along the lines of how " _of course_ he knew who Dan was" but everything begins to spin.

"Holy crap," Neville murmurs. "I—"

Dan doesn't let him finish. He bolts past Phil, Abi, and  _him_  and into the courtroom, deciding it would be better to be in there early than  _to not be there at all._

' _this is a sick joke,  
__**this is a sick dream;**_

 _this is sick,  
__**I am going to be sick.**_ '

* * *

Fifteen minutes pass before people start to flood in. The jury take their seats along the side of the room. Martyn, Cornelia, and Phil's parents rush in, briefly saying hello to Dan before taking their seats, and much to Dan's relief, his parents and Adrian show up as well.

Phil, Abi, and Neville eventually arrive at their table alongside Dan. Neville sits farthest from Dan.

"Are you okay?" Phil asks, taking a seat next to him. Dan watches Abi sit beside Neville, taking nervous glances at him every now and then. Dan sighs.

"No," he whispers shakily. "That's  _him._ "

"Who, Neville?" Phil glances at Neville, who is winking at Abi. She is trying to ignore him, murmuring under her breath, "Save your sweet-talking for the judge, Jesus Christ."

"High school," he stammers. "He was one of the people who...who…"

He trails off, not being able to finish. Phil's eyes widen, and he glares at Neville once more, who is now tapping on the desk and sneaking glances at Dan. He turns back to Dan.

"Wait, he—"

"The one with the knife," Dan finishes loudly. Phil looks at him, shocked. Neville visibly stiffens, and Abi looks at Dan, confused.

"Is everything okay?" Abi asks. "Why are we talking about knives?"

Phil motions to Neville with his eyes, a flash of guilt written on Neville's face. Abi frowns, looking at Neville, and her eyes widen when the pieces finally click.

Before she could speak, the jury's murmurs quickly silence. Noticing the change in volume, Dan, Abi, and Phil turn around and watch Rosa walk into the courtroom, followed by a woman with a briefcase and two police officers — one being  _Harry._

Abi's eyes widen at the familiar face, but Phil immediately looks down before he could see  _that damn smirk._

She's decked in an orange jumpsuit, her red hair in a pony-tail. She's wearing red lipstick that paints a smile on her face; one that makes Dan sick.

Rosa and the two police officers pass by their table. Neville straightens, as if trying to impress the woman following Rosa. Abi rolls her eyes, and as they walk by, Rosa trails her fingernail across the wooden surface of the table with a smug smile, before her wrist is yanked away by Harry.

Abi notices Phil's fist shaking, clenching in a tight ball. She gently places her hand over it, rubbing his skin with her thumb gently. His grip loosens.

The opposing side arrives at their table to the left of Dan, Phil, and Abi. Minutes of tense silence pass, before an officer announces, "All rise for the Honourable Judge Clifford."

Everyone stands up as the judge enters the room, and Dan, Phil, and Abi suck in deep breaths;  _this is their beginning._

* * *

The first half of the trial produces idealized results. Dan and Abi give their testimonies to the judge, and through multiple cross-examinations between himself and the other lawyer, Neville is able to prove that he is at least decent at his job.

However, when the judge calls recess, Dan knows that something bad is bound to happen.

Dan, Phil, and Neville exit the courtroom, while Abi stays behind to talk with Harry.

When the three are out of the room, Neville breaks the silence.

"Look, I know this is going to sound really bad, but—"

"Save it," Dan grumbles. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Dani—"

"My name is  _Dan_ ," he snaps before Neville could say anything. "My name is Dan, and you do  _not_ know anything about me, or the  _shit_ I went through after what happened after senior year. The nerve you have to...to think that apologizing will erase the  _hell_  I went through after what happened, I...I can't—"

"Dan, calm down," Phil says quietly, looking at Neville sternly.

"I know it won't fix anything, Dan," Neville says quietly. "But I was an idiot back in high school. And I'm not saying that jail changed me or something — it was the worst two years of my life. I nearly threw my entire life away, but when I was hurting the most, I had to remind myself that it was because I almost took  _your_  life away. For that I will forever be sorry."

Dan remains quiet, feeling as if the scar on his stomach was burning through his clothes. He wraps an arm around his stomach subconsciously, and Neville seems to notice. He sighs.

"I can never erase what I left on you," he says. "I don't intend to, actually, because I don't think I can. I already wrote the damage — the most I can do now is to try and re-write our story. Just...let me help you.  _Let me help your family._ "

Dan feels Phil and Neville's hot stares on him. He looks down.

"Do not  _ever_ try and contact me again," Dan whispers.

Silence.

"Of course," Neville says, almost hurt. Phil says nothing as Neville begins to walk out, but gives Dan a look that was all too familiar to him. Dan sighs.

"Neville?" The former bully turns around upon hearing his name.

"Yes?"

Pause. "Thank you for wanting to try. It...it will never change anything, but it gives me closure. And that is one of the most important things you could ever give me. So...so thank you."

Neville flashes Dan a small smile. Dan tentatively smiles back, and Phil beams.

"Alright, well that was fun!" he says. Dan's smile falls, and he rolls his eyes at him. Neville nods, turning around to walk back into the courtroom once more.

"One more thing?"

He turns around once more. "Yeah?"

"If you ever try and hit on Abi again," Dan says, "I will sock you in the nose.  _And_ you're leaving without a paycheck."

"I don't think that's how it wor—"

"Noted." Neville cuts Phil off with a small, all-knowing twinkle in his eyes, and Dan can't help but blush, leading them back inside the room.

* * *

When recess is called, Abi decides to go up to Harry.

"Hi," she says softly, catching his attention. He looks up from his paper and flashes a small smile.

"Hey," Harry replies. He chuckles. "That was one tough testimony you gave."

Abi shrugs with a sly grin. "In all honesty, my argument was…very emotionally-driven."

Harry laughs quietly. "How are you holding up?"

"Alright, I think," Abi says. "The lawyer we hired turned out to be a...blast from the past for Dan, Phil is really anxious for his testimony, and there's still a possibility that this will all fail somehow, but—"

"But there is a possibility that this will go exactly as planned," Harry finishes for her. "You guys are going to get what you deserve, I promise. After everything you've went through, you can at least be at peace knowing that Rosa will never be in your lives again, no matter what her sentence is."

"Thank you, Harry." She holds his hands gently and smiles. "And thank you for agreeing to speak at the trial today. I really appreciate it."

"Of course," he says reassuringly. "You know I am always here for you."

"I appreciate it," Abi says. Harry nods, and a beat of silence passes before Harry breaks it.

"I didn't mean about today," Harry blurts out. Abi looks at him, confused, and Harry corrects himself; "I mean...when I asked how you were doing, I meant...I meant how you're  _feeling._ Not about the trial but...but like—"

"How do I feel about being  _at_ a trial," Abi finishes off for him. Harry meekly nods. She leans against the edge of the table and crosses her arms.

"It feels weird," Abi admits, "knowing that never in my life has a judge dictated my success, but rather the people I am up against. The worst things in my life happened in front of a judge and now...and now I feel like I am finally going to win in terms of justice. Part of me is thankful, but…"

She trails off when she sees Dan, Phil, and Neville walk back into the room. She sighs.

"But part of me knows that in some ways, we've already lost," Abi says, staring at Phil, who was fiddling with his thumbs nervously.

"This is a step forward." Harry puts a hand on her shoulder and squeezes it softly. "There will always be sacrifices that you need to take in order to move forward, and this is only one of them. You'll get through this, just like you have been able to get through everything you've ever faced thus far. This is only going to help you, I promise.

Abi smiles. "Thank you, Harry. I...I love you a lot."

"I love you too," Harry says, ruffling her hair. She giggles, and retreats back to her seat and sits down, a new-found sense of confidence blossoming in her.

The sound of the gavel echoes in the room.

"Order in the court!"

Abi glares at Rosa, who happens to be staring back. She smirks.

_Round 2._

* * *

The trial seems to go on forever, with counter-argument after counter-argument, testimony after testimony, and Phil feels as if his ears were going to bleed if he ever heard the word "objection!" coming out of Rosa's  _stupid_  lawyer's mouth ever again.

But eventually, his time arrives, and he takes a deep breath when he hears Neville announce, "I hereby invite Philip Lester to the stand."

Phil slowly walks up, feeling the stares of everyone in the room drill into his chest. He stands in his small booth besides the judge, a hand to his heart. His eyes lock with Rosa's dark ones, and her  _smile_  nearly sets him off completely.

"Mr. Lester?" the judge asks. "Are you alright?"

"O-Of course, Your Honour," Phil says. He straightens up and declares loudly, "I solemnly affirm that the evidence to be given by me shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

The judge nods, before looking at Neville. "Proceed."

"Mr. Lester, please describe your relationship with Ms. Rosalina Sals to the jury," Neville states. Phil looks at the jury, and while knowing they are patiently waiting his response, he feels as if their stares were burning into him. He then looks at his family, and then at Abi and Dan.

" _You're okay,"_ Dan mouths. Phil shakily smiles, and leans closer into the mic.

"I-I met Rosa at a moment of what felt like desperation," Phil begins. "My friends were becoming closer, my job felt less satisfying, and my fear of everyone moving forward started to become a reality, as I was grounded in the same spot as the same person."

He stares at Rosa. "And then I met her."

Rosa's cold stare feels as if it is going straight through him, and for a split second, Phil considers running off in a blur of panic.

Then he locks eyes with Abi, who nods for him to continue. He takes a deep breath.

"She treated me unlike anyone has ever treated me before. She was...she was undeniably sweet, and she, at one point, I believe, cared about me."

He sighs. "But then I realized that she wasn't after me."

He is shaking, his heart racing and his mouth threatening to leak words he didn't want to spill.

"I was so blinded by the possibility that someone could love me more; that  _someone could love me better._ " Phil's fist tightens. "And all she ever did was manipulate me. She used my vulnerability to get what she wanted and I was  _okay with that._  When she was hurting me, she managed to convince me that I should be so grateful that it was  _me_. And even without her influence, I was relieved that it was me suffering."

Phil can hear his mum sobbing and Abi's small intakes of breath. He bites his lip.

"But it came to a breaking point when she began to hurt my  _family._  Not only did she use me, but she wanted to use me to  _hurt more the people I love._ Whether that be ending one of them, or...or trapping the heart of another."

He faces Rosa, his fists trembling. Tears begin to fall.

"Rosaline Sals, I have never been more  _ashamed_ in my entire life to say that I was in love. And...and as unfortunate as it is, what happens today doesn't change the fact that  _I know you._ I know that you will walk out of here — your destiny in someone else's hands — and the thought that you possibly  _ruined my chance at loving someone ever again_ …," He shakes his head, almost frustrated, "that thought will never cross your mind."

The room falls silent. He locks eyes with Rosa, and his words come out through broken sobs.

"So Rosaline Sals, I...I hope you  _burn in hell._ "

~~_(Rosa's laugh is all he hears.)_ ~~

* * *

It takes thirty minutes for the jury to decide, and Dan notices that Phil remains silent as his family surrounds him, teary-eyed.

"We love you, Philip," his mum sobs. He says nothing, but pulls her closer.

After speaking with his own family, Dan starts walking towards Abi, who is watching as Neville talk with Harry.

"You okay?" he asks softly. She jumps at the sudden presence, but relaxes upon seeing Dan. She pushes up her glasses.

"Fine," she sighs. "I just want this to be over."

"Me too," Dan says. He looks down shyly before asking, "Are you still okay with dinner?"

Abi giggles. "A bit of an inappropriate time to reaffirm a date, don't you think?"

 _Happy tears._  
_A velvet box.  
_ _The promise of forever._

"I just want to give you an escape," he whispers, pulling Abi closer to him. "An escape from  _it all._ "

She blinks, their faces inches apart. If she leaned in a little closer...if she just—

"Ladies and gentlemen, the jury has reached a verdict."

Dan and Abi turn around, and they suddenly notice that the seats the jury had taken were filled in once more. They return to their seats wordlessly  ~~(although the blush on Dan’s face was practically unavoidable)~~. 

The room falls silent as the judge shuffles papers. He takes a deep breath and finally gives out his statement.

"Ms. Sals, you are hereby sentenced to ten years in prison for the persistent harassment of Daniel Howell, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, and Philip Lester; and for attempted murder, and to two years' probation afterwards, on condition that you complete a court-approved rehabilitation course after you serve your time in prison, and fulfill the terms of a permanent restraining order."

Abi grabs Dan and Phil's hands, her eyes wet with tears. Neville breaks into a big smile, and for the first time,  _Rosa remains silent._

"Case closed," the judge says. "Please take Ms. Sals to her cell."

As Harry and the other officer take Rosaline by the hands, she manages to lunge at Dan, Phil, and Abi once more when she passes by them, despite the attempts the officers make to restrain her.

"You'll never be happy, Phil! Do you know why?!" She glares at him manically, and everything around Phil seemingly freezes. " _Because you're always going to come last._ "

Phil stares at her, and Rosa almost takes it as fear.

She's wrong.

"Goodbye, Rosa," he grits out, " _fuck you._ "

And as she leaves, he finally breaks down, slumping back in his seat and sobbing. Dan and Abi begin to cry as well, and they surround him, holding him close.

"It's over, isn't it?" Abi whispers. Dan looks at Abi with a teary smile.

A dream flashes in his eyes;  
_a dream of a new life._

"I think it's the beginning," he whispers. "Life's about to get really good."

And he smiles.

"I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reviews are totally rad, dude :)


	39. Happy (I Do)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what would make you happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: don’t own dan or phil, nor do i own any social media references, music references, and whatever else you recognize. i do own my oc, abigail elizabeth woods :) 
> 
> includes: uh-oh.  
> does not include: whoops.
> 
> happy new year! this is a solid 3-year story; let’s finish it this year :P

_**Chapter 39: Happy (I Do)** _

Abi kneels to adjust the strap of her shoes as she hears Phil walk towards her. She smiles, looking up at Phil, who is offering her a trenchcoat.

“It gets cold at night,” Phil says with a shrug. She gets off her knees and Phil helps her slip into the coat. She grins brightly at him as she buttons it over her yellow dress.

“Thank you,” she says quietly, kissing his cheek. Phil blushes as Abi pulls back, pushing up her round, brown glasses.

“You be careful,” Phil teases, “I heard Dan is the jealous type.”

“Shut up,” Abi giggles, quickly glancing at the full-length mirror beside her. She spins around slowly, almost self-consciously. Phil seems to pick up on it quickly.

“You look fine,” Phil says. “Please stop spinning.”

“I know, but this is, like...a date,” Abi says shyly. Phil rolls his eyes.

“Oh for God’s sake…”

“Phil, I’m being serious,” Abi laughs. “This is...this is serious.”

“Yes, because this isn’t the first time you guys have expressed romantic feelings for each other,” Phil retorted. “I am surprised you haven’t called last night a ‘date’ yet.”

Abi lightly swings her purse at his leg. “For the last time, Phil, we _weren’t_ having sex.”

“Yeah, that’s because I walked in.”

“He was helping me fix my Tumblr theme!” Abi argues, keeping her eyes on the mirror instead, trying to slip stray hairs into her bun. “If anything, he was giving me advice. Plus he even proof-read my recent post.”

“You know what they say about editing tips,” Phil hums, sipping his coffee.

“Sod off,” Abi giggles. She sneaks a peek at her phone, checking the time.

“Anyway, it’s almost five to.” Abi pecks Phil’s cheek once more. “Said I would meet Dan at the park near the BBC building at like 3. You think I can make it if I run?”

  
“Not in those shoes,” Phil says. “Just take the bus or something. BBC people always take a few years to wrap up meetings anyway.”

“Noted,” Abi says. She looks in the mirror for the last time. Phil throws his head back, groaning.

“For Christ’s sake, Abi.” He spins her around so that she is facing him. “Your natural jawline could cut me if I grabbed it. Your hair looks like it’s made of silk. You look freakin’ _fabulous_ in yellow. I know you’d be blind without them, but _please_ stop wearing contacts and wear your slightly-lower-prescription glasses because they make you seem heckin’ beautiful. I could wrap my arms around you and feel so happy because you look so _warm_. And it’s _March_. And we’re in _England_. Yet you look so... _warm_. You look stunning, Abi.”

Abi blinks.

“See?” Phil mumbles, looking down. “Did the mirror tell you that?”

She could see a blur of Striker trot across the living room into the kitchen. She blushes.

“God, Phil,” she says, rubbing the back of her neck. “You...you know I am not wearing waterproof mascara, right?”

Phil smiles brightly. “Have a lovely date. The bus that goes past our street is leaving in two minutes.”

Abi smiles back, and she rushes out the door with her purse in her hand. Phil watches the door close and sighs, sneaking a glance at himself in the mirror.

He spins around slowly, almost self-consciously.

He’s wearing sweatpants that he hasn’t washed in a while, and he’s wearing his pugs sweater. His glasses were askew and he looked paler than normal.

Striker comes into view and stares at Phil too. As if a light switched on in his head, Phil straightened up and went to his phone.

 _“Why bother calling someone?”_ her voice whispers, as if silk in his ears. _“No one would want to hang out with you anymore. Too much. You have too much.”_

Phil frowns — well that’s new.

He picks up the phone anyway, and calls the first person his eye catches.

“PJ,” he says, slipping the phone in between his ear and his shoulder, “do you want to come over for some pizza?”

* * *

Abi sits on the bench, tapping her foot anxiously. Sure, she knows Dan can’t really stand her up, but there was a part of her brain scared that she wasn’t even in front of the _right_ BBC building…

A blur rushes past her, blowing her hair back. She blinks, surprised, before watching the person skid back to face her. She tiredly smiles upon seeing the familiar face.

“Holy crap, I am so sorry,” Dan says, his words tumbling out. Abi smiles smugly, holding her head up high in a teasing manner. “I-I meant to call you, but the meeting and Holder—do you remember Holder?—and I...I did...I meant to, I—”

Abi grabs his hand to and kisses him. Dan blinks.

“Well that’s not how people usually tell me to shut up,” he murmurs when Abi pulls back. Abi notices the sarcasm in his voice.

“Bad meeting?” she asks, holding his hand as they made their way to the underground. Dan sighs.

“Not a bad one, just an annoying one,” he answers. “They might as well should’ve said ‘shut up.’ I hate hearing _Mr. Howell_ over and over again.”

“Oh, such hardships you face,” Abi teases. Dan rolls his eyes, wrapping his arm around her waist. As they stood by the platform, Abi let her head fall onto Dan’s shoulder.

“Tonight, we can escape all of that,” she whispers into his arm. Dan could feel her warm breath through his jacket and his own breath hitched.

The box felt more present in his jacket pocket.

 _an open box,_  
_happy tears,_  
_i do._  
_i—_

“Do you even know what I just said?” Abi asks, snapping Dan out of his thoughts. He stares down at Abi’s wide eyes and smiles shyly.

“No, sorry,” he says. Abi sighs sympathetically.

“A lot on your mind?” She twirls Dan’s tie in between her fingers. He blushes.

“Yeah, a bit,” he responds. He shakes his hand. “But tonight is about us. I want tonight to be special — I promise I’ll be a little more attentive.”

Abi smiles, and when the train finally slows to a stop in front of them, they walk through the open doors hand in hand.

 _an open box._  
_eyes brighter than the diamonds._  
_i do, dan._  
_i—_

“Do you want to sit down?” Abi asks, once more bringing Dan out of his mind. “I think there may be some seats in the back.

Dan nervously smiles. “I’m fine.”

Abi frowns in response.

* * *

PJ comes not too long after Phil calls. Striker is seemingly happy to see him, racing around PJ until he picks Striker up in his arms, cradling him softly.

“He seems so big now — is that weird to say for a dog?” PJ asks, setting Striker down gently. Phil chuckles.

“I mean, you sound like my Aunt Maggie, but no, it’s not weird. For you at least.”

PJ smiles, heading over to the living room and grabbing a slice of pizza from the box on the coffee table as he sat down on the couch.

“So what brings me to your humble abode?” PJ asks through a mouthful of pizza. Phil shrugs, sitting on the chair opposite. He leans over to grab a slice as well.

“Felt...lonely, I guess,” he says nonchalantly. “I don’t think I’ve had much social interaction nowadays anyway. Not healthy. Wouldn’t recommend it.”

PJ nods sympathetically. “Anything in particular that you’d like to talk about?”

Phil sighs. “Not really, I don’t think. It’s just been a really...eventful couple of days. I think I’m just tired.”

“It was exhausting, innit,” PJ says, “the trial.”

Phil gives a tired smile. “God, exhausting is an understatement. The whole thing just drained the life about of me.”

“Have you talked to Abi or Dan about this?”

“Not really,” Phil admits. “I mean, none of us have really ‘talked’ since the trial. Dan and Abi were mentally preparing for their date or whatever, so I didn’t really want to interfere.”

“Maybe you should all sit ‘round and have a chat.” PJ takes another bite out of the pizza. “You never know, it could help.”

“I probably should.” Phil stands up and goes towards the kitchen. “You want a beer or anything?”

“Just a Coke,” PJ answers, “and I suggest you do the same.”

Phil, two soda cans in his hand, grumbles as he returns, “You’re no fun.”

PJ smiles, taking the drink from Phil as he watched him sit back down.

“I figured that you would want a sober mind,” PJ says. “I think the last thing we need is an emotionally-drunk Phil.”

“Fair enough,” Phil says. He meekly looks up at PJ. “Thanks for coming.”

PJ nods. “Anytime, man. Just...just take care of yourself. I know things are indescribably hard right now but...but you’re not alone.”

He pauses, before hesitantly adding, “Have you considered therapy?”

“That’s sort of been bouncing in my head for a while.” Phil takes a long, tired sip. He swirls the drink lazily in his hand. “That would probably be for the best, innit.”

“It wouldn’t be horrible,” PJ says. “I just think you’d benefit from talking to someone you weren’t afraid of hurting. A therapist has this sort of...separate connection with you. Makes it easier, I hear.”

“Did Dan put you up to this?” Phil teases. “Or better yet, did Abi?”

PJ leans back on his couch. “Advice out of my own pocket, my dude.”

Phil sighs as Striker hops onto the couch and sits on his lap.

“I appreciate it, Peej,” he says quietly. “I...I am really thankful for the advice.”

“You deserve to be happy, Phil,” PJ replies back seamlessly. “You out of all people I know deserve the best life ever given to a person. All you do is be kind to other people — try and be kind to yourself.”

Her voice purrs in his head again. Phil closes his eyes, takes a breath, and smiles brightly at PJ.

“Noted,” he says softly. “Thank you, PJ.”

Silence passes before Phil puts his smile back on.

“Now do you want to play some Mario Kart?”

* * *

It’s halfway through dinner—and halfway through Abi’s salad—that Dan decides to put his plan to action.

 _a velvet box._  
_teary smiles._  
_yes._  
_i do._  
_**i'm so happy**._

“Abi?” She looks up at Dan.

“Yeah?”

Dan’s leg begins to nervously bounce under the table. The velvet box is poking his side.

 _a velvet box._  
_teary smiles._  
_words._

“Can I be honest with you for a minute?” He nervously laughs, adding, “You know, it being a date and all.”

“Of course,” Abi says quietly. “Anything on your mind?”

“Death,” Dan chuckles, “but what else is new?”

The joke didn’t mean to come out as icy as Dan made it seem, but it catches Abi’s concern regardless.

“Is everything alright?” she asks timidly. Dan gulps.

“I…”

_words._

He takes a deep breath.

“It was absolutely horrifying,” he starts, “being in a coma and all. Contrary to popular belief, you really _can_ hear everything. And everyone.”

Abi nervously taps against the table. “Dan…”

Dan grabs Abi’s hands and holds them across the table. He leans forward.

“Being so far away from you was the scariest thing I ever went through,” he admits, his hands slowly shaking. “I could hear you begging for me to wake up, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. It was the worst, Abi, _I didn’t want to die._ ”

“But you’re alive now, Dan,” she whispers, squeezing his hands. “You’re alive now and that’s all that matters. That...doesn’t that make you happy?”

 _yes!_  
_i do!_

“What makes me happy is that I was given another chance to live.” He draws his hand back and quietly palms the velvet box in his hand. “I was given a second chance — one that is rarely given out.”

He stands up. Abi’s eyes follow nervously.

“Dan?”

“I-I...I lost you, Abigail Woods,” Dan stammers. Tears are rolling down his cheeks. “I don’t ever want to lose you again. I can’t do it. I’ve lost you almost twice now,”—He chuckles—“ _third time’s the charm?_ ”

Abi stumbles out of her chair at the same time as Dan falls to his one knee.

“I don’t want to wait anymore.” He pulls out the box and pops it open, wiping the tears with the back of his hand. “I don’t want to lose you, Abi, _I could make us so happy now that I’m here again._ ”

Abi stares at Dan with wide eyes, nervous tears _[shining brighter than the diamond]_ dripping down her cheeks as well.

“Abigail Elizabeth Woods,” he sobs, “will you marry me?”

* * *

 _yes!_  
_i do!_  
_god, dan, i am so happy!_  
**_we’re going to be so happy!_ **

Abi feels as if the whole restaurant is staring at her. Dan is staring at her. She opens her mouth before bringing her hand to her mouth to shut it up. Her hand is trembling—it has to have been two hours by now— _Dan is still staring_.

Dan blinks.

_**dreams and ideas should not be the same thing.** _

“Dan, I…” She can’t finish.

She trails off—a couple a few tables down sympathetically _[disappointedly]_ sigh—and Dan’s smile fades away in a mere second. Abi immediately steps back.

“Dan, wait, I—”

 **_stupid,_ **  
**_stupid,_ **  
**_stupid._ **

Dan slowly stands up, pocketing the box once more, trapping the light that the diamond ring gave off inside that _damned velvet box._

Abi doesn’t say a word as Dan storms out of the restaurant. She doesn’t say a word as she silently sits back down and accepts the bill from a sympathetic waiter.

She thinks that he is offering her a cake on the house.  
She can’t hear him.

 _i do._  
_i do._  
_i do._

**_would it have made you happy if i did?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reviews are my jam, bro-ham :)


	40. And Yes You're In My Head (But That Doesn't Make You Here)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "and soon the sun will rise,  
> that's when the romance dies,
> 
> and i'm just tired of running around."
> 
> ~ cars and telephones, arcade fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: don't own dan or phil, nor do i own any social media references, music references, and whatever else you recognize. i do own my oc, abigail elizabeth woods :)
> 
> includes emotions! yay!  
> does not include enough confessions and sighing, apparently. sorry.
> 
> after this, there's literally two more chapters until the end.  
> whaaaaaaaaat?
> 
> anywhoo this is a bit of a short chapter, and it isn't the best one, but it is necessary. i promise :)

_**Chapter 40: And Yes You're In My Head (But That Doesn't Make You Here)** _

" _Going out,"_ is what he wrote earlier, " _will probably be back tonight."_

Probably.

It has been days since Dan or Abi had talked to each other. Dan knows that the silence made him seem like a dick, but he was  _crushed_ and he is a selfish guy — if he could make Abi feel a fraction of what he felt, then…

' _Then what?'_ he thought as he walked into the café. ' _Then you'd be satisfied? It doesn't mean her answer is going to change. She's always going to say no.'_

Dan frowned; she didn't  _say_ no.

In fact, she didn't say  _anything._ Perhaps that's why he was so upset. Either way, he figures that it would take him weeks—probably years—to get over this.

However, he also knows that he'll have to talk to Abi eventually; sort something out between the two so Dan could at least  _have_ a relationship with Abi.

And that's how he found himself in a café on a dreary London afternoon, waiting for a discount version of a caramel macchiato _,_ just to find a pink-haired lady in a booth waiting for him.

"Dan!" she called out to him, waving. "Over here!"

Dan forces a smile as he walks over to the booth with his drink in hand, sliding into the seat across from her.

"Louise," he says quietly with a small smile. "Thanks for meeting with me. It's...it's really nice to see you again."

"You too!" she chirps happily, taking off her blue beanie. "It's honestly been too long since I've seen you guys — how are you?"

"Eh, could be better," Dan sighs, taking a sip of his drink. "How are you?"

Louise laughs. "Could be better! Taking care of a baby is hard and such."

"Can't even imagine," Dan chuckles softly.

Louise must've saw the falter in Dan's smile, because she reaches over the table and grabs Dan's hands softly.

"Sweetie," she murmurs, "tell me from the beginning."

So Dan did. He tells Louise through shaky breaths and nervous tears about the story between him and Abi. He goes all the way back to the tour and tells her about Rosalina, about their date-not-dates, about  _every kiss._

And Louise listens. She listens to every sob and to every angry sip that Dan takes out of his discount caramel macchiato. She listens to the amount of money he spent on a ring, how he doesn't believe in a life after second chances, and how he hasn't spoken to Abi for almost a week and how he  _misses her voice_.

She listens to him ramble until he coughs because he's rambled too long, and she listens to him continue anyway.

And when Dan's done his story, Louise listens to him heave heavy breath.

"Dan," she says quietly. "You do know that you must've overwhelmed her, right?"

"I know," Dan replies, spinning the empty coffee cup around mindlessly. He stares at the window. "I just...she could've said something, couldn't she?"

"When you were shot, did you say anything?" Louise asks. Dan frowns, and looks up at her.

"Pardon?"

"When you were shot," she asks again, "what did you say?"

Dan pauses. Louise hums, sipping her own drink.

"Even if she wanted to say something, she couldn't," Louise explains. "Dan, spending an entire life with someone is a really big commitment."

"But—"

"You have to take that seriously," Louise cuts him off. "It's a life you're going to give to someone you haven't even dated properly. I know you love Abi. And Abi loves you. But don't you think proposing to someone right on the spot is fair?"

Dan stays quiet, but his lip trembles in a way that gives Louise the answer. She strokes Dan's hand with her thumb.

"Honey..." she murmurs.

"I know," Dan sniffles. "Fuck, I am such an idiot."

"You're not an idiot," Louise says, "you're scared."

Dan looks up at her.

"You're scared you're going to lose everything because you were so close to," Louise continues. "Dan, that is the most human thing you could ever think. But it doesn't mean that it's going to become your reality. Your life is still the same as it was before. The people in your life are still the same people. All you have is a different  _perspective_. A perspective that is beyond your years — a perspective of life that shouldn't hurt you, but  _help you._ "

She gently smiles, but it fades when she sees Dan's head fall, looking down at his shoes.

He looks broken.  
 _Confused_.

She sighs, squeezing his hands to bring him back into reality.

"Don't let that new perspective hinder you, Dan," she says quietly.

And all Dan does is nod.

* * *

Phil is against the idea of Abi taking Striker out for a walk during such a dark night, but sullenly agrees on the condition that he comes with her.

"You know," Abi says as she slips on her coat, "you don't have to worry about me walking alone in the dark. I've done it before."

"Yeah, and now we've been stalked too," Phil retorts, helping Striker into his harness. "Besides, I've been in the house all day. I could use a walk too."

Abi knows that "I could use a walk too" actually means "I know why you're going on this walk so let me walk with you," and Abi hates that Phil knew her so well.

She knows that Dan was (probably) going home any minute now, and despite having the entire day to think about what she was going to say to him, she is still unprepared.

She sighs, taking Striker's leash and attaching it to his harness, and grabs her beanie off the door-side table. She faces Phil, who slips on his sneakers and nods. She walks out the door with Phil trailing behind her.

Phil doesn't waste too much time before breaking the seconds' worth of silence.

"So are you going to tell me what happened during that date?" Phil asks. Abi sighs, digging her hands into her jacket pocket as she watches Striker trot ahead of them.

"Dan proposed to me," she mumbles. Phil immediately stops walking.

"Wait,  _what?!"_ he says with eyes big enough for Abi to see in the dark. She grimaces as she continues to walk ahead of Abi.

"Please don't make a big deal out of this," she groans.

"Not make a big deal out of this?" Phil echoes, rushing back to catch up with her. "How can I not make a big deal out of this? You guys have been engaged since, like, six days ago?! And you haven't told me? How could—"

He stops abruptly when he sees Abi's face. He frowns.

"...Oh." He clears his throat. "Um, not...it's not a big deal."

Abi sighs. "I said nothing, Phil."

"Nothing?" Phil blinks. "What...what do you mean?"

"I mean I said nothing!" Abi snaps, spinning around to face Phil. He grabs the leash out of her hand slowly and takes over walking Striker in hopes of calming Abi down.

"I literally said nothing," she says again. "Zilch. Zero. No words came out of my mouth. Not 'yes, God, Dan, I love you,  _yes,'_  or 'no' — not even a flimsy 'maybe'!"

"Slow down," Phil says firmly. "You said Dan proposed to you? Do you know why?"

"What do you mean 'why'?" Abi looks down at the ground, kicking a stray rock with the tip of her boots. "You propose to someone because you love someone."

"Alright, but Dan has always loved you." Abi blushes. "Can you think about the reason he would propose  _now?_ "

Abi pauses before a look of recognition flashes across her face.

"He doesn't want to lose you," Phil says before she could. "I know it was a hasty move on his side, and yeah, it was thrown at you unexpectedly. But you have to understand that it was coming from someone who is more scared of losing you than ever."

"He shouldn't have put me in that position though," Abi protests, turning a corner with Phil. "God, am I just being a bitch? I  _can't_ be overreacting that much right now...right?"

"Are you mad?" Phil asks.

"I don't know," Abi sighs. "I think I am...I am just frustrated. Frustrated that he would even  _ask_."

"Why would that frustrate you?"

"Because he knew that it was very much possible that I would've said yes," Abi grumbles.

Phil takes a deep breath, looking down as Striker continues to trot ahead of him.

"You have every right to be nervous, Abi," he says. "I think you two really need to talk. I know that Dan acted too quickly, but...but you have to see it in his eyes too. He was given a second chance, and was given a...a different lense to use when looking at life."

Phil stops and grabs Abi's hand before she could walk ahead. When Abi looks up, she realizes that they already walked a lap of their block and they were back at the house.

The light was on in their house, and Abi could see that the fireplace was lit in the living room.

She knows who was home.

"You love him," Phil says. "Try not to forget that either, okay?"

Abi says nothing.

"Do you want to go in?" Phil asks quietly. Abi nods wordlessly, walking up the stairs to the front door.

When she unlocks the door, she is greeted with Dan's wide eyes. His hand is extended forward ever-so slightly, as if he was going to open the door too.

They hold each other's stares for too long,  
and in that moment, they both felt as if they were  _home._

Dan falls into Abi's arms, sobbing, before Abi could fucking kiss him.  
She holds him as if she was going to lose him too.

"Let's go for one more round," Phil murmurs to Striker, and slowly closes the door, turning around to face the cold night once more.

They were alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reviews would be lovely xx


	41. To Those We Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~ reuniting in three parts ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i don’t own dan or phil, nor do i own any social media references, music references, and whatever else you recognize. i do own my oc, abigail elizabeth woods :)
> 
> includes: typing up some loose ends and fictional jails because i can.  
> does not include: a gap in updating, i promise this time
> 
> the next chapter is the epilogue, which means this will be the last author’s note i do for this story! which is really surreal — i started this story in 2015? with no plot whatsoever? all i had was “i want dan to save something in a train-tracks for some girl” and here we are today. and there were so many flaws in this story, but i’ve learned so much since the beginning. i feel like this story definitely shaped who i am as a writer, as cheesy as it sounds. i really appreciate those who stuck around since the beginning, who left random comments of squeals and screams, and of course, to anyone that’s ever enjoyed it. i love you all a bunch. thank you.
> 
> so, dear reader,  
> make sure you enjoy this one. *hand-hearts*

_**Chapter 41: To Those We Left Behind** _

They stand in complete silence for a while.

If Phil was here, Abi knows he would break the silence somehow. Silence was always a rarity in their home, so when it did come around, it felt  _unbearable._

So Abi holds Dan in her arms for as long as she could,  
but when he eventually pulls back,  
the silence broke.

"A-Abi—"

" _Shhh,_ " she whispers, pulling Dan closer and slowly leading him to the lounge, still wrapped in his embrace. They stand near the fireplace, and all there ever was is  _silence._

"I-I shouldn't have," Dan says quietly;  _brokenly._

"That's not true," Abi reassures, taking a step back. Dimly-lit by the fireplace, Abi could barely see the glisten of tears in Dan's eyes.

"I shouldn't have put you in that kind of position." Dan takes Abi's hands and squeezes them tightly. "I care about you more than anything — I don't need a ring to solidify that. It...it was stupid."

"Not stupid." She rubs the side of his hands with her thumb gently. " _Scared._ "

The sound of the fire crackling breaks the silence.

"I know I am," Dan admits, looking down at his hands in the middle of both of them, holding Abi's. "I don't want to lose you again."

"I don't think you ever could." Abi steps towards Dan once more.

"Have you ever wondered if two people can be so destined to be with each other?" Abi asks. "Have their stories intertwined so  _perfectly_ that they are just meant to fall apart and fall back together again?"

A beat of silence.

"...No." Dan blinks. "Not really, actually."

Abi smiles. "Me neither. But when have we ever been right?"

Dan laughs quietly, stepping closer to Abi as well.

"We've never been right about anything." Abi smiles, wiping a few tears off Dan's cheek. "You thought I was a game-changer. I thought I'd move out many times. You thought you lost me. We thought Rosalina was lovely."

Their hands intertwined.

"I am just a girl who decided to stay. I'm still here, and we all know what happened with Rosalina." She rubs Dan's hand with her thumb.

"So who's to say that I'm right about saying no now?" she whispers. Dan frowns, and Abi sighs.

"I can't marry you, Dan," she says quietly, "but I can  _try._ "

"Try?" Dan echoes.

"Try  _this._ " She pulls Dan into a sweet kiss, pressing him close to her chest. Dan, a bit surprised, eventually wraps his arms around Abi's waist.

When they pull back, their noses barely grazed each other's.

"I want a forever with you, Dan Howell," she whispers; "I want a  _home._ "

Dan smile is brighter than the fire behind them.

"Well," he says, hands interlocking once more, "we all know what they say about home."

* * *

Phil wonders how long it takes for Dan and Abi to talk.

He was secretly hoping that Abi would call him; tell him that all was fine now and that he could go home. But his phone was silent during his ten, twenty, maybe  _fifty_  laps around the block.

Giving in, he decides to walk a few more steps to the small park near their house, watching as the slowly-pouring rain surround him. He takes a seat on the bench and lets Striker hop onto the seat beside him, sheltering him from the rain with his jacket. He sighs, watching the world become drenched around him.

He has come a long way since living in the heart of London. Admittedly, there are times where he misses its buzz, but nights like this remind him that he belongs in the outskirts of a busy life.

As he watches the rain pour, he can't help but think if Dan and Abi feel the same way, or if they would want to move back in the city when they eventually fall even more in love and get married, with their children and their cat. He wonders if they would move further out near the edge of London, or move out of England completely to start a family in Canada.

He wonders if they would leave him behind.  
He wonders if maybe it's too late to ask.

He knows they're talking about  _something_ —some kind of possibility—and if they aren't going to go for it now, he knows that they'll go for it in a year or two.

Phil knows that he'll have to move on someday. Find someone to love again; someone who isn't hellbent on killing someone else, or someone who isn't hellbent on loving someone else either. Even if Dan and Abi stick around, he knows he'll have to find someone to love eventually.

 _Could he?_  The thought is nearly as loud as the slowly pouring rain. Striker is shivering, and Phil knows his rainy-night contemplation can't last forever.

He stands up, as if he's ready to move on from  _everything_ :  
from Rosa,  
from tears,  
from being alone,  
 _from someone who can love him better._

"Hey, mister," a voice pops up from behind him. "I should have you arrested for how you're treating your dog."

Phil jumps at the noise and turns around to face a rather young red-haired girl, assumably in her late 20s. She's holding a yellow umbrella, and wearing a matching yellow jacket, yellow boots, and yellow hat. Her brown glasses are sliding off her nose.

She's looking up at Phil with soft, green eyes.

"P-Pardon?" he stammers.

"You think your jacket is enough for a poor doggo in this kind of weather?" She extends her umbrella forward, towards him. "You're screwing it  _and_ yourself over."

"My dog is not an 'it'," Phil says, joking lightly. "Striker is a  _he._  And  _he_ happens to be quite warm under my jacket."

" _Striker._ " The girl's sudden laugh sends chills up Phil's spine. He smiles shakily. "I 'ought to have you arrested for the name alone."

"Nothing wrong with Striker," Phil says. The girl puts her hands up in the air, lifting her umbrella higher with her.

"I'll concede," she says; "I guess it's just a  _striking_ difference from most dog names."

Phil blinks, confused for a mere second before he saw the girl laugh. He begins to laugh as well, and the girl extends the umbrella forward once more.

"Though seriously," she says between giggles, "get under here. You're soaking, and you can carry your dog so poor thing doesn't have to walk through this torrential downpour any longer."

"Have you just moved to England?" Phil jokes. "This is nothing."

"Only been here two weeks," the girl replies. "I guess I should be nervous then."

Phil smiles, looking at the girl, who lifts the umbrella higher when Phil goes underneath it. He laughs, picking up Striker and handing him to her, exchanging Striker for the umbrella.

"How about I hold this," he says quietly, holding the umbrella up. The girl sighs in relief, patting Striker's head softly.

"Was waiting for you to ask, you giant tower," she says with a smile. Phil grins.

"I'm Phil by the way," he says. "Thanks for lending me your umbrella."

"No problem," she replies. "Emily's are supposed to help others."

"Is that a fixed definition?" Phil laughs. The girl—now  _Emily_ —shrugs.

"It is now," she says with a bright smile; brighter than any of the rain surrounding him. "Now, lemme walk you home, and you can tell me why you were sitting in the rain as if you were an angsty kid in a movie."

"Why do you care?" Phil asks before thinking of it. Emily shrugs.

"Because I kinda care about what the rain means to you right now." She looks down at Striker. "I know what it means to me."

When Phil looks at Emily, he feels the sun shine against the odds of this cold, rainy night.

He didn't want to settle for better anymore;  
 _he wanted someone who could love him more._

"I guess I can ramble for a while then," Phil says, and the two walk back towards his house, letting their smiles and their artificial yellow umbrella and  _each other_  act as their sunshine for now.

(And Phil feels a bit lighter as he walks another lap of the block this time.)

* * *

A few days later, whilst Dan and Phil dedicate the day to filming new gaming videos, Abi takes a train early in the morning up north. Dan would kill her if he knew—or would force himself onto her until she let him join—so Abi lies and says she's just spending the day outside for a while. Getting fresh air.

Instead she walks into the cold atmosphere of North Salton County Jail, asking the front desk if she could see Ben Woods. The receptionist frowns— _no one's visited him in so long—_ and Abi says nothing.

It's almost silent in the room they placed Abi in. She waits on this old chair, staring straight ahead at the matching telephone and chair on the other side of the glass. She pulls out her phone and puts it on silent, before stuffing it back in her jacket and folding her hands on her lap.

She takes a deep breath.

 _One._  
Two.  
Thr—

The door on the other side of the glass opens, and out walks  _her father;_ dressed in orange and sporting a bruised eye. She pays no attention to it because it reminds her of her bruised neck from all those months ago.

He sits on the chair and the two police officers stand at the door he entered from.

They stare at each other for a little while, and for a split second,  
it's almost as if they were trying to remember what they once looked like  
and who they once were.

Abi slowly picks up the phone.

"Hey, dad." She immediately looks down at the desk when he picks up the phone on the other side of the glass.

"Abigail," he said gruffly. Abi winces, and she wonders for the first time if this was a mistake. She takes a deep breath and looks at him, before seeing that he was  _sad_  rather than upset.

"How'd they let you in," he asks.

"I asked," she replied. He shakes his head.

"So who died," he finally says. "There's no way you got hit by another car. Do you want me to punch someone? Or are you here to rub it in my face that I'm never getting out of here?"

"Never getting out of here?" Abi echoes. He looks down, and Abi finally gets it.

"What did you do?"

"Went too hard on the newbie," he mutters. That's all he has to say about that.

"Do you ever want to get out of here, dad?" Abi asks, almost tired.

"What's the point in doing that?" he shoots back. Abi shakes her head, and she imagines Dan wrapping his arms around her. Phil's beside her too, placing a hand on her shoulder. Striker's at her feet.

She's fine.  
 _This is fine._

"I'm getting married," she blurts out.

Her dad stares at her, eyes wide. His hands tighten around the phone.

"That's…" She gulps. "That's why."

Silence.  
Abi feels as if she wants to  _explode_.

"Married?" he asks, quieter now. "Is it to the brown fringe or black?"

Abi blinks, surprised. "Brown. How—"

"If it was black fringe, I was going to smash the glass." Abi smiles, but it's only because he smiles too. She sighs.

"Plus I figured it'd be the brown haired one," he adds hesitantly. "I just...I remember seeing 'im once. On the news."

"On the news?" she echoes.

"The trial," he says. "It was televised, 'asn't it? The TV here isn't crap. The story was pretty big, I guess — didn't you guys trend or something?"

"Twitter," she replies quietly. "I didn't know it was so...public."

"So you're marrying...Dan, was it?" Abi nods. "When?"

"Not now," she says, "but soon. I...I just wanted to tell you."

"I'm not going out for the wedding," he says, his voice icing over. "You and I both know that. So why on Earth would you want me to know?"

"Because you're my dad." Abi sighs. "I just want...your blessing, I guess."

They're both quiet for a while. Abi's grasp on the phone tightens.

"I'll forgive you someday," Abi begins. "When you're out of here—"

"That's not going to happen, Abigail."

" _When you're out of here,"_ —Abi squeezes the phone  _tighter—_ "I'm going to bring you out for coffee."

"Abi—"

"I'm going to ask you if you learned something." Abi feels herself swallowing down tears. "I am going to tell you that  _nothing_ will buy back the years you used to you hurt me."

He says nothing.

"But I'm not going to forgive you." Abi's voice cracks. "I... _God,_ I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Abi." When she looks up,  _she realizes that he's crying too._

"I'll ask you if you want  _time._ " She wipes her sloppy tears with the back of her hand. "I'll ask if you can handle a few days, a few hours. I'll ask if you want to see the photos of our wedding. Of the future you missed."

She shakily smiles.

"I'll ask if you want to be part of that future," Abi says, "because I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking you're still behind bars."

Silence.

"He changed you, didn't he?" her dad asks. "Taught you how to forgive. Taught you how to love."

"Dad—"

"He taught me that too, I think." He twirls the cord of the phone with his index finger. "I saw him hold you at the trial. The reporter was saying a terrible voiceover, but I could hear everything I needed to hear.  _I heard everything I should've been_."

He sighs.

"I give you my blessing, Abigail. Have your future." He smiles, his hand sliding closer to the bottom of the glass' edge. Abi's hand edges closer as well.

"If it's to any consolation," he continues, "I'm sorry. I could've given you a life outside of this room — outside of the life you knew. I hurt you in ways that are unforgivable, and it makes me sick that I still have thoughts of me not being able to forgive you for putting me here."

He closes his eyes.

"But I could have given you a home." His hand balls into a fist at the edge of the glass. "I don't think even a lifetime sentence could punish me as much as the fact that I can't give you a home anymore."

They say nothing.  
(Abi remembers when all of this meant nothing to her.)

"I have to go, dad," she says quietly. "I'll...I'll visit you more often, okay?"

"Don't." He pulls his hand back. "Start your future. If...if you let me, I'll get there someday."

Abi places a hand on the surface of the glass, half-expecting her dad to the same. The tears felt as if they'd be there forever.

He doesn't.

"I'll see you later, dad." She places the phone back and watches as the guards take her dad away once more.

As she walks out, she pulls out her phone and sees a text from Dan.

 **Dan-Bear xx  
** come homeee - we r getting sushi |  _5 minutes ago_

Abi smiles  
behind hear tears.

_Home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments/kudos/whatever are great :)


	42. Home Is Where The Heart Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a year later.

_**Chapter 42: Home Is Where The Heart Is** _

_~ A year later ~_

Abi rolls her eyes as Phil adjusts the hem of her blazer for the fiftieth time.

"For Christ's sake, Phil," she grumbles. "It's fine."

"Emily says that they're not supposed to be completely even, but slightly apart?" Phil murmurs, still trying to fix her blazer. "What does that even mean?"

"That your girlfriend is a dork," Dan retorts. Phil rolls his eyes and Abi laughs.

"Be nice," she playfully scolds.

"You first," Dan shoots back when Phil gives up on the blazer. Abi giggles, pecking his cheek. They all hear a small buzz from Phil's pocket, and when he pulls out his phone, his smile grows.

"Louise says Striker's clawing at the TV," Phil laughs. "Do you know when you're going on?"

"Five minutes," she says, throwing her phone on the couch besides her mini-TV. She watches as Dan gets another gummy bear and adds, "You know, we have to save those gummies for an important person when they get into  _their_ dressing room."

"Important person?" Dan echoes. "Do I have to remind you that you're the most popular music blogger of this day and age?"

"Calm down, you have a biased opinion."

"Numbers don't lie, Abi," Phil chirps from behind, sneaking another gummy bear into his mouth. She blushes, and thanks any higher power up there that someone calls all three of them down to the set.

When they get there, Abi watches nervously as the reporter prepares her notes and some crew members adjust the chair she'll be sitting on  _in front of about thousands of people_  so that it's slightly angled away from the camera.

"Y'all are doing great!" Phil yells to everyone to break the tension. Abi covers his mouth immediately, smiling shyly at everyone else.

" _Dork,"_  she hisses.

"Right back atcha," Phil says smugly. His phone buzzes again, and when he realizes that it's a call this time, he goes off to answer it.

"So, you nervous?" Dan asks. Abi rolls her eyes.

"Understatement," she mutters. Dan goes behind Abi's back, giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze.

"I can change the question," he replies. "Does Jonathan know you're on in five? He better be switching all the channels and what not."

Abi scoffs. "He's only going to be doing that because he wants to make sure I promo him and the shop. He's such a greedy owner."

"You literally have  _two_ jobs at that place: store managing, and  _advertising._ "

"Don't go all logic on me," Abi giggles. She traces a finger up Dan's chest and flicks his nose playfully. Dan smiles, and presses a soft kiss on her lips.

"You're going to do great, okay?"

"Of course." Abi takes a deep breath as the camera-person waves her onto the set. She adjusts her blazer. "I'm going to do great."

Phil jogs back to Abi and Dan and says, "Emily wishes you the best!"

"Were you out in the back getting off to her voice again?" Dan snickers. Phil punches him in the arm, and Abi just laughs, pecking Phil on the cheek.

"Going on," Abi says. "I hope you didn't wreck Emily too hard because I want her to watch as well."

Phil furiously blushes, and Abi goes onto the set and sits on the chair. She smiles nervously at the camera-person.

_One,  
Two,_

_Thr—_

* * *

The interview goes decently well, Abi thinks. She can't really judge—it was her first interview after all—but it went smoothly for something that was live.

The interviewer asks questions about her blog ("3.2  _million_  people," she says, "how do you do it?" "I guess people really like music.") and asks about her family (she wonders if her dad is watching this right now).

Dan and Phil are at the sidelines, mimicking things like "straighten your back" and "you're doing great!" every few minutes to keep her going. She fights off the urge to laugh, but does end up straightening her back.

During the last few minutes of the interview, Abi hears the question she was expecting.

"I know that you are friends with Dan Howell and Phil Lester, famous British vloggers who both share almost 10 million subscribers."

"No need to boost their ego," Abi jokes, and she sees Dan mimic a cut-throat action, and Phil's hand being thrown onto his heart. She stifles a laugh.

"Of course," the interviewer laughs back. "But I was curious if you think that you somewhat owe your success to them? To what extent do you think they helped you with your career?"

Abi pauses.

"Well, they don't really share any part of my success on the blog," she answers, "anyone could get famous on Tumblr. However, I would think that Dan and Phil people more... _aware_  that it exists. But it I know that I'm not a fan-blog; I am a music critic. If people came for Dan and Phil, they would've left by now, because I dton' mention Dan or Phil on her blog, and never will."

She smiles. "People were there because of me, and that's all that was important. Granted, they're not getting anything other than my opinions, so I guess that's another indicator."

"Right," the interviewer says. Abi feels like that isn't the answer she wanted, so she clears her throat.

"But I can't hog all the credit," she says; "after all, they helped me  _get_ a career. If it wasn't for them, I'd probably be running on poor fast-food salaries or I'd probably be dead."

She sneaks a glance at Dan and Phil, who were watching with smiles. She smiles too.

"The road to here has been really hard," she continues. "I don't think I would ever want to do it again. But then again...I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else."

She looks at the interviewer once more.

"Even if Dan and Phil didn't directly help my career, they did give me what I couldn't get before — a home." She feels her heart race and she folds her hands neatly on her lap. "I guess home is where the heart is, and I've found that my heart belonged with them."

The interviewer's smile was nothing compared to Dan and Phil's.

After the cameras go off and Abi shakes the interviewer's hand, she runs to Dan and Phil and wraps them in a tight hug.

"You were great, Abi," Phil says, ruffling her hair. She rolls her eyes, but touches his nose with her index finger anyway.

As Phil goes off—no doubt to grab more snacks from the change room before leaving—Dan pulls Abi in a tight kiss.

"I love you," he says when they pull back.

Abi says the same thing, but with one word less:

" _I do."_

It only takes a second, but Abi would replay that second over and over again if it meant seeing him smile.

"Let's start a home together, okay?" Dan says, holding her hands. Tears slide down both of their faces, and Abi kisses him once more.

"Home is with you," she whispers. "It has always been with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <33


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